Kabanata 6: It's Just Us
"Geneva, stop it! Nakakahiya, baka an--"
"Pake ko ba? Masaya lang ako na dinidiligan mo pala yung mga cactus ko, tapos... tapos katabi pa nung mga anak ko yung mga bulaklak mo, all this time you've been rejecting my offer to eat with you, turns out you're busy watering my plants~" kilig na kilig sabi sa kanya.
Tinalikuran niya 'ko at niyakap ko ulet siya patalikod, nagulat nanaman siya sa ginawa ko dahilan para mapatalon siya.
"Geneva, please..."
"What? I just love it, I love hugging you~" I said, smiling.
"But... I'm washing the d-dishes!"
"I can't help it, I just like you a lot."
Wala na 'kong preno, wala na 'kong pake kung may pipigil pa sa'kin, gusto ko talaga siya, mas lalo lang akong nahulog sa kanya nung nalaman ko na tuwing umaga lagi niyang dinidiligan yung mga anak ko.
It's just adorable, that means he cares about my cactuses, my kids! Our future kids!
"Geneva... please, let me do my work."
"Alright, until you agree to come with me to find the perfect bag at the mall, bibili rin ako nang mga accessories para sa CREED party."
"T-Today?" nauutal pa rin niyang sambit.
"Yes, it's today. Please? Come with me? Ikaw din kaya ang partner ko, bibili na rin ako nang accessories din para sa'yo, we could buy something for each other! So we look cute!"
I could imagine it already, just us walking inside and people just amazed at how gorgeous and cute we look! A perfect couple, am I right?
"Yes, I'll go with you."
"Yay! Oh, saan mo rin pala gustong kumain? We should eat something there too, by the time we would be there, it'll be lunch already."
"I... I don't think we should eat outside." sagot niya habang hinuhugasan yung mga plato.
"Why not?" tanong ko sabay sandal sa may lamesa sa katabi lang ng lababo kung saan siya naghuhugas nang mga pinggan.
"Well... it's... you know, ano kasi..."
He's trying to find an answer but it looks like there are no answers after all. Damn it, he's so cute, he's so adorable. I swear I just want him so much, I like him too.
"Nag-hihintay ako, Dominic." bulong ko sa kanya.
"I... I... f-fine... let's just eat there..."
"Great! You are amazing! See, madali lang naman 'di ba?" binigyan ko siya ulet nang isa pang yakap sa likod niya, naramdaman ko naman na natigilan siya sa ginawa ko.
"Please, Geneva... don't... please..."
Kahit yung batok niya namumula na rin, I need to stop myself or he'll just explode, but shit... I just want to drive him crazy over and over again.
Dominic, I like you too much it's not even funny.
"Okay, okay... sorry na. I won't be bothering you anymore but I will be bothering you later~"
Siguro para kay Dominic, iniisip niya na trabaho lang 'to bilang guwardiya ko at partner ko for today, but for me of course, it's a date!
Bibilisan na'min yung pag-shoshopping nang mga accessories and then other more stuff, and after that, we'll be eating at one of the most expensive restaurants there is next to the shop.
I cannot wait. It will all be perfect because everything has to be perfect. Bibilhan ko naman din nang pagkain yung driver na'min, of course. 'Di naman ako ganung tao.
Ooh, what should I wear? Should I wear a dress? 'Di naman ako yung tipon nang tao na nagsusuot nang mga dress, mahilig akong mag-short o mag-pantalon, mas komportable lang talaga ako sa mga ganung klaseng damit.
Naligo ulet ako at pinatuyo ang buhok gamit yung hair dryer, 'di ko na tinali yung buhok ko, I wore a Ruched Bust bodycon dress in a color orange and some white and orange Air Jordan shoes, I didn't forget to put on some chain on my neck and even in my wrist.
For today, ginamit ko ang pang-everyday ko na perfume, my CHANEL Mademoiselle Intense perfume, it's just giving off an everyday vibe when you smell it. Of course 'di ko makakalimutan yung makeup ko, natural lang din ang makeup ko today, I look like I don't have that much makeup either.
