I was startled by the sound of raised voices. I scampered from my bed and picked up my robe as I went, securing it around me as I clamoured down the stairs. It was easy to follow the raised voices, and it wasn't long until I found myself in the foyer, stilling at the bottom of the steps.
It wasn't often that Lissa and Andre fought, but this fight seemed to be the one to beat the band.
"I can say yes if I choose to!"
"Not if I say no!"
"You're not the one being married!" Lissa exclaimed, throwing her hands out to the side.
"And that's true, but I will not allow this," Andre returned firmly. I felt my brows rise as I watched the two argue. I could see Lissa's anger the longer it went on, and by the flush of her cheeks, I could tell she was close to tears.
"It's my life, Andre."
"And as the head of this family, I decide who is suitable for marriage. He is not," Andre snapped, "You will marry Christian Ozera when I am cold in the ground."
Lissa's chest rose and fell rapidly as her breath laboured, her jaw working the slightest bit as she gritted her teeth. Lissa never liked being told what she couldn't and couldn't do, but I understood where both were coming from.
Andre wanted to protect the reputation of his family, but Lissa wanted to marry someone of her choice. If she wanted to marry Christian, she would be determined to do it. Andre and Lissa were too similar in their stubbornness, and I hated being caught in the middle of it. Even if I didn't get into the middle of it by choice.
"Christian proposed?" I pipped up. Lissa looked away from Andre and met my gaze. The tip of her nose was pink, as were her cheeks and chest.
"Not yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was soon," she said with certainty.
"And you will not accept it," Andre bit out, making Lissa's head snap towards him again.
"And what's to say you can stop that. If I say, it's binding."
"Not if I don't provide your dowery. You will not marry someone like that. That is final!" Andre stated before turning and heading out to his study, closing the door firmly behind him. I stepped off the final step and went to her side. I had noticed that she gravitated towards Christian more and more lately, but I didn't think it got that far.
"Liss?"
"He can't do that," Lissa whispered quietly, but we both knew that he could. For Lissa's dowery to get paid Andre had to be agreeable to the marriage. He made it clear just now that he wouldn't pay it and wouldn't agree to the marriage. If Lissa did accept the marriage regardless, she would be disowned. Not to mention the scandal it would cause.
A part of me wished she would rebel, but the part of me that knew how much family meant to her, and how important Andre was to her, hoped that she would head Andre's warning.
No matter how much she wanted Christian.
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The further into the summer we got, the higher the temperatures rose. Most of the women around me would quietly complain about it, but I loved it. I loved the heat, and I loved the feeling of the sun's rays on my skin.
Lissa seemed to have a harder time with the heat than I was, opting to stay under the shade of her parasol while I stayed under the rays.
"You're going to go red like you did last year," Lissa tsked as she fanned herself.
"So?" I asked leaning back against the raised seat behind me, "Maybe I like going red."
"I don't think it's very good for you," Lissa mused but I gave her an indulging look and closed my eyes, sighing at the warmth.
Constantinople was warm like this in the spring. But the air didn't smell the same here. There the air had a hit of spice to it the closer you were to the markets.
"Eddie raced well today," Lissa said a few moments later. I smiled and nodded. Eddie had raced tremendously. He was a hair shy of crossing the finish line first, but he did very well, so hid his horse. Chester was a good horse and always raced well. It was just a chance that he didn't come first today.
"There was a lady who seems to have an eye for him," Lissa giggled and laughed, while I opened my eyes and looked at her.
"Eddie courting the sister of the Grand Duke. I can see why Viktoria is interested in him. He's a good match."
Lissa nodded and twirled the rod of her parasol as she nodded, a look of thought on her face.
"But you never..."
I shook my head. "It would be the same as looking at Andre like that. He's nothing more than a dear and cherished friend.
The thought had crossed my mind once. I knew what kind of man Eddie was, the man that he would become. He came from a good family with good morals, and good standing in society. I also knew that he would have treated me well, but I could never see past him being the boy who cleaned my scraped knees in the stream.
He was always going to be another brother to me. I wouldn't be able to see past that in a way that he deserved from a wife.
