Warnings: homophobia, some swearing, and mention of anxiety attacks
Ok so this one is a bit more serious then I like to write. I like my share of fluff. But I wrote this when my parents were having a conversation about lgbt+ community. Let's just say, it wasn't a positive conversation.
This was the result of me thinking how my coming out/moving out would go because I know it would be a whole situation. I used a lot of my personal experiences in this, so there's that. Anyways...
I hope you enjoy. I plan on getting back in track with some more fluff one shots because I could really use that lol
Yelena and I were seated at the kitchen table, eating dinner together. It had been a nice and relaxing day. Today was one of the rare occasions where we both had the day off work, so we had made a plan to be lazy and be with each other all day.
Fanny trotted over to the two of us, sat down and gave us her best puppy dog eyes. She either wanted food or attention. Most likely food.
"Oh Fanny." Yelena giggled, scratching to top of the dog's fluffy head.
"I think she wants your dinner." I laughed, shoving more dinner in my mouth.
Yelena had made some kind of Russian dish, claiming that this was the food that she had grown up on during her time in Ohio. Her mom would usually make American dishes since they technically were undercover. But every once in a while, usually on holidays, she would pull out her recipes and make Russian dishes, wanting some kind of taste from home. Yelena had told me the name of the dish several times, but I still couldn't remember or properly pronounce the name. All I knew was that it tasted delicious.
The blaring sound of my phone ringing cut off our laughter, causing me to jump slightly. I pulled out my phone and looked at the caller ID. My face fell slightly when I saw who it was.
"What is it?" Yelena asked, instantly noticing the change in my expression.
"It's my mom." I say plainly, kind of wanting to let the call go to voicemail.
I let out a tired sigh, knowing that if I ignore the call, it will lead to more problems down
the road. I knew my mom and she would often blow things out of proportion when things don't go her way.
"I'll be right back." I mumble, leaving behind my half finished dinner and a slightly confused Yelena. Fanny watched me get up and walk away, then began following me to the bedroom. She slipped through the door just before I closed it.
Looking at the caller ID once more, I accepted the call and held the phone up to my ear.
"Hello?" I said boredly.
"Hi, y/n. It's mom." Just hearing her voice through the speaker caused my heart rate to increase to a most likely unhealthy rate.
My mom and I hadn't talked much with each other in about two years. In fact, I hadn't spoken to a whole lot of my family, except my older sister, since I came out two years ago. They had just dismissed me being gay as a phase, saying it would wear off after enough time in the church. When I pushed back, claiming that this was who I am and there was no changing that, they cut me off. Only person who stuck with me was my older sister. She was just as religious as the rest of my family, but didn't believe in cutting off people who are different. She accepted me for who I was.
Normally, I wouldn't answer phone calls from my family, minus my sister, but I knew my mom wouldn't be calling if it wasn't important or urgent.
"What's up?" I asked, wanting to get to the point so this call could be as brief as possible.
"Your father and I will be in town next friday and we're wondering if we could see you?" my mom asked.
What?
No.
They can't come here. This is my safe space. I can't have them come here.
They don't even know about Yelena. After my coming out went so badly, I never told them about my girlfriend.
But they're reaching out, trying to make some kind of connection. What if they're willing to try and change, try and accept me? It is entirely possible. It would be nice, having my family back in my life who was able to accept me.
"Uhh." I stuttered, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Yeah. Yeah sure. Why don't you and dad come by the apartment? You can come meet my...roommate." Fanny came over and sat by my feet, possibly sensing the anxiety that was radiating off me.
"I didn't know you had a roommate." my mom says, kind of defensively.
"We moved in together when I first came here. You can ask her all your questions when you get here. I'll send you the address later." I said kind of bluntly.
"Sounds good. We'll be there at around...5ish? For dinner?" My mom asked, sighing into the phone.
"Yeah, 5. Sounds good. I have to get going so I guess I'll see you Friday." I say, trying to end the call so I can properly freak out.
"Oh, ok. Yes, Friday at five. Bye, y/n." I can tell that she's trying her best to sound happy about this. This must be just as awkward for her as it is for me.
"Bye." I hang up quickly before she can say anything else.
I let out a deep sigh and put my fance in my hands. My parents were coming to the apartment for dinner in six days. Why were they so interested in having a relationship now? Why couldn't they have done that two years ago when I trusted them with a part of myself. They just cut me off, like it was the easiest thing in the world to do. I had moved off and started a new life, free of my fear for them. But now they were coming, thinking they could just waltz back into my life like nothing happened.
