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| King of Hearts |
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By: Janae Destiny
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Kiara and Cameron went back to Luna's house to eat because they ended up getting her food anyway, even though she said she didn't want anything. And just like Kiara expected, she still ate it. And after they ate, they chilled with Luna for a little bit before getting ready to leave out again.
"You been spending a lot of time with Monique," Luna said as she put their leftover food away in the fridge after they'd finished eating. It was just the two of them left in the kitchen because Cameron had gone to take a shower.
"She's my friend-"
"I'm your sister, you don't have to lie to me, Kiara. I know you like her."
"So what if I might like her?" Kiara immediately got defensive.
"Sis, calm down. Did I say anything was wrong with liking her? It's just that you haven't liked a girl in a long time, so I'm shocked you're taking an interest in Monique all of a sudden."
"Honestly? It feels weird," Kiara muttered. "I don't remember the last time I felt like this about a girl. And I don't even know her like that, so I don't know what it is about her."
"She's really pretty," Luna shrugged. "Maybe it's just a physical attraction."
"There's a million pretty girls in this fuck ass city. I don't think that's what it is. It's not just physical."
"You think you're ready for that though? It's been a minute since you last been with somebody."
"I don't know if I'm ready," Kiara admitted. "I been by myself for so long that I don't even remember what relationship me is like. And then Monie is... I just don't think either of us is ready for nothing like that right now."
"Who said it had to be right now? No one's telling you to rush into shit with her."
"I'm scared..." Kiara whispered. "I'm scared to start anything with anyone, let alone Monie."
"Babe," Luna reached across the counter and held onto her sister's hand. "I know you're scared. But trust me, not everyone is going to do you how Nia did you. You have to allow yourself to open up again. Cause how else you gonna experience the good life has to offer if you keep yourself closed off from ever experiencing love again?"
"That's the thing. I don't know if I'm scared to get hurt... or if I'm more scared to hurt her. I broke a lot of girl's hearts those two years, and I still feel terrible about every single one. That's when I started this whole celibacy journey and I'm not sure I'm ready to break that yet."
"Didn't nobody say you have to go and fuck the girl. Just be honest with her, that's it. Be real about your situation, and if she likes you back, she'll respect that. Plus, it'll give y'all more time to get to know each other without all those messy and complicated emotions that stem from sex being involved."
"Right..." Kiara hummed.
Although, she wasn't sure it was that simple. Sex is a lot more powerful than people might realize and it does in fact complicate things, even if people like to claim it doesn't. But the thing is, Kiara does want Monie in that way. She just isn't sure she's ready for the emotional investment that goes along with it- the same thing she's been trying hard to avoid these last 5-7 years.
"Okay, I'm ready," Cameron walked back into the kitchen just a few seconds after their conversation had ended.
"You sure you don't wanna come, Luna?" Kiara asked her one more time because Monie had extended the invite to her as well.
"Nah, I'm good. I got a bubble bath, a glass of wine, and crime TV waiting with my name all over it. Y'all have fun, I'll just talk to y'all later."
"Aight," Kiara nodded her head. "Night sis."
"Night," she gave her sister a little hug. "And good night Cam," she gave him a kiss on the cheek, even though he immediately wiped it away.
"G'night Luna," he shrugged away from her embrace when she moved in to hug him too.
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"Hey King," Monie looked up at Kiara when she opened the door for both her and Cameron.
"Hey Monie," Kiara replied.
And neither of them moved after that initial greeting, with Cameron awkwardly standing there wondering if Monie was going to let them in or not.
"And hello," Marco pushed his sister out of the doorway and invited them inside. "I don't know why you standing here being awkward as hell."
"I'm not being awkward," Monie said very... awkwardly.
"Whatever Monique," he closed the door after letting Kiara and Cameron inside.
The two kicked off their shoes and followed Marco to the living room where Ava was already wrapped up in a throw blanket with a bowl of popcorn sitting on her lap.
"Hi Kiara," she got excited like she hadn't just seen her not too long ago at the restaurant. "You can sit next to me," she patted the side of the couch next to her.
"Thank you, Ava," Kiara sat down next to her.
"You play ball?" Was the very first question Marco asked Cameron before he could even get settled in properly.
And the only reason he asked is both because of Cameron's height and because it seems like playing basketball runs in their family.
"No. I run track."
"Like Usain Bolt?"
"Dat the only Jamaican track runner yuh know?"