"The race was fantastic! Would you not agree?"
Lissa and I both looked in front of us and found Viktoria standing before us. I smiled and nodded at her.
"It was a lovely race."
Viktoria gestured to the seat in front of me and I nodded, indicating that she was free to take it. She sat down gracefully and placed her hands in her lap, toying with the wrist-length gloves on her hands. I remembered when I started wearing them, only a year younger than Viktoria was now.
They were itchy the first handful of times, but after a while, they weren't too bad. Thought Viktoria seemed to be pulling at the fastening around her wrist. Lissa noticed it too and smiled.
"Leave the top button unfastened in the hot weather," Lissa whispered kindly.
"Is that not improper?"
"It can be, but when it's hot like this, leave the top one unbuttoned."
Viktoria nodded and forced her hands to be still in her lap. I smiled at her sympathetically when a shadow casted over us. I knew from the size of the shadow who it was, and I shielded my eyes as I looked up.
"Your Grace," I smiled.
Dimitri nodded and took off the hat that adorned his head. I thought it was ridiculous looking, but society dictated what we wore in the summer. So, we had to play our part, or rather, dress our part.
"Ladies. Lovely day," he said and I wanted to roll my eyes at him. I stood up from the seat on the benches and he extended his hand to help me climb down the raised benches.
"Will you be attending the Caster's dance tonight?" I asked Viktoria, but my question was really directed at Dimitri. I flashed my eyes up at me when my feet touched the ground before looking at Viktoria again.
"My brother and I will be in attendance, and so will my sister Karolina and my mother," Viktoria said with a smile, her cheeks flushing. I smirked to myself and made a mental note to make sure Eddie saves a dance for Viktoria.
"Karolina?" I asked as I pulled my hand out of Dimitri's despite wanting to keep it there. There was something strangely comforting about having my hand engulfed in his. It was almost a sense of fulfillment or completion that was confusing to me.
I had only known the man for a few weeks, and never entertained the idea of really exploring our interactions further. Well, entertained the idea out loud. There was a night when I had dreamed of a man that looked like him, just a man smiling down at me in the sun.
It was a bit of a daydream, but it made me smile and flush, nonetheless.
"She's our eldest sister," Viktoria said with a smile, "She's visiting with her husband, Victor."
"Well," I said with a smile, "I'm sure it will be a lovely evening."
Viktoria nodded eagerly before looking at her brother. "We should be leaving soon if we are to prepare for the evening. I'm sure Karolina will already be waiting for us."
Dimitri nodded and bid Lissa and I goodbye before guiding Viktoria away. Lissa smiled at me and closed her parasol, laying it across her lap.
"What are you going to wear?" Lissa asked, "You have many dresses you've yet to wear this season."
I snorted a laugh. "Lissa; it's the first of July. The summer has only started."
Lissa smiled at me with a tilt of her head. "Humor me."
I shrugged and stood up, dusting my skirt off. "I don't know yet."
Lissa grumbled because she knew I wasn't going to answer her yet. She stood up too and wrapped her arm through mine as we walked. I smiled at her to cheer her up, knowing deep down that I would let her dress me up in any way she wanted if it made her happy.
After the morning we had, she needed the cheering up.
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There was a bitter feeling deep in my chest that I didn't recognize. I had been introduced to Mrs. Karolina Dashkov and while I thought she was lovely, her husband was anything but. Where Karolina was young and beautiful, with brown hair with caramel running through it and a kind smile. Seeing her, her mother, Viktoria, and Dimitri together, they all looked alike. Their kindness radiated through them. Viktor, on the other hand, seemed like a snake, but not the same in the sense people would call my father.
I wouldn't put it past Victor to be inappropriate with other women, and I knew that if Dimitri had anything to do with Karolina's arrangement, he never would have let her be matched with a man like him.
But the bitter feeling wasn't just because of Lord Dashkov, but rather Miss. Ozera.
I knew I had no claim over Dimitri but seeing the two interact made something in my chest stir and tighten. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't like the things I had heard about her, but maybe it was simply the things I didn't want to admit to myself about Dimitri.