It sucks, being made to feel like you're worth nothing when you're just trying to be true to who you are. That's why I loved Yelena so much. She helped me learn how to love and accept myself, not caring how others thought of me. She helped me grow, made me feel like I was worth something.
A timid knock at the door drew me out of my thoughts, causing both myself and Fanny to look at the door. Yelena opened it and stuck her head in.
"Hey, can I come in?" she asked timidly.
"Of course you can come in. You live here." I replied back sarcastically, flashing her a smile.
"Ha ha." she laughs at me mockingly.
She came into the room and sat down next to me.
"What was that about?" she asked, taking one of my hands and beginning to play with the rings on my fingers.
"My parents are going to be in town on Friday. They were wondering if they could come by, see me." I said, devoid of any emotion.
"Is that a bad thing?" she asked, twisting one of the rings in my finger. It was one that she had gotten me.
When I didn't answer, Yelena looked up from our hands and met my eyes. She must have also noticed the panic on my face because she instantly cupped my face, trying to keep me focused on her.
"Y/n?" worry began filling her voice.
I had never told Yelena about my parents and what my family had done. All she knew was that I didn't speak to them much. She didn't know why, never wanting to pry and push too far. Only person from my family she had actually met and had a conversation with was my sister. The two got along pretty well, instantly clicking because they both had the same sense of humor.
I sighed and pulled my face out of Yelena's grasp, standing up and beginning to pace. I tried to gather my words, worrying about the upcoming dinnertime with my parents. I had a gut feeling that one way or another, it was going to go terribly.
"I don't exactly have the best relationship with my family. They cut me off two years ago when I came out to them." I stopped pacing halfway through my sentence, standing there to face the blonde.
I watched her face turn to sympathy. She stood up and pulled me into a tight hug, not exactly knowing what to say in response.
"I don't know why they're suddenly so interested in seeing me." I shrug into the hug.
"Maybe they want to start over." Yelena pulled away slightly to look at me, noticing my eyes begin to mist over.
"Yeah, maybe." I mumbled, looking down as my tears began to silently overflow.
"Hey, it'll be okay. I'll be with you the whole time." She said, trying to comfort me. I knew she hated it when I cried, but I couldn't help myself right now. This whole ordeal was a bit hard to swallow.
"Thank you, baby." I looked up slightly and offered her a watery smile. "You're okay with them coming over, right?"
"Yes, I'd love to meet your parents. Maybe if they see how much we love each other, it'll help them learn to accept you." she said hopefully, trying to bring my spirits up.
A pit began to grow in my stomach.
"Yeah, slight problem with that. My parents don't know about us. They just think we're roommates." I smirk nervously at her.
"Well, if the right moment comes, then maybe we can tell them." Yelena smiled, obviously trying to keep me optimistic. "It's just one dinner. How bad can that be?"
"One dinner. I can survive one dinner." I say firmly, trying to look on the bright side about this situation.
Fanny jumped up from her spot on the ground and placed her front paws on my side, asking for pets, which I gladly gave out.
She barked happily as Yelena joined in, giving the fluff ball the attention she obviously deserved.
Six Days Later
How had it gone by that quickly? How in the world was it Friday already? It was too quick. I didn't get enough time to mentally prepare for this. I had had a few anxiety attacks over this dinner during the last few days that I had no idea how I was going to survive tonight.
Yelena had been so supportive during the last few days that it made me so incredibly grateful to have her in my life. She helped me stay calm when my anxiety would spike and helped me plan out the evening and what the hell we were going to eat. I wasn't the best cook. Yelena was phenomenal, so she kind of became incharge of figuring out the meal.
We had decided on burgers, picking something that was both easy to make and I knew my parents would like it. Yelena made the patties while I had been put incharge of the grill, claiming that "I'm good at burning things."
As the hour of 5 pm closed in, I could feel my thoughts begin to go crazy. What if they hadn't changed and this dinner was going to be terrible? I didn't care anymore what they said or thought of me. I just didn't want them to go crazy at Yelena. I knew she was capable of protecting herself, but still. She was more important to me than anything. I just want to keep her safe.
But what if they had changed and they were willing to accept me and were trying to patch things up? It would be nice but I have no idea how I would process that. I just spent the last two years of my life believing that our relationship could never be fixed.
I sighed quietly and shook my head, trying to get my overthinking out of my mind.
I looked up from where I was at the stove when the doorbell rang.
They were here. Actually here.
Leaving Yelena in the kitchen, I shuffled over to the door, exhaling briefly before pulling it open.
God, they really looked the same.
