Kabanata 18: Him And Him
"Thank you."
"No, thank you, this means a lot, Mr. Maddox."
And with that, I've finally ended the call with our business partner for the business we have in Makati.
Hindi naman ako ang in-charge pero sabi ni Cerine masyado raw siyang busy para makipagusap sa business partner namin so I had to do it myself.
It was weird, I've never heard it from Cerine before.
Usually she's all in, kahit busy na busy siya o wala na siyang oras para kumain talagang all in siya, what happened to her?
I turned off the laptop and sighed, kinuha ko ang phone ko at tinext si Cerine na natapos ko na yung zoom meeting ko with Felix Nicholas Maddox.
He's the heir of his family's business in America, I heard na plano na nilang umuwi sa Pilipinas to launch a branch of their business here.
"Hello, Cerine?"
"Did he ask about me?"
"Ha?!"
Tama ba yung narinig ko o ang bilis ng sinabi ni Cerine sa'kin, sobrang bilis, as in... mabilis.
It sounded abrupt and like really, really fast. Kahit ako nagulat, 'di ko alam kung ano yung narinig ko, wow.
"Uhm... I mean..." narinig ko pa yung ubo niya bago niya ipinagpatuloy ang tanong niya.
"H-How was it?"
"It was alright, he was really nice, I asked him kung uuwi ba sila for like a vacation and they said they're still thinking about it." sagot ko naman pero naguguluhan pa rin ako sa tinanong niya kanina.
"W-Well, that's good. Make sure to keep me up if they want to talk to you again, alright?"
"Yeah..."
Woah, did I just hear Cerine coughing and stuttering?
What the fuck?
Anyare sa kanya?
Did something happened?
I'm so confused?
Ewan ko ba pero parang may naamoy ako kay Cerine, she's never been like this... ever.
Could it be because of Maddox?
Who is this Maddox to her anyway?
Baka tanungin ko si Karine mamaya.
"Ms. Dixon." narinig ko agad yung tawag ng kasambahay sa mansion at yung katok niya sa pinto.
"Yes?"
"Mr. Nakamoto is here."
Ah, my future fiancee is here, damn.
Nandito na agad siya? Akala ko ba busy siya ngayon? Sabi niya may mga meeting daw siya with the Cardozas and Diamantes.
Cardozas and Diamantes are technically kind of families now.
Kinasal kasi yung natatanging babaeng anak ng mga Diamantes na si Genevieve.
Genevieve Villanueva Diamante is now married to Ares Jude Cardoza, the middle child out of the three famous Cardoza brothers.
Marami ring nagulat na natanggap ng mga Cardoza na magpakasal yung anak nila kay Genevieve kahit na alam nila na may Villanueva siya sa pangalan niya.
I guess love wins in the end. Love is on their side.
Unfortunately, love isn't on my side... it's sadness and just bad things.
"Pakisabi na bababa na 'ko."
"Yes, Ms. Dixon."
Since I finished my work and meeting with the Maddoxs, it's time for my date with Silas.
Yes, a date.
Mukha bang ginusto ko yung date?
It's not likely a date but me meeting him at his place just for a talk, pero ipapakita namin sa iba na date yun so once we get engaged walang magtataka kung kailan nagsimula yung relasyon namin.
"Ms. Dixon?"
"Yes... Dominic?"
I grabbed my coat and my bag with me, pumasok naman si Dominic sa loob ng opisina ko bago ako umalis.
"How was uhm... your meeting with them? With Mr. Maddox?"
"Good, I guess."
Sinusubukan kong 'di siya tingnan sa mata baka ano lang masabi ko, ang gwapo pa rin niya as always, nakakabwisit kasi paano ako ikakasal kung ganito kagwapo yung taong gusto kong pakasalan?
"Do you have another meeting with Mr. Nakamoto?" bigla niyang tanong sa harap ko.
He blocked the doorway with his body and we are now so close to each other.
Ang ganda ng timing talaga, 'wag mong sabihing umaakto siyang okay kaming dalawa samantalang 'di pa rin ako nakakamove on sa mga nangyari nung nakaraan.
