Every days.
For two weeks.
A whole fortnight.
She had seen him every day of the past weeks. In every corner of the castle, waving from the other side of one hallway, naturally in class, or laughing with his friends during meals in the Great Hall. Sometimes, she even imagined that she was subject to hallucination, on the grounds that she felt like she was seeing him everywhere. Not by will, of course, why would she? Why on this magical earth would Cassandra Delage see the great Sirius Black everywhere?
First of all, he was an arrogant, cocky, disrespectful boy. Way to sure of himself to her liking. Second of all, he was a well-known man whore, as Remus liked to call it, and Cassandra had the weird feeling, even she couldn't have confirmation, that he was only trying to speak to her just to get into her pants. Even though she hadn't seen him around girls that much for the last weeks, if not at all. Third and last of all, she couldn't, as she was repeating herself again and again for the last fortnight, become friend, or even acquaintance, with Sirius Black, or any other people for that matter. Strict rule that she had problems dealing with.
Indeed, Cassandra wasn't totally indifferent to the boy's presence. Surely, he was probably more getting on her nerves than anything else, but she sometimes couldn't help a small smile crossing her lips when he was cracking a joke or desperately tried way too much to flirt with her. A smile that she, needless to say, hid behind a cough or a wave of her hair. And even when she was arguing with him, she enjoyed it. It never was a typical argument, like she could have from time to time with her aunt or her friends, it was more electrical. Cassandra liked the sense of control that she could get from those meaningless fights, and the rush that she felt cursing through her body, invigorating her brain. At first, she didn't bother to argue long enough with the boy to felt it, she was just pushing him away, but now that he seemed to be everywhere, she had no other choice than to state clearly her disapproving feelings to Sirius Black, with the small hope, that was now more and more fading, that he would leave her alone. She hated herself for enjoying her fights with the boy, so she continued to bury every of her feelings far away from her own reach, in the hope of forgetting about these arguments and attend to her own promise of not making any more friends after Remus. She was used to bury feelings, and as for now, she never had any problems with it, as long as they never resurfaced. That is also how she could appear every day as her calm and smiley self, as everyone in the castle knew her.
For the time being, Cassandra sat on the Gryffindor bench quietly eating breakfast on this rainy Sunday morning, with only a dozen other student in the Great Hall, all split between the four tables. She had abandoned Lily, who seemed to have came back very late from her patrol last night and was still sleeping when she woke up. Letting her sleep, Cassandra had bravely withdrawn from her role of morning guard, leaving Lily and her's ritual for another day. Not that Lily minded now that her and Potter had gotten closer, if you could put it like that. On another day, she probably also would have waited for her friend to wake up, but she decided against it considering that there was today a Ravenclaw against Gryffindor match and she wanted to eat her breakfast alone in the quiet before the players and their supporters arose from their slumber.
Cassandra liked Quidditch but it was sometimes to loud for her to bear and she ended up putting a silencing charm on her ears to continue supporting Marlene, who played Beater on their House team. She thought that if the crowd wasn't that loud she would have liked more watching those games. She would have enjoyed analyzing the players' tactics, how they were chasing each other through the air like ballet dancers repeating their choreography or the feints that they were pulling on each other. The one good thing of having supporters in the stand was to see the emotions playing on their face, from overwhelming joy or admiration, passing through fear or anger. Cassandra was an observer, perhaps not as much as Remus was, because she also liked verbal rhetoric but she definitely enjoyed watching people live their own life and practicing the study of people's display of emotions, to which she was getting really good at.
One person she couldn't read that well was Regulus Black, who was now entering the Hall accompanied by his fellow friends Evan Rosier and Barty Crouch. He always seemed to block every emotions from showing onto his face, and he was the hardest person to read that Cassandra had ever encountered. Remus told her it was because he had learn ever since a child to hide everything due to his house living conditions, a subject that Remus did not care to elaborate since it wasn't his story to tell. The young Delage understood this, but was somehow still a bit curious about the Black brothers life. She only knew that Sirius lived at the Potter's house with James since fifth year, but she never had any other truthful information about this sudden change. As for Regulus, he was so much of a lonely boy that she didn't know much about him. The little part of him that she knew was only a mere consequence of the moment of their talk, where he only seemed lost and fragile, but maybe it was just an effect of her twisted imagination. She was in complete agreement with Remus on this, she shouldn't be invading the Black brothers privacy and their family's story, since she knew none of it and could only make assumption.
