SO COLD
The shogun stalled outside the tattoo store. My gaze roamed over the faded blush-red paint, the white marks on the window, the tacked-on advertisements that were decades old. It was charming, sure, for a stroll down nostalgia lane but with shiny bright tattoo parlours on the high street with black and white designs and professional design books, it was a big thumbs down for attracting new customers. The longer I sat there, the more indecisive I became. I was wavering, feet on tip-toes on a tight-rope of whether to grab my passport and leave for Shanghai or to stay my ass in bed. The sensible option was to tell the men to fuck off but I didn't think I could outright say it.
"So," I clasped my hands together, angling towards James sat in the passenger seat beside me and Irvin, in the backseat. "Uh..."
Irvin invaded our personal space, attempting to squeeze through the middle. He shouted and the pair of us flinched at his loud voice. "There is no way in hell you're backing out!"
James threw him a look of irritation, leaning away. "We're right next to you. Lower your damn voice."
"My aunt will probably say no, there's no point in asking. I mean, c'mon, going halfway across the world with a man who hates me and likewise, and Irvin? It's stupid."
"I've met your aunt. She's the most relaxed white woman I have ever met. You could say to her that you're out burning a church and she'd be like 'Have fun, sweetie! I'll get a pizza when you get back.' So let's not play the excuses game," Irvin checked out his reflection in the rear-view mirror, brushing through his curls with his hand. "I can ask her for you if you like. How can she say no to my charming grin? She looks a little traditional but the type to have a secret fetish for brown boys in sagging pants."
"Don't get ahead of yourself, boy," James furrowed his brow, reigning in his ego, "she'll report you for rape right after the two of you have sex. Steer clear of her."
I unclipped my seat belt. "Seth and I are black. She doesn't have a problem with–"
"That's what you think. Go on, get out. Get your passport. I'll have someone return your car later. The keys will be shoved through the letterbox."
Irvin jumped out of the Shogun after me. As our feet hit the pavement on the other side, James had crossed over and was sat in the driver's seat, his low voice on the phone. I touched the handle of the door. "Let me speak,"
"Relax," Irvin rolled his eyes skyward. "It's just a trip abroad. Not a hand in marriage."
Sat behind the counter on a barstool was Jade in a leather skirt and low-cut top. Her bare legs were crossed, tattooed and faded. She had the log-book in hand, chewing on the end of a pen, glancing up and relaxing when she saw it was just us. Her feet moved back to the countertop. "Hey. Where were you last night?"
"Stayed over. That alright?" I tried gauging her mood.
"A little too late to ask, isn't it?" She wasn't in the best of moods.
"Come up–" I tried to get Irvin's attention.
Too late. He opened his mouth, hip leaning on the counter and flashing an impish smile. "So, Jade – lovely feet, by the way – there's a holiday planned to Shanghai. My ex-girlfriend Ivy – a real bitch, pardon my potty mouth – broke up with me and it's too late to get a refund. I've asked Shay since she's a little miserable with her father losing his marbles but she's too worried to ask you. It's not like you'll have an objection, right?"
Her feet slid off the countertop. She straightened up, pen out of her mouth, expression creased in suspicion. "Who's going?"
"Just me," Irvin lied with ease. "It'll be for four days, three if we catch an earlier flight back."
"When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow."
The silence from her wasn't reassuring. Her mouth was a stiff line.
Irvin was quick to fill in the blanks before she did. "We're strictly friends. There's nothing romantic between us. I'll give you the number to my grandma, she can reassure you that I'm not a secret Jeffrey Dahmer fan. It's only for a few days. We'll bring back souvenirs."
She relented. "Fine."
It was clear she wasn't in favour of the trip whatsoever but there was little she could say in front of Irvin. I took Irvin's hand before he could push his luck and break Lady Luck's back and tugged him towards the stairs. "C'mon. Help me pack."
"That was easy." Irvin said as we reached the top of the stairs. "I told you, didn't I? You need to have a little more faith."
"You didn't see the steam coming out of her ears?" I opened my bedroom door to search for my passport. "She's mad and your boyish charms didn't help whatsoever."
"Buy her a calendar or some sanitary wipes. She looks like the type to forgive and forget over a cheap tacky gift."
"Maybe." I wasn't entirely convinced she could be won over by something brought in an overpriced market.
***
At seven-something in the morning I woke up, had a quick breakfast of soggy cereal and said a rushed goodbye to Seth and aunt Jade. Seth was bleary-eyed and slumped back to his bedroom soon after a hug. Aunt Jade was a different story, she stewed in a foul mood with her cup of hot coffee, angry eyebrows yanked down over a stare. "Getting a taxi?" she inquired.
I had my hand on my suitcase, and looked up. "No, a friend's taking us there."
"Who?"
"Irvin's friend."
"Another boyfriend then, hmm?" her tone was a little too sour to ignore.
"Irvin's not my boyfriend."
"And yet, here you are, so eager to rush off to a trip abroad with men you barely know. What would your father say? He'd be ashamed of you."
"Kind of hard to play the morality game when he's out upping his kill streak, huh?" I grew irascible. "Quit the snide comments. I'm not like you, aunt Jade. I don't rush to tug down my skirt two seconds after saying hi to a stranger." It was a low blow. I regretted it almost as soon as I said it.
"Oh, don't act all righteous, you little whore," she leaned forward and hissed, looking a lil' crazy with her uncombed bed-hair and streaks of black eye make-up. She needed a wash. ASAP. "You can't control yourself, you're desperate. How many times are you going to look at your watch?"