"No, it's not a meeting."
"Excuse me?"
Huminga ako ng malalim at tiningnan siya sa mga mata niya, sa magaganda at kumikislap niyang mga mata, baka malunod nanaman ako ni'to, shet, shet!
"I said... hindi meeting, Herrero."
I could feel his hot breath inches away from his lips, naaalala ko lang yung nangyari nung gabing yun kung saan naghalikan kaming dalawa, of course bumibilis pa rin ang tibok ng puso ko sa tuwing naaalala ko yun hello?
Yung labi niya, the way it moved against mine and his tongue too?
I think it was a french kiss, damn, just damn!
"Then what is it?" bulong niya sa'kin.
"A date." sabi ko sabay tulak sa kanya sa gilid at binuksan ko yung pintuan tsaka na 'ko nakalabas.
God, I hate the fact that I'm saying that it's a date but I have to.
Bwisit na Nakamoto tuloy, bakit pa kasi siya ang kailangan kong pakasalan? He's a playboy too! Pero matalik ko rin siyang kaibigan, it's so weird!
Patuloy ako sa paglalakad ng bigla akong hinila ni Dominic at hinarap niya ako ulet sa kanya, seryoso ang ekspresyon niya at nakita ko ang pagtulo ng pawis sa baba niya, anong meron?
"What date?"
"Ha?"
Bingi ba siya?
A date is a date right?
Ano naman kung may date ako?
Tsk, wag mong sabihing nagseselos siya kasi ngayon may kadate na 'ko.
Sorry, Dominic. You're too late, ikakasal na 'ko sa bwisit na Nakamoto na yun. Mahal ko naman si Silas bilang kaibigan ko, hindi bilang asawa ko, yun lang.
"Date nga sabi ko.. let me--"
"You can't date him."
"At bakit hindi pwede? Selos ka?" natatawa kong tanong sa kanya.
"No, he has a bad reputation. Your parents are not gonna like this relationship, Geneva. He's also a player, he'll only break your heart."
"He'll... only my break my heart? Nagpapatawa ka ba, Dominic?"
Pinuwersa kong tanggalin ang kamay niya sa may braso ko at tiningnan siya ng masama habang mapait na ngiti ang nakaguhit sa labi ko.
"How is he going to break my heart when it's already broken to begin with? But I guess... thank you for thinking of me, but I don't need you thinking of me anymore, Dominic." I smile as wide as I could before I left to meet Silas down on the first floor.
Bwisit, bwisit na Herrero.
Akala niya ba mabilis akong makakamove on sa kanya? E 'di ba nga ayaw niya sa'kin?
Gets ko na na mistake lang yung halik na yun, I get it now tapos aakto siya na parang nagseselos siya?
Oo, mahal pa rin kita.
Pero may problema ako with the Villanuevas and I'd rather think about them right now than you.
And besides, I'm doing this for you too, Dominic.
"You look bitter."
"Ha? Nang-aasar ka ba?" naiinis kong sagot kay Silas na nakangiti sa'kin habang nginunguya yung steak sa bunganga niya.
"If we're on a date, my date should be smiling, we should be all smiles and just happy."
"This is not a date, Silas."
"But you told him that it was a date... right?" he smirked.
Wala naman akong choice!
We had to let the people know around us that it is a date and that there is something going on between the two of us.
I'm sure na pinaguusap na kami ng mga empleyado niya sa baba, they're shocked that we were holding hands when we went to his office.
"He looks upset, he looks like... upset, Geneva."
"He's upset na baka may relasyon na nagaganap sa pagitan na'ting dalawa and out of anyone it had to be you."
"Ano namang mali sa'kin? If you think about it, I'm perfect for you, Geneva."
Ah, is it because he's a Nakamoto?
Pake ko kung Nakamoto siya?
Maybe he is perfect dahil galing siya sa isang kilala at mayamang pamilya, he's also intelligent and smart, and he's rich without even the help of his family, he's just Silas Nakamoto.
"He thinks you have a bad reputation and remember? You're a player, a danger to all women everywhere."
"Now... he's not upset because of that... he's upset because you're with me now. Ayaw mo yun, nagseselos na siya."