"Alright." tsinek ko ang itsura ko sa salamin, napangiti naman ako sa sarili 'kong repleksyon, I look so good! I look so effortless!
Ang tagal ko na ring 'di nakapaghanda nang ganito, I am pretty, I am beautiful, I guess it's the Dixon in me.
Bumaba ako dala-dala yung shoulder pouch ko from Bottega Veneta. Pag-baba ko, napansin ko agad si Karine at Cerine na kinakausap si yaya Maria.
"Huh, Aster." napunta ang atensyon nila sa'kin, parang gulat sila sa itsura ko, nakangiti lang si Cerine ng maliit, para bang proud siya sa'kin na nag-ayos ako today.
"You look gorgeous, Geneva." nakangiti pa ring sambit ni Cerine, para siyang si mama kapag may maganda siyang nakikita.
Gano'n ba talaga ako kaganda kapag nag-aayos nang mabuti? Siguro seryosohin ko na rin kaya ang pag-papaganda, baka magulat ang mundo sa ganda ko, kaya bagay talaga kaming dalawa ni Dominic.
"Orange is truly your color." Karine smiles at me.
Right timing din na lumabas si Dominic at suot-suot niya yung binili ko na Calvin Klein shirt para sa kanya nung nakaraan, laid-back pa ang buhok niya at naka-salamin pa siya, nakatulong din yung itim na pantalon niya na fitted pa.
He is so fucking hot. I know that he's pretty, he's attractive, and just perfect. But I didn't know he could look this hot and sexy?
Nababaliw nanaman yata ako, tinakpan ko ang bibig ko at pisngi ko dahil sa hiya, ayokong ipakita yung mula ng mga pisngi ko dahil kay Dominic.
Shit.
Shit.
He looks so good! How could he look this good?
"You're coming with my sister, Herrero?"
"Yes, Ms. Dixon."
"Good, take care of her, and don't let her spend tons of money, alright?"
I'm trying to calm myself down kaya 'di ako sumagot sa mga pinagsasabi ni Karine, baka asarin lang ako ng magkambal na mas pula ako ketchup ng UFC, parang 'di sila mas maputi kaysa sa gatas ng Bear Brand.
"I will try my best, Ms. Dixon?"
Narealize ko naman agad na ako yung tinutukoy niyang Ms. Dixon, syempre 'di pa rin okay na 'di niya 'ko tinatawag na Geneva sa harap ng ibang tao, I feel special that he calls me by my second name when it's just the two of us but... I don't know, I'm weird.
"I'm ready, are you, Ms. Dixon?" tinanong niya 'ko na may maliit na ngiti sa labi niya, yung ngiting pang-professional kasi nandito yung mga kapatid ko, tumango naman ako at lumabas na lang ako, kumaway ako sa kanila as a sign of leaving.
Kalmado na 'ko ngayon, pero parang 'di ko kakayanin na kasama ko siya doon mag-shopping, ang gwapo kasi niya.
If I'm already reacting like this, what if he's sitting right next to me? What am I going to do that? For someone who's already confessed their feelings, may hiya pa rin talaga ako.
Pa'no naman kasi? Ang gwapo gwapo niya, kung kaklase ko siya e 'di siya na agad yung pinakakilalang estudyante sa buong school, 'di rin maganda yun kasi maraming magkakacrush sa kanya, ako lang, ako lang dapat ang may crush sa kanya!
Umupo ako sa loob ng kotse at binuckle ang sarili kong seatbelt, akala ko rin okay na 'ko pero 'di pala, pag-upo pa lang niya at sara ng pintuan, 'di ko napigilang mapatitig nanaman sa kanya, nagulat ako sa laki at tindi ng bisig niya, what the heck?
He used to work out right? Because what the fuck?