After five other minutes alone with her thoughts and trying to ignore the oppressive stares from the Slytherin table, Cassandra saw from the corner of her eyes the whole Gryffindor team, accompanied by Remus, Lily, Peter and Mary. They all look cheerful and the second they entered the Great Hall, all eyes were already on them. No one could deny the aura the Gryffindor players were sending all over the place, but Cassandra tried her best not to look to much, only waving at Lily and Remus. Both of them sat quietly next to her, while the rest of the team sat all around them. They all ate breakfast, Cassandra trying her best to casually avoid all the eyes fixed on her, between Sirius Black and the Slytherin group, none of that being very successful due to her lack of training in the matter.
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Lily, Remus, Cassandra and the rest of the Gryffindor house were all up on the bleachers to watch the game that had begun for now thirty minutes. They were almost all protected by transparent umbrellas covering them from the rain, that was in contrast drenching the players on the field. The commentator's voice was blasting through the pitch, alerting the public of all the new move made by the teams.
It was for the moment 60 to 40 for Gryffindor, but the rain was making the Seeker's job harder, and the game seemed to last a long time for the supporters that were trying to see something from their place.
"Look! James scored another goal!"
Remus and Cassandra were already laughing, but they now were bursting even more into laughter, because they had never seen a Lily Evans so eager to watch James Potter play. It was actually very cute to observe and the two friends were really happy that their own friend was getting closer with the other, but Lily's reaction was so much inadequate in comparison of her feelings in the past years that it became comical more than anything else.
"Merlin, you're laughing at something without me for the past fifteen minutes and I don't like it, what is it?"
Remus and Cassandra straightened their posture and masked their laughing face before turning back to their friend.
"Don't worry about that Lils, just some joke between us. A situation comedy if you please."
"Very potteresque if I might had."
And they both began to laugh seeing Lily's face becoming redder than her flaming hair.
"I- I'm not interested in James Potter."
"We would never think otherwise. But who brought you into this conversation?"
Seeing that Lily couldn't think of an answer, Remus put his hand on her shoulder.
"We won't tell a word. After all, it's your problem to deal with. I've seen enough of James in the past few years, so if you could calm him down while taking him away for a bit, it would be my pleasure."
"And I'll be more than delighted to see my best friend with a guy who respects and worships her. You deserve the best Lils."
Considering the slight tension due to their serious conversation (no pun intended), Lily tried to crack a joke.
"Well, that will happen only when Sirius will take his eyes from Cassandra, which I think will happen at the same time than pigs flying."
"You're a real joker, aren't you?"
Cassandra stuck her tongue out at her friends, while Remus snickered. They all turn back their attention to the match, the blonde girl trying her best not to focus on the soaked Gryffindor beater.
Balls were flying from hand to hand, and the score was now '110 to 80 for Gryffindor', as the Hufflepuff commentator stated. The snitch seemed nowhere to be found, and the Seekers were trying their best to find it as soon as possible, the weather conditions being awful to say the least. Cassandra focused her attention solely on the Chasers, noise filling her ears that she tried to ignore.
Ravenclaw scores.
Gryffindor takes the Quaffle back.
One pass. Two pass.
Interception.
Ravenclaw flying back to the adversary goal.
Ball stopped by the House Keeper.
Back to Gryffindor.
Gryffindor flies, dances.
Scores.
Cheers. Cheers.
Noise.
Focus.
Ravenclaw takes possession.
Fly.
Fly.
Fly.
Scores.
GOAL!
Cheers.
Humming. Buzzing. Murmuring.
