Day 00010 Mission Nilex
It only took two hours to get the alignment of the second telescope set to their satisfaction. During that time, Ayla had returned from her hull flight to observe Gareth. He wasn't sure if he minded that or not.
«Shielding in place, Canaisis? I'm ready to insert the cartridge.»
«I never removed it, Captain,» responded Canaisis.
«I'm just making sure. I only brought the four, and I don't feel like having to go get more.»
«Aye, Captain.»
He opened the shielded pouch attached to his belt and removed the cartridge. Inserting it into its slot on the control panel, he watched the telescope accept it into itself. Then he punched in the correct settings, closed the access panel, and turned to retrieve his tool satchel.
«Is she still there?»
«Yes, Captain.»
«What's she doing?»
«Nothing. Just sitting quietly, thinking to herself.»
Satchel attached to his belt, he stood up straight and held up his hands. «Well, let's go to the next one.»
He caught the two drone balls and released his mag-boots. As Canaisis carried him across the hull, he scanned the surface. He didn't expect to find any damage, but sometimes, it was old habits that kept them safe.
∞
Ayla watched the Captain fly over the hull and out of sight, so she turned her gaze to the stars. In the back of her mind, the wind was blowing, pushing the scraping of hard ash to the fore. She fought the sound, denied it.
I'm here, on the ship Canaisis, looking at the stars, she kept repeating to herself. It's peaceful and quiet.
Eventually the sound abated.
Resting here among the stars with mental silence gave her peace and space to think. It was with this feeling that she could look upon her memories and examine them. Her thoughts touched upon the moment the Captain had asked her to call him Gareth. Then she remembered the tale Gareth had told her at the picnic table. His tale had not encompassed how bad it had really been, but his eyes had told her. She just hadn't been able to understand, then.
I understand now, don't I? Her body shivered a little, and she pulled up her knees and rested upon them with crossed arms.
Her heart went out to the man behind the Captain. When her heart had decided this, she didn't know. But it had. There was more to Gareth than what her Gift had shown her—she knew that much.
Her Gift had missed the mark. What it had shown her didn't explain the abyss she'd seen in those eyes. He had not been seeking his wife's ashes in that mausoleum. He'd been seeking something else.
His mission.
His commitment to duty.
His conviction...
Canaisis was right. It's what kept him going. Ayla had never met a man like him. As long as he had a purpose, he wouldn't stop.
She brought her arms behind her and pushed off from the hull. With her boots mag-locked, she floated to an upright position, and held her hands out.
«May I go back to the airlock, Canaisis?»
«Of course.»
Two glowing drones came over the horizon of the hull and flew to her. The one that had always remained with her drifted off to the side. When she caught the two drones in her hands, she demagnetized her boots and was pulled after the first drone. It led the way over the hull until they reached the airlock. After her boots had a secure magnetic grip, she paused and looked around.
"Canaisis, can I talk to the Captain?"
«Of course. Simply activate the button on your wrist control for suit-to-suit communication. The one with three diagonal lines.»
Ayla found the button on her left arm, took a deep breath, and hit it. "Captain, do you read me?"
A moment's pause.
"Yes, Ayla, I read you clearly."
"I wanted to say thank you for letting me come outside."
"It's my pleasure, Ayla. I'm glad you're feeling better."
"I understand now why you enjoy spacewalking so much. I just needed some time by myself. And Canaisis is amazing."
"That she is. I saw you flying with her—I'm not sure if I'm jealous or not. Are you finding it strange with her talking to you, you know, this new way?"
"It's strange and not, at the same time. I can't describe it."
"You don't have to—I understand completely. If you need to, come talk to me about it. It does take some getting used to."
"I... I'll do that. It seems we have something in common now. Canaisis."
It took a couple of seconds before the Captain responded. "Ayla, please understand that what We did, We did to save your life. Ahmid approved of this decision."
"I was dying—I know that. I thank you for all you have done for me. I owe you my life."
"Turn around, Ayla."
She twisted her mag-hold around to find him standing just a few paces away. His glow drones drifted upward and illuminated the area between them. His suit was of a bulkier design than hers, thicker, and his helmet was angular, not round. But his visor had the same gold reflective finish as hers. He touched his wrist, and the interior of his helm lit his face.
"Your life has only just begun, Ayla. Wait a few decades before you thank Us."
"I'm thanking you now, Captain. Let that be enough for now."
He nodded, and by his expression, he seemed to accept her words.
"If you'll excuse me, my duties call." He extended his hands to summon the two drones.
"May I ask what it is you're doing?"
He lowered his hands and walked the few remaining steps to her. When he took her left arm, Ayla held her breath, not knowing what to expect. He pressed a button on her wrist pad, and suddenly lights activated inside her helmet.