Ang ganda talaga nang katawan niya, ang sarap kumapit sa bisig niya, kahit kapag niyayakap ko siya sa likod ramdam ko yung mga muscles niya, umiinit nanaman yung mga pisngi ko.
'Di na yata mga pisngi ko pero buong mukha ko na, this is too much for me now. Napatakip nanaman ako nang bunganga, kinagat ko naman yung labi ko para pigilan ang sarili ko na sumigaw sa kilig.
Ang landi ko, kung saan saan napupunta yung mga mata ko. Now thinking about it, what about his abs? Matindi rin ba?
"Ms. Dixon?"
"Hm?"
"Okay ka lang ba?"
Sa palagay mo okay ako? Nakasalamin ka pa, bwisit, ang gwapo mo! Bakit ba kasi ang gwapo mo? 'Di mo ba narerealize kung gaano ka kagwapo, Dominic, baka halikan kita diyan eh.
"Of course, I am. Yes, I am, Dominic." binuhos ko na lang ang buong atensyon ko sa bintana ng kotse sa gilid ko.
Kung kami lang dalawa baka ang dami ko nang nasabi dahil sa kagwapuhan niya, pero nandito yung driver, ayokong magsalita kasi baka malandi ang ending ko.
He doesn't even look adorable anymore, he just looks so fucking hot! Kahit sinong babae ang makakita sa kanya talagang mababaliw, baliw na nga ako eh! Putang ina, napapamura nanaman ako sa utak ko.
"Ms. Dixon, are you sure you're okay? I am a bit concerned."
"I swear, I am, Dominic."
"But--" inalis ko agad yung kamay niyang papunta sa'kin para i-tsek kung okay lang ako, kahit ako nagulat sa nagawa ko, ano ba kasing magagawa ko?
I'm overwhelmed by him! This is so crazy!
"I-I'm sorry... okay nga lang kasi ako."
"I... understand, Ms. Dixon." he nodded afterward.
I'm sorry, Dominic.
I am really trying my best to stop myself from hugging you and just wanting to tease you but it's hard if you're this hot!
Ang hirap din talaga kapag gwapo yung taong gusto mo, 'no? Bakit parang hirap ng buhay ko these days? 'Di naman ako ganito noon sa mga dati kong crush o mga ex-boyfriends ko. Iba talaga kapag si Dominic, maybe it's because it's him, he's not like any other guys.
I tried. I tried to start a conversation but every time I tried, I just forget to breathe. Kung saan saan napapadpad yung mga mata ko, yung bisig niya, dibdib, tapos yung batok naman niya?
"Ms. Dixon, is there something on my face?"
Ngayon naman yung mga mata niya, tapos pababa sa labi niya. I want to die, just kill me with those lips please, I'd happily die after that too.
Nakatitig pa siya sa'kin na para bang walang problema sa mundo, na siya lang ang centro ng buong buhay ko, na siya lang ang natatanging espesyal at importante sa'kin, he's too much for me, oh my god.
"Ms. D--"
"No! No! Nothing... ha... I'm just..."
"Namumula ka nanaman."
"N-Nanaman?"
Don't tell me na napansin niya yung ketchup kong pisngi sa tuwing may ginagawa siyang bagay na may epekto sa'kin? Tsaka may makeup ako! Ba't may pula pula pang nalalaman ang buong mukha ko?
"Are you allergic to something? It's not good if you're this red..."
Nope, nope. I feel so fucking vulnerable in front of him! I don't like this feeling of being seen, of being observed especially by him!
"Wala nga, ang kulit mo, kainis ka..."
"Sorry, I just wanted to make sure..." ramdam ko pa ang paglapit niya sa may tenga ko kahit na kunyari nakapokus ako sa bintana.
"...I'm your friend too, Geneva." napatingin ako sa kanya agad nang ibinulong niya yung sinabi niya sa may tenga ko.
Our faces are too close to each other and my heart is beating way too fast, ako na ang mismong pumalag sabay balik ang mga mata ko sa bintana ulet, fuck!
