Starting to update more frequently, let's see how long I can keep this up tbh
Your POV
I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I was currently bent over with my head in my hands, trying to escape the judgmental gaze of the hundred celebrities surrounding me as the movie continued to play in the background.
Tonight was supposed to go off without a hitch. It was my first movie since taking a mental health hiatus from acting after being verbally abused the entire duration of filming for my last movie two years ago. That movie was absolutely terrible by the way, and the critics made sure to tell me all about it online as if I didn't suffer enough in its production. I walked away from that movie with little to no profit and a battered sense of self. I ultimately decided that I was done putting so much in and getting nothing out.
I pretty much decided to hang up my career and just go back to living a normal life. No screenwriters reached out to me and I didn't reach out to them. That was until last winter when I randomly got a call from my agent, Victoria, about some director trying to make a comeback in his career and thinking it was the perfect time for me to make one of my own.
Somehow, I let her convince me to do it. Though, in the current moment, watching how bad this movie was, I really wish I followed my gut.
"Victoria...really? This sounds like a bad Tyler Perry movie," I whined as I went over the script while we sat in my kitchen together.
Victoria lowered her glass of water with a giggle, "It can't be that bad, Y/N. Let me see."
I handed her the packet and watched as she scanned the words with no emotion. Then suddenly her face changed, and I could tell she got to the part. The part where I told my husband that I was having an affair with his childhood best friend who just so happened to also be his secretary and a woman.
"See? I told you this is bad. Maybe I should pull out now before it's too late," I suggested.
Victoria quickly shook her head, "Okay, it's pretty bad I will admit. But you'll never get back into this industry until you show them that you're ready to make a comeback."
"Comebacks are supposed to be good," I grumbled.
"Yours will be. I can promise you that."
Now here I was, forced to watch myself on the big screen in a bad wig and an outfit I would be caught dead in if it were real life. Forced to watch my 'husband' berate me and call me out of my name for sleeping with another. Not to mention the onslaught of homophobia due to him being heavily involved in the church.
Some of my colleagues were starting to turn around and glance at me. The embarrassment was becoming too much and the walls of the viewing room were closing in. I grabbed Victoria's wrist and gave it a squeeze before I got up from my seat and quickly scooted down the aisle.
"Y/N," Victoria whispered behind me, but I was too far down the row to turn around now.
I sped up the ramp, avoiding eye contact with the onlooking celebrity viewers and out of the auditorium. I squinted, not because I was fighting back tears since I had none of those left, but because the contrast in lighting was a lot.
"Y/N! What do you think of the movie?"
"Y/N! What's going on?"
"Y/N, over here?"
"Y/N, smile for the camera!"
I sped past the paparazzi and fans being held back by the velvet rope and around the corner to the bathroom. I was relieved to see I was alone as I let out a shaky pant. I turned to face the wall length mirror and stared my reflection in the eyes.
"What are we gonna do, Y/N?" I whispered to myself as I rubbed at my eyes, careful not to smudge the eyeliner that the makeup artist had put on me before I arrived here.
I gripped the counter and looked down at it. Nothing about its pattern was interesting, but staring at the marble slab was much easier than staring at myself and wondering how I let my life get here. As I focused on the counter, I heard the door open. I quickly looked into the mirror and saw it was just Victoria.
She wordlessly approached me and placed her hand on my back. "You okay, Y/N? I was worried you were in here crying or something." She rubbed my back sympathetically.
I chortled, "Don't be silly, Vic. You watched me cry for months before I even got involved in this movie. There's nothing left. This is just fucked, I'm fucked, my career is fucked. What am I supposed to do?"
"First, calm down," she said and turned me to face her so she could fix my chain, "When we got involved with this movie I told you that you will have a comeback, and that it will be good."
I couldn't resist rolling my eyes, "You saw their faces, they think I'm a joke."
"Do you trust me?"
"You've been with me for years-," she cut me off.
"It was a yes or no question, Y/N."
"Yes, Victoria Monét McCants. I trust you."
She smiled, "Okay then. All you have to do is smile for the rest of the night. I already have a solution that'll take effect tomorrow afternoon."
"A solution?"
She lifted a finger up to my lips to silence me, "No questions. You trust me, remember?"
So for the rest of the night, I clung to the shreds of my dignity and plastered a smile onto my face even though I had fully dissociated. I took pictures, I did interviews, I attended the dinner after the premiere, I went home, and I let myself forget about the entire ordeal as I went to sleep.
