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Wazzzzzuuup! Here is your weekly UPDATE! Yer welcome ;) Alrighty ENJOY! Pleeeeease don't forget to vote and comment my lovely people! I really enjoy seeing what you guys think about my story/chapter :) ALRIGHTY LOVE YOU HOMIES!! <3
P.S. - I kinda really like this chapter because you get to see more of why Isabelle is the way she is.. mwhahaha annnnnd I got some cutesy Hazzy action going on :3
P.P.S - This will probably be the last update for a week or two... POSSIBLY, NOT FOR SURE YET. But yeah, I gots a lot of school work to catch up on :'(
P.P.P.S - The pic on the side is of Harry's room :) I freaking LOVE it! The next chapter will have a pic of Harry's bathroom ;)
P.P.P.P.S - I know I'm kinda late on this buuuuut the North American Where We Are Tour Dates have been released and AHHHHHH! It's safe to say I have a DIRE NEED TO GET TICKETS!! Hopefully, I'll be able to get floor seats when the go on sale on Saturday... WISH ME LUCK!! <3
~✻S✻~
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~Isabelle~
Scenes flash across my closed eyelids as I slowly gain consciousness.
My father.
A piece of paper, lying on my 5 year-old, princess bedspread.
Damien.
A text message, cold and heartbreaking.
My eyes fly open, a scream caught in my throat. As I gasp in air, I feel the streams of tears falling down my face. I move to get up, but an arm and leg are casually thrown over me, preventing my movement. I glance to my side, the familiar darkness crawling up my spine.
Harry is fast asleep, not even aware of my breakdown. The darkness begins to seep into every particle of my being as the tears fall faster, images darting through my mind, feeding and encouraging the maleficent eclipse.
Quickly, I shove the heavy limbs from my body with a renewed strength, garnered by the increasing need to get away.
I slide out of the bed and rush towards a door, not even bothering to take in my surroundings. I shove myself out of the door, trying to hold the consuming memories back.
The darkness grows, leisurely taking my body over as my pathetic attempts of stopping it, fail.
I rush towards the first thing I see, stairs. I run down them, not caring about noise or anything; except for the overwhelming urge to fight, fight the darkness away.
Tears continuously stain my cheeks as I race towards another door across from the stairs. I surge through it, slamming it closed behind me.
I scramble over to a corner, right next to a washer machine. I let my back hit the wall and slide down until I'm curled up, trying to hold myself together. A sob leaves my mouth as the memories take ahold of me once again. Four words, repeatedly scrolling across my squeezed shut eyelids.
You're not good enough.
A wail escapes my hoarse throat, the darkness almost entirely taking me over. My mind is in a haze, unable to think clearly and no longer able to withstand my impending doom.
Suddenly, the door bursts open and a light flickers on. My bloodshot eyes flicker up to see a tall figure looming at its entrance. I don't even spare the person more than a few seconds before my eyes are glued back to the ground, whimpers ushering out of me.
"Oh my god." A masculine voice utters.
I ignore it, my body convulsing in sobs, the darkness almost fully consuming me.
I hear a muffled scuffling as strong arms encircle me. I'm quickly pulled into a hard, yet warm, body; their arms and legs enveloping me.
I'm stiff at first, but when a glowing light leaks into me, the darkness begins to recede, allowing my body to relax a bit.
I wrap my arms around a rock hard torso and press my face into the soft fabric of a T-Shirt. I continue to cry, the tears seemingly never ending. However, the longer I stay wrapped up in this person's arms, the more the darkness retreats, along with the agonizing memories.
My tears begin to slow as hands soothe small circles into my tensed back. The more time that passes, the harder it is for the darkness to remain steadfast. I listen to the heavy, yet even breathing that moves my head up and down, matching my breaths to theirs.
As I sense more of the golden light seeping into my core, the darkness cannot withstand its' position any longer and promptly disappears. However, it leaves a message for my now clear mind to interpret. It would've completely taken me over, without mercy, and that has never happened before. Ever.
