Julia stared at her new school and blew out the final drag of her joint. She stubbed it out on the bottom of her boot and tucked the half finished roach behind her ear. Pulling her chemical calm around her mind she indifferently walked in the doors to her first class. New town, new school and a whole bunch of new problems to deal with.
She walked in the front doors as the bell to scurry to class rang and tried to ignore the jostling crowd that pulled her along. If you've ever watched a crowd from above, it's like watching blood pump through veins. The center stream travels the farthest away, whereas the smaller streams on the outside break off into different destinations. These students, whom all knew where they were going, went about as briskly as if they were pumped along in the bloodflow. Except the occasional 'plaque' of a group standing in the damn way. Ju watched the way the students moved around each other and slid her way to the outside of the stream and broke away, into a door marked 'OFFICE'. A few of the students watched her in curiosity, wondering who the new girl was.
Inside the office Julia wrinkled her nose, assaulted by the smell of old, burned coffee. Joy and freaking rapture. she thought to herself, and plastered a half hearted smile to her face when she saw the secretary looking at her.
"Um... is that a joint tucked behind your ear?" the elder gentleman asked incredulously.
"Oh shi... I mean yeah. I'm the new student, Julia Shaw. And don't worry about that, "she gestured to the joint, "I've got a 'script." she shrugged it off. The secretary looked at her in disbelief. Rolling her eyes with a sigh, Julia leaned against the counter, annoyed and weary already. "Prescription. Apparently if you're in blinding pain all day, everyday, they feel that if a little weed makes it stop, it's not so bad. Copacetic?" she asked, holding the growing irritation at bay.
"Ah..." the secretary stammered, seeing a sudden dark anger in the girl's eyes.
"Ms. Shaw, thank you for coming in to the office. I've read your file and understand the need for your, medication. It's alright Henry, don't worry." a strong, slightly musical woman's voice called out as the door closed behind Julia.
Ju turned and eyed the woman with a neutral gaze. Purple skirt suit, white blouse, sensible shoes, hair in a bun, definitly the principal. "Would you be Mrs. Baumberg?" Julia asked, sticking her hand out to greet her newest principal. The woman shook her hand and Julia felt a weird buzzing sensation in the back of her mind. A headache started growing behind her eyes, but she was used to that sensation by now.
"I would be. I've read your file and I'd like to discuss a few things with you. Into my office please. Oh Henry, can you please print out Julia's class list, school map and locker location?" she requested just short of an order. With a timid bob of his head, Henry started at that task right away. Strange. Julia thought, wondering at the fear radiating off the elder gentleman. Julia's stomach suddenly rumbled with hunger and surprised her a little, normally she had trouble with food. Focus. she reminded herself, drawing her attention onto the principal.
"Now Ms. Shaw, I've taken the liberty of informing the teachers here about your unusual... condition and required use of normally prohibited substances. It is accetped that you have to make use of it, but please remember that no other student is allowed. We cannot have you distributing to the rest of the student body. I would also take it as a kindness if you were to be... subtle about medicating." Julia resisted the urge to stare her principal down. Watch your attitude. she though angrily to herself. Don't screw this up for your family AGAIN.
"Yes MA'AM." Ju said, keeping her tone respectful and looking at the principal with the corner of her eye. Ju sat quietly in the chair while Mrs. Baumberg went on, rattling on about the rules of this facility and how, with her past record, Julia would be held to a higher level of scrutiny. The urge to walk out made Julia curl her toes. It was always like this, whenever she felt caged in, the need to lash out and escape. It was almost overwhelming, but years of hard earned self control kept her in her seat, smiling politely. The boiling sensation started under her skin and she felt cold sweats spread across her body. The rushing sound of blood throbbed in her ears and yet she sat still, her outward appearance giving no hint of the turmoil raging inside. A bell shattered through her and broke the state she was in, helping her focus past the ramming of her heart.
"Oh dear, I've made you entirely miss your homeroom. No worries, I'll speak with Mr. Donohue and explain the situation to him. Now run along to your next class. We want you to make a good impression on your teachers now don't we?" Although the principal looked friednly enough and the wrods and voice sounded legit, there was an ominous threat in the air. Julia felt like a prey cornered by a large, carnivorous beast. Which only provoked her own anger. Managing to bite down on an acidic reply, she smiled.
"I plan on being entirely unobtrusive, no worries." Julia offered a brilliant smile, completly faked, but astonishingly authentic looking. Years of acting normal, happy and calm allowed her to fool most people without fail. Without waiting for a further barb from the principal, Ju slipped out to grab a couple of papers from Henry, the disapproving secretary.
