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Quite some time ago Juliet Matthews had come to the conclusion that in every friendship there was the nice one, and the not so nice one, and when she met Chrissy Cunningham on her first day of high school, she was more than willing to take on the role of the latter.
Because being around Chrissy was like being around a ball of sunshine. She was happiness personified. If Chrissy was warm and bubbly, then Juliet had to be as cold as ice. Whereas, Chrissy would always have a kind smile on her face, there would be Juliet next to her with a judgemental frown.
Though they were both similar in appearances, light hair and matching cheer uniforms, in many ways they were polar opposites. Still, it was rather hard to describe Juliet Matthews because to describe someone, you had to know them, and to truly know Juliet Matthews was very rare.
Though, there were many things people were able to say about her.
She was on the cheer team, one of the most popular girls in school, her best friend was Chrissy Cunningham, she came from a well off family, her brother died in a car crash five years ago, and she was beautiful.
Her perfectly styled blonde hair was never seen out of place, her skin was practically flawless, and her bone structure remarkable. She carried herself with an air of grace that made it seem like she was gliding rather than walking through life. When she wasn't in her cheer uniform, her clothes were always of the latest trends and the envy of the school.
And lastly, she was cold. She looked like she was made of ice and acted like it too. Her voice would often be laced with bitterness, entangled with the sharpness and wit of her words. Her peers at school would part like the red sea when they saw in coming in fear of what she might say or do if they didn't. Juliet always said exactly what she was thinking, sparing no second to hold anything back.
However, if you looked close enough, behind the glossy sheen of her green eyes you could see the emptiness. The vast sadness of a hollow girl who felt like everything had been ripped from her from the inside out. The despair from two broken parents, the never-ending grief of her brother's death, and the fear she would slip back down to the bottom of the social pyramid, a place she swore she would never return to no matter the cost.
But there were moments when her walls would fall and the real Juliet Matthews would appear. The one that was unwaveringly loyal, would do anything for the people she cared about, and was actually incredibly kind. The one that could laugh so hard that she'd have to clutch at her sides as tears leaked from her eyes and be so dorky it was actually embarrassing.
The one who would go to her best friend's house every night after cheer practice to make sure she ate.
That Wednesday night, as usual, Juliet and Chrissy sat on Chrissy's bed and planned their evening.
"I'm exhausted." Chrissy groaned as she flopped down backwards onto the pink ditsy floral covers of her bed. "I really didn't think the team were going to win that game. I'm glad they did, but at least if they didn't we wouldn't have had to endure two hours of cheer practice."
"How much do you wanna bet that Jason is going to give some cheesy speech tomorrow about the mall fire victims inspiring their win?" Juliet teased. The basketball team were as predictable as they came.
Chrissy sat up on her elbows to scrunch her face up at her best friend. "You can't say that, Jules!" She scolded. "What happened last year was a tragedy and people are still grieving."
The fire that happened at Starcourt Mall last year was a tragedy, Juliet agreed, and her heart broke for the victims, but it seemed the whole town had now taken it on as their own personal sob story and used it as an excuse to gain even a slither of attention.
"Oh come on, Chrissy." Juliet began. "People use what happened last year as a reason for everything. I just went two rounds with the girl I've been trying to bang since sophomore year inspired and spurred on by the tragic deaths of our dear friends." She mocked.
"Like yes, I'm sure Chief Jim Hopper heroically gave his life so you could have the inspiration to win some useless high school basketball game. He can definitely rest easy now... You know, if people were really that upset they would do something to help. Sue Starcourt Industries for building a mall so flammable or help out the families of the victims. Did you know they got basically no settlement money? Billy Hargrove's little sister now lives in a rundown trailer on the dodgy side of town. That's the real tragedy and you know I'm right."
Chrissy could only stare agape back at Juliet, agreeing with what she was saying but mind racing trying to take in the ramblings. She then burst out into a smile. "Yes, yes, Juliet, you're right about everything as usual. You are the voice of wisdom in this town and we would all be lost without you." She teased, lightly shoving Juliet so she too fell back against the bed. "But maybe we can do something to help. A bake sale to raise money for the families of the victims?"
Juliet's heart swelled at her friend's kindness. "That's a good idea, Chris. We'll do it after Spring Break."
"Okay, fun. I haven't baked in ages!" She beamed then jumped off the bed. "Anyway, what film do you want to watch tonight?"
"Anything other than The Breakfast Club!" Juliet ordered, noticing the way Chrissy's hands were instinctively reaching out for that box on her shelf. "We've watched it almost every night ever since you got it on tape."