"I am okay, I-I..." I lost again thanks to those eyes of his.
"I really am okay, stop being concerned about me, Herrero."
"If you say so, I just wanted to make sure."
Bakit ba kasi ang gwapo mo? Parang katabi ko naman yung anak ng panginoon, yung anghel, kung gano'n naman din ibig sabihin ba no'n paborito rin ako nang panginoon dahil pinakilala niya sa'kin yung anghel niya?
Pinasalamatan ko yung driver at sinabi ko sa kanya na bibilhin ko rin siya nang pagkain mamaya pagkatapos nang shopping na'min, pinauwi ko muna siya kasi 'di naman gano'n kalayo yung mansion sa'min.
Hindi pa rin ako nagsalita, 'di rin siya nagsalita, gusto ko mang sabihin at ilabas na ang katotohanan na nababaliw ako sa kagwapuhan ng mukha niya at ganda ng katawan niya pero 'di ko kaya today.
Feeling ko ang hinang hina ko today, parang wala akong enerhiya, gusto ko na lang umuwi, yung gano'n?
Pumasok kami sa mall at may kabang nabuo sa dibdib ko, hindi pa rin ba niya 'ko tatanungin kung okay ako? 'Di ba lagi siyang ganun? Baka naman din nasawa siya kakasagot ko na okay ako, pabayaan muna na'tin siya.
Pumasok kami sa Tiffany & Co. I love Pandora but I wanna try out some products from them for now, para mabago naman ang vibe ko for this party.
I have to give off a good impression on everyone, I'm a Dixon, it would be my first time there, no one has seen me, no one knows what an Aster Geneva D. Dixon even looked like anyway, they probably had an idea but they've never met in person.
I have to give off a strong image too, so no one would even try to come after me and think me as someone weak.
"Geneva."
It's just the two of us now walking around the mall, and he's finally calling me by my name, I love that.
"Yes, Dominic?" nakangiti kong tanong sa kanya.
Kalmado na 'ko, at least this time pinuwersa ko na ang sarili kong maging kalma kahit na sobrang gwapo niya at hihimatayin na 'ko.
I assumed that I was going to be calm once again.
He touched both sides of my cheek and leaned as close as he could get as he stares right through my face and into my eyes, I slowly pushed him away from me for a bit, he was too strong that I couldn't push him all the way.
"A-Anong gin...agawa mo? Baliw ka ba?" I asked, covering my mouth again in embarrassment.
What the fuck? Did he just touch my cheeks?
"Tsinek ko lang kung okay ka na, kanina ka pa kasi namumula sa kotse, nag-alala ako sa'yo, Geneva."
Tang ina naman 'to! Pag ako na-heart attack talaga, Dominic! 'Di pa nakakatulong yang ngiti mong pamatay!
"Good thing you're much better now, that's better."
All this time, alam niyang namumula ako buong byahe? Does that mean he's been observing me while I'm trying to focus my mind on the car window? What the heck?
"C-Can you not do that? Don't--"
"Why not? 'Di ba ikaw ang nangyayakap sa'kin sa likod ko? At least I got my revenge~" he jokingly said.
"Dominic, alam mo namang gusto kita... seems like you just want me to like you even more..." I mumbled the last few parts to myself.
"Bakit, gusto mo bang yakapin kita ulet?" asar ko, nabigla siya sa tinanong ko at tumayo nang tuwid, ngisi naman ako.
"No..."
"Hm, revenge you say huh? Yakapin kita diyan eh..." I chuckled again as I wrap my arm around his, holding him tight.
"Let's go!" masaya kong sigaw at naglakad patungo sa direksyon ng Tiffany & Co.
Para rin talagang date ang lakad na'min. Kaming dalawa lang at nakakapit ako sa kanya nang mahigpit, we look just like a couple!
I've had dates like this but I've never felt this much excitement and rush inside of my body. Yung wala pa ngang nangyayari may ngiti na agad ako sa labi ko, feeling ko 'di ko mabubura 'tong ngiti na sa labi ko, and I'm alright with that.
