ELIAS HAD NICE fingers, it was the only body part of his that I dared to stare at.
"Are you trying to copy my work?" His words stunned me out of my reverie, in a voice so husky that it left me thinking of Siberian Huskies. It probably had to do with the fact that his fingers were alongside his meticulously completed worksheets.
"Not at all," I rushed out as I averted my gaze. "Speaking of work..."
I pictured this moment before I fell asleep last night. I did as planned, reaching into my bag (that was on the floor) and allowing my chest to brush against Elias in some way. The plan executed itself successfully. By the time I emerged from down below, I had two lab reports in my hands, and a set of boobs that had lost their 'physical-touch-with-Elias' virginity.
Unfortunately, Elias must be very accustomed to females rubbing their boobs against him, because he did not react in the way I wanted him to. Actually, he didn't react at all. It was more along the lines of,
"Hey, you actually did it!"
"Ask me what I stayed up doing last night," I said under my breath, in a desperate attempt to recreate yesterday's sexual tension.
Elias lifted his eyes from the lab reports to look into mine. Note to self: never say anything that would cause Elias to stare into your eyes ever again. The moment his eyes met mine, my limbs became jelly and my heart began palpitating in my throat. I gulped what felt like incoming hyperventilation.
"What did you stay up doing last night?"
But there was no sexual tension. Just a bunch of nerves (on my end) and what looked like amusement (on his end).
"The lab reports," I tried to inject some semblance of huskiness in my voice. I ended up sounding like I had a sore throat.
"Hot," Elias uttered, before breaking into a charming smile. The very one that allowed him to charm his way up the Student Council hierarchy. It took a Herculean effort to peel my eyes away from his dimples.
But there it was - the esteemed Sexual Tension™. You're hotter, I wanted to say in reply. But Dr. Nguyen began talking, and that dispelled all fostered fantasies of my wedding with Elias. Kidding. Who the fuck marries these days.
Something very peculiar happened thirty minutes into Chemistry class: Elias tried to speak to me.
"So," he enlaced his fingers - not staring, but I see things in my peripheral vision, this was one of the things. "How's Richmond Park?"
Dr. Nguyen was still speaking at the front. But against the knowledge that Elias had spoken to me, Nguyen's droning about oxidation became white noise to my ears. I enlaced my fingers, because mirroring is a primal indication of a human's desire to mate.
"It's okay," I said at first.
"Yeah?" He prodded, as though knowing that I was holding back.
At that moment, I had two choices. I could lie to him and tell him that I am enjoying my time here, thus cementing this image of a carefree, simple female in his head. Or I could tell the the VP of the Student Council that their Council made outliers like myself feel alienated.
"I may have exaggerated," I sighed, already regretting the path I was descending. "It's not okay here."
Elias seemed shocked. "Not okay?"
I shook my head. I'm lonely as fuck, I wanted to say. But I changed the delivery of my words in the nick of time. "I didn't even want to come here."
Elias nodded (I could see this in my peripheral vision). "You'll change your mind, give this place a chance."
"Your faction system is stupid."
Elias's jaws dropped.
"I'm kidding," I quickly said in a sincerely kidding voice, even though I was anything but that.
"Sure." Elias finally said. The syllable was too short for me to scope the extent of how much I had offended him. So I assumed the worst.
I focused my attention to the front, where Dr. Nguyen had loads to say about oxidation, as evidenced in "...electrons are transferred from one species to another. This is why we need to write half equations, it's to show the gain of electrons in a species!"
And then Elias's hands rested on my arms. I became hyperaware of the fact that I had not shaved in three days. Then he leaned over. I became hyperaware of the fact that the pores on the right side of my face were a bit bigger than those on the left.
It happened in quick succession, but if you asked, I could explain in intricate detail how his warm breath had tickled my ears in such a delicious manner in preparation for the question he was going to deliver.
"Are you a Christian?"
But just like that, the moment had fizzled out. Are you a Christian? I did not come to this school to get converted.
I shook my head and brushed his hands away from my arms. At the front, Dr. Nguyen was all, "reactions involving transfer of electrons are called reduction and oxidation reactions, or redox for short."
Strangely enough, my response made Elias... excited? Not sure if I have the right term. But he'd scooted closer with a heightened breathing pace.
"You should come anyways. We have a gathering sort of thing tonight - catered for the Christian community to share inspiring stories, but this can be a good opportunity for you to meet great people," he spoke in a near whisper. "Like I said, give this place a chance."
I was pretty damn sure at this point that half the class was staring at us. The back half, anyway, since we were seated somewhere in the centre.
I only noticed Dr. Nguyen had stopped talking when I strained my ears to hear his droning about redox reactions but was met with silence. A curious glance in his direction alerted me that the Vietnamese professor was staring at us with a tight lipped smile.
"Do you two have anything to share with the class?"
Elias pulled away as though I was hot coal.