"Selos? Tch, I wish."
Of course I wish na nagseselos siya. Pero feeling ko kanina 'di naman talaga siya nagseselos, galit lang siya na ang babaeng minahal siya ay may nahanap ng iba, laging gano'n sa mga drama, 'di ba?
I want him to love me not because he lost me, but I want him to love me because he does love me.
"Pwede bang magpokus na lang ta'yo kung bakit may date ta'yo, ha? We're here to talk about our plans, right?"
Pinunasan niya yung bibig niya gamit yung panyo at umupo ng maayos sa harap ko bago niya sinimulan ang usapan, it's important for us to talk about this wedding and how we will caught the Villanueva off guard.
"Alright, when do you want me to propose to you?" bigla niyang tanong.
Damn, propose agad?
Well, we are getting married and he would have to propose to me first before we get married, right?
"Kailan mo ba gusto?"
"I'm asking you, Geneva." tawa niya.
"But you were the one who wanted to get married, right? May plano ka, Silas, which means na napagisipan mo kung kailan tayo dapat magpakasal, you should tell me your whole plans besides just us getting married to each other." explain ko.
I'm sure he's thought of it.
Kung naisip niya na magpakasal kami e 'di napagisipan niya na rin kung kailan siya magpopropose at kung kailan kami ikakasal.
"Soon, I plan to marry you sooner than you think, Geneva." he answered.
"Maybe... next month?"
I knew it.
He wanted to get married as fast as possible, huh?
Naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit, gusto niya na sigurong tapusin yung problema niya with them, with the Villanuevas.
"Silas... do we really need to get married? Like... officially? Like... legal talaga?"
Bakit 'di na lang kami magpakasal pero 'di totohanan, right?
"We have to. Malapit na sila sa pamilya ko, they'll know immediately if the marriage is fake, nasabi ko na 'to sayo, 'di ba?"
'Di pa rin ako makakarecover na kapag kinasal kaming dalawa, hindi na 'ko Dixon, I'm going to become a fucking Nakamoto.
Does that make sense?
Bakit nga ba kailangan kasal pa? They're that close then, hm? He doesn't have a choice but caught them off guard with our marriage.
"Pag nalaman nila na ikakasal tayo, they'll freak out."
"Yes, they will freak out. They've stayed in our family for years just for this moment, just for this time, pag nalaman nila na ikaw ang pakakasalan ko they would have to plan again. We will caught them off guard, I promise you."
Kung ikakasal ako sayo, Silas. This better works.
This plan better worked or I'll kick your ass because there is no way I'm going to become a Nakamoto and this plan doesn't work, magagalit talaga ako.
"Kung ikakasal naman din ta'yo next month, 'wag ka ng magpoprose."
"Why not?"
"Just cause... there's no difference, I will still marry you and you will still marry me. So from now on, I am your fiance and you're mine."
Who cares about proposing anyway? It's supposed to be magical, pero paano magiging magical yung akin kung hindi si Dominic ang magpoprose sa'kin?
I'd rather not, kung magpopropose sa'kin si Silas it would just make me cry and I'll have to force a 'yes' from my mouth tapos iyak.
"So you're my fiance now?" ngiti niya.
"Yeah, I'm your fiance.... oh... and... hanggang kailan tayo kasal? I mean... hanggang kailan ba na'tin kailangang maging mag-asawa?"
I can't just be married to him for a long time, mababaliw ako at tsaka naniniwala pa rin ako sa totoong pag-ibig, kahit na 'di man si Dominic I'm sure na makakahanap ako ng iba.
I don't want to stay in a marriage without love.
"2 or 3 years?"
"Okay."
"Gusto mo ng kontrata?"
"No, I trust you. We will an annulment after 3 years, and that's official, alright?"
"Yes ma'am."
I am now his fiance.
Ikakasal kami next month and we'll be married for 3 years.
Damn it, now I have to survive for 3 long years, I'm going to cry every day thinking that Dominic is not the one I'm getting married to.
"Mr. Nakamoto."
"Yes? Harriet?"
