"Ready to go?" He said.
"Yes! Let's go."
Close together, we made our way past the cherry blossom tree. We walked down the path in sync and harmony with only the changes around us to observe. The sprouts rise from the soil, the weather warms up, and the spring finally makes its warm welcome. We were conversing normally, talking about this and that.
"By the way, I saw you and the cast members rehearsing with your costumes on," I smirked.
"You did? That's.." He scratched his neck. I notice that he does it when he's nervous.
"You all looked nice! For medieval characters." I snickered.
"The designer is a first-year student, Aiya."
"Really?"
"Yes. She was known in her middle school for being a great designer."
"That's amazing! I'm so happy to hear that for her."
"You remember the literature competition in our first year?"
"What about it?"
"Her passion for designing reminds me of your passion for poetry. Especially when you read it out loud."
Clearing my throat, I felt weird. As I was going to thank him, what felt like a whirl in my stomach stopped me. That whirl had me take a second to properly understand. He felt embarrassed since I didn't respond.
"Oh, um. I'm sorry. That came off unusual. Wasn't what I'd meant to say. Sorry." He bluntly said.
Stopping at the front gate, I looked at him and placed a soothing touch on his palm. I do remember learning that someone's touch calms the racing nerves of the human nervous system, he seemed pretty nervous.
"Don't apologize, Wakatoshi. It was my fault I didn't respond, I took a second to think of what you said. I should thank you for that. I never thought anyone paid attention to my poetry in the past years. From what I saw on the podium, everyone looked like they'd been wanting to leave as soon as the bell rang."
"You should know that's not true. Not entirely."
"How so? It's not like anyone wanted to listen to someone going on and on reading off a paper and then getting an award among the contestants. Especially when that same person goes up there every year."
He shook his head in disagreement.
"Oh come on. Who would've honestly preferred sitting and listening over going out to break?" That was our climax, the tension was practically polluting the air.
"I did." He blurted.
There was a moment of silence that soothed the tension before I told him to come in so we can go through with our final lesson over two months. Thankfully, no one unexpectedly came home like last time. We walked in and we both went to get changed, the usual. Ever since I got it, I'm still wearing the necklace Wakatoshi gifted me. I think of it as a gift that mended all that's between us since we were little, something that brings us closer together.
While he was upstairs changing, I remembered my flower bed in the backyard. I left everything and went to water the flowers.
"Hana?" Wakatoshi searched the kitchen, I was still watering the sprouts. I wasn't paying attention though.
He came forward to the door, and he was going to say something but stopped short. Still, I was fixing the dirt that surrounded the sprouts. After finally making sure they were sitting nicely and were water, I took the time to pay attention to why he stopped in his tracks a second ago. He hasn't said anything after all. He looks quite shocked at the sight. I don't know if it's the flowerbed or the garden itself, or even the hills behind. Was there any dirt on my shirt?
"This is.." He whispered.
"Did you get Déjà vu?"
"What's that?"
Standing up, I walked over to him and stood next to him.
"Déjà vu is a sensation you feel as if you've already lived this moment. In a way, it's like a flashback. Except you already know the exact look of what you're seeing."
"I've already lived this moment though."
"What do you mean?"
"I've been here before, in the past. I was just surprised at the sight, never thought I'd see it again. Things look very different."
I rushed passed him and grabbed our materials.
"Come on!" I ran up the little hill.
"Where are we going?"
"Where do you think?"
I went up behind the tree and took a seat, laying the materials down.
Walking up, he spoke calmly.
"Is the little lavender flower still there?"
"I wish it was." I looked over at the spot where we once found it as he took a seat beside me, it was still marked and dented.
"Why don't you plant any lavenders in your flower bed? They are your favorite after all."
"I've tried, they never bloom. Barely make it past germinating. I think it's an issue in the soil but I'm not sure. I get my lavender from the old woman next door when I visit her every week. I want to go visit her since I'll be busy this week. Want to join me? She loves company."
"I'm not sure she'll like me being there, I'm not someone usually there like you."
"Don't you worry, she isn't the cranky kind." I laughed.
"If you insist."