I was millimeters away from being lost; lost to an uncontrollable and malevolent darkness. I whimper, the thought daunting.
"Shhhh, it's ok. It's all going to be ok." A male voice whispers and my tears finally stop, his mellifluous voice effectively soothing me.
~Liam~
I'm awoken by a continuous thumping. I groan, mushing my face into my pillow trying to stifle the sound of elephants running around the house. Suddenly the noise stops and it's quite.
I slowly begin to sink back into a deep slumber when a resounding slam of a door has me jolting fully awake. What the hell!?
I sit up and throw my comforter off of me, quickly rising to my feet. I exit my room and look down the hallway, glancing around. Nobody.
My brow furrows as I begin slowly walking to the stairs. Before I begin going down them, I catch the sight of Harry's door slightly open. Confusion and curiosity swirl chaotically throughout me, the sleep induced haze that covers me not helping.
I shake my head and start down the stairs. Halfway down, I hear a muffled sob full of an aching despair that pierces my heart. The drowsy haze is swiftly whisked away as I rush down the rest of the stairs, glancing around and trying to find where and who the sound is coming from.
A wail echoes from behind the laundry room door right in front of me. Instantaneously, I scamper towards the door. I burst through it only to come face to face with darkness, so I hastily flip the light switch to my left.
My eyes widen, the image of Isabelle's sunken form slumped against the washer machine, branding itself onto my brain. She looks up at me, her once piercing yet slightly clouded green eyes now bloodshot, full of despair and desperation. Her face is drenched in tears and her bottom lip is bloodied from being bitten too hard. There's something else though. Something about her and in the air that rubs me the wrong way, as if... As if there's something sinister lurking underneath her flawless skin.
She doesn't spare me more than a few seconds before her gaze is locked back on the floor, whimpers ushering out of her. She looks so broken and devastated that I can't help the whispered words of unbelievable surprise that leave my mouth.
"Oh my god."
Isabelle doesn't even acknowledge me, her body starting to convulse in sobs. I immediately rush over to her corner, the door closing behind me and bend down to sit in front of her. I reach my arms out and wrap them around her, pulling her between my legs and to my chest. My thighs press into her sides and my ankles lightly touch her lower back, keeping her close to me.
She's stiff at first, her arms and hands cradled to her chest creating a tiny barrier between her and I as her body shakes with her cries. Slowly though, she begins to relax, her body sinking into mine. Her arms slowly wrap around my torso, squeezing herself to me as her face presses into my chest. She continues to weep, the tears creating a humongous wet spot on my T-Shirt, but I don't care.
I can barely think as her demolished appearance strikes a cord within me. Yes, I want to know what happened to her; why she's currently collapsing into herself. Yet deep within me, there's a part that wants to help her, to stop the pain completely.
Compassion is what my mum would call that emotion and I chalk it up to that. However, a tiny sliver of doubt inside me thinks it's more than that. I ignore it, focusing back on Isabelle.
I run my hands along her back, gently smoothing small circles into her taught muscles. Gradually, the muscles and her body begin to relax; yet, there's still an unnatural stiffness to her and I'm reminded of the ominous presence I had previously felt.
Before I can dwell any longer on that thought, my attention is brought to the warm puffs of steady breath fanning the top of my abdomen. When her breathing matches mine, her body relaxes a bit more. As more seconds pass by, I feel an instantaneous change in her body and the atmosphere. The dark presence is gone.
Isabelle's body deflates, falling completely into me as a whimper escapes her throat.
Finally, I say something; the absolute desperate need to comfort her consuming me. "Shhhh, it's ok. It's all going to be ok." I whisper and I don't feel any more droplets of salty wetness fall onto my chest. Good, she's stopped crying. A small smile creeps onto my face as a celebration of my small feat.
I continue to massage her back and her breath hitches as her body tenses slightly. Before I can do or say anything, she beats me to it.
