Tan examined the road on the way to the office. The road signs seem blurry under his focus. The traffic on the road didn't seem to ease the situation. The drive to the office felt frustrating because all he could think about was Gabrielle lying next to him, he longed for her he craved for her touch. He was drained in guilt and longing. Mostly, it was guilt.
He shouldn't have touched her; they shouldn't have gotten that far with each other. They should have ended the night with the wine but he let his hormones be master over him. Control was something Tan prided himself in having but if the situation involved Gabby, all control was like putty in his hands. He must be an asshole because he didn't regret it one bit and if he had to choose again, he'll make the same decision over again.
He pictured her body, the warm, soft, lithe nature of it as it pressed against his skin. He felt fucked and yet for the first time in four years he felt his body exploding with life. After dating Gabby, he had been with many other women but with Gabby sex with her was different. A kind of difference that just felt right. It wasn't just about sex it was about the connection they shared, the intimacy, and that's what scared him, the thought of not being able to move past that night scared him shitless; Because with Gabby he understood what it meant to make love to somebody. And he was left craving for more.
He could almost still feel the tingles in his fingers as they traced the gentle curves of her body last night like he'd wanted to do since he saw her at the restaurant. He swallowed another surge of remorse knowing in his heart that it would do him no good. He needed to stay away from her. He knew what his parent where like, they wouldn't let him be with Gabby. He needed to spare her the heartbreak even though he was certain that there wasn't much sparing to be done on her part and his.
There wasn't much that could be done to change it, he had learnt from his mistake. Getting through this deal with GALA was his top priority and after that he wouldn't have to see Gabby again. With a sigh he glanced at his wrist watch, he was late. He had a meeting with the executives of LEE today and he was running late. Not a really good first impression as a CEO. The traffic wasn't cooperating either. After spending an hour on the road the car finally came to a stop in front of the y'all building and he got out
"Morning Sir" Tom his secretary greeted him.
"Morning Tom, I know I am late for the meeting, traffic was hectic. Is Lana here yet?"
"Yes Sir. She is waiting for you in the conference room."
Lana was going to handle most of the dealings with GALA, because the misogynist in Tan's father felt she was better off in fashion. A woman had no business with corporate affairs. He really couldn't stand the old man most of the time and this morning was one of those times. It was because of his that he couldn't let himself be happy with Gabby. Even as he thought it he felt like a complete coward.
Lana hadn't notice his entrance into the room. Her face lit up as she spoke to Leo in low tone. Tan suspected something between her and Leo but didn't want to be the one to point it out. If it was serious Lana would have told him. Maybe it was secret because they both knew how their father would react to it. Even though Yohan Lee liked Leo, it wasn't to the extent of Leo been his son in-law. They knew to tread lightly. Tan was of course reminded of his own situation and he resented his father even more.
"Good morning everyone." Tan announced his presence. Lana and Leo both noticeably jumped like Tan had put a needle to burst their little bubble. If they were keeping their relationship a secret Tan was going to keep his opinions to himself but they were doing a terrible job of keeping it a secret. The other members of the executives stood up and gave a uniform bow in greeting as Tan pulled a chair to sit, to bgin their meeting.
"The chair looks good with you in it. The whole office intact. Congratulations brother, I cannot wait to see the look on Mr Lee's face when He sees what you've done to his old office. He's going to be so furious."
Tan laughed as his little sister comment as he adjusted his position on the chair.
"I'm sure you know me well enough to know that I can't help getting dear old Dad furious." She smirked and pulled out the chair from the front of my desk and made herself comfortable. Her feet hung across the arm rest. Dami Lee would have a feel if she sees her daughter sitting like that. Tan chuckled to himself and looked from his watch to his sister, "What are you doing here anyways. I thought you were going with Leo to see Laila"
"Nah...not today, I would be checking out office spaces today, but I wanted to first of all see my amazing brother" she picked at her nails uninterested in the man in front of her. Tan didn't know for sure but he was willing to bet that Lana had every intention of going to check those office spaces and with Leo.