"No, Dr. Nguyen." He responded on behalf of the both of us. "I was just explaining what you just explained to her."
We said nothing to each other until the bell rang, signalling the end of our schooling session for the day. Elias the evangelist wasted no time.
"Well?" He asked me, with excitement in his eyes that reminded me of puppies. In a good way.
"I don't know anyone though," I said earnestly.
"That's why I think you should come," He responded, looking me dead in the eye.
Somehow, the idea in itself that Elias was trying to evangelize was so repulsive that I became desensitized to his charms. All of a sudden, he wasn't this guy with fucking beautiful eyes and charms that could kill. All of a sudden, all I saw was someone who was so afraid of death that he had to conform to an ideology associated with delayed gratification, extended cooperation and restricted sociosexuality.
Let's just say I didn't have the best experience when it comes to religious extremists (read: Grandmother).
"Sandra?"
"It's Andrea, not Sandra."
"But you said... oh," his face turned sheepish as it dawned upon him. "I misheard you yesterday, didn't I?"
I began scooping up my scattered stationery as the class was clearing and I did not want to be the last one to leave. All of a sudden, I had things to do. Things like phoning my mother to tell her what a blast I'm having, things like going through the 5 hour video called 'An Introduction to Electrochemistry'.
But I had underestimated Elias. I learnt this the hard way when he revealed a different expression than his usual Smile With A Tinge of Amusement. This was a concerned expression, one that spoke volumes about how he genuinely cared - I knew I was just an emotional mess because I hadn't been getting the attention I deserved. But fuck.
"Did I say something wrong?"
And he was being sincere. Elias was genuinely a nice person who was trying to help.
"No," I pursed my lips. "You can leave, your friends are waiting outside the class."
"Come for tonight's gathering," his eyes lit up in hope, it was the epitome of boyishness, an expression that frequented so many faces of our children unaware of the macabre nature of our world.
And how could one decline him, it would be child abuse. I felt protective, the longer I stared at his face, the more I felt like this glint of hope in his eyes had to be protected so it would not fizzle out. I'd known Elias for two days. I'd known emotional manipulators for fifteen years. Yet those eyes made me weak in the fucking gut.
"If I go, please don't act like we're strangers." I said with a bit of difficulty.
But he was all cucumber-esque kind of cool. "I'll keep you by my side the whole time."
My heart skipped two beats as earlier thoughts laced with animosity got thrown out of the window. What?
Beyond the four walls of this classroom, several voices called for Elias's name. But they were the static of a dysfunctional television against the chocolate smooth voice that worded Elias's next question.
"Do you want my number?"
"Do I?" I asked back, dumbly.
He bit back a grin, and I thought I knew infatuation until I met this person. For if anything with past lovers had been so-called infatuation, this thing I had with Elias would be the epitome and height of karmic love.
My skin tingled when Elias grabbed a pen, uncapped it and scrawled digits upon the palm of my hands.
"Text me."
✖️✖️✖️
So, when Elias invited me to this party thing, I clearly forgot that I only packed a certain kind of clothing with me. The kind that was manufactured for 'religious reasons', if you glean what I'm trying to say here.
In addition to everything that was already bad, it was only September. So while I may feel hot (in the literal sense) wearing my long sleeved clothes and baggy pants, I may not look that hot (in the abstract, figurative sense) at all.
Where is this thing, I found myself texting the number on my palms before God forbid they get washed off with water. I hoped upon hope that Elias wouldn't be one of those people who took ages to text back.
For the umpteenth time, I was strolling campus grounds alone. The food in my mini fridge was running out. So I sighed and I made a U-turn, walking a familiar path to the cafeteria.
The moment I pushed the doors open, a waft of freshly cooked food hit my senses and rendered my stomach growling. After having nothing but cold sandwiches and canned food for three days, a girl should be allowed to fantasize about warm food against her tongue.
I didn't even mind sitting apart from the esteemed robots in Faction 5. At this point, all I wanted was food.
Which was why I didn't take too kindly to Jaxon Ortega who tried to start a conversation with me whilst I was queueing for cheesy quesadillas that smelled so good. All I wanted was the Mexican food stall's DOTD (Delicacy of the Day).
"What a lone wolf," Jaxon went.
He could have been talking to anyone, but considering the fact he was right behind me, and that everyone else around us was surrounded by friends... It was safe to assume that he was indeed aiming the insult at me. So I didn't deign to reply him. I knew if I did, it wouldn't be a nice reply.
"Have you tried their quesadillas?" Jaxon spoke again.
"No..." But my mouth watered at the mention of the Q-word.
"Well don't. They're shitty."
"Oh."
I was only five students away from getting myself the quesadillas. My stomach gave a rumbling growl, and I was infinitesimally grateful for the loud chatter of every other student in the cafeteria that allowed my growl to go unheard.
When I reached the counter, I smiled at the lunch lady. "One serving of quesadilla please."
Behind me, I heard Jaxon going, "Christ. Okay you asked for it."