The Advice Column V

By The-Advice-Column

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Mad? Conflicted? Sad? Annoyed? Angry? Heart broken? Confused? If so, check out our guidelines so we can give... More

Guidelines
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By The-Advice-Column

Advice Request
This person's best friend is not speaking to them.

Answered Submission
Hello,
In this situation, the best thing you can do is reach out to her. You have questions, she has answers. This sort of conversation is best done in private, so I suggest either texting her or asking her quietly if you can speak with her alone.

Speaking over text may be more convenient for both of you, but in person is almost always a good option if you want answers from someone. Just be careful in that situation that you're not being domineering or intimidating to get your way.

Once you enter into conversation with her, first, ask her why she stopped talking to you, and if there was anything you did to encourage that decision on her part.

You have a lot of questions, so it is best to ask in order of approachability and importance. Why she isn't talking to you anymore is an important question, and it's also an easy one to approach. It would be much more difficult for the both of you if you ask her about her feelings for you right off the bat, and in regards to the current state of your friendship, that isn't the most important question.

From there, listen to what she says, and when it feels appropriate, you can give her your own feelings on the matter. Tell her how you miss her, and you don't know why you're not talking anymore. It is good for your to get your feelings off your chest, but it is also imperative that you let her speak as well. Express your feelings, but make sure you're listening to her, and make sure you're giving her room to speak as well and not accidentally talking over her or dominating the conversation when you both have things to say.

And when she gives her response, remember that you must respect her choice even if by the end of the conversation she doesn't want to fix your relationship. That's not to say she won't, but it is good to accept and understand that things don't always play out the way we hope.

I hope this helps, love. Best friends are important people, and losing one is a painful experience.
I wish you luck!

Best,
The Advice Column Team

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