"Y/N!" I heard Victoria say in a singsong voice right outside my bedroom door.
I sighed and opened it which took her by surprise, normally I'd be asleep, because that was one thing I thoroughly enjoyed, but after last night, every time I closed my eyes all I could see was myself in that horrendous lacefront on the big screen.
"We leaving now?" I asked.
She looked down at my outfit in what could basically be equated to disgust and then back up at me, "Not like that? We're going somewhere somewhat fancy. At least look business casual."
She pushed past me and into my room. She made a beeline for my closet. I heard her shuffling around, the sound of hangers sliding across the metal rack.
"Something like this," she came out of the closet holding two articles of clothing on hangers and tossed them on my bed before she disappeared back into my closet, "And these are cute." She came back out again, this time with a pair of shoes.
"Am I gonna start having to pay you to be my fashion designer too?" I sarcastically asked as she walked toward the door.
She gave me a shrug, "Only if you want to. Now hurry up, we leave in twenty minutes. And fix your hair too while you're in here."
I shook my head as she closed the door. Who knew what I was getting myself into with Victoria. After I looked up to par, at least to her standards, we left the house. She drove, not telling me where we were going at all. In fact, she seemed to purposely avoid the topic which was making me nervous.
Eventually we pulled up to a familiar building where I had a lot of conferences in the past with other actors and actresses and their agents who I was in movies with.
"Did you get me another movie role? I don't know that I'm ready for that."
"Nope! You'll see. Let's go, you know how I feel about punctuality." She put the car in park and got out.
I stayed in my seat for a moment, unwavering, wordlessly entranced by the parking lot in front of me until Victoria appeared in the center of my view through the windshield and impatiently beckoned for me to get out. I sighed and took off my seatbelt, she took the keys anyway so it's not like I could get away.
We walked into the building and up to the reception desk.
"Hi, we have a meeting scheduled today with Pardo. I think she booked room 313," Victoria said.
Pardo. I couldn't place that name but I knew it was oddly familiar. The receptionist typed on their keyboard for a few seconds before nodding and sending us on our way to the elevator. When we got to the conference room it was empty.
"We're ten minutes early," Victoria quickly explained before I even had the chance to complain.
She took a seat at the long table and I went over to the water cooler across the room. I took a cup from the stack and began to fill it up.
"Hello Victoria," a woman's voice filled the room.
I turned around and there was Pardo, Ciarra Pardo, and her most famous client stood behind her, Robyn Rihanna Fenty. When Robyn and I locked eyes we were both shocked, but that look of shock immediately turned into one of distaste on both our parts.
I raised the paper cup to my lips and didn't move my eye contact away from Robyn, who kept her eyes on me too. I took a sip of the water and shot a glare at Victoria as I lowered the cup once again.
"Victoria, what is this?" I asked with a fake smile.
"Have a seat you two, then we'll explain," Ciarra said to me and Robyn.
We all sat at the large table, client and agent across from client and agent.
"So, yesterday I ran into Ciarra at the movie premiere while you were on the red carpet and was telling her how we're looking for ways to boost your career. And I realized, it really starts with your persona and who the public believes you to be. The more popular you are with the public, the more interest directors will take in recruiting you for movies," Victoria explained.
"I'm trying to understand what that has to do with me," Robyn cut in and leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed.
"Yeah, I agree. What does this have to do with her."
My issue with being in the same room as her was quite justified. Back during the height of my career, Robyn and I worked together in the movie Ocean's 8 and we never saw eye to eye. We could make the connection work for the cameras but the second they were off? We were always at odds. It was like she loved to hate me.
"Well, Robyn has a couple things coming up that she's promoting and we think that they just need an extra push."
It was my turn to ask, "what does that have to do with me?" I couldn't fathom what her highlight, bronzer, and lingerie had to do with me.
Ciarra chuckled, "See, you two are so much alike that it just makes sense for this to happen. Victoria and I think that for at least the next three months, you and Robyn should date."
"What?" Robyn and I said in unison.
"Robyn has her next Savage x Fenty show in three months. If you two date, we'd have more viewers if we promise a special set involving both of you."
"You want me...to pretend to have a relationship with someone who hasn't been in a movie since the dinosaurs roamed the Earth?" Robyn asked with a scoff.
"And you want me to pretend to be with someone who hasn't put music out since the woolly mammoths went extinct?" I shot back.
Robyn gave me a fake smile, "The difference is that I do it by choice."
It was my turn to smile and lean forward, "So did I. Next time don't try to come for me without the correct information."