We left the material in the yard and after I got cleaned up, we walked to her close house. I rang the doorbell and she opened the door with a peek.
"Well if it isn't my favorite visitor. Come in, come in!"
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Sasaki!"
We walked into her little home and took a seat.
"Mrs. Sasaki, this is a good friend of mine, Wakatoshi."
"Welcome welcome." She looked overjoyed to see us take a seat.
I see her as my very own grandmother, but she isn't.
"How have you been? I'm so sorry I forgot to visit last week, I had lots to do."
"It's okay, dear. My daughter has been coming more frequently since she's back in town so I haven't been lonely." She patted my hand.
Mrs. Sasaki lives on her own.
She had a husband and they lived in Aomori, where they raised their daughter after they were wed at a young age.
With time, they reached their thirties with their daughter still in her teenage years when her husband fell ill. He did work a job with long hours, it was no wonder he got tired. They took great care of him. Even though they did their best and so did the hospital care, he didn't make it past the age of 35.
So, she moved with her daughter to Miyagi to live in her parent's house that they left behind for her. She continued to be a single mother while still mourning her beloved husband. She became a physics teacher in a high school to support them and save for her daughter's education which ended up being in Tokyo, far from her. Her daughter ended up moving there for the time she's studying but she's back in town temporarily for a break. She's been through a lot, quite a strong woman to look up to.
"That's delightful to hear." I felt relieved.
There was some light catching up and Wakatoshi seemed very happy talking to her.
"Tell me, Wakatoshi. What brought you here today? It's lovely having a new guest."
"Hana tutors me after school, she insisted I come by."
"Ah, I see. Are you the Ushijima son?" Since Mrs. Sasaki's been here for a while, she's familiar with the clans and families of the prefecture.
"Yes, I am."
"My, you look so much like your mother."
"How do you know her, Mrs. Sasaki?" I asked.
"She was a student of mine, back in the day."
"Really?" He looked surprised.
"Oh yes yes! She was one of my physics students."
"That's quite the coincidence. Small world, isn't it?" I laughed.
We were surrounded by positivity and happiness. Mrs. Sasaki is a very bright woman.
After some time, she stood up saying:
"I'll go make us some tea for our guest."
Wakatoshi quickly stood up.
"Please don't tire yourself, Mrs. Sasaki."
"He's right, we just came by to see you. We've got lots of studying to do."
She sweetly smiled.
"Oh, it's time for my afternoon medicine. Would grab it for me, Hana?"
"Yes of course." I took her arm and led her to her bedroom before handing her the medicine and a glass of water I prepared. I could've sworn I saw Wakatoshi stare but he stepped outside for a bit before walking back in.
"We'll be off now," I said softly.
"Thank you, Mrs. Sasaki," Wakatoshi said.
"Come again, dears!"
We walked out the door and though it was subtle, it was like even the color on Wakatoshi's face changed. Not the gloomier colors. I could tell he's social internally, though he doesn't show it. We walked back into the backyard and began working under the tree.
"All right! Let's do this!" I cracked a knuckle. Our work commenced.
We began working in literature, his big test was in two days and today was our final lesson. We went over word exercises then poems and a bunch of other practices for a good hour. Then, I gave him the hardest passage I prepared back in January before we began. Luckily, Wakatoshi gained the skill and he was able to complete it successfully. After I checked it, it was all correct.
"You did it!" I threw my arms up. He looked pretty stoked.
"I did?"
"Yes!! You did it!"
"It's all thanks to you, I wouldn't have been here without you Hana." He exclaimed.
I laughed at his proud expression as we looked at the breathtaking hill view behind the fence. He looked like a child who finally achieved a goal. It's safe to say that the view changed, it didn't look as dark and uninviting. The feeling it gave also changed with a new memory now placed in my mind. It gave me a happier feeling, no longer reeking of regret.
After that, we worked on his play. It was coming up, in a week or two. He was reciting the lines that he'd memorized but he skipped the last part oddly.
We continued working and dancing around, also part of the play. I turned on some classical music, nothing extravagant. Only what I thought we would both enjoy.
We began playing the roles of the medieval characters that were at a ball. He insisted I took the female lead and after some time, we just continued dancing and spinning around like snickering fools.