Looking at her schedule, Julia saw that first period had been Philosophy and next period was, excitingly enough history. Despite having a definite attitude problem and temper issues, Ju had always been a closet brain, keeping her academic accomplishments high enough to usually save her ass from the fires her mouth started. Teachers never understood how someone so smart got into so much trouble. Then again, Ju didn't get it herself. She's just always had troubles, and the pain didn't help.
Julia slipped into the class and tucked herself into a desk, hoping for obscurity in the back of the class. There was a large enough student body here that not everyone would realize she was a new student, but lo and behold, her luck was playing hide and seek. A tall, gawky guy with bad acne slip into the seat next to her. Without embarassment he looked her over, and his eyes lit up when he saw the join hidden partially by her short, dark hair.
"Hey! Is that what I think it is?" he asked eagerly. Ju closed her eyes and mentally groaned, imagining banging her head on the desk repeatedly. Great, 5 minutes into my new school and I already have a stoner bugging me. There goes subtle.
"No." Ju lied calmly. "I roll my own cigarettes. Filters taste like ass." she gave a plausible explaination.
"Yeah, right. I can smell you, you know." he replied, no longer smiling. "You want to be a greedy bitch, go for it."
"Oh cut me to the quick. Whatever shall I do, you called me a bitch. My heart bleeds." Julia replied in monotone, unimpressed. Just shut up and ignore him, come on! She yelled at herself, no sure why she bother goading the little pimple.
"Yeah well, screw you!" he hissed at her, facing hte front and shunning her. As if she cared.
Keeping her anger bottled inside, Julia listened to the teacher go over the syllabus of the class. First day was always like this, mostly a waste of time, gonig over all the piles of information they would try and cover in a 9 month span.
In her old highschool, there had been 10 subjects a year, split into 2 semesters, so 5 subjects a semester. In this highschool, they did all 10 at once, with the days switched out. Mondays and Wednesdays she had Philosophy, History, Physics, Biology and Drama, Tuesdays and Thursdays she had French, Spanish, Chemistry, Art and Geography, Fridays were all 10 subject 'review' days where the students showed up to their home room and stayed in that class all day, working on whatever subject they needed help on. This was a school for the misbehaved and students with difficulties so the teachers were basically running the Friday as a detention day. And they took attendence so there was no skipping. This school makes no sense. Julia fumed as she tried to follow the map and make her way to the next class.
Arriving almost ten minutes late, there was no way she couldn't make a scene into her physics class. Julia ruffled her hair around, hiding hte joint behind her ear and opened the door. The man scowling at her from the front of the classroom looked ready to tear her throat out and she felt a responding anger rumble in her chest. "What the hell are you doing, coming late to my class?" he demanded, yelling at her.
Julia blinked and in a moment shoved the anger away. It was always like this, ready to explode, erupt, take over. If she gave into the berserk rage inside, her family would be forced to up and move, once again her fault. Not this time. "Sorry, I'm new this year and the map the secretary gave me is about as useful as tits on a goldfish." Dammit why can't you watch your mouth? she fumed internally. She heard some classmates snicker at her comment and saw many eyes appraising her. Genius. she sighed, realizing that soon the word would be out about her newbie status and people would be pestering her with questions. Julia felt exhaustion settle across her shoulders and she just wanted to leave. It's almost lunch, you can make it. she prodded herself and walked over to a desk while the very irate teacher glared daggers at her.
"If you're done making a scene, I was just handing out the quiz. I want to see how little all you idiots know." he snapped out. Thinking a very nasty word to herself, Julia smiled with fake cheer as she was handed one of the quizzes. She looked over the quiz, a little perplexed as to why it was asking for definitions of Kinematics and dynamics. Were these students really so limited? Ignoring hte curious glances from her classmates, Ju wrote down the answers she knew and put in as much of the information as she could for the ones she was a little fuzzy on. Once everyone handed their tests back in, the teacher went over the correct answers and discussed some of the answers the students have given. His opinion of them was not nice or gracious.
Julia was biting the inside of her lip and bounching her leg vigourously with the growing urge to get the hell out of there. It was so bad that when the bell for lunch rang, Julia shot out of her desk and bolted outside. Unlike earlier, she had no appetite and just wanted to get away. Walking a little too quickly to look casual, Julia made it outside and walked ot the far end of the football field before she stopped dead in her tracks. Breathing deeply, she tasted the oncoming rain in the brisk September air. Just breathe. In for 4, out for 4, the pain is there, accept it, let it go. She recited her mental mantra and felt ehr heart beat slowdown. Without opening her eyes, she pulled the roach from behinder her ear and lit it up, inhaleing the smoke and hoping it'd help settle the unexplicable rage flooding her body with the need to lash out. What the hell is wrong with me? she asked for hte umpeenth time.