"Did I just hear my name?" Leo appeared in the doorway with a carefree grin in place. "Did you miss me so much that you can't help saying my name and how much you love me Tan?"-
Tan snorted "as if, get over yourself Leo, I was just asking Lana if you were both going to see Laila together". Leo grimmed with mischief and placed his hands over. "You would be Tan tan." Tan laughed at the annoying nickname. "Just wanted to inform you that I sent you a copy of the contract and business proposal for you to go through it"
"Yeah, saw it, I was just skimming through it before you walked in, I will send it to the legal team to go through it"
"That's settled then, I should be on my way then". Leo said and turned away from the door but not before waving at Lana who waved back Z
"They should really put more effort in keeping their relationship a secret because I can see right through their bullshit" Tan thought to himself.
He glanced away from them for a moment and turned to his laptop, typing absent mindedly. He pitied his sister; it was only both of them who knew firsthand what their father was like. They both struggled for his father especially Lana. If Tan worked hard she worked twice as hard. That was why Tan knew dating Leo was dangerous game she was playing. He loved both of them dearly but feared they would suffer the same fate as he did. That is subjecting Lana to marry her father's choice, to him loving someone when you were from their house hold, always ended in heartbreak. The reminder of that whispered in his ear and echoed in his heart leaving an unimaginable pain in his heart.
"I heard you went to Boston to see Gabby. How is she holding up?" Lana asked with concern in her voice.
"She is waiting for the inevitable" Tan replied with a sullen face.
Tan had forgotten about Gabby, he did not call hr to notify he had arrived New York safely and it was his intention to keep it that way. That was why he made sure that he wasn't involved in the business dealings with GALA; he was so sure Gabby would hate him more now.
He didn't know what he would do if he sees her again. The thought of her sharpened the need inside him to a knife's edge.
Hours later, his phone rang. He glanced at his phone. It was Gabby and another kind of warmth streamed through him. Indescribable. This made a lot of sense after what happened between them. It'd been days since he heard hr calming voice. The voice he heard begging him to make love to her. Lana had left to see the office spaces as she said earlier and he was the only one in the office. This gave him space to shudder.
It had been days since that night in his hotel room, since they'd mind blowing sex on his bed.
He had played the scenario over and over again his head and he could recollect everything that went down. It was like Gabby had put a spell on him, because she was all he could think about, morning, day and night.
He didn't call her so that he wouldn't find his way back to Boston, God knows what he would have done to any man who dares look at her or even breathes her name. He would have let the whole world know that she was his and nobody else. He convinced himself that the boundary was needed for both of them. Even if he failed to admit it, what they shared that night was more than sex.
"Hey," he said as he picked up the phone from his desk. "You did not call to tell me, you got to New York alright, I was worried," guilt ate at him and he opened his mouth to say something but no worfs came to out. "Look Tan, I know you regretted what happened between us," Gabby said in a low voice.
Damn, straight to the point as always. "I don't regr–"
"Yes you do. I know you so well Tan." She did know him better than everyone else. He had only let her get so close."You shouldn't regret it though, I know you didn't want to take it as anything more than sex. it was just sex to me too. Tan you and I know we can't be together. I am not a fool Tan, I trusted you with my body, but nothing else. I know we cannot be together." Her words broke his heart. Did she really believe that? Did he want her to? Of course. It was the easiest route and the coward in him was going to run away. God he was frustrated.
"I know." He finally admitted. The fact that there wasn't going to be anything between them choked at him but it was for the better.
"Good. We're in agreement then."
"Yes." Gabby had always been the mature one of them both and even now when he avoided their problems and wished it away she confronted it head on. "What about your mum? sorry I didn't call to check up."
"She died the day you left for New York." She paused then continued "I should be in New York tomorrow, bye."
Tan felt guilt washed over him, as the call ended. His selfishness did not make him think to call Gabby and find out about her mother. He was a total scumbag and Gabby was right they couldn't be together. Shouldn't.