I was distracted enough that when Lord Zeklos approached me, it took a moment for me to notice him.
"I don't know if I should be insulted that it took you this long to notice I had spoken to you," Lord Zeklos laughed, running his hand through his hair. I laughed to myself and looked down for a moment.
"I apologize, Lord Zeklos. My mind is in many places tonight," I offered but he smiled and shook his head.
"No need. I could understand why you would be distracted," he replied with a wink, tipping his chin outward. I knew where he was indicating, and I pointedly did not look in the direction of Dimitri and Miss Ozera dancing.
"Why do you say that?"
Lord Zeklos winked again but didn't elaborate, instead offering me his arm. Taking it silently, I followed him onto the dance floor.
Lord Zeklos was a fine dancer and I didn't mind his company either. If it weren't for his name, I'd enjoy his company even more. He didn't seem to be much like Jesse, and he carried himself differently. He was charming and confident, but he didn't make me feel uncomfortable like Jesse did.
"Have you met anyone that you fancy yet this summer?" I asked idly, trying to make conversation. I assumed that he was in search of a wife, or simply following along with his friend to tease him.
"I have, but it's not reciprocated. Alas, she is interested in my friend," Lord Zeklos said and I raised my brows at him and tilted my head.
"Oh? And who may that be?"
Lord Zeklos laughed and pulled me a little closer to avoid colliding with another dancer before stepping back.
"I think you know. The only bold woman in the room," he said with a smirk on his lips.
I rolled my eyes and he laughed again, making me laugh too.
"You flatter me," I continued.
"That is my duty," he said and I shook my head at him. "Honestly. Although to be fair, I find comfort in your company. I was not as close with Aslan as Dimitri and Andre were, but we were still friends. He would be very proud of the woman you have become."
I hummed. "And yet you hardly know me."
"I know that you purchased a medicine for a family that couldn't afford it, out of the kindness of your heart," he said meeting my eyes.
I swallowed and nodded. I hadn't thought anyone other than Pipa had known that.
"She needed it," I said quietly and gave him a look, silently asking for him to keep it to himself.
Ivan smirked again and changed the subject to something monotonous, but appropriate for the event. While I was polite, my gaze kept falling back towards the tall man across the room. But now instead of conversing, they were dancing.
I downcast my eyes and brought my attention back to my dancing partner. But by that point, our dance had come to an end.
"Maybe the third room on the left may soothe you," Lord Zeklos whispered in my ear before departing. I was confused by his words but bowed my head politely and stepped off the dance floor. I stopped and spoke to Andre for a few moments, and then Eddie and Viktoria, before making my way to the hall.
It was wide and white, but I made my way down and found the room Lord Zeklos was speaking of. When I stepped in, I immediately knew what he meant. The room was filled with artwork of all sorts. A pianoforte stood in the corner of the room, while paintings filled the walls. There were scalped pieces too, but the whole room was soothing.
Maybe I'd hide here for the rest of the evening.
At least I knew what feel when looking at art. I was never blindsided or surprised by it. I knew the feeling well, and t rarely changed.
"You are a true vision."
I smiled to myself and turned my head. "Thank you," I replied softly.
Dimitri smiled at me as he approached, one hand tucked into his pocket. A part of me knew that we needed to stop meeting like this, in hallways and gardens without a chaperon, but I liked having time alone with him.
I didn't need to pretend to be someone else and neither did he. We got the opportunity to be ourselves with people who understood. We had a shared loss that brought us closer.
"Blue is flattering on you," he said gesturing to my dress. I smiled and fiddled with my skirt for a moment. Lissa wanted to be bold, or wanted me to be bold, and picked a dress that I had had for a while. It was a dark blue, almost like the colour of the skin when the sun finally slipped beyond view. The neckline was modest and the sleeves rested on the edge of my shoulders.
It was beautiful, but a part of me felt like it wasn't appropriate for a lady who wasn't in society, but I went with it anyways.
"Thank you," I said, "Do you not need to entertain Miss. Ozera?" I continued with a smirk.
