"This is how we're saying goodbye to New York?" Hamish questioned as he and I stood at the rooftop of the building where the Lawler & Walsh office was going to be in New York. We stood side by side, waiting for Erika to come back after her phone rang.
I nodded and let my hair down, my arms stretched out to my sides and let the breeze kiss me. "Of course, Hame."
"Are you wishing for Jack to come hold you and you'll tell him you're flying?"
"Shut up!" I hissed. "Let me enjoy this moment right now. Who knows when I'll get the chance to do this again?"
"Are you mocking me?"
"Huh?" I turned and faced him. As I focused at his squinted eyes, I realized that I said something similar to what he said the morning after. I faintly smiled at him, crossing my arms over my chest as I apologized and added, "For what it's worth, you and I wouldn't have worked anyway."
"Oh really?" He scoffed, sounding a bit in disbelief that I agreed to everything he's told me. "And what makes you say that, Annie?"
"Well, for starters, we have the worst chemistry ever. You suck at cooking, you drive an ugly car back in LA, you can't afford to have a high maintenance girlfriend like me, but the main reason will always be because you eat my food." I was only joking, and he knew that. This was probably the last time we could banter like this before we head back to Los Angeles, there was a high chance that we wouldn't be able to see each other as often - and the obvious - that our light banter would be easily misinterpreted.
"Pfft, Annie, you're just in denial that I'm such an amazing guy." He replied with a wink.
"You're more of a dork."
We both laughed, hands at our stomachs as we let our fits of laughter escape us, letting the echoes go on and on across the buildings to down below. I let the euphoria take over me, the elated feeling felt absolutely amazing. I hadn't let myself laugh uncontrollably in a long time, and I didn't want it to stop. We were at it until the cramps kicked in at the side of my stomach, I held onto it tight and eased down slowly, wiping a the bit of water at the corners of my eyes afterwards.
"Okay, what the hell?" Erika revealed herself with three wine glasses and a bottle of champagne, she cocked her eyebrow up and her lips pouted in confusion as she came closer. "You two have this weird bond."
"Don't worry, boo, we're just sucking in the last breath of New York before our flight, and I think we sucked in a little too much." I explained.
"Weirdos." She teased as she each handed us a glass, well, I held onto hers while she popped open the bottle, the cork flew over to the door and the champagne fizzed out, which caused us all to take a step back so our clothes wouldn't get wet. As she poured each glass, she said, "I'm going to make a toast."
"For what?"
Hamish raised his glass first, taking the bottle off Erika along the way. "Doesn't matter, Annie? This is like the calm before the storm, just let it happen." He advised, he looked like loosened up a bit.
I nodded and raised my glass too. "Alright, alright."
Erika cleared her throat, she coughed once and then raised her glass as high as ours. She smiled, looked at Hamish then me before returning to the three glasses in between us. Her smile faded, sighed and said, "I know there will be hell once we touch down in Los Angeles. We're about to face one of the most powerful men in Lawler & Walsh, and heck, I won't lie to the two of you that I'm scared and if I could say it immaturely, I'm fucking pissing myself. But I'd rather work in an environment that is safe than one where employees are controlled through manipulation, blackmail and fear. I'm dedicating this toast to Janina Miller, her cold case will finally be solved."
"For Janina Miller." Hamish added and the rims of our glasses all tapped before we gulped down the contents of it without a second to waste.
Once we touch down in LA, we're about to face one of our fears. And I'm also - as Erika said it nicely - fucking pissing myself.
We enjoyed the view, the last time of peace and the bottle of champagne together up on that roof. We didn't say anything to each other after that toast, we just let the time pass and we lingered in our own thoughts. Well, I don't know about them, but I for one, came to terms that once I got on that plane and left New York, there was a massive possibility that the old Marianne Lawler that my two closest friends tried desperately to convince me to bring back, may not be coming with me to Los Angeles. There was a big chance that from this point onwards, everything I did and everything I was about to do may not allow my old self to return.
I guess I now knew how Dominic felt. His own battles with both new and old. I was there now. And it's so damn hard.
My phone ruined the serenity between the three of us, I snapped out of my head, the other two did too. Erika was the first to excuse herself, she took the empty glasses from us and struggled to pull the empty bottle from Hamish before she left ahead of us. I took a peek of my phone, the preview of a message from Dominic came to view, and I naturally pulled it out and read it without realizing that Hamish stood unnaturally close to me and read it with me.
'I'm left at work overnight, but the first thing in the morning, I'll be home. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.'
I sighed. "I guess you could enjoy that bed one more time, huh?" I heard Hamish comment right into my left ear, his chest pressed up against my arm and his breath brushed against the back of my neck.
For some reason, it felt right.
"I supposed." I mumbled and put the phone back into the other back pocket of my jeans, I crossed my arms and embraced myself, a longer sigh followed. "I'm not going to reply. If I did, I know I can't leave."
"That guy's a lucky bastard to have someone do all this for him without him noticing."
I leaned closer to him, his scent fully taking over my nose, I fully pressed my side against him as I asked, "Am I doing the right thing though?"
Hamish wrapped his arms around me, his head leaned atop of mine. He kept quiet, his heart heavily pulsed against his chest that I felt it against my arm. We stayed like that for a moment, like he once said, we enjoyed this moment knowing there was a zero possibility a chance like this would ever happen at the end of it. I allowed him to emotionally expose himself to me while he did the same for me.