"I-I'm sorry." She stutters, her squished face slightly muffling her words. "T-this happens s-sometimes whenever my s-shields lower. E-especially when I get d-drunk; t-that's always the w-worst."
All I can do is continue to cradle her, completely shocked that she spoke and utterly perplexed because of her words.
Her small and delicate fists clench the fabric on my back and a tingle goes through my body at the contact. "I-I'm so, so s-sorry." She whimpers, her body tensing even more.
Her anguished voice stabs my insides and I find it hard to breathe. "Y-you don't have to be sorry." I stammer. I take a breath and collect myself. "It's ok, everything's ok." I reassure.
"No. No it's not." She says despairingly, her voice haunted.
It's quite for a couple minutes, but then the need to comfort her fills me yet again. "Isabelle-" I begin but am cut off when her whole body jerks and completely tenses, as if shocked by electricity.
She quickly untangles herself from my hold and stands, her face flushing red. "I-I have to go. I have to leave." She says, her body whipping around and towards the door in seconds.
"Isabelle, no! Wait!" I yell, scrambling up as well. My voice has some effect on her as she freezes right in front of the laundry room door. "I-It's three in the morning and you have no car. How exactly are you planning on leaving?" I reason, my voice gentle.
She grips the doorknob, her knuckles going white as her body heaves up and down with her heavy breathing. I slowly walk up to her, hesitating a bit before I gently place my hand on her shoulder.
It feels as if her body leans and relaxes into my touch, but before I can know for sure, she pulls away from me and opens the door, stepping out into the living room.
"I-I'm tired. I-I'm going to bed." She stutters, throwing her lie at me over her shoulder as she darts away from me and up the stairs.
~Isabelle~
I'd done it again.
I let my shield down.
In front of a random stranger.
Twice, in two days.
What the hell is wrong with me??
Over the past thirteen years, I've become a master at hiding how I truly feel from people. Yet here I am, revealing my darkest secret to two complete strangers; having no control over my shield.
I hang my head, my palm smacking my forehead over and over again as I stand in a long hallway upstairs. I take a deep shuddering breath, trying to pull myself together.
I right myself, scrambling for every scattered piece of pride, and head towards the only slightly opened door in the hallway. I gently push it open and see Harry snoring away in his bed's depths. I heave a sigh, trying to push all the dark thoughts swirling around my brain away and hoping that Harry can calm the brewing storm of self-hatred and regret within me.
However, when I crawl into the bed next to Harry, I feel no safety from his warmth. No light from his touch, ready to battle the hostile darkness away. And as my mind wanders back to how the man from downstairs will act around me, now that he knows there's something hidden beneath my contented façade, I find myself weirdly craving his embrace. The one that gives me the safety and light I desperately need.
I shake my head, throwing those thoughts away. I'm thinking nonsense. Why would I be longing for someone I don't even know? I never asked his name and I never absorbed his appearance. Obviously, he's Niall, Zayn or Liam, but those are just names. Not people I know.
I know Harry and Harry is fun and full of life. He makes me forget about the darkness and that's all I need. I don't need safety or light to fight it off. Because let's face it, the darkness will never be defeated, no matter what. It will always be there, waging a war.
Yet, if I'm distracted, it has no power over me. Harry is my distraction. He keeps the darkness away from the fore-front of my mind.
Harry is the solution; the medicine to keep it at bay.
~Liam~
I just stand there for a good five minutes, staring at the empty doorway where Isabelle once stood. Finally, reality forces its way back into my awareness. I sigh and run a hand through my sleep tousled hair.
Silently, I leave the laundry room and head up the stairs. When I reach the top, I find myself staring at Harry's door. Something deep inside of me aches to go in, grab Isabelle and comfort her; knowing that she's still not ok.
I grunt lowly and push myself away from his door, heading to my own. I open my bedroom door and slip inside, shutting it behind me.