"What do you think?"
"Geneva, I thought we were going to buy accessories? Why are we back here again?"
"Why not? Bagay naman sa'yo ang mga damit dito!"
Yes, we're in Calvin Klein again. Parang gusto kong bumili ng mga damit ulet para sa kanya. Ooh! Bilhan ko kaya siya nang sando? I'm sure it'll look good at him and I'm already crazy just thinking of it.
"I'll buy all the tank tops here~" I smiled happily.
"Geneva!"
"What? Let me buy it! It's for you anyway~"
God, ang saya ko masyado. I don't know, usually, I love it when I shop for myself more but when it comes to buying stuff for Dominic, parang ang saya saya lang.
It feels like I want to spoil him forever and give him everything that he deserved, things that he wasn't able to receive before.
Perhaps I just want to show him the life he could've had, and even if he looks troubled, I could see that small smile on his face.
Last time, pinasalamat niya 'ko at napansin ko rin yung konting mula sa may pisngi niya nung time na yun. And I realized, I wanted more of his expressions, I want more.
I've become greedy, huh?
All because of him, of Dominic.
"Geneva... ang dami naman masyado..." sabi niya habang nakahawak siya sa may braso ko.
"Dominic, you deserve this. And besides..." I pause, averting my stare at him.
"...gusto ko lang gwapo at bago ang mga damit ng lalaking gusto ko 'no." I mumbled again, I don't want him to hear it even he already knew that I like him a lot, nakakahiya pa rin sa'kin.
Nag-dagdag pa 'ko nang mga medyas at iba mga t-shirt, yung mga galing sa new arrivals section nila, may discount din oh! Binayaran ko ang lahat at sulit naman din kasi nga may discount.
"See? You have new more clothes, Dominic~" I smiled happily at him again.
I'll spoil you as much as you want, Dominic.
You deserve it.
Sa tuwing natatandaan ko yung katotohanan na galing sa pamilyang yun, nabibwisit lang ako kasi alam ko kung ano yung mga pinagdaanan mo, sana hindi yun nangyari sa'yo, pero wala... 'di na na'tin mabubura ang nakaraan.
Pero pwede na'ting subukang baguhin ang kasalukuyan, so I'll try my best to make you feel better and happier because I like you so much.
And because I like to see your smile every single time you smile at me.
"Salamat ulet... Geneva." ngisi niya.
Sometimes my feelings for Dominic scare me, but sometimes I just erase that fear because it's him. Natatakot ako minsan na baka masasaktan lang ako pero at the end, ano naman kung masaktan ako?
At least Dominic is a good guy, a really good guy, a guy who truly deserved everything but was given nothing.
Kaya okay lang.
Okay lang na masaktan ako, okay lang.
Why does it taste so bitter whenever I think of it?
We walked inside Tiffany & Co., I asked them if they could just deliver some of the pieces to our mansion, they know which family I come from anyway, my sisters are their loyal and perhaps the richest customers they've ever had.
"We understand, we'll be sending them to you, Ms. Aster Geneva Dixon." they smiled.
Right now, we're just waiting if the ones I've picked are still in stock, they seem to be popular with other customers, hopefully, meron pa.
"Geneva."
"Oh?"
"Why me?"
"Huh?"
Anong pinagsasabi niya?
"Bakit ako ang nagustuhan mo?"
I was caught off-guard, what the heck? Bakit ngayon pa siya nag-tatanong nang mga ganyang bagay? Pwede naman sanang sa mansion o sa hardin, bakit bigla bigla dito?
"Anong... nakita mo sa'kin at nagustuhan mo 'ko?"
There are a lot of things that I saw in you, Dominic. But... I don't think I would ever tell you any of those. I don't think I'm ready to tell you without blushing yet, maybe on the day that I'll confess to you, maybe.
"Wala lang, gusto lang talaga kita. I guess, from the very beginning when you bumped into me..."