"Oh... I didn't know that you were with Ms. Dixon."
Nagtama ang mga mata naming dalawa, that girl... wait--who is this girl?
She's wearing a dress shirt, black miniskirt, and some heels too.
Ang sexy at strict niyang tingnan, agad akong napatingin kay Silas with a smirk on my face.
"No, it's alright. What's up?"
"You have a meeting at exactly 2 pm with Mr. Ambriosa."
"2 pm? Akala ko ba bukas?"
"He changed it and he really wants to meet you today."
"Damn it, that man... I swear." tawa niya.
The Ambriosa family, hm? I've heard about them, I've met some of them in the CREED family parties.
Ang alam ko lang kilala sila dahil sa imahe na pinapakita nila na perpekto sila, every member of that family is crazy perfect.
"He thinks he's some God and I should be grateful for him giving me some of his time, he's an idiot... not a God."
"I know, Mr. Nakamoto."
"Tell him I'll meet him at 2 pm, that's it."
"Yes, Mr. Nakamoto."
Lumabas yung babae mula sa opisina at sinarado yung pinto.
Lumaki ang mga mata ko na nakatingin pa rin kay Silas at nakatingin lang siya sa'kin na para bang naguguluhan siya kung bakit hindi ko siya tinitingnan.
"Who is she? Your... ex? Your fling?"
"My assistant, Geneva. Really? Yun ba talaga ang tingin mo sa'kin?"
"Weh? 'Di nga? Hindi mo siya hinalikan?"
"Never, and besides... she's been my assistant for years now and I completely trust her, if I make a move then it'll only break the trust we have for each other."
Nah, feeling ko may nangyari na sa pagitan nilang dalawa.
I know Silas, I'm sure he'd already made a move on that woman and then gano'n, wala na.
One night stand siguro?
"Don't tell me you're jealous hm? You're my fiance now, you have some power against me."
"Me? Jealous? Hell no. Just make sure na hindi ka na makikipaghalikan sa iba habang kasal tayo, or even sex... alright?"
"Then can I kiss you?"
Muntik na 'kong mabulunan sa sinabi niya. Baliw ba siya?
Do I look like I'll let him kiss me?
Just no, hell no!
"We will have a private weddin--"
"We would still have to kiss-"
"Private wedding and just a peck, take it or leave it."
Nambibwisit yata siya.
He will always have this playboy roots inside him, nakalimutan ko talaga na kakailangan ko rin siyang halikan sa kasal namin, ew!
Imagine me kissing my own best friend and business partner?
Disgusting!
Ngayon mabubulunan na talaga ako. It will be just a peck, a peck, just a fucking peck, that is it.
I don't want a real kiss with him, gusto real kiss lang with Dominic.
At least may experience na 'ko sa gano'ng bagay pero ayoko nga lang maexperience yo'n with Silas.
Pagkatapos ng lunch date namin ni Silas, pinagusapan namin yung hotel ko, my own business.
He plans to send a big money as a wedding gift from the groom to his bride, that kind of shit.
Pinagalitan ko siya dahil ayoko nun pero sabi niya isipin ko na lang yun bilang regalo niya para sa'kin dahil tinanggap ko na magpakasal sa kanya.
And now I'm just waiting for the driver to pick me up from his house.
I'll probably ask him to drive me to Guilty Bite cafe for some Iced coffee tapos balik sa hotel for my work again.
And... it turns out na hindi yung driver yung maguuwi sa'kin, it's Dominic.
What the heck?
"Dominic?"
"I'm here to pick you up, Ms. Dixon."
"Uh... no."
"Yes, Ms. Dixon."
I can't do this right now.
Are you kidding me?
I'm now Silas' fiance and he's here?
The man I love?
Paano kung bigla ko na lang tinawag si Silas para sabihin sa kanya na ayoko ng magpakasal dahil sa lalaking 'to? Ha?
"Dominic--"
"It is my duty and responsibility as your assistant to be with you and help you, Ms. Aster Geneva D. Dixon." matatag niyang sabi sa'kin.