"I also know Shelly-Anne and Elaine Thompson. Besides them, no. I don't know anymore. You any good though?"
"Mi coach back home said mi can mek it to the Olympics one day if mi train hard enough. So yeh, I think I'm pretty good. Yuh play ball? Dat why yuh ask me?"
"Yeah, I'm a shooting guard and small forward. Well... I was, before we moved here. But I don't doubt I'ma make the team out here. I was ranked one of the top players back in Cook."
"Cook?" Cameron furrowed his eyebrows.
"Chicago," Marco said the actual name of his city instead of the county it's located in. "That's where we from. And it's pretty obvious you from Jamaica, but what part you from?"
"Manchester. Or more specifically, Mandeville."
"Wait, ain't that where Keenan King is from? So you from his side of the family?"
"No," Cameron shook his head. "I'm from Chloe's side. Uncle Keenan's family is from May Pen, not Mandeville."
"I've always wanted to visit Jamaica. Going there is on my bucket list. Really, I just wanna go... anywhere to be honest. We don't travel very much."
"Okay, y'all. Maybe we should stop talking now cause I'm bout to put the movie on," Monie came back with a plate of cookies they had just baked in one hand and another bowl of popcorn in the other. And she set them down on the coffee table before taking the empty seat on the other side of her daughter.
"Did we even agree on one?" Marco asked her.
"I thought y'all said Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse?"
"That's what I said. But I don't think Ava ever agreed."
"I said I don't care," the little girl corrected him. "I like that Spider-Man movie, I just don't like the ones with the real people."
"Cameron, you wanna watch Spider-Man?" Marco asked him.
"Yeah, that's fine. Mi love all Marvel movies yuh know."
"Oh, word? Me too," Marco nodded his head.
The first movie, everyone paid attention to, especially Kiara because she'd never seen it before. The next movie though? The kids were knocked out before it even ended.
"Marco," Monie whispered his name but got no response but his steady breathing that turned into a quiet snore. "Well damn."
"Guess he's out too," Kiara let out a small whispered laugh because all three of the kids were fast asleep not even halfway through the second movie.
Marco was asleep on the thick white rug with his arm tucked under his head and a throw blanket wrapped around him. Cameron was laid out across the love seat with an arm and a leg hanging off. And Ava was fast asleep on the couch under a thick blanket with her head resting on Kiara's lap.
"You gonna bring her to bed?" Kiara asked because she wasn't sure what to do with the little girl sleeping on her lap.
"Hell no," Monie quietly answered. "I move Ava, she'll wake up. And if she wakes up, she's not going back to sleep any time soon. You gonna wake up Cameron though?"
"Uhmm..." she looked at how peaceful he looked asleep on the love seat. She then looked down at her watch to see that it was just past one in the morning. "Yeah. We should probably get going."
"Well, it is late," Monie started. "And he's already sleep."
"Mmhm?" Kiara hummed. "What's that mean?"
"I mean, y'all can just stay over for the night. If... if you want to. I don't mind."
"You always this nice?" Kiara asked her.
"Only to people I like," she got up off of the couch and held her hand out to Kiara.
Kiara slowly slid off of the couch, trying not to wake Ava up as she moved her from her lap to laying on the couch with a pillow tucked under her head. Kiara then rose to a standing position, took Monie's outstretched hand, and followed her back to her bedroom.
"So... is there a reason you wanted me in here?" Kiara took a seat on the edge of the king-sized bed.
"I wanted to talk to you actually," Monie said after closing the door. She stayed standing by it though and wrapped her arms around her body.
"Talk about what?" Even though Kiara already knew what Monie wanted to talk about.
"About what happened last night. About how you kissed me."
"It was just a kiss. It didn't mean anything," Kiara assured her, still trying hard to convince herself that was the truth.
"It didn't feel like just a kiss," Monie argued. "It didn't feel like it meant nothing to you."
It definitely felt like more than a kiss and that's because it was. The way Kiara caressed Monie's body, taking her time as she gently rubbed on every- yes, every part of Monie's practically naked body didn't feel like nothing. The way Kiara sucked on her neck, damn near leaving a mark on Monie's light-toned skin if she didn't have sense enough to stop was not nothing. The way Kiara had gently massaged Monie's breasts, teased her nipples, and muffled her very audible moans by kissing her definitely did not feel like nothing.