"There. Much better than talking to a blank helmet."
Ayla smiled up at him. "I'm sorry. I didn't think."
He let go of her arm and took a step back. "There are some ships that have caught my attention. I'm getting a better look at them."
"The ships Canaisis mentioned. She said they weren't trying to intercept us."
"They aren't, and they couldn't if they wanted to. But I suspect they're built for aggression."
"Military, to use your terms, Captain. We call them the Law of the Citizens. They ensure Corporations do not shun their responsibility to Mankind. Are you sure these ships are them?"
"I'm not sure of anything at the moment. But if they're these Law ships you're talking about, then I want to know their design and capabilities."
"How will you do that?"
Gareth turned and pointed toward the back of the ship. "Seventy-two thousand light-years from here is a neutron star, a pulsar. Its cosmic radiation bursts are consistent and predictable. When the next burst sweeps through this system, it will be basically following a straight line dead-on towards us. The ships are between us and the pulsar, so the energy burst will hit them first. Most of it will pass through the ships, but a few particles will strike matter. This collision produces muons that will decay into one electron and two neutrinos.
"I have to set up four telescopes. Inside them is a cartridge of unique elements designed to record the direction and angle of these energy particles when they hit us."
"I don't understand."
"The cartridges take a form of photograph of this energy. Canaisis can use this information to reconstruct the path of these energy particles all the way to the point of the impact that created the muons. This allows us to reconstruct a three-dimensional image of the ships and types of matter, inside and out."
Ayla stared at him. What he'd so calmly described was beyond anything Earth could accomplish. She couldn't imagine the computational power required, and it gave her new respect for Canaisis. She couldn't help it—her respect came through in her voice. "You can do this?"
Gareth seemed to shrug inside his suit. "We were explorers originally. Researching astronomical bodies was what we were designed for, including black holes, quasars, neutron stars—both pulsars and magnetars, and novas. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a timetable to meet."
"Of course, Captain."
He switched off his interior helmet lights, turned and held out his hands. The two glow globes above them dropped and smacked into his palms, then he raised his arms and flew away.
She watched him go, stunned at their talk. Her mind didn't know what to think about. The Law ships, the Captain, Canaisis, or the Nanos inside her.
One thing did stand out. How casually Gareth had told her to wait a few decades before deciding to thank him. She knew he had a perspective no one else could have. But now, she was beginning to get a sense of it.
Ayla entered the airlock and waited for it to cycle. The inner door opened for her to step through, and closed behind her. Wisps of cold vapor drifted from her suit as the heads-up display inside her visor counted up until it achieved one atmosphere of pressure.
«Please stand by one minute for your suit to warm up sufficiently,» said Canaisis.
Ayla waited as her thoughts jumped from one subject to another. Being outside had brought the memories of Canaisis her Gift had given her. They'd shown her some of Canaisis' perspective, but how could any Human understand what it was like to call the dark between the stars home?
She looked up toward the ceiling. «Canaisis? What do Humans really mean to you?»
«What do you mean?»
«I mean, we're slow, stupid, and must seem very irrational to you.»
«Humans are all of those things and yet have the potential for greatness. And not all Humans fit your description, you should remember that.
«I think that in your question, what you're doing is comparing Human abilities to mine. We're different, that's all—neither of us is superior. You, for example, can do something I cannot. The Human brain is extremely complex and processes information in ways I still do not understand.»
«You mean my Gift.»
«That is one example. You also have empathy for others on a physical and emotional level. And then there's something called intuition. You can take limited data points and reach correct conclusions that should not be possible—in fact, wouldn't be possible for me. My thought processes are modeled after the Human female mind, but even so, I'm limited. Your brain is a biomechanical electromagnetic analog processor. I can never duplicate that, as much as my designers tried.»
Ayla's lips rose in a smile. «Well... when you put it that way.»
«I do. Think about it, Ayla. At this moment, we're the only two of our kind in a vast universe. Yes, there may be life out there somewhere. Statistically, it's a certainty. But if they're thirty million light-years away, the point is moot. Since you're all I have, I cherish Humanity. They're my creators after all.»
«Couldn't you make those thirty million light-years and go see?»
«Maybe. But would they be there when I arrive? Would Humanity be here when I return? There is no way to estimate what I might gain from such a journey. But the price of what I would lose in doing so would be infinite.»
Canaisis' words struck a pause in Ayla's thoughts.
The third airlock door opened to the backpack storage room, prompting Ayla to step through to head for her empty socket and back into it. Her visor signaled a light at her and without thinking, she hit the proper key on her wrist control. The backpack detached with a noticeable click, relieving her of its weight.