"But it's just so good!" Chrissy exclaimed. "The way one single event brings five completely different people together, all from different social circles. And Judd Nelson is just so... sexy."
"Don't let Jason hear you say that." Juliet teased causing Chrissy to whack her with a pillow. "Shut up! We're definitely watching it now." She slid the tape into the VHS player whilst Juliet leaned off the side of the bed to reach into her rucksack and pull out a sharing bag of popcorn. She always came prepared.
As the opening credits began to play, Chrissy settled next to Juliet on the bed, watching her shove a large handful of sweet popcorn into her mouth. "Want some?" Juliet offered, extending the bag to Chrissy, who shook her head. "No thanks. I'm not hungry, I had a big lunch."
"You sure?"
She nodded politely again.
They never directly spoke about Chrissy's issues with eating, but both girls knew it existed. Juliet would always find a way to subtly ask what Chrissy had eaten that day and then make sure it was at least something. She would also always make sure Chrissy never missed a session with the school counsellor.
She knew telling Chrissy's parents was out of the picture, but she had debated telling Jason. Though came to the conclusion he wouldn't understand and she didn't want to make things worse.
"Well I for one am starving, so I'm going to scoff this delicious popcorn in my face and feel very guilty and selfish for not sharing it."
Juliet smirked before shoving another handful of the snack into her mouth. Chrissy rolled her eyes. "Fine." She relented and took a few pieces then popped them in her mouth.
Satisfied, Juliet finally settled in to watch the film.
Only half an hour in a knock came from the bedroom door and it opened to revealed Chrissy's mom. "Hey, girls. I didn't know you were in."
"We got back from cheer practice a while ago and now we're watching a film." Chrissy smiled.
The older woman's eyes fell down upon the bag of popcorn and her face turned into a frown. "You shouldn't eat that stuff, it's full of sugar and calories. Just because it's corn doesn't mean it won't make you put on weight."
Juliet could sense Chrissy deflate next to her and see her hesitantly move the bag away. If Juliet didn't have such respect for Chrissy and the hospitality her family had shown Juliet over the years, she would've stood right up and given Chrissy's mom a piece of her mind.
Instead, she took the high road.
"We just had two hours of gruelling cheer practice, I'm sure we've done enough to earn ourselves a little treat."
Mrs Cunningham smiled tightlipped and it's insincerity was clear. "Of course, but remember, self-discipline is a sign of good character."
As soon as she left the room, Juliet placed a supportive hand on Chrissy's shoulder then quickly pressed play, hoping the movie would be enough of a distraction from the words of her mother.
As the ending scene rolled in and Bender raised his fist into the air and Simple Mind's Don't You began to play, Juliet turned to Chrissy expecting to see her either crying or ready to gush about how amazing the film was. Instead, she was barely looking at the screen, a faraway look in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Juliet asked gently and Chrissy turned to look with her with such dejection that Juliet's stomach dropped.
"Do you ever wish you could just disappear?" Chrissy asked. Her voice was low and sorrowful. "Or just be numb and unafraid."
Juliet had felt like that and often still did. The period after her brother died there had many times she wished she could skip days or weeks, sometimes even life itself. There was a constant dull pain inside her that never went away and she couldn't help but feel like she was living her life on auto-pilot. As if everything was happening but she wasn't really there.
She knew about Chrissy's nightmares and her constant anxiety. Things had been bad recently.
"Of course," Juliet answered, thinking of the best way to console her friend. "Especially on bad days, but they pass. Sometimes life is just about having to persist on until things get better."
"But what if there was a way to make things easier in the meantime?"
Juliet frowned at Chrissy in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Do you remember Chance's party at Christmas? Some of the guys there they were doing, um," She paused, twirling a strand of her hair round her finger nervously. "they were doing drugs and they seemed so relaxed and calm, like they were in a dream world and -"
"Are you telling me you want to do drugs!?" Juliet interrupted, unable to stop the shock or anger in her voice and face.
Chrissy shushed her, not wanting her parents to hear the exclamation, but Juliet was unable to hold herself back. "That's ridiculous, Chrissy! How you could even consider the idea is beyond me."
"I just think they could help me, you know? I feel like I'm losing my mind and I just want, even for a second, to feel normal. To not be afraid or insane."
"I understand, you know I do, but there are other ways to feel better, Chris." She rested her hand on top of Chrissy's so that she looked up at her. "Drugs are not the answer."
Chrissy looked back down to the hands in her lap sheepishly, but she nodded anyway. "I know, I'm sorry. It was just an idea, but you're right, it's stupid. I'm not going to do it."
"Thank you."
And though she moved her hand away, Juliet had the most horrible of feelings that this wasn't over.