"You know what, think what you like. I'm going to wait downstairs. I can't be bothered dealing with you and the bullshit you're implying. If Irvin was a couple of shades lighter, you wouldn't mind. This is all about the fears in your head and your own bigotry and" I glanced at my phone as it beeped "I don't have the time to console you and tell you it's not true. Believe what you like. I don't care. My taxi is here."
When my suitcase bumped off the pavement and rolled towards the stalled SUV across the road, the passenger door opened and Cole stepped out. He was dressed in a grey sweatshirt and matching grey sweatpants. He reached for my suitcase to place in the boot. "Force Irvin to shut the hell up. He's getting on my fucking nerves."
I slid in behind the driver's seat and glanced up towards the bedroom windows of the tattoo shop through the open door. A curtain shifted. I knew Jade was staring, the nosy cow. I slammed the door close. "Hey," I greeted Irvin, clicking in my seatbelt. I met Dorito's gaze through the rear-view mirror where he was sat behind the wheel. He grimaced at me and I mimicked his expression. "Just so you know, I'm still not pregnant. The morning after pill really foiled my plans."
He threw me a dirty look. "You'd be dead if you were."
"Have you ever thought of going to couples' therapy? Something tells me you guys would benefit from it. I don't know though. It's just a hunch."
"Shut the hell up before I shove a gun in your mouth, faggot." Dorito was pleasant in the morning.
"I thought you were going to save the dirty talk for when we were alone?" Irvin made a noise of pain as Cole sat in the passenger seat and rammed his seat back on his legs. "Fuck."
"Problem?" Cole eased the pressure off his legs.
"No, sir." Irvin answered, forcing a smile that was more of a grimace. Away from Cole's inquiring look, he exhaled heavily, hands on his legs in discomfort.
"Knew you could keep him quiet," Cole said to me with a sarcastic tilt to his mouth. He motioned for Dorito to start driving. "When we get to the airport, don't say a word unless I talk to you. Don't act shifty. Don't be weird and don't draw attention to yourself. Might be a little hard for you but I'll hold your hand the whole way in case you start acting up."
"Why bring me if you think I'm going to be a siren for attention?"
"Wasn't my choice." He said abruptly. "You're the last person I'd go anywhere with."
The drive to the airport took a little over an hour. Trying to find a space to park was a myth: there were taxis, Ubers, relatives and friends in lanes of their own traffic. We said goodbye to Irvin's favourite bag of chips and headed towards the terminal. There was a strong smell of exhausts from the cars, a distinct scent of jet fuel and hot tarmac. It was the beginning of a hot, sticky day and more than a few people seemed to have forgotten their deodorant.
Like promised, Cole took my hand.
I untangled myself. "I can cross the road just fine, thanks."
He took my hand again, his hold tightening when I tried pulling my hand away. "I knew you were a mistake," his harsh gaze squinted against the sun's glare, "think about it, dumbass. Why am I holding your hand?"
I thought about it. "Can I call a friend?"
He wasn't amused.
"OK, time for me to skedaddle. See you guys later." Irvin rushed ahead into the crowds.
"Where is he going?"
"Mind your own damn business."
I raised my eyebrows and pressed my lips together. Well, fuck you too, Cole.
A tannoy was announcing departing and arriving flights at boarding gates. There was a horde of tourists with their noses in maps and hands around coffee cups huddled in a circle over by the entrance of a gift shop with overpriced keyrings. We reached the walkway system, passed by restaurants and a McDonald's with a wailing baby and a stressed mother, and found our gazes on the flight information display system. We stilled out footings. "See our flight?" Cole inquired and continued before I could answer. "Found it." He tugged me after him.
We joined the end of a queue with slow check-in clerks behind computer screens at the head. The queue shifted forward gradually and it was a while before I handed over my boarding ticket and passport. I felt anxious as the check-in clerk inspected and scanned the document. I hadn't done anything wrong but I sure felt guilty. I thought to smile but didn't think I would be able to maintain it for long. It seemed like forever but was probably only a few minutes until the clerk handed me my ticket and passport and with a brief smile, said. "Have a good flight!"
"Thank you," relief flooded through me and I walked over to Cole where he was waiting at the side.
"Went well?" he questioned lightly.
"No, she thinks I have connections to terror–"
"Shut your fucking mouth, you idiot." He cut across angrily, low voice.
"It was a joke. You're so uptight."
He kept his expression calm. "There's a time and place for you to practice your stand-up clown sessions. Now is not it."
"Whatever."
We headed to security and joined the end of another queue. I fanned myself with the boarding ticket as the wait dragged out. When we reached the security clerk, we headed in separate directions: I went left. Instructed to remove my coat, shoes and jewellery, I placed the items in a tray followed by my mobile phone. The security guard motioned me forth through the body scanner: no alarm was tripped. I redressed and met Cole in little to no time.
The tannoy crackled: announcing our flight to Shanghai at gate C32, zone 2. Cole hauled me across the airport and through the gate. There was a second check of our passport and ticket just before we boarded. I sat in seat 31C and turned to my neighbour. "Wanna hear my knock-knock jokes now?"
"I'd rather hear Irvin–"
"Talk of the devil," Irvin announced his own appearance, grinning widely. He was moving across the seats in front of us. "And he shall appear." He tore open a bag of chilli heatwave Doritos and grabbed a handful. He paused. "Is this classed as cannibalism? This cost me £4.59. Can you believe it? Who knew capitalism would cost me my soul?"
***