I walk over to my bed and literally fall onto it, my mind still reeling.
How in the world am I going to be able to sleep?
All I can think about is Isabelle, squeezed into that corner as she bears her shattered soul to the washer machine. My brain combs through the whole interaction, replaying her words over and over.
"T-this happens s-sometimes whenever my s-shields lower. E-especially when I get d-drunk; t-that's always the w-worst."
What happens? The breakdown?
Why was she breaking down in the first place?
And what shields? Why even need shields?
I close my eyes, the words that bother me the most ricocheting throughout my skull.
"No. No it's not."
Why? Why won't it be ok? Why is she so emotionally mutilated?
The more I ruminate on everything, the clearer one thought is. She is definitely hiding something, something monumental.
And I'm going to find out what.
~~~~~
~Isabelle~
My eyes slowly open, the crust making them stick together a bit. I reach my hand up and clear away the sleep, now being able to fully open my eyes. What I see completely and utterly confounds me.
The walls are a dark gray and the ceiling is white. Nothing like my room at all. What the heck?
I look down at the absolute most comfortable bed I have ever laid in, seeing a white comforter and a dark gray blanket thrown over my small frame. I sit up quickly and wind up regretting it, the world spinning as my head pounds.
When the marching band finally stops parading around my brain, I try and recognize my surroundings. To the left is just a wall of windows, nothing really helping me identify where I am. I move my head slowly to the right, not wanting the pain to start again. I see an entryway, white dresser, and a nightstand with a dock.
I climb out from under the blanket and step onto the cool, light wooden floor. As I pad across the room towards a closet and another closed door, my feet sink into a black rug in the middle of the room.
As I reach the closet, my feet once again cold, I see hangar upon hangar of men's clothes.
What the absolute fu-. No stop it Isabelle. You are not Violet. You do not curse.... Much.
I smile lightly at that thought but continue my investigation, walking over to the door to the left of the closet. I slowly push it open to find a breathtaking bathroom.
The walls are light gray and the floor is a white and black marble. To the left, there is a wall to wall shower room. Yes, the freaking shower has its own room. It's surrounded by small black and white tiles and the doors are glass. There's a tub on the right side of this amazing 'room' and a couple towels hanging in the middle on the wall, the shower to the left.
There's a black cupboard, white marble sink directly in front of me, along with a mirror. Finally, to the right is a white, porcelain toilet.
Jesus, who the heck has this much money to have such a grandeur room and bathroom?
As I leave the bathroom and head back towards the deliciously comfortable bed, a hammer of pain nails into my temple.
Holy hell this is it. I'm dying. Goodbye world.
With those thoughts however, flashes of images scroll across my clenched eyelids. Harry... Mini golf... wine... kissing... more wine.
Holy hell. I cannot believe I drank that much.
I sit down on, who I now know is Harry's, bed, and face the door that leads into the hallway. Images still jog my memory as the pain lessens; Louis, the laundry room. I sigh, pushing that troublesome image away.
A chime comes from my right and I glance over at Harry's nightstand. My phone is lying there, plugged into a charger.
Why thank you whoever for charging my phone.
I quickly snatch it up and unlock it, looking at my messages.
It says 'Harry' with the naughty little smirk emoji. I smile down at the phone.
Harry: U awake yet babe?
My heart stutters a bit. God, I'm such a weirdo.
Another text comes in.
Harry: If u haven't figured this out yet... I may have put my number in ur phone and texted myself. Cheeeecky ;)
I smile and chuckle to myself, not being able to help it. Leisurely, I scroll up the message screen to find the first text sent by 'me'.
Me: Ur extremely sexy and I'm sorry for throwin up on u last night
OH MY GOD! OHHH MY GOOOD! I threw up on him last night!!!??? WHAT!! NOOOO GOD NOOO PLEASEEEEE!
Oh my lord Jesus I'm pathetic.
Now completely awake, due to my increasingly near panic attack, I text him back.