We glared at each other in silence until Victoria cleared her throat, "Three months. That's all. Honestly it doesn't even take much to get the rumors started. You can start by just walking into the same building together and go your separate ways as soon as you get inside. They wouldn't know the difference."
• • •
Thanks to Victoria's not great plan, I ended up making reservations to go to dinner with Robyn that Saturday. We weren't really going together because I had invited my fellow actress and good friend, Zendaya, and told Robyn to invite whoever she wanted. Once we got inside we would go our separate ways just like Victoria suggested.
We had no choice but to drive together, so I went and picked her up at her place. She came out in an emerald green dress, and looked, dare I say it, beautiful. Unfortunately her looks get taken down a couple notches because of her less than beautiful attitude with me.
The first twenty minutes went by painfully slow since neither of us were saying anything. I pulled up to a notoriously long red light and smirked. I picked my phone up and changed the music from one of my random playlists to her ANTI album on shuffle. That classic Kiss It Better guitar riff began and Robyn shot me a glare.
"You're a petty bitch, you know that?" She says and crosses her arms over her chest.
I look over at her, thoroughly amused, and put a hand over my chest to pretend that it was the worst thing anyone had ever said to me. "I like the album!" It's not a lie, but I did put it on just to annoy her so she was right about that much.
"You know," she began as I pulled off since the light turned green, "I wish we could've done a movie date at your place instead of this. Maybe we could've put on one of the movies that you starred in that I like. Oh, you know what I forgot? There are none."
I felt a tinge of pain in my chest, either it was heartburn or that actually hurt a little. I think it's the latter, especially because I do really like her music and think she's genuinely talented.
She's obviously talented in more than just music considering her ability to move away from what made her famous to other business ventures. Even with that change she kept her fans. If anything, she's amassed more.
I pulled into the restaurant parking lot. I still hadn't said anything in rebuttal, there was nothing to say other than the fact that I suggest she tread lightly. After all, I was the one driving this vehicle. What if I was suicidal? What if that was my last straw? I would've ran us straight off the road. Robyn was still scowling with her arms crossed.
"Can you at least act like you like me until we get in there?" I asked.
She scoffed at me. "I can act just fine. Can you?"
That was enough for me. I was tired of her insulting my career. I already get enough of it from Rotten Tomatoes scores and random journalism reviews online. Not to mention Twitter which is the hotspot for the most brutal critiques imaginable. I quickly pulled into a parking spot near the back where no one could see us.
"Listen," I snap, "I get that you don't fucking like me but you're not about to disrespect me for no reason. I haven't done a damn thing to you! Once these three months are over, you don't have to ever see me again and I don't want to see you. But until then, stop acting like a bitch and be a palatable person!"
There was a moment of silence and a look in her eyes that made me think I might've actually gotten through to her. But when her stiletto shaped nail was a mere inch from my eye seconds later, I knew I was wrong.
"Don't talk to me like some random bitch off the street, Y/N. You got the right one. I'm supposed to be happy about being here right now? The only reason we're here is because your career is shit."
Oh so now this is my fault?
"You are so full of yourself!" I shot back. "You're right, my career has gone to shit but I seem to care less than you! Probably because I'm not materialistic like you are and don't base the worth of others off of how many gigs they book! My career could end officially right now and I wouldn't care! I'm not just here because of that, I'm also here to help you. It was never about me for me, but I see where you stand. You don't care about anyone else but your damn self! It's honestly-"
The sound of an incoming call playing from my stereo cut me off from my tirade. I looked on the screen to see it was Victoria. I huffed and pressed the answer button on the touch screen.
"Hello?"
"Are you there yet? The reservation was for 8:00 and it's almost 8:15. The paparazzi are getting restless," Victoria said. She wasn't here but she knew what was going on since she was the one who leaked our appearance to them anonymously.
"Sorry, we got caught up. Traffic," I lied. "But we're about to go in now."
"Okay, good luck."
I hung up and put the car back in drive, wordlessly going toward the valet loop in the front of the restaurant.
"Y/N," Robyn said lowly, her voice barely above a whisper.
I sighed. "Save it. I know where we stand. Let's just give these people what they want for the next few months and move on with our lives."
As I pulled into the loop, she dropped her head. Finally she was quiet.
"I'll get the door for you." I got out and went around to her side. Sure enough, the second I came into view the strobe camera flashes began along with the yelling.
"Y/N! Who are you with tonight?"
"Any upcoming plans?"
"How do you feel about the reviews that have been coming out?"