What a memory too.
"Pero... galing ako sa pamilya ng mga Villanueva..."
"You're adopted, Dominic. You're not them. I like you for you without even thinking about your past, despite it being painful without me learning the whole thing, I knew you suffered and... you didn't deserve it, Dominic."
No one did. No one of those kids or teenagers deserved it.
"Gusto kita because you're Dominic. And because I like you that I..."
I want to give you everything.
I just smiled at him after that, 'di na 'ko nagsalita pero 'di ako makahinga dahil nakatitig pa rin siya sa'kin.
Is he waiting for me to finish my sentence?
"That's... nice." rinig ko sa tabi ko.
I brought my eyes back to him and he's now looking somewhere else with a smile on his face, I don't get it, why is he smiling like that?
And what does that smile even mean?
"Ms. Dixon, we are done. You'll be receiving them tomorrow early in the morning." I thanked them.
Tapos na kami sa Tiffany & Co. Napaisip ako kung gutom na ba 'ko, parang nawalan ako nang ganang kumain, ewan ko, diet din kasi ako, feeling ko tumataba ako dahil sa dami kong kinakain na meryenda sa loob ng kwarto ko sa gabi habang nanonood ng mga shows o anime.
But, of course, baka nagugutom na rin si kuya driver, tanungin ko na lang kaya siya kung anong gusto niyang kainin?
"Dominic." nakangiti pa rin siya sa'kin.
"Saan mo gustong kumain?"
Maybe he's craving for some Chicken Joy or some food from Chowking. Kahit na gusto ko mang doon kami kumain sa mahal na restaurant malapit lang sa may mall to make it feel like a date, baka 'di naman niya magustuhan yung pagkain.
I don't want to force the food on him anyway. And besides, he's been working hard these days due to online school and additional work at the mansion, and he's also somewhat working for me and putting up with me.
"Gusto mo ba do'n sa McDonalds? Oh! What about Pizza? Or Mang-Inasal?" tanong ko habang tinetext ko yung driver kung anong gusto niyang kainin, deserve rin naman ng driver eh, pag-biyan na na'tin.
"W-What about... the uhm... restaurant you told me about?" I look back at him and noticed the pressure in his body after he answered.
Wait... what restaurant?
"Oh... oh! You mean... th--"
"Yes."
Anong meron sa kanya? Bakit masyado siyang energetic at nahihiya rin at the same time sa sagot niya, 'di ko rin ma-explain yung mukha niya, anong meron?
"Are you... sure?" I asked and clicked the 'send' button.
"Di ba matagal mo nang gustong kumain do'n? Yung ano... yung sabi mo..."
I raised my eyebrow. What is he trying to say?
Maybe he's trying to be nice because I mentioned it to him many times, ilang beses ko na rin siyang tinanong kung pwede ba kaming lumabas at kumain doon para kunyari date 'di ba?
Kaso nga puro siya trabaho at aral at dilig pa ng mga anak na'min, este, anak ko siempre.
"Dominic, spit it out." I said.
"Kasi... kasi!"
"Kasi?"
What is up with him? At bakit parang namumula rin yung leeg niya? Nakagat ba siya ng dengue or something?
"Sabi mo... gusto mo doon pumunta if... if...
...it's just the two of us again... t-together..."
You know, anyone would think that you have feelings for me too, Dominic. And damn it, I'm starting to think that you do like me.
Kung gusto niya rin ako e 'di madali lang!
Pwede nang maging kami, pero feeling ko 'di niya 'ko liligawan, kaya mag-hihintay na lang ako, balang araw ako naman yata ang manliligaw sa kanya instead of him courting me.
Oh well, I don't mind as long as we'll end up together, hehe.
"Alright then, let's go!"
I know for sure na magiging kami, o kahit 'di man maging kami basta siya lang ang nasa tabi ko habang buhay.
Sana ganun din siya.
Sana habang buhay din akong nasa tabi niya.
Sana lang.