Levi's POV
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By sun down we were inside the walls, listening to the civilians complaining.
"Aren't there fewer than there were this morning?" We'd defeated something big...but still we had too many casualties to celebrate the feat. I walked in front of everyone else but behind Erwin.
"Man...far fewer..." Violet's carriage was trailing around the back where Yeager was taking care of her. Of course the other clingy brat was with him. Everyone had lowered their head in shame.
"Another disaster." Someone pointed out the obvious. The hate in their tone was sickening.
"Just this morning, they left raising a ruckus, but they're already back?" Nothing false about that, but had they come with us, no doubt they'd piss their pants.
"What was the point?" I looked straight ahead, unable to meet the civilian's eyes but still had enough pride to not look down.
"Who knows? But judging from the gloomy expressions, they managed to waste more of our taxes if nothing else."
'What do they think of themselves? Who would protect them from titans? The military police who can't fucking stand because they're drunk? Do they think the Garrison are any better? Do they even fucking dare set a foot outside the walls? No. Then what do they think is a better use for their taxes? Assholes. Just because they work inside and pay taxes, it doesn't give them the right to treat us like shit. Paying taxes was the least they could do since they don't have the fucking gut to fight titans.'
The situation was angering me but I couldn't act upon the anger. How many people was I supposed to kill? If one disappears another mouth will spout shit.
"That's not right! We managed to beat an enemy! A very scary enemy! We beat a titan with intelligence!" One of the soldiers flexed Violet's achievements. He wasn't wrong but was it really an achievement worth the lives of so many soldiers?
"Captain Levi!" A man came up to me with a large smile. He had a small skip in his step, very different from all those jerks dissing us.
"My daughter is in your squad...I'm Petra's father." He introduced. Petra was trailing behind since she was hesitating on whether to stick to Violet or me. I didn't look in his eyes. Petra was still alive but I almost felt like I'd failed him...if Violet wasn't there to protect them, Petra would most likely be dead. I would've been responsible for her death. I didn't want to imagine how I would feel if that were to happen.
"Before she sees me, I wanted to talk to you. She sent me this letter..." He brought up a white envelope which contained the letter.
"She mentioned that you respected her abilities enough to let her join your squad. That she was gonna devote herself to you."
'Is he mistaking her respect for me to something else?'
The man had a very hesitating look. I still dared not look in his eyes.
"Well,I guess she's too starry eyed to consider how her father feels!" He fake laughed, feeling kind of awkward since I wasn't saying anything back. I just continued walking forward with Violet's and my horse.
"Well, as her father, I think it's too early for her to marry.She's still so young, with so much to exper-" He was cut off by a shout. It was Petra.
"Dad! I didn't mean devote myself to him in a marry him way! I meant I respect him and I'd wholeheartedly believe in what he had to say and do as he says!" She shouted. I exhaled in relief.
"Plus he's devoted to someone else." I side eyed her.
'She doesn't know half of what it was like between us- Okay I admit she's right.'
"Commander Erwin! Answer us!" The crowd continued screaming.
"Captain Levi, I'm so sorry for just assuming something like that. I was wrong." Petra's father bowed to me as Petra just glared at him.
"It's alright." I replied simply. I know I had very minimal manners but I knew to respect innocent people who were older than me.
"Did this expedition learn enough to justify the number of dead?"
'Quite frankly, no. We didn't even get close to learning anything with that bitch securing herself in an unbreakable crystal ball.'
"Do you think the dead have no regrets?" I always tell people to choose the path that they'll regret least, but no one knows so they tend to think it would've been better if they'd chosen the other choice. I am the same. They too must've been the same.
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Violet's POV
It was dark, and I was scared. Did I even wakeup? Did I die? Or was I asleep? I felt someone stroking my hair softly, and I laughed, little lights floating around in my headspace. I saw Levi far away. I slowly trudged towards him, I felt like there was something stopping me from reaching him. However, I tried, I walked, and walked. My feet continued to accelerate, in a matter of seconds, I was sprinting towards Levi. But I never reached him, every step I took, Levi got further away. I stopped and looked around. A completely white room with absolutely no stains. No objects or people other than Levi and I. I turned back to see Levi running in the opposite direction.
"Wait! Wait for me!!!" I begged, but he didn't stop. I slid to the ground, I was alone once again. Someone was screaming in the distance, and I turned my head around. It was Levi again...
"Ahem..Levi, weren't you just...over there..? Were you leaving me behind?" Tears streamed down my face, and I lowered my head, ashamed to be crying in front of him. I wiped away the tears quickly so he wouldn't see it.
"It's never me who leaves..." Levi hit me on the head. He turned away, walking the way he came.
"Please come back. Please..." My arm was being nudged by something I couldn't see.
I opened my eyes, breathing heavily. My chest rose up and down as my eyes spun around wildly.
'Why was I in the infirmary!?'
My wrist stung with pain as my abdomen was throbbing. Then it hit me...I had fainted after my fight with the female titan. I touched my aching abdomen as it only got more painful.
"Oww.." And next to me was Levi. He was in his cleaning uniform. As I turned to him,I saw him instantly turn his head away from me.
"Heh...Captain Levi...did you forget to take your uniform off..? Heehee..." I giggled weakly, trying to convince him and myself that I was fine. Levi's brows furrowed.
"Well, I was cleaning the infirmary, and decided to visit you since four eyes asked me to -"He tried to explain. I just looked at him. The way he looked away while lying. How his features looked so much softer than the last time I'd seen him. I just loved how he tried to explain even though he didn't have to. I had missed him. I don't know why it took so long to realise...but I missed him a lot.