Natahimik na lang ako, I didn't know what to say kung ganyan siya makatitig sa'kin, nakangiti siya pero parang iba yung pinapakita ng mga mata niya, he looks upset, or am I crazy?
"Ugh..."
Binuksan ko yung pinto ng kotse at pumasok sa loob, I was just about buckle my seat belt until I felt him next to me and suddenly buckled the seat belt for me instead.
Bumilis agad yung tibok ng puso ko at napahawak ako sa dibdib ko sa sobrang lapit niya sa'kin.
Parang e'to lang yung nangyari kanina bago ako pumunta sa 'date' namin ni Silas.
Hindi pa rin siya bumalik sa upuan niya pero parang tinitingnan niya yung seatbelt ko, dahan-dahan niyang ibinalik ang mga mata niya sa'kin at agad akong napalunok dahil doon, shet... ang lapit niya grabe.
"Uh... D-Dominic--"
"I'm just checking on you." bulong niya sabay ngiti ulet sa'kin.
What the fuck? Anong checking on you? Is he trying to make me feel something?
Kasi nakakatulong and I am feeling something.
But I can't do this, I can't do this right now.
I'm getting married next month, just 'cause this is a marriage without love doesn't mean that I'll cheat on Silas with Dominic, no... just no!
"Dominic... ple--"
"I said I'm checking on you."
"Bakit kailangan mong gawin yan? You can just check on me on your own seat, not this cl--"
"I'm making sure na hindi ka hinawakan nung Nakam-- Mr. Nakamoto. He's a man, he's a man with needs and with a woman like you, I'm sure he'll take advantage of you."
Ha? If Silas wanted to take advantage of me, he would've done it a long time ago, like hello?
Do you really think Silas would do that?
That's stupid and unreal, I just don't think Silas would make a move, it's... ugh!
"Silas would not do that..." tinanggal ko ang kamay niya sa may seatbelt ko.
"How would you know he would not take advantage of you, Geneva? How?"
"Ano bang pake mo?" naiirita kong tanong sa kanya.
Naiirita ako sa mga tanong niya kasi ngayon naguguluhan na 'ko, may nararamdaman ka ba sa'kin o wala?
Nagseselos ka ba o umaakto ka lang nagseselos kasi baka nagugustuhan ko na si Silas, ano ba talaga?
"Are you my sister? Are you my brother? Nanay ba kita? Tatay ba kita? Kamag-anak ba kita, ha?"
"I care about you, I'm just con--"
"I don't need you're 'caring' or 'concern', Dominic. I'm doing well, or I'm trying to be well after that day."
Sa palagay niya ba 'di pa rin ako nasasaktan sa tuwing nakikita ko siya?
I want to fucking cry over and over again dahil sa kanya, I love him too much and I can't let him go.
At ngayon na ikakasal na 'ko, mas lalo na 'kong mahihirapan na layuan siya.
"I can't."
Damn it, Dominic.
What are you trying to tell me now?
"I can't stop caring about you, Geneva. I just can't."
"Bakit? Dahil trabaho mo yun? Responsibilidad mo biglang assistant ko?"
I tried to smile but it was too hard to draw it on my lips, it was too painful.
Sinabi ko na sa sarili ko na 'di ko na siya pwede pang mahalin, that it would be the last time for me to look at his eyes and tell myself that I love him.
But it's so hard, I waited for this man and I got nothing. I have to get married to another man, to my fucking best friend!
"No... because you're my friend, Geneva."
Putang inang friend yan.
Does he think yun ang kailangan ko sa kanya?
'Care' for his friend? I don't want to be his friend!
"Well... I never thought of you as my friend, Dominic. Never." I smiled bitterly at him after.
Tinulak ko siya sa upuan niya tsaka ako huminga ako ng malalim, pinokus ko na lang ang atensyon ko sa bintana, but it's so hard to focus when he's next to me.
I have to let him go, I have to let go of Dominic.
'Di ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko, sinusubukan kong alisin siya sa utak ko at isipin ang kasal pero mas lalo lang akong nasasaktan.
Damn it. All I could think about is him.
Him and him, and him.
What am I going to do with you, Dominic?
How am I going to let go of you?