My mom was a few inches shorter than me with thick, short brown hair and the look of boredom that seemed to be permanently plastered on her face. My dad was several inches taller than me, his short cropped hair seemed shorter than ever with his glasses perched on his nose. I couldn't believe he still had the same frames. He had had those since I was like ten.
"Hi mom, dad." I said, pulling on a smile and inviting them in.
My mom pulled me into a quick hug, which kind of surprised me, and my dad gave me a gentle side hug. Out of both my parents, my dad had always been my favorite. He was always pretty chill, just going along with whatever my mom ordered him to do.
"Welcome to the apartment. Bathroom is right down the hall if you need it." I just stand there awkwardly, watching them take off their shoes and begin to wander around the apartment living room.
"You have a lovely apartment, y/n." my mom commented, picking up one of the framed photos of me and Yelena off of the coffee table.
"Where's your roommate?" my dad asked, plopping down on the couch.
As if on cue, Yelena appears at my side.
"Mom, dad, meet my roommate, Yelena." I motion towards the blonde. "Yelena, this is my dad, Robert, and my mom, Krista."
"It's a pleasure to meet you both." Yelena says with a smile, glancing between my parents. I could tell they were slightly surprised by Yelena's thick Russian accent. I don't think they were expecting it. Honestly, I was just used to it by now.
"Well, dinner is ready. Y/n, if you'll help me move the stuff to the table?" Yelena announced, breaking an awkward silence that had fallen.
"Yeah, of course." I glanced at her and followed her into the kitchen, hearing my parents shuffle over to the kitchen table.
"You alright?" she whispers to me, grabbing a bowl of salad.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." I reply, picking up the tray of hamburger patties and carrying it to the table.
To be honest, I was freaking out. It was weird, seeing them again after two years. How could they act like nothing happened? How could they act like everything was normal?
I placed the tray down and went back into the kitchen, Yelena following me close behind.
"Also, I'm sorry in advance if they say or ask anything weird." I mumble, grabbing the buns and a few of the other small things we would need.
"This will be interesting." Yelena giggled, following me back to the table.
I just rolled my eyes at her as we both sat down.
"This looks great, Yelena. Thank you for doing all this." My mom smiled at my girlfriend, who just laughed lightly in return.
"Well y/n helped too. I put her in charge of the grill since she's great at burning things." Yelena joked, trying to lighten the tense mood. It half worked. My mom laughed slightly while my dad just smiled. I grinned nervously at Yelena as she gave me a reassuring look.
We began grabbing plates of food when my dad cleared his throat, causing both myself and Yelena to glance up at him.
"We should pray before we begin." he says, folding his hands together and bowing his head.
Oh yeah, religious.
I caught Yelena's eyes, who was trying to hold in a laugh, and we followed my dad's actions.
One extremely awkward prayer later, we began eating. I had to admit, the burgers were great. I think the others enjoyed them. My parents seemed pleasantly surprised at Yelena's ability to cook, probably grateful that I was living with someone who wouldn't let me starve.
Small talk started up between my parents and Yelena. They began questioning her about generic things, like what she did for work, her parents, any family, her past. She of course didn't say the truth, that she was a trained assassin and was raised in the Red Room. She created quite the cover story that if I didn't know any better, I would have believed her. They seemed to buy it.
Minutes turned to hours as we slowly cleared the food on the table, feeling incredibly full.
"Well, why don't the three of you move to the living room while I clear the dishes." Yelena offered, scooting her chair back and standing up.
"I can help." I tried, not wanting to be left alone with my parents.
"It's okay, I've got it." Yelena pushed back.
I just nodded, knowing better than to argue about this. They were my parents, I should at least try and make conversation with them. Most of the dinner time talk had been between my mom and Yelena, with the inclusion of my mom's usual statements about politics.
Both my parents sat down on the couch while I took the armchair right next to it. I was about to start some kind of conversation when my mom beat me to it. She began questioning me about work, wanting to know how that was going, about how life was going in the two years since I had last seen them. I answered to the best of my ability, trying to sound like I was enjoying the conversation.
I was still confused as to why the hell they were here in the first place. They were acting like nothing had happened two years ago, like they had done nothing wrong. I still couldn't believe they were actually sitting in my living room, but yet here we are.
A few minutes later, Yelena appeared in the living room, pulling one of the kitchen table chairs into the room and sitting down next to me.
"So for the last few months we've been looking for a new church." My mom blurted out. Oh boy, here comes the church talk. "We found one and had lunch with the head pastor a few weeks ago. He has this lovely son around your age. He has his own business and is just a wonderful person."