Question after intrusive question was thrown at me. I completely ignored them all and pulled Robyn's door open. She took her clutch purse from my center console into her left hand and reached out to me with her right.
I took her hand into my own and as she stepped out she smiled at me. It almost looked genuine but it wasn't an in love smile, it was more of the smile you get used to putting on your face because the public expects it out of you. I gave the back of her hand a quick kiss which made the paparazzi go wild. TMZ was about to eat this up.
We walked up to the glass doors and I let her hand go to open it for her. She nodded in thanks with that same smile and walked in ahead of me. I followed and as soon as the door shut, we both let out sighs of relief. Her smile disappeared too.
Zendaya and Robyn's best friend, Mel, were waiting on one of the velvety benches for us. Zendaya looked up from her phone and smiled brightly when we made eye contact. Her and Mel got up. As I hugged Zendaya, Robyn hugged Mel.
"I have a reservation for Y/L/N and a reservation for Fenty," a hostess said to us before we were led up a glass spiral staircase to the private floor that no paparazzi or the general public are allowed on.
"Why is it under separate reservations? Don't you guys wanna sit together?" Zendaya naïvely asked.
I immediately shut that shit down. All I wanted was to enjoy my meal in peace without the green-eyed monster saying shit to me. Speaking of her, she was completely avoiding eye contact with a look on her face that looked like a mixture of worry and frustration.
The hostess showed us to our separate tables which unfortunately weren't far away from each other. In fact, Zendaya and I were given one up against a wall and Robyn and Mel received the one that was in the middle of the floor directly diagonal from it.
Seconds after we were seated, the waiters came to our tables with breads and expensive ass butters. At least the service was fast, it meant this night would be over quicker.
"So what have you been up to?" Zendaya asked me as she pulled one of the rolls apart.
"Honestly? Nothing much since that movie came out but I almost prefer it that way."
She nodded in understanding. Besides Victoria, when I took my hiatus from acting, Zendaya was one of the only people who knew why and she supported me completely. Of course she wouldn't let me completely let it go so sometimes she would bring over scripts so I could help her with her lines.
"What about you though?" I asked.
She handed me the other half of the roll. She always shared her food with me even though there was no reason to. "Well, I know it's been a while since we last hung out but I got casted in the Dune movie that Timothée is gonna be in."
I looked at her in surprise. "That's great, Zen! You know how the straight bitches love them some Timothée Chalamet."
"You're so stupid," she said with a chuckle.
"I'm serious! Congratulations! You're gonna make a bag off that movie. I can't wait to look at the box office revenue for it. Maybe you can buy me something pretty."
"Pretty? Like what?" She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms.
"I don't know, maybe a new girlfriend or a role in a movie that isn't shitty." Of course the first gift wasn't even redeemable until this three months I have to spend with this green-eyed grinch are up.
"Oh, speaking of that. I have a proposition for you!"
"You wanna be my girlfriend? You and Tom aren't working out?"
She scoffed, "No Y/N, I have a role for you in Euphoria. Now that Rue's clean, she's gonna need some new friends to at least help her progress. I haven't fully decided yet if it should be a friend or love interest...but once I do, it's all yours."
"Sign me the fuck up. I owe you so much. I mean look how well season two just did, it was like the whole world was watching!"
"You know I got you," she waved me off, "Plus you're a great actress and I think it's time the industry is reminded of that."
I almost forgot all I was going through because Zendaya respected me enough to not talk about my past, but instead reach my future. She also didn't constantly badger me or remind me of what was going on presently, specifically why I came to dinner with Robyn.
I wanted to tell her but Victoria said it was best not to tell anyone just so there wasn't a chance of it going left due to the truth being leaked. I really could've escaped my whole present problem if it wasn't for the fact that Robyn was staring at me over Zendaya's shoulder the entire dinner.
When our entrees came I was able to focus on my plate instead of those piercing green eyes across from me. But once the meal was finished and paid for, I had to suck it up. We had one more encounter with the paparazzi to make it through.
Mel left first, which was easy for her to do because she's not super well known. I requested my car be brought around after. Zendaya said she would leave last just so we could space it all out.
"I'll see you soon. You can stop by whenever you want. You know Victoria loves you," I told her as I pulled her into a tight hug. I didn't get to see her much now that she had so many roles and would often go to London to see Tom if he wasn't in the states.
Robyn waited awkwardly by the door. She was pretending to be busy texting away but she couldn't fool me, I could see in the reflection of her sunglasses, which were completely unnecessary considering it was nighttime, that all she was doing was swiping through her camera roll.
