School seemed to drag by, every month it was harder and harder to find time to see Ben. A new school year started and while I desperately wanted to see him when I had the chance, he had better things to do (usually with Michelle). We were only 16, and somehow I found myself knee deep in the relationship drama of an adult.
Ben was driving me away. I was meeting other people. People that I saw happiness in. When I looked into their eyes I saw what I wanted. I almost broke up with Ben a couple of times, but I didn't have the guts.
Grade eleven had found us and while our fighting was dragging us apart, we were still struggling for the strength to pull ourselves back together. Ben used to point the finger at me for all of our problems. Perhaps it was the time and effort I put into the relationship or perhaps it was just my sheer stubbornness but there was something that was driving me to refuse to give up on our relationship. It meant too much to me.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. My 16th year came crashing down around me. My best friend, my confidant...my grandpa had passed away. He battled cancer for a couple of years and the disease stole him away from me shortly after New Years of 2007. I very strongly remember my dad waking me up to tell me the news, and that he called in to work for me so I could stay home with them for a few days.
I just remember being furious with my father. Furious that he would call work and have me stay home. Furious that he would tell me that my grandpa was gone. Furious at the world for cancer even being a thing. I got up out of bed, got dressed and marched my stubborn self to work anyways. I lived a few short blocks from the coffee shop I worked at. It was inside another store where some of my friends worked. I thought being distracted by business and friends would help me cope with the news. I was so horribly wrong. I ended up leaving work anyways because the reality of the situation hit me like a firetruck in the middle of trying to function.
It wasn't long after this that I moved to live with my grandma. She was left behind, being almost 1000km away from us and she needed me. I completed grade 11 with her, and she was nice enough to fly Ben out to visit me a couple of times.
We had been together for a year now, and while we were spending less time together we were somehow managing to keep our relationship alive. Once I finished grade 11 I made the decision to move back home. I went back to my old school with my old friends and started my final year of high school. I had a new job and my parents were starting to be more open with the idea of dating or at least hanging out with boys. I tested the theory out several times with a friend of mine, Jason. I used to ask my dad if we could hang out and he was okay with it. It was the first time my parents allowed me to hang out with a boy.
My parents still didn't approve of Ben, however, and I'm pretty sure they were under the impression that he and I were just friends at this point. It took me several months but I worked up the courage to ask my dad if Ben could escort me to my prom and he said "maybe". I was so over the moon ecstatic that my dad would even give him a chance! My dad, the stubborn man who normally would've shot me down instantaneously! I was so excited to tell Ben the great news!
I remember sending him a message online asking if he wanted to come to my prom with me. I was expecting the obvious "yes" from him but after a long drawn out silence on his end he said he didn't think he wanted to go at all. Ben told me that because he didn't like my parents he didn't want to go with me. Why was that my fault? I am not my parents. I am me. You should want to go to my ONCE in a lifetime event to celebrate it with me. A fight ensued and we didn't speak for a few days. About three days later there was a random knock at my door. Ben had his mom drive to my house to apologize to me. Ben knew this was a terrible idea, being that he was already on thin ice with my dad and showing up unexpectedly at the door was probably just asking for trouble.
My dad answered the door, and there stood my 5"4 tall boyfriend standing in front of my 6"7 dad demanding to speak to me. My dad told him to go home but Ben demanded that I come to the door. He even had the guts to say that It didn't matter if he had upset me, or that I was crying because I was his girlfriend and that was okay. He treated me more like his property than his love. I don't know if it was courage or stupidity but you don't stand in front of my dad and demand something. Especially something so precious as his only daughter. To say my dad is protective would be an extreme understatement.
It took me a lot of nagging to get my dad to stop at the dress store one day so I could "browse" dresses. My mom and I walked in and something was calling to me at the back of the store. I bee lined it right to the very back and there it was. This beautiful sapphire/teal blue princess dress sparkling under the lights. I was madly in love with it and I had to try it on. I slipped it on and it fit like a glove. It hugged my curves in all the right places and made me feel like a million bucks. 20 minutes of me asking nicely and being the daddy's girl that I am and it was mine.
By the time our grade twelve graduation came I ended up at prom alone. Jason had intended to escort me since Ben wasn't coming but we ended up in a fight shortly before. Something about him misunderstanding that I was still with Ben and he thought perhaps we were going as a couple. He wasn't speaking to me for several months after this, including prom.
Since I had no date and I was miserable about it my dad had to talk me into even attending. He dragged me out of bed and my mom and grandma took me to the salon to get my hair and makeup done. Then, we went back home so I could start getting dressed and my dad presented me with a corsage. My heart broke into a million pieces. No man had ever gotten me flowers and here was my dad asking me if he could be my date to prom.
Ben didn't pass his first attempt at grade twelve, so he knew he would have to go back in a year. He moved with his family three hours from the city to a lakeside property and was going to start attending a new school. I started my first year of college and It was hard to keep in touch, and eventually I got sloppy with hiding our relationship. My mom found out that I was still dating Ben and kicked me out of the house. I was 18 years old and homeless for about 2 hours. Ben's parents said I could live with them until he graduated High School. Ben wasn't due to be back in town for a week because he and his parents were vacationing in Cuba. I ended up couch surfing with friends a few towns over until I could catch a greyhound and make my way to my new home.
Life felt like it was back to normal again, Ben and I could be together and my parents couldn't stop us anymore. Although I loved my mom and dad, they still didn't understand how much Ben meant to me and they never would. My dad didn't speak to me anymore and the only one who accepted our relationship was my grandma. She used to make special trips out to see me to bring me clothes, and some of my stuff and make sure that I was okay. We lived at the lake for a year while Ben finished school. We did so many amazing things. We boated, we went tubing, we fished, we joined a dart league, we went swimming, I learned to waterski and wakeboard, we went shopping, we went hiking, we went quading.. and then it ended.
Ben was done school, prom was over, and his parents had been fighting a lot. We couldn't take living there any longer so we made plans to move back home.
We brought the kitten we had adopted a few months prior, and rented a house in a decent neighborhood in our old city again. We had our own family going and we were so proud of it. Ben had a hard time finding work, so I took extra waitressing shifts to support us. Rent and groceries were on me. At first I didn't complain, because the way I saw it, I was supporting a life I wanted. It wasn't until he took up online gaming and started ignoring me that I began to feel used and unappreciated.
Ben was addicted to this silly game. He would spend all day playing it and then not want to spend time with me when I was finally home with him. We had happy days, but the majority of our relationship was strained at this point. My dad was talking to me again but our relationship just wasn't the same. He refused to come over if Ben was there, and he and Ben never spoke.
After Christmas, we agreed to adopt a puppy. Our landlord was originally okay with it, until she changed her mind at the last minute and left us hanging with the ultimatum of get rid of the dog or move. After a long deliberation we agreed to move. I still worked double shifts to take care of our bills, and he still claimed to be looking for work. It took him 6 months after we moved to find a new job.
He now had the opportunity to make as much money as he wanted, all he had to do was work hard. He worked in sales and it would have been easy for him to start helping out more with bills. I too found a better paying job, and soon our lives were improving. We had our cat and our dog and we even added another cat into the mix.
Though we fought at times, we loved each other. I believed we were going to be together forever..it wouldn't be the first time I was wrong.