This whole comment threw me off. Sure I was used to the church talk since I had grown up with it, but it had been a hot minute since my mom had tried to set me up with some random kid from church.
"That's nice." It came out a bit more bluntly than I intended to. I glanced at Yelena briefly, who was just staring daggers at my mom because of what she was insinuating.
"You should come down one weekend. You can meet him, maybe go out with him." My dad had chimed in now.
"Wait, are you trying to set me up with him?" I asked. "You do remember that I'm gay, right?"
"Come on, y/n. You're seriously not still in that phase, are you?" My dad asked kind of aggressively.
"Like I told you two years ago, it's not a phase." I replied defensively, not exactly surprised that the conversation has gone here.
"Oh please, you just haven't met the right man yet. We're trying to help you out here. Be grateful." my mom chimed in, matching my dad's aggressive tone of voice.
When she said that, I looked again at Yelena. If looks could kill, my parents would be dead on the ground. I knew she wanted to tell them off, saying that she was girlfriend, but I beat her to it.
"I don't need to find the right man, mom. However, I met the right woman, and that just so happens to be Yelena." I shot back.
I think this took my parents by surprise because they both hesitated in their responses.
"Y/n, come home with us. We can get you back in the church and straighten this all out. It's not too late to come back and apologize for your sins." My mom tried again, this time sounding as innocent and pleading as possible.
"No, there's nothing wrong with me. I don't need fixing." I said calmly, knowing that I was close to blowing up.
They didn't like this answer. Something in my mom snapped. I saw the change in her eyes.
"You know what, if it wasn't for you," my mom stood up and began jabbing a finger at Yelena, "she would be normal, and not so messed up in the head."
Yelena just stared at her, unphased.
"You bitch, you came into her life and screwed her up. It's your fault she's-" my mom continued, coming closer to the blonde.
That's when I snapped.
"Back off mom! You don't get to call her names like that. She's done nothing wrong." I stood up and got between Yelena and my mom, preventing one from trying to take a swing at the other. "If you want to yell at someone, yell at me. Just leave my girlfriend out of this."
"Oh I will yell at you, because you need a serious lesson between right and wrong." My mom was now in my face, poking me in the shoulder as she spoke.
"I think it's time you should leave." I said calmly, knowing that yelling at her to leave wouldn't help the situation.
"We will, but you're coming with us." my dad finally chimes in, standing up from his spot, trying to order me.
"The both of you will leave, but I am staying here." I state firmly.
"You're coming with us." my mom grabbed my arm as she spoke.
I heard Yelena stand up from her chair behind me.
"Please let go of me. I'm asking you both, politely, to leave and get off my property." I could feel my anger bubbling up, but also fear for what my mom could do to me.
"Or what?" she tried, keeping her grip on my arm.
"We'll call the police." I threatened, telling them how serious I was about wanting them gone.
"Would you call the police on your own parents?" my dad asked, slightly shocked.
"In a heartbeat. But I won't have to if you would kindly leave." my gaze shifted between the both of them, just wanting this whole ordeal to be over.
"Fine. We will leave. But this won't be the last of us." my mom dropped my arm and moved to collect her things. My dad followed suit, being the follower that he is.
They both grabbed their coats and put on their shoes in silence, then moved to the door. They took one last glare at me and Yelena, then opened the door and left. Yelena closed and locked the door behind them, letting out a quiet sigh that they were finally gone.
It felt like my legs were going to give out, so I slowly sank into the chair that Yelena had previously occupied. She turned and came over to me.
"Are you alright?" she asked quietly, crouching down to reach my eye level.
I just nodded, noticing my eyes beginning to mist over.
"Honestly, that went better than I expected." I chuckled, my voice catching slightly in my throat. I hadn't expected tonight to go smoothly, but I still hoped that they would find some way of accepting me. I guess I was wrong. They hadn't changed, but maybe one day they would.
"I know tonight was a lot. I'm sorry it didn't go the way you wanted." she said quietly, taking my hands in hers. She began rubbing her thumbs against the back of my hands in an attempt to calm me.
"It's alright. I knew it wouldn't go well. I'm just surprised they didn't try to pray the devil out of me." I half smiled at my attempt at a joke.
Yelena just laughed at me, scrunching up her nose in the way I had come to adore.
Then I suddenly pulled her into a hug, grateful to have her in my life, grateful that she was capable of loving me.
"I love you." I whispered, burying my face in the crook of her neck.
"I love you too." she replied back, tracing shapes on my back as we just sat there holding each other.
I didn't care about what other people thought of me. All I knew was that I had the most important person in my life right in front of me. I was content with that, with just holding her in my arms.