"Ms. Y/L/N, your car is waiting for you outside."
Zendaya and I said our goodbyes again and I approached Robyn.
"You ready?" I asked her.
She wordlessly nodded and slipped her phone into her clutch. I took her hand in mine and we walked out the door. As soon as we stepped out, the incessant flashing and screaming returned. We both ignored them and I didn't put on a show this time with any affection.
I opened her door for her and waited for her to get in and comfortable before I closed it and went around to the other side. The valet person stepped out of the car and held the door for me. I got in, put my seatbelt on, closed it, and pulled off.
"Why were you looking at me in the restaurant?" I asked as I left the parking lot and turned onto the main road.
"When?" She asked with her eyebrows furrowed.
"When we were sitting at the tables eating. You were literally staring at me," I reminded her.
She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous Y/N, who would wanna look at you willingly?"
"Uh, you. Considering you were literally doing the shit. All I'm saying is that I charge for that kinda shit. You're not slick, trying to undress me with your eyes. Subscribe to my Onlyfans if you wanna see that bad."
"You're delusional. And Onlyfans? You finally figured out what you're gonna do since acting obviously ain't working for you?"
I sighed. No one knew how to take a joke and turn it into an insult quite like Robyn.
"You know what? I think we should just let our managers handle this. Like only communicate through them," I suggested.
"See if I complain," she grumbled and took her phone out to pretend to text again.
I dropped her off at home but she wouldn't even let me pull through the gate the way she flew out of the car.
"Goodnight," I called after her.
She gave me a half-assed wave without even turning to look at me. I'm just glad that it's over, if she wants to keep being bitter for no reason, that's on her. At the end of the day, I'm still going to sleep good whether she likes me or not.
• • •
The next morning
I was currently sitting in the kitchen eating a five star bowl of cereal as my late breakfast. I decided I wanted some entertainment to go along with my meal but instead of acting like a normal person and going to sit in front of the television, I cracked open my laptop, typed my name in google, and went down the news tab.
I had been on it for at least thirty minutes, reading through blog after blog about my outing with the Bajan beauty last night. It was a nice change to see someone talking about my "romance" instead of the movie even though both were shitty.
The sound of my front door opening broke me out of my entrancement with the current article. Victoria came around the corner with her keychain in one hand and an edible arrangement in the other.
"I know you did not get me a damn edible arrangement to congratulate me on my date," I told her in disbelief as she came into the kitchen.
"You're right. I did not. The worker was about to ring the bell when I walked up so I took it. But speaking of the date, how did it go?" She asked as she sat the vase of shaped fruit on the counter.
"Exactly how I expected it to go," i cryptically answered.
I looked over the mysterious gift and noticed a little white card being held by a cardholder in the middle of the arrangement, well hidden between the skewers of shaped fruit. I took it out and opened it to find a typed message.
I'm sorry for yesterday, I wish I could kiss it better. See you again soon.
Sincerely, Robyn Fenty (CEO)
I was seething at that point and ripped the note into little pieces. She couldn't even apologize sincerely. It was clear her manager had probably sent this over. I had seen my friends receive enough PR boxes from Robyn to know that when it was genuine, she wrote her notes by hand and never signed with her proper name.
"Y/N, what's wrong?" Victoria looked after me with a worried gaze. She probably hadn't seen me this upset in years.
"I'm going outside." I picked up the vase and walked toward the front door.
"Wait!" Victoria scurried after me.
I thought she was going to try and stop me, maybe try to calm me down, but instead she picked among the skewers. She pulled all the chocolate covered strawberries, pineapples, and grapes out.
"You can go destroy that nasty ass melon but I wasn't about to let you get rid of this good shit. I'll eat it."
She gave me a pat on the back and let me go out the door. I walked down my steps and turned toward the garage. I honestly didn't have a plan when I decided I was going to get rid of this. But then I remembered it was trash day and the trash can was sitting by the garage door since I hadn't taken it down to the end of the driveway yet.
I flipped open the lid and forcefully dumped the melon skewers into the bin. I was about to drop the vase in too but I thought that was a lackluster end to the shitty excuse for an apology gift that I'd received. I stepped back about ten feet from the bin and hurled the vase at the brick wall above it. It shattered to pieces against the wall and fell perfectly into the bin. The sound of the ceramic breaking apart took away some of the built up tension.
"Fuck your fruit and fuck you, Robyn," I grumbled.
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