"I'm sorry." I interrupted him.
"Huh?"
"I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly." Levi seemed speechless. He hadn't expected me to be so up front about it. "Kenny knew my father, and you know how badly I wanted to find him...Kenny wanted me to stay in the underground so he lied to me saying dad was in the underground, but I knew he was lying. So I thought there was a chance he was above ground. I wanted to come up here and I got the chance when Kieth Shadis invited me up. I told them, I needed some time and they gave me until sun down. I tried to find you the whole day but you were no where. I thought I could probably come back to see you...but I got really busy with everything going on. I got a day off on your birthday and went down to the underground but I couldn't find you, so...I left the underground again and started working harder. And as you know...I had an accident and I was paralysed. So I couldn't come back even if I wanted." I looked down to my injury, not able to look Levi in the eyes. He still said nothing. I had kept many details from Levi, he didn't need to know them. I felt my heart drop to my stomach as I remembered the horrors I had faced back then. The pain I felt...I didn't even want to remember...but I had many scars to remind me of it. Over and over again.
"I know it just sounds like an excuse but it's true and I genuinely feel guilty for leaving you behind...I'm sorry. You probably think I don't-" I was cut off by Levi gently putting his hand on my head.
"Shhhh...I get it. Just rest for now." He said, shushing me. I assumed I wasn't forgiven yet since he didn't say anything.
"You did good on the expedition...but did you have to stay back? Knowing that you could die?" I evaded his eyes, unsure of what to say.
"Well- At least the squad would be safe..." I trailed,I regretted saying anything at all, when I was met with a bonk to my head.
"And what about you?" He asked, eyes squinted.
"If I didn't stay back, she'd catch up and there'd be a risk that all of us would die...isn't only one casualty better than that of many?" I asked.
"You're doing it again..." He said, rather angry. He pulled his hand back from my head, and clenched them into a fist.
"What am I doing again...?" I asked confused. He looked me right in the eyes.
"Undermining your own health and safety for the sake of others. You're not some sacrificial lamb...you're a human, treat yourself like one." And with that, he tried to walked out, limping.
"Capt-" I was cut off by Levi...
"Shut up. Stop acting like I'm your superior, I'm not." He snapped, glaring at me. I didn't react to what he said but kept it in mind.
"Are you hurt?" I asked worriedly.
"I'm fine." He replied stiffly,I'm sure he knew that I cared. It must've been the fact that I realised that made him react in such way.
"You were limping." I stated the obvious.
"Hmm...I twisted my ankle when trying to save the girl who's always clinging to Yeager." He replied. I chuckled at his choice of words but I was still worried. I hated feeling helpless. If I wasn't hurt, I could immediately get him checked up but I couldn't even sit up properly.
"Have you got it checked?" I asked, slightly sitting up against the bed, hissing when the pain was too much. Tears stung my eyes but I kept it in. Levi came back and helped me sit up properly.
"Thank you..." I muttered.
"But did you get your ankle checked?" I asked him, which he shook his head.
"You should get it checked." I told him with a soft tone.
"I'll get it checked later...I have to go see Erwin for now." He dismissed the subject, but I was more stubborn and he knew it.
"We're at an infirmary, it doesn't take time, please get yourself checked..." I told him, still my voice was soft, and did not seem forceful at all.
"Tch. It's fine for now, I just need to rest." I stared at him with a 'really' face.
"Just get yourself checked...or are you scared of the nurse?" I asked, somewhat mocking him. He was.
In our younger days when we went to the nurse because Levi had gotten hurt. It'd been the nurse's son Levi had beat up, so she was extremely mad. She gave him meds that did more harm than good. He had diarrhoea for days. He also had a fever for a week or so because of medicine being too much for his body to handle.
"I'm not scared of them-" I cut him off.
"Then go get it looked over." I told him once again, a bit annoyed. He couldn't still have been scared of nurses.
"Tch." I was so done with his stubborn act. I knew how to break it. I prepared to get out of my bed, cursing and groaning in pain.
"Hey! What are you doing!?" Levi shouted worriedly, running towards me to stop me. I guess I could say I was an expert at the art of manipulation. Wait- that's not good.
"Calling a nurse to get you checked...it's not like you'll go by yourself. I'll call them here instead." Levi held my shoulders to stop me from moving any more.
"Let me go and get them." I tried to push Levi out of the way, fully aware he was not going to move.
"Violet." He said patiently, hoping I'd give up. You wish.
"Are you going to get it looked at or not?" I asked. He exhaled an annoyed sigh.
"Will you or not?" I repeated. He opened his mouth to retort until I cut him to it.
"Levi. Are you going or not?" I asked more sternly, using his name only.
"No-" I glared at him.
"Tch." He turned around and left.
"Where are you going?" I asked preparing to go behind him but he showed me a sign to stop.
"I'll help you." He said and helped me walk to my bed. Once I was properly covered up, warm and cozy, he started walking out.
"Wait...where are you actually going?" I asked once again.
"You want me to go see the nurse or not?" He said with a blank expression.
"Oh...Sorry." He left right after. I smiled at my small accomplishment.
I sighed and looked out the window. I was alone and bored already. I wondered how I stayed sane for the 10 years I spent in a hospital bed. Those 10 years were the most relentless years I had. I wasn't busy, I had all the time in the world, to do whatever I wanted...but what always came to mind was...
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