Dimitri laughed and shook his head, a few strands of hair falling from where he had his hair tied at the base of his neck.
"No. My mother can take care of that," he said with a smirk. "I'm not surprised to find you in here. The artwork is exquisite."
I hummed to myself and clasped my hands together, my small clutch swaying on my writs.
"I thought you had three sisters," I voiced to Dimitri as I had only met two while looking up at the paintings in the room. They were beautiful and I was always astonished at how some of the best work could be simply conjured up in our minds.
"I do. Karolina, Sonya, and Viktoria."
"And your sister, Sonya? She didn't come for the season?"
Dimitri cleared his throat and kept in step with me. "Sonya was recently widowed. It wouldn't be appropriate."
I turned to him and frowned. "It seems like this year has brought great loss to your family. I'm sorry."
Dimitri shook his hand and quirked his lips. "Sadly, the losses have been a better gain."
"Why do you say that?"
"Sonya was widowed only three months after her marriage. And between you and I, I'm glad. He wasn't a good man."
"If he wasn't a good man, why did your father allow the nuptials?" I piped, studying a piece of work that looked much like the fields behind my estate home.
"Why are any undesirable nuptials allowed?"
I blinked and turned to look at Dimitri again, my brows furrowing and my lips pouted.
"I can only think of one reason," I said quietly, feeling sadness creep into my chest. Dimitri's face was impassive, but the look in his eyes told me the truth.
"So Sonya..."
"Was unfortunate. She wasn't lucky to have someone stand for her at the time of the incident. She also did not have your instincts to run."
"And she had to marry him."
"Of course. He ruined her. She is with child. It was the only way to protect her reputation," he said quietly, "I wish it wasn't, but it was the only way."
"Was that why you were so angry that night?" I asked quietly, meaning the night in the garden with Jesse. Dimitri stepped towards me and the corners of his lips twitched. He sighed and reached his hand up, carefully catching a curl that came loose from my pins.
He rubbed the strand between his fingers for a moment, his eyes trained on the strands.
"I would hate to see someone else I care about go through the same fate," he said quietly before tucking the curl behind my ear. A small smile crept to my lips when his fingers brushed my ear. His hand lingered for a moment, coming to rest on my cheek for a moment.
"Someone like me?"
"You are someone that I have come to care for," he whispered, "Someone I care for very much."
I smiled and leaned into his hand, closing my eyes. His hand was warm and calloused but soft at the same time. I knew from Viktoria that he did work with the horses at their estate, but it was odd to think of a man of his standing with calloused hands.
It made me more attracted to him.
But the remembrance of where we were made me pull back from him with a small smile.
"We should return to the party. We wouldn't want anyone to think that we're being indecorous," Dimitri said while clearing his throat. I cleared my throat to and laughed, taking his arm as he offered it.
I took it and walked with him, fighting the grin on my lips. As we walked through the hall I furrowed my brows when the flash of a dress caught my eye. I stopped which made Dimitri still as well.
"What is it?" He asked.
I let go of his arm and gestured for him to wait as I walked toward one of the drawing rooms. I knew the dress but was confused about why Lissa would be away from the party. I hurried towards the doorway and was met with something I couldn't really understand. I didn't think Lissa would ever do something that would put her virtue at risk.
"Lissa!" I exclaimed.
Lissa jumped back from Christian, but the damage was done. If anyone else had come in here, her reputation would be ruined. Something as small as a kiss could do that. All I could think of was that at least it wasn't Andre who discovered them.
Christian looked between us and his posture changed. I held my hand up with a huff, turning my attention to Lissa.
"We're going. Now."
"Rose."
"Lissa. Don't. We're leaving," I said firmly, stalking towards her and gripping her wrist tightly. I tugged her alone and I could hear Christian follow behind us. I burst back into the main hall and found Dimitri standing in the same spot I left him. His expression changed when he saw the look on my face and the look on Lissa's.
"Rose!"
In a motion I hadn't done in a long time, I spun around and let my fist shoot out, making impact with Christian's nose. It made a satisfactory crunch before I hissed and pulled my hand back, swearing under my breath.
