Sam
I got to Noah's place by six-fifty at night, but didn't want to be pathetically early to talk to my ex, so I waited until seven-ten in the lobby before going up to his floor. Which I knew was equally pathetic.
My insides were trembling, I was so nervous to speak to Noah. We haven't had a genuine conversation in mouths and I didn't know if this "talk" would officially end ties between us or not.
And that thought terrified me, so with a shaky hand, I knocked on Noah's front door which I was all too familiar with. It wasn't Noah, but his roommate- who I still don't remember the name of- answered. Go figure. "Oh hey, Sam," she greeted me.
"Hey, um... sorry, I forgot your name," I spoke sheepishly.
"Ciera," she informed me. She seemed to be ready for a cozy night in with her black, cotton shorts and an oversized black hoodie.
Noah's hoodies to be exact. It was plain black with the Nike symbol on right of the chest area. I've worn that hoodie multiple times.
I really couldn't keep up with Noah and his -apparently multiple- lovers.
"Ciera, right. I-" ahhhh why couldn't Noah have answered the door? "Uh we're- me and Noah- Noah and I, ah hahaha, um we were gonna talk, so I told him I'd be here at seven and... um... is- is Noah here?" Why didn't I ask that from the start? Because I'm a freaking idiot, that's why.
"He's not here actually."
I tried not to come off too disappointed. "Oh... he said... is he at work?"
"He's off today, but I'm sure he'll be home soon, come in."
Oh God, déjà vu. Except this time, I stupidly agreed, "Yeah, o- okay," because I was desperate to talk to Noah and maybe he was just running an errand.
Taking her up on the offer, I stepped inside the apartment. Last time I was in Noah's apartment was when I was screaming at him to 'break up with me like a fucking man!' So yeah, I wasn't feeling the greatest.
"I was making myself some hot chocolate if you want some," Ciera offered, making her way into the kitchen. The same kitchen Noah fucked me in months ago.
Oh wow, I really gotta stop picturing that because then I was imagining that time Noah placed me on the counter top, his mouth on mine while his hands went to my-
"Sam?" I heard, bringing me out of my Noah fever dream.
"Huh?" I faced Ciera and she shook a mug in the air. Hot chocolate. She had offered me hot chocolate. "Oh! Um, yeah thank you."
"Sure."
"I'm just gonna-" I gestured towards the stool underneath the edge of the counter.
"Yeah, go ahead," she said so I took a seat. I watched as Ciera pulled out a pot and placed it on the stove. "Oat milk okay?"
"Sounds good. So no hot cocoa packet then?"
"Hell no, homemade hot chocolate is the best," Ciera claimed. She already had her ingredients out, Hershey's cocoa powder, sugar, oat milk. She even had peppermint creamer to add and whip cream.
"So um, how's... how's living with Noah?" I asked to bring some sort of conversation to the table.
"Not horrible. I think we both balance each other out. Though I could do without his PMSing." I chuckled and watched her pour the steaming hot chocolate into two different mug. Hers saying "hot shit" on the side and mine having a funky tie-dye pattern to it. "Actually his mood has been better now that he's been talking to someone," Ciera told me as she sat on the stool next to mine.
"Oh, Noah's seeing a therapist?" Ciera nodded. "That's great to hear. He's been through so much," I said then took a tiny sip from my mug. It was still too hot, but I at least got to taste it. "Mmm! Homemade is better," I exclaimed.
Ciera chuckled before saying "Always is."
I smiled then looked down at her hoodie and my gaze averted down my mug, "So uh," don't ask, Sam, don't ask. I asked, "are you and Noah?"
"Gross, no," she cringed and my heart filled with relief. "I mean we kissed once but it was like," she paused to think. "Like unknowingly kissing your cousin and then finding out he was your cousin, ya' know?"
They kissed? "Ah hahah yeah. Totally." No, I didn't know.
"Yeah, but anyway, how's Boring Ben? Oh shit, sorry, I-"
"It's okay," I laughed, shaking my head, "Ya' know, he can actually be lots of fun. Very not boring," I said suggestively.
"Ooo? Really now? Tell about this Not-So-Boring Ben." So I told her about my relationship with Ben- all the good and exciting parts of our relationship- and eventually the conversation shifted to Ciera's love life.
I hated to admit it, but Ciera was actually a really cool person. I could see why Noah and Ciera are good roommates. She almost seems like the mellow, female version of Noah.
I gasped at Ciera's words, "he did not say that!" Ciera was telling me a story about this one night stand with a guy, Finn and how easily attached he got.
"Oh he did. In the middle of cumming. He was like 'I th- think I'm in- in lo- love with youuu'" Ciera mocked a deep voice while imitating a man thrusting.
I laughed, "Oh my God, so what did you do?" I asked, completely enthralled by Ciera's story until the front door made a jingle noise and both Ciera and I turned our heads.
A little after eight pm, Noah walked through the door.
"Shit, Sam," Noah breathed out as if me being there caught him off guard.
I stood, "Sorry, I thought we discussed meeting here-?"
"No, yeah, we did. I got caught up with family shit," Noah explained, walking further into the room and suddenly the air was thicker.
"No worries, I can go if-"
"No," he turned down quickly, then more calmly, "no, it's all good now. So..." I watched his eyes travel behind me and I turned towards his gaze which landed on Ciera silently sipping her hot chocolate. "Is that my hoodie?" He asked her.
Yep.
Ciera looked down at her chest, pulling at the fabric that covered her, then looked back up at Noah. She shrugged, "probably. I found it on the couch and I was cold," she explained in nonchalance.
"Well, get your own hoodie," he told her before facing me. He was closer now so I had to look up to meet his eyesight. "Wanna go for a drive? We can park somewhere and talk."
He was too close to me. I could smell his cologne. Respond, Sam, stop staring at him. So I nodded, "Yeah, that's... that works." Noah's eyes shot down then back up my body- my heart stopping in the process- before giving a curt nod and turning around, heading to the door.
I exhaled. Then to Ciera I said, "Thanks for the hot chocolate," before slipping my shoes back on. Noah held the door for me as I stepped out of the apartment and waited for him to lock up before we silently went down the stairs.
It was painful how loud the silence was between us. I wanted to ask him about his mom, that phone call earlier. He was obviously still in touch with her, but he didn't seem too thrilled that she called him, so I didn't know where they stood with each other. Not that it was my business, but I did care about Noah and I hoped the weight he carried with his family had lessened some.
But it wasn't my place to ask Noah, and lord knows how me asking him about his mom might trigger him. Plus, I wanted this conversation to be about things between us. We ended abruptly, our relationship was too intense to just end like that.
So as soon as I was buckled into Noah's passenger seat, I asked, "What were you wanting to talk about?" Even though I knew... or I assumed.
Noah cleared his throat and seemed a bit antsy as he drove out of the parking garage. "About us and... how things ended? I just think both of us deserve an actual..." he paused, thinking on the correct words, but didn't seem to come up with one because he said, "I don't know. If we're gonna see each other every day, we should have our shit figured out."
I nodded, "I agree."
We didn't speak for a little bit as Noah drove, but we didn't go far as he pulled into a dark, empty parking lot three minutes later before shifting into 'park'. He took a deep breath then faced me.
I didn't know why I agreed to sitting in a confined space with my ex instead of in his apartment with a witness like Ciera around to keep me from doing something crazy.
Because in that moment, there was nothing more that I wanted to do than to kiss Noah Wright.
**
Next chapter out soon, I'll keep you guys posted
Thank you for reading <3
-Xoxo, Bert