[this story has many serious topics, involving suicide, eating disorder, depression, abuse, and much more. If you're triggered easily pls don't read]
this was my one and only chance.
Don't blow it.
thats all I could think about all day.
I'm going to ruin my life if I don't do this right.
I shouldn't even be this nervous, I've gone to this school before.
this isn't kindergarten, it's the middle of my sophomore year. I'll be fine. I have friends, I'll be great.
it's the beginning of spring, my mom, brother and I just moved back into town from Indianapolis, which we've lived there since I was in the 7th grade. We left for very specific reasons, which we will come back to later.
i took my headphones off while walking into the building, it's a small town and I was still surprised to see all the familiar faces. everyone hear looked and acted the same. It was all so weird.
- "welcome back will!"
- "hi will!" all my classmates waved.
they are so welcoming and sweet, right?
wrong.
i walked to my assigned locker to hang my bag up, when my best friend I've known since we were 4, runs up to me.
- "will! You've gotten so tall! And your bowl cut is gone." max laughed hugging me.
-"you sound like my aunt." I rolled my eyes.
-"it's been so long! We've all missed you."
-"me too, where's everyone else."
-"class, you have first with me. Hurry up and grab your books so we can go!"
-"okay!"
we both walk to class, where I saw all my old friends from my childhood, they all got up to say hi to me and hug me or whatever. It felt super awkward. Especially when there was a guy sitting at the end of one table who I didn't recognize at all. he had dark, curly hair that was a little long. I only could get a glimpse of him, since he looked out the window when I noticed him looking at me. He had brown eyes and freckles, he was skinny-ish. he had the body type of a full time athlete, which I confirmed with the varsity jacket he was wearing.
I sat down next to Dustin, who used to be my favorite D&D buddy. our science teacher walked in and recognized me.
-"well, well, well. Will Byers! You're finally back. Why don't you stand and tell us about yourself. Something we don't know?"
-"no, that's not necessary." I shook my head awkwardly.
-"no, it's okay. Go on ."
i rolled my eyes and stood up from my chair and looked at my classmates, I am so fucking annoyed at this point.
-"okay, hi. I'm will. i left in the 7th grade and I'm back now, I guess? I run track, and that's pretty much it."
-"okay.. let's get started."
Dustin and I laugh about how ridiculous our science teacher is, I've always hated him.
we follow along in class, or at least he does. I still had stuff going on through my mind that just wouldn't leave.
But ill never discuss it. Not ever again.
I walked with max to lunch to our table. There were my friends, El, Lucas, and Dustin. But one other person, the guy from science.
-"Will, this is Mike. he moved here the year you left, he's our friend now."
-"hi." I smiled.
-"hey." He waved awkwardly.
he looked like he didn't want to be there, but I ignored it and got all caught up with my friends. I left out half of everything, I wasn't ready to share everything yet.
as we got our lunch, nobody noticed until we were about to throw our trays away that I didn't eat any of it.
-"why didn't you eat?" Max asked.
-"not hungry." I chuckled.
she shrugged her shoulders before talking with her friends. I sat there, suddenly uncomfortable.
I hate this feeling so much.
When your friends stop talking to you, they don't notice. It almost makes you want to scream.
It's like you're drowning and water, and nobody will help you back up to shore.