"Why would you do that?!" Lissa exclaimed, moving to cup Christian's face while I cradled my hand. I heard footsteps before Dimitri's hands covered mine, prying my uninjured one away. I hissed in protest as he examined my hand, moving my fingers carefully.
"OW!" I cried but he gave me a look to stop squirming. I glance over and found that Christian and Lissa were gone from sight. At the moment, I really couldn't care.
"I don't think you broke it, but it will be tender," Dimitri said softly, stroking his thumb carefully over my knuckles. I looked up from our hands and met his eyes, sighing quietly. He smirked at me and brought my hand up, kissing my hot knuckles gently.
"Where did you learn to do that?"
I raised my brows at him. "Where do you think?"
Dimitri chuckled and let go of my hand, instead, resting it on my shoulder as we walked.
"Your brother."
"Yes," I said with a laugh. "Do you blame him for teaching me that?"
"Not at all. In fact, I think he rather enjoyed it. He was always one to rebel. I guess that's why I enjoyed his company. And yours."
"I do not rebel!" I retorted but I knew it was a lie.
"Aslan didn't teach you how to support your wrist thought," Dimitri said, prodding my wrist. A shock travelled up my arm and I flinched, whining quietly at the discomfort.
Dimitri gave me an apologetic look before letting go of my hand, gesturing for me to walk before him. I stepped into the main room and felt like my mood didn't match the people around me. I jumped when a hand gripped my uninjured one gently.
I whipped my head around but Dimitri was already leading me onto the floor, a determined look in his eyes. I gave him a questioning look.
"If you're dancing, you don't have time to brew on what just happened. You are too angry right now," Dimitri said quietly, his head a respectable level, but close enough to my ear not to be overheard.
I nodded and used the guise of the dance to lean into him a bit, feeling the heaviness of what I had done, what I had witnessed come over me.
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The ride home was filled with silence. On most nights, Lissa and I would talk about the event and the men she conversed with, but tonight there was nothing.
I knew that she was angry with me, and to a degree, I understood why she was angry. But at the same token, she needed to understand why I intervened.
"Why would you do that!?" Lissa shrieked, "I thought you were on my side!"
"I am, except you went and did that! Lissa, why would you do that?"
Lissa didn't say anything and breathed out noisily through her nose. She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head.
"I cannot believe you punched him! What do you think will happen when people find out?!"
"Christian can't exactly tell anyone that I was the one who punched him."
"And why is that?" Lissa asked stubbornly.
"Because then I would have to say why I did it. And then Andre would be furious with you. Your reputation would be shattered. How could you be so stupid!?"
Lissa looked at me with such hurt in her eyes. I felt horrible, but I wasn't going to let her ruin herself.
"He isn't worth it," I said softly but she glared at me.
"Right. Like you haven't been alone with the Duke. One could only question what the two of you have done on your walks alone at balls and parties."
"He's Aslan's friend," I defended but she shook her head.
"Not the way you look at him. Batting your eyes and flirting subtly. You like him, and you know that you don't have a chance with him. From what I've heard, there is someone he has his eyes on, and it's not you."
I didn't let my hurt show on my face, knowing that she was trying to hurt me. But hearing it did hurt. I wasn't naïve to think that I was what Dimitri wanted, but it didn't make matters of the heart better.
"You're trying to hurt me," I stated but Lissa scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"No. I'm being honest with you. Grow up, Rose. You don't have a chance when Natasha is in the picture."
Lissa stalked away and I felt my heart sink a little. Could Dimitri honestly be interested in Natasha? I mean, I could see why he would be, she was gorgeous and knew how to work a crowd. She was also closer to him in age than I was.
Ivan had implied that Dimitri should stay away from Natasha. But who was I to stand in between them if Dimitri had changed his mind?
He may have said he wasn't looking for a wife when we met at the beginning of the summer, but that easily could have changed. But if he had his eye on someone else, why would he continue with the casual conversation and interactions?
I sighed heavily and ran my hand through my hair, knocking the pins from it before I lifted my skirt and climbed the stairs, heading for the solace of my room.
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