Me: I'm awake.... Did I really throw up on ya last night?
I sit there, a full minute passing by that feels like an hour, waiting on his response.
Harry: So you saw the text :)
I huff to myself, a bit aggravated and very embarrassed.
Me: Way to answer my question :P
Harry: .......
Me: Haaaaarry
Harry: Alright, fiiiine. U didn't. I was just messin
I smile broadly and pound my fist into the air. Oh thank you sweet Jesus. That would have been unbearably embarrassing.
My celebration is interrupted by another chime. I return my attention to my phone up and read the text.
Harry: Sorry that I'm not there.
I pause, confused. Wait a second, he's right... he's not here. Does he mean not here as in his room or the house?
Me: Ur not here?
Harry: Wow, thanks for noticin before babe... I'm hurt ;)
I roll my eyes, still slightly confused.
Me: Suck it up and answer my question
Harry: Ooooo, feisty in the morning aren't ya?
Me: ........
Harry: And apparently grumpy
I huff once again.
Me: I'm not grumpy.. I'm hungover :P
Harry: Well that's what bein pissed drunk does to ya luv
Me: Yeah well it sucks
Harry: There's some paracetamol in my bathroom ;)
Me: Oh thank Jesus
I get up and head back to his gorgeous bathroom. I walk up to his sink and open the mirror to reveal a medicine cabinet. I grab the paracetamol and pop one into my mouth, drinking a bit of the sink water to wash it down.
Sweet relief, come to mama.
I head back towards the bed, my phone nestled into the comforter. I pick it up and see yet another text from Harry.
Harry: :)
Harry: Anywaay, the reason I'm not there is bc management called all five us in for an emergency meetin
Me: Management?
Harry: They're the people who pretty much handle everythin to do with our job, press, the paps, etc.
Me: Ohhhhh ok
A sigh escapes my mouth without me realizing it. I clamp my lips shut. For some reason, I find it hard to accept that I kinda miss him.
There is something wrong me.
Me: Do u know y it's an emergency?
Harry: No not yet. We just got in.
Harry: Buuuuuut.. I'm sure it won't take that long. U can wait at the house until I come back and we can go out again ;)
A small smile plays on my lips. I glance at the time on my phone and see that it's 11:00 am. I sigh loudly. I need to change, shower... yeah all that good stuff and I can't do that here. Oh the downsides of reality.
I'm about to reply when another thought pops into my head.
Violet.
Holy shitake mushrooms she's gonna kill me. I haven't texted her in over 12 hours.
Oh my god. I didn't even tell her that I wasn't gonna be home last night. I bring my palm up to my forehead. Crap.
Yeah... reality sucks.
Me: I wish I could, but I really need to go home. I've got a few things I need to take care of :/
I send the message, my heart sinking just a tiny bit.
I mentally slap myself.
Get it together Isabelle. Stop being desperate and pathetic.
I grunt at myself, acknowledging my thoughts.
Holy god I'm sorta carrying a conversation with myself. Jesus there really is something wrong with me. I need to be sent to a freaking mental hospital.
My phone chimes once again, distracting me from my internal rant and bringing my attention back to Harry.
Harry: Awww :(
I smile as a warmth grows inside of me, realizing that he's sad that he can't see me.
Hmmmmm, someone's developing feelings. I think in a singsong voice.
Me: Is that... disappointment Mr. Harry Styles?? ;P
Harry: ...Possibly
My heart begins to pound as my smile widens. Holy Jesus does he... fancy me? My foot taps with excitement and nerves, yet I continue texting with a calm demeanor.
Me: Does this mean... ya fancy me? ;)
I sit there, my nerves a mess and my mind in disarray. My heart continues to pound loudly and it comes to the point where I'm afraid it just may leap out of my chest.
Holy God this is not natural.
My phone chimes.
Jesus I am so not ready for this.
Get your crap together Isabelle. Open the damn text.