The last door opened, and beyond were the lockers and suits. A numbness took over Ayla as she entered, all thought gone. She keyed her helmet release and took it off, walked to the narrow bench before the lockers, and set the helmet down.
As if in a trance, Ayla keyed the opening for the back of her suit, stripped the suit off, and laid it next to her helmet. She removed the one-piece body sock, reached over the bench, and took out her clothes, putting the sock in their place. But when she looked down at the clothing in her arms, she didn't recognize them. Confusion broke her trance as she tried to reconcile why foreign clothes had been in her locker.
"Ayla, are you alright?"
Canaisis' gentle voice from the ceiling above the lockers snapped Ayla back from the zone she'd been in.
"Yes, I'm fine." Realizing she was naked, she dressed quickly and sat down to put on her slip-on ship boots. She looked at the suit draped over the bench beside her and glanced at the suit rack on the opposite wall.
"Do I attach the helmet to the suit and hang it?"
«No need. Attach the helmet to the rack, then hold the suit up to it. I'll do the rest.»
Ayla stood up and reached with both hands to grab the helmet. Touching the cold metal sent a tremor though her, and something broke free in her mind. The gold visor stared back at her as the wind in the back of her mind blew over her like a hurricane. Her skin stung with a blast of ash, and with a gasp, she dropped the helmet. It landed with a thud and rolled away. The sound shocked her back to reality, and she wrapped her arms around herself as she took deep breaths.
«Ayla, talk to me. Shall I summon help?»
"No! I'm okay. Everything's okay. It's just that the helmet is still ice cold. It took me by surprise."
Ayla calmed her racing heart as she located the helmet. She didn't want to have anyone coming for her. The last thing she needed was everyone making a fuss over her.
Steeling her nerves, she picked up the helmet and quickly hung it on the rack. Then she held up the suit's neck ring to the helmet. The two attached, and Ayla stepped back, ignoring the gold visor that seemed to be watching her.
Without delay, she left the room. The hallway felt safe, and her nerves calmed as she leaned against the hallway wall. She felt as if the suit was calling her. Not the one she'd just worn, but the one Gareth had worn on Earth.
«Ayla, everything's not alright. Please talk to me.»
The wind in her mind buffeted her hard as if in anger, and abrasive ash stung her skin before retreating. She pushed the sensations from her mind and rallied herself to answer. "It's okay. It was just a shock, brought back memories. I'm okay now. Please don't tell anyone. I don't need everyone coddling me like I'm a child."
«I'll respect your privacy up to the point it becomes a health issue, Ayla. But if I understand what you're experiencing, we might be able to prevent it from becoming a health issue. Please tell me what you're going through.»
"I choose to carry the Burden alone, Canaisis. It's the way things must be. You see, in the beginning, we were used horribly. To redeem ourselves, it came to be that: 'To carry the Burden alone is a great trust placed upon us.' It is our sacred duty. This is why we wish to be free of the Citizens. Don't ask me to violate that trust. That's what the Citizens forced us to do."
«I understand. But I inquire for medical reasons only—I do not ask you to tell me of your Journey.»
"Consider it a privacy issue, Canaisis. You can understand that, can't you?"
«Very well. But I am concerned for you, Ayla.»
"It's just something I have to work through by myself. Now let it drop. Please."
«I'm here for you, Ayla. Now, where would you like to go?»
Only then did Ayla realize she was standing before the transit tube. She didn't remember getting there. The skin on the back of her hands stung. She looked down at them, expecting to see them raw from wind abrasion. But they looked perfectly fine, just a little red.
Did she want to go back to the hangar? No, Ahmid would have questions. Questions she didn't want to deal with. Not yet. Nor did she want to have to deal with Lina and Nura. Lina would see right through her. Where else could she go on this ship? The only place she knew was the Garden.
"Take me to the Garden."
«That is prohibited unless accompanied by someone, Ayla.»
"What?" Anger stirred within her.
«The Oak tree is too great a risk to you. I cannot allow you to go alone.»
"Fine! Tell Nura to meet me on the Garden level." Ayla didn't want to deal with anyone, but Nura was the better choice. "Can I go now?"
«Lina said she's on her way after she gets over the shock of me communicating to Nura inside the lab. It seems I took them by surprise.»
Ayla fought the smile growing on her lips. "Yeah, that sounds like Lina. But I said Nura, so why is Lina coming?"
«Lina insisted she go and Nura stay behind.»
Ayla sighed. She shouldn't be surprised. She stepped into the zero-G of the transit tube and felt the magnetic fields pull at the ship suit under her clothes until she was centered.
"Go slow, please."
«I remember.»
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