Laughter was all we could hear. Joy was in the air. We continued spinning and swinging in our abnormal nature, but we both appreciated it. We liked being ourselves, reliving our past, and by doing so, mending it slowly. He spun me around, then settled his arm around my waist, taking my other hand into his and holding it in the air. There was an instance where I almost stepped on the flower bed and another where he almost dropped me, but we laughed through it as we swayed.
We continued dancing as I taught him the proper dancing etiquette of that era. I still made sure to keep a distance. It was amusing watching him learn. We took it slow and steady, even though the clock was running fast.
During a slow dancing period, in which we were still keeping our distance, I looked at the sun setting. We were still swaying and adapting to this stance, more comfortable as we go.
There was a tiny sliver of light still grasping onto the time pulling it away as it shone on his temple. It also grazed past the front of his eyes, barely peering through. It was enough to make his eyes shine while gaining my attention his eye color. It was a canvas with colors splashed on it. There were thin lines of a very light brown right around the pupil, going outwards. Soon, the light was pulled away. It didn't stop me from still searching for those little lines and details until the music ended.
The medieval characters were merely masks hiding the enthusiastic figures we stood as. You would think Wakatoshi's a phlegmatic boy with no real talent and only a strong physique leading his sports career. With these two months passing by, the calm facade on his face slowly dissolved, revealing his true side. He isn't some bully, he's quite a social person. He might not talk much, but he can socialize differently. Through his actions.
When we acted as Bernadette and August, we were only reciting their lines. But reality inevitably made our true characters shine through, we were Hana and Wakatoshi. We couldn't change that.
We wrapped up the tutoring lesson pretty nicely before sitting before the flower bed. I didn't know what to say, I thought the moment spoke for itself.
I was still sinking into the colors washing up on the sky's surface, admiring them. They effortlessly blended into a shade of peach pink and sand yellow and I soaked in the view. I felt Wakatoshi looking at me with my head lifted toward the sky but I didn't mind, his presence was never a bother to me. He continued to look so I helped him take notice of the view before it was gone.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
He continued to look at me and responded.
"Yes." After that, he turned to see the sky.
We sat in more silence.
"Thank you, Hana." He said.
"I-"
"No. Not just for teaching me literature, but for, everything."
"Literature is one thing you taught me. I don't believe there is a possible amount of words to describe how much I've changed from the day we began these lessons until now. In January, I was, well, you saw. Mainly I was stoic looking. I am still stoic looking but I'm working on that." We laughed lightly.
I never knew he could be this expressive, he's usually summarizing his thoughts.
"The point is, I wouldn't have been here without your effort."
"Your words are very kind, thank you. Believe it or not, I also think that you taught me many things." I beamed with happiness at what we've achieved, whether it was skills or gratitude, it was all amazing.
He stood up and we walked back inside where he gathered his things. As he walked out the door, he turned to me.
He put on his shoes at the front door as I put some worksheets into his schoolbag to work on before the exam individually.
He stood up and I handed his bag to him with the nostalgia corroding all my other emotions. I opened the door and he walked out, but he quickly turned back around.
"Thank you for everything, m'lady." He sarcastically said with a bow like a gentleman he acted as, the elegant August. He briskly tucked a flower in the hair behind my right ear before moving a strand away from my face. He laughed with a wave and left.
I closed the door. Was he acting? There wasn't a part in the play about a flower. Or was it his little way of showing gratitude? That feels right.
He couldn't use words, so he used actions instead. I wondered why I felt my heart swelling up, and my face heating up too. He is changing as he mentioned. I was too busy remembering his enlightened face as he walked away and overthinking every word I said until I looked into the mirror and at my necklace. The words he said rang in my ears once again.
"Thank you for everything, m'lady."
In a matter of seconds, I finally noticed the flower in my hair. It matched my necklace. Mrs. Sasaki was almost done growing them, but how on earth did he get it from her? Could it have been from somewhere else?
The lavender sat back, entwined in my hair.
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Author: Finally back!! I'm so excited to write again since my exams are over and I'm finally free!! I'm super super super happy, summer's here!! :)