Oh my god, talking to myself yet again. Jesus.
I push everything aside, all the thoughts and pointless nerves, and open the text.
Harry: ... It does ;)
Oh my Jesus Lord almighty... initiate heart attack.
I take a deep breath before I completely freak out.
Relaxxx. Calmmmm.I think.
I breathe out, focusing on replying.
Me: After only one date? Wow... I must be pretty amazing ;)
Harry: You are.
AHHHHH! SQUEAL!!! I can't help the happy dance that I immediately start to do, while sitting.
OK OK OK! ENOUGH!
I settle down, enveloping myself in my thoughts.
My distraction fancies me. I... I fancy my distraction. A heavy weight lifts off of my shoulders as I affirm what I've been feeling.
Well, as long as the feelings are returned... I don't see a problem. I smile, promising myself to just go with whatever happens between us.
Harry: No 'I fancy you back'? :/
Awww... He's slightly upset I didn't say it back. Adorable.
Me: Hmmm, I'll have to think about it.
I tease, pressing send.
Harry: Oh.
I roll my eyes and type the response he wants, knowing I would've eventually caved in anyways.
Me: I fancy you too ;)
Harry: That's better ;) But I have to go now babe.. the meeting is under way :)
Me: Alright, have fun ;P
Harry: I can't without u ;)
I roll my eyes, my heart skipping a beat. This boy and his ultra-charming ways are gonna kill me.
Dreading what I have to do next, I stand up with my phone in hand. I ignore the feeling of impending doom and just forge ahead with a call. I leave Harry's bedroom, walking down the long hallway with numerous other doors and reach the stairs.
I walk down the stairs as the phone rings, coming to a stop at the bottom and finally being able to fully take in the house's appearance now that I'm not under the influence.
To my right is a fish tank, exotic fish in its depths. Along that wall is a door, possibly leading to a garage? At least that's what I assume. A good six feet in front of that door is a spiral staircase leading down.
Hmmm, they have a basement. Cool.
I push aside my distracting thoughts and look around some more, the phone still ringing.
Right in front of me, across a decent amount of space, is a very familiar door. The door that leads to the laundry room. I close my eyes as what happened late last night, or rather, early in the morning rushes through my brain. I push those thoughts away again, deciding that I'll just deal with all those ridiculous and harmful emotions later.
To my left, is the living room. One white, plush sofa is pressed against the stairs, facing another look-alike sofa. In between the two is a red and black rug adorning the hardwood floor. In front of the carpet, pressed up against the far wall is a plasma screen TV, an Xbox and PlayStation near it. Across from that is another white sofa.
Farther down is a fire place surrounded by a black sofa and two black armchairs.
Oooo, a backyard. I think as I spot a glass backdoor.
Wanting to explore some more with my phone still ringing, I leave the stairs and walk through the open, dim gray walled, space. As I pass the entertainment and the fireplace section, the room narrows and a hallway appears.
I walk down it a bit and to my left is a black door. I gently push it open to reveal a bathroom. The theme matches the rest of the first floor; grey walls, black and red towels scattered about. The toilet and sink are both black and the floor is white tiled.
Me likey.
I exit the bathroom and continue down the hallway. A few feet from the bathroom's entrance, on the right, is an arch. I walk through it and come face to face with the absolute, most spectacular kitchen I have ever seen.
This definitely puts mine to shame.
There's black and white marble counter-tops, black cabinetry, stainless steel appliances (the refrigerator is the god of all refrigerator's), and the walls are a dark gray.
Jesus Lorddddd, I could live in this kitchen... for the rest of my life.
I leave the kitchen just as Violet's voicemail stops the incessant ringing. I hang-up and dial again, seeing the front door as I head to the living room. As soon as I plop down on the couch, a shriek erupts through my phone.
"ISABELLE ROSE WHITE!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?"
Great. This is just gonna be loads of super, amazing fun. Yeah... totally.