Kiara wanted to do more than just that though, and Monie wanted her to. And if she would have said something along the lines of 'let's get out of here', Monie would not have objected. She would have been quick to follow her. And all Monie wanted at that moment was for Kiara to take her back to her place and take a shower so they could get to do the things they really wanted to do to each other.
It's been five years since Kiara has been with a woman, but something about Monie made her feel like she was ready for that again. She wanted her right then and there in the club, but they weren't in the environment to be doing those sorts of things. Because if they had been just about anywhere else, God knows what would have happened between them.
"We were drunk-"
"I wasn't drunk at all actually," Monie interjected. "And you weren't that drunk either. You didn't start wilding out until afterward like... like you were trying to forget what we did or something. Did you not mean to kiss me? Just be honest."
"No, I definitely meant it," Kiara finally admitted. "And I liked it- I loved it. But... I also shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have kissed you. I was doing too much."
"If you was doing too much," Monie slowly started making her way toward Kiara. "Then I would have stopped you. And I didn't stop you."
"But I don't want this to only be about sex. I want the first time I'm with a girl in that kind of way to really mean something. That's the whole point of me being celibate in the first place."
"Fuck," Monie muttered as she slapped the palm of her hand against her forehead. "I'm so sorry. I... I didn't even think about that. I shouldn't have-"
"It's fine," Kiara assured her. "You don't gotta apologize. I'm the one who kissed you. Not the other way around."
"But still, I hope you don't think I'm a hoe or something. Cause I swear I'm not. I don't ever do shit like that in the club. I... honestly don't know why I let you touch all on me or why I kissed you back."
That last part was a lie though because Monie definitely knew why she let it happen. She let Kiara do it because she already likes her- even after only knowing her for a few days.
"I don't think you're a hoe," Kiara laughed. "And even if you are, I don't judge people like that. Trust me, I'm the last person to be judging when it comes to shit like that."
"Why you say that?" Monie went and sat down on the bed next to her. "You seem real reserved. Especially given the industry you work in."
"I uhm," she looked down at her long fingernails to distract her from having to look at Monie when she said it. "I was in a relationship about seven years ago now. It ended terribly. I got my heart broken in the worst way possible. And I did some not-so-great things those two years after we broke up because I was hurt. A lot of things that I regret and wish I could take back because I hurt a lot of people who ain't deserve that."
"Are you healed from it now?"
"I thought I was," Kiara slowly looked up to meet Monie's light brown eyes. "But I think Luna made me realize that I might not be. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm still hurt all these years later. And it's made me scared of relationships or any kind of intimacy since."
"Is that the real reason you're celibate? Because you're scared of getting hurt again... or scared of hurting someone else?"
"Maybe?" Kiara shrugged as if that wasn't the exact reason- as if she didn't just tell Luna the same thing before she left her apartment. "I don't even know anymore. But you told me before that you aren't ready for another relationship right now. And... and I've been single for seven years. I don't even remember what it's like to be with somebody in that kind of way anymore. I'm scared I won't know how to properly treat you. I don't think I'm ready yet."
The first thing that popped into Monie's head was, 'I don't think you can treat me any worse than any of my exes did', but of course, she didn't actually say that.
So instead she replied with, "how will you ever know you're ready until you actually put yourself out there in that kind of way again?"
"I don't wanna hurt you-" Kiara started.
"You won't hurt me," Monie reached out and placed her hand gently on top of Kiara's.
"You don't know that," Kiara pulled her hand away. "I'm not sure I'm the person you need. I'm not sure I'm the person you deserve to be with."
"You clearly like me, and I obviously like you back. And I respect you being celibate, so this ain't just about sex to me either. I actually think taking sex off the table gives us more room to get to know each other more. You know... genuinely get to know each other."
"Can we..." Kiara's voice got all small for some reason. "Can we try being friends first? Can we take this slow- whatever 'this' is?"
"Slow?" Monie looked up at Kiara, looking her directly in the eyes once again.
She's never done slow before. Every relationship/situation-ship she's ever been in, she's dived into it head first. When Monie does anything, she always gives 100% of herself- even if it's always ended up hurting her in the end. So "slow"? She's not very familiar with the concept of taking things slow. But her history hasn't been so great with relationships in the past, so it's something she was willing to try for once.
"Yes," Kiara nodded her head. "Slow."
"Okay," Monie nodded her head in agreement. "I like how that sounds. Let's take it slow. Let's see where this goes..."
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