Rouli couldn't believe her eyes. The Duke was walking right next to her holding a lamp to guide the way.
It was the night of the new moon but the estate has life all around it.
The trees swayed. Around them fireflies were dancing and crickets were humming.
"Was it hard? All these years."
She lifted her head as she heard that voice and smiled.
"It is." She can't lie. She never lied.
Rouli could pretend to everyone that she was a virtuous wife but Li Yun knew her enough.
Li Yun saw her crescent eyes illuminated. Somehow, it was painful to hear her say that.
"I won't say sorry." He tried clearing his throat.
"Yes, I know you're insufferable."
The Duke was startled. It had been years since he last heard that line of hers. Rouli became "docile" since they got married, that he almost forgot how she really was when they were teens.
Li Yun kept swallowing the thing trying to block his throat as his eyes also got hot. How much did she have to change just to be worthy of her title? The Duchess.
He stopped walking. The image of the little chubby girl in his childhood that kept beating him in their spars coincided with the woman in front of him now.
Her hair would hang back as she laughed maniacally while holding a wooden sword. The wooden sword that would always hack away at him.
Now walking ahead of him was the Duchess with careful steps and a timid voice.
Huang Li Yun didn't know if it was the accumulated exhaustion over the years but he suddenly felt regrets and longing. Like he let go of something really important while trying to find his family.
He saw her hand peeking from her sleeves and tried to hold it but stopped mid-way.
Rouli must have felt the breeze so she looked back. "Is something the matter, my Lord?"
But all she saw was a single tear falling down the Duke's cheek. Her eyes widened and she quickened her pace toward him.
"What happened?" She lost her poise.
Li Yun shook his head. "M-may I hold you?"
"Wh-what?!"
Before she could agree or refuse, the Duke was already falling toward her and all she could do was catch him. It seemed like he lost strength in his legs.
The lamp fell to the ground, and the flame slowly extinguished.
What in the Goddess' name?!
The worst thing was she could hear him sniffling as his arms clung to her.
"I--I suddenly miss my Xiao Zu Zong."
>小祖宗 (Xiao ZuZong) - A Chinese phrase meaning "My Little Ancestor" (he called her like she was a gangster boss rofl)<
Rouli froze hearing that old nickname. Li Yun felt how stiff she was before she exploded in laughter.
She laughed so hard that the whole estate might have heard it. No one ever saw the Duchess being this unrestrained.
But Rouli's hold on the Duke remained steady. In fact, she probably gained the strength to hold him tighter.
Li Yun felt her chest heave up and down as she laughed.
"Are you stupi-?" Rouli caught herself but the Duke heard her loud and clear.
He didn't raise his head. He knew this much weight didn't bother her. She could probably even carry something that weighed twice as the duke.
"I'm not. I'm Li Yun."
Pfft. She was about to laugh again but she held herself back this time.
He buried himself more in her embrace and Rouli heard a muffled, "I'm sorry. I'm home."
Then he passed out.
HE PASSED OUT?!
Rouli clenched her fists and wanted to punch him like when they were kids.
"Fuuuuh!" She exhaled to calm herself down.
You son of a $&#*$##! I will toss you to that fake mountain! How dare you sleep in the middle of walking me back?
The Duchess put her husband behind her and since her quarters were nearer, she went straight there.
All the while, she had a pondering look. Shaking her head once in a while as if some thought bothered her.
What did he mean home? Sorry? She scoffed. Like that could solve anything.
The servants of Mandarin Blooms courtyard saw their mistress rushing with a sack on her back.
A sack?
They got flustered and hurried to receive her. But as she got closer, they could hear her grumbling.
"Damn it. I even ran but he the movement didn't wake up. What kind of good-for-nothing..."
"I-it's the Master!" One servant was so shocked that she fell on her butt.
"Prepare another room." Rouli looked livid as she stormed to her room and tossed the Duke on her bed.
Her head maid went after her to hopefully assist but she did everything by herself.
The Duchess took off the Duke's shoes and outer jacket, leaving him in his inner wear.
"Mistress, please don't look at the Master like you're going to eat him."
Rouli's head snapped at her trusted attendant's direction. "Do I look like that kind of woman?!"
The maidservant chuckled. "No, it's just that it's been a while since I saw you this energetic."
The Duchess was at a loss. She was fuming and her maid called it being energetic.
She left the room in exasperation but she couldn't help but look back.
This was real. Li Yun was a warrior who let down his guard in front of her, just like old times.
Feeling her nose sour, she lifted her head so the tears wouldn't fall.
She strode to the backyard to hide her turbulent emotions.
It was tiring to hope and wait.
Rouli had been full of hope when she married him. She wanted to bring joy back into his life.
But he didn't even give her the chance. The night of their wedding, he didn't dare touch her. He stayed in her chamber for a week before going off to distant islands to aid in war.
Rouli loved him, she still did. But she was tired. Tired of getting hurt. Tired of looking from afar.
She knew that she was a good Duchess. The people of the Huang territory loved her. Maybe that was enough.
Li Yun shouldn't play with her like this. It was unfair.
Just as she was somewhat used to living with an estranged husband, he would do these things that would confuse her.
Rouli clapped her hands over her cheeks. It was a little louder than she thought but no one would dare disturb her.
"I'm strong. I will survive even if he goes away again."
But why were there tears in her eyes?
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A/N: The update is here! I had an emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting day but I knew some of you are still waiting for this. 😊