NOISE.
Chaos.
Cassandra emerged from her trance, trying to focus back on the reality around her. 'This is really not the time'. Too late. Shadows. They are back. The girl focused on her breathing that was accelerating, trying to avoid all the noise. The noise. She couldn't put the Silencing charm, it was too late. Why now? 'Focus, Cassandra, focus'. Her aunt's voice rang in her head. She let the feeling sinking in, filling her entire being, she had to focus. One breath in, a longer one out. One breath in, a longer one out. One breath in, a longer one out. This is it. Shadows. They're gone. Hope no one noticed. But she still can't breath that well. One breath in, a longer one out. One breath in, a longer one out. One breath in, a longer one out.
"Cass, are you okay?"
Her head shot up, trying her best to look genuinely good.
"All fine, I'll just take five right now, I'll be back."
"Do you want us to go with you? Wait, you didn't put your Silencing charm."
"I'll be fine, don't worry. Stay and watch the game Lils."
"Are you sure?"
"I'll go with her if you prefer Lily."
Lily nodded and Remus followed Cassandra out, a hand circling her waist to support her until they reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Are you sure you're okay? I know it sounds like the dumbest question, but you could barely stand out there. You don't have to pretend with me, and with Lily either by the way. You know my condition, so I'm pretty sure I kind of know when someone else is not feeling well, or at least pretend that he is fine-"
"Remus," she cut him off. "I'm fine, I swear. The noise was just getting too much outside."
"You never seemed to mind it before. Well, not that I know of, but I would have noticed if someone was leaving during the match."
"I'm often putting a silencing charm over my ears to cover the noise. I love to watch Quidditch but I can't stand the noise it creates. It was particularly laborious today with the rain thumping on the umbrellas."
"So, it's only the noise that was messing with you? You sure there wasn't anything else?"
She wanted to tell him, to tell him so bad. It would be such a relief. To allow herself to let that go for even one tiny moment. One tiny superficial moment. But she couldn't.
"No, nothing else. Thanks for checking in though. Means a lot. You know I'd do the same for you right?"
"I know."
Remus looked at her kindly, with still a bit of worry showing in his eyes. At the same moment, they heard the whistle notifying the end of the match. Students were coming to them by the stairs, but were swiftly stopped by a very vigorous Marlene who throw herself at Cassandra.
"WE WON!"
"And you're making me wet! I'm joking, congrats Leni!" Cassandra kissed her friend on the cheek, showing the greatest smile she could put for the moment.
"And I'm not allowed to have my own kiss?"
Cassandra rolled her eyes.
"Shove off Black."
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Remus and Cassandra were sitting on the Gryffindor common room after the party, a very drunk and asleep Peter on the couch nearby. James and Lily went for some reason on a 'patrol', Marlene mysteriously disappeared around 10pm and the rest of the Gryffindor party goers all went to sleep in their own dorms, leaving the two of them alone in the common room. The two friends were now watching Sirius stumble to the stairs, enduring every of its steps.
"I told him to not drink that much."
"Since when does the great Sirius Black listens to anyone," shot Cassandra back sarcastically.
"He listens to you actually."
"He does not. Or he would have had left me alone for quite a while now. He never listens."
"I can assure, he does it more than you think."
"And I can assure you that he doesn't. It's been weeks. Weeks that I have to bear with his crazy way of flirting, his excessive ego and a poor sense of comeback. Weeks that I tell him to stop, to leave me alone and to come back to the old ways: when he didn't even knew who I was. I need you to speak with him, because he doesn't listen to me. I swear to Merlin, I feel like I see him wherever I go."
"I don't know if I'll make a real change but I'll do what I can. But would it be so bad to have him even just as a friend?"
"Yes. Yes it would." She lied, turning away to hide herself from Remus' eyes.
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Hi!!!!
So sorry for the delay. It's now kind of crazy and in addition, I'm posting this chapter at 11pm.
Anyway, kind of long (I think?) chapter, hope you'll like it.