"We should go, Hame. Erika might nag us to death if we don't get down there in time." I slipped out of his hold, the air suddenly began to feel colder as I began to make my way to the door.
He suddenly reached for my hand and twirled me around to turn him. His face shadowed by the sun, I could only see his blue eyes staring right into me.
"What's up?"
"Before I forget-" I thought he was going to kiss me, but he stopped an inch away. "Annie- I-"
"Hame, be honest with me."
He shifted his eyes away from our contact a second then back to mine. His lips parted, his teeth came into view as he began to speak- "Annie, the reason I can't be with you by the end of this is because I made a promise to your Dad that no matter what happens between you and I, I can't act on it because you will always be Dominic's-"
"What does that mean?" I frowned.
"I know. I didn't get it at all the first time I heard it, and trust me, your Dad's repeated it so many times since you started working. But then Dominic called me when I got home last night-" His serious face softened as he chuckled at my surprised expression. "I know, he is the last person you and I would think to call me. But he did, and he asked me how you were and told me that he was too afraid to call you knowing that some client answered his phone for him the other night while he went to the bathroom-"
"That woman was his client? Pfft-"
He used his other hand to cover my mouth. "Annie, stop fucking interrupting me."
I giggled against his palm and nodded mockingly at him.
"Listen, as much as I hate your pompous, bastard soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, the way he talked to me about you last night- Well, now I understand why you love him and why your Dad is constantly reminding me about not acting on my feelings."
I pried his hand off me and tried my best to hide away a smile. "W-What are you saying?"
"I told you this once, and I'll say it again - even if you still don't believe in it." Hamish smiled, a warm yet rather sad one that showed how he truly felt. I saw it when he first confessed to me all those years ago, before he left to Chicago, and the second time was the day after we had sex, but this one, I really hoped it was the last I'd see it, because it did hurt me too.
"Don't say it." I teased, playing along to lighten the mood.
"You two are soulmates."
"Fucking hell, Hame. I said don't say it."
"Serious though, Annie-"
I covered his mouth this time, shutting his off his sudden sentimental mood. I shook my head and said, "I'll believe it when by the end of all of this, he and I get back together."
We both smiled. Well I did, I'm not sure if Hamish did, but by the way his eyes curved and partially covering the blue in his eyes, he must've smiled back. And it was confirmed that he did when he took my hands away from his face and the curve on his lips stayed on for a while.
"We should really go now, Erika will have our heads." This time he said it.
And this time, I grabbed his hand to turn him around and said, "Thank you, Hame."
He gave me a light nod and a devious grin, I didn't have a chance to ask before I was suddenly dragged me with him as we went back down. I could've sworn I nearly fell over a couple of times down the steps.
All three of us made it to the airport. Karen and the other soon-to-be senior associates left earlier than us, and Judge Cole, well, no idea what happened to him. He called me though, he told me to have a safe flight and reminded me to talk to my Father as soon as I got back. I wasn't going to do that straight away. I had other things to do, the most important would be talking with Dominic, our talk would make things easier for me to do without my conscience reminding me every second that I loved the man.
I could imagine him at work right now, sitting there at his desk with his right hand holding the black ink pen firmly between his fingers, his other placed flatly over a folder as his pretty hazel eyes skimmed through the documents in front of him, and while he read, a little wrinkle between his brows as well as his kissable lips pursed together, his right dimple occasionally making an appearance as he does so.
I missed him.
I know I've said it over and over - I even tried to convince myself that I didn't feel anything for him by imagining him with Rebecca James, but I couldn't.
Most of my flight consisted of thinking about what to say, what to do and how to do it without jumping onto Dominic as soon as he walked through the door, pressing my lips all over him and giving him the tightest hug. I always did it when he left for trips to other offices, leaving me alone for days, and the old Dominic used to do it when I went out of LA and left him alone for days. We were that cheesy, we were that loving, well, we were that couple that showed they love each other so bloody much that it made the people around them cringe.
"Annie, will you be okay?"
I smiled and nodded at Erika and Hamish, we were headed our separate ways, the next I'd see them would be at work, first thing on Monday morning. I waved goodbye to them as I reached the exit, and I was pretty surprised to see Mick waiting for me in his suit and tie.
"Hey Ms Lawler."
My heart raced. I wasn't prepared to see Dominic yet, and in a state of panic, I began to freeze all over and stuttered, "M-Mick? Is D-Dominic he-here?"
He shook his head. "Relax, Ms Lawler, he sent me here to make sure you get home okay," He replied as he opened the back passenger door for me. "Besides, I haven't had the chance to talk to you in a long time."
"I didn't think you'd miss me too, Mick." I remarked as I let go of the handle of my luggage and slipped right into the back seat.
I froze... Again.
Next to me was a bouquet of roses, similar to the one Dominic bought me for my birthday. There was a card with his handwriting that repeated what his text message said from earlier, and he signed his name at the end. And I'm assuming that I missed him so much that I could even smell his scent on the card, the expensive cologne he used every day since the day I met him, he hadn't bothered to change as he said that it gave him luck in finding me, so it'll give him luck every day if he wore it.
"Mick-" I called as soon as the driver swooped into his seat, his body turned slightly, his attention directed straight at me. "Why is Dominic not home tonight?"
"I just dropped him off at your Father's home, they've got a client who is getting a divorce and has the potential to ruin her Family's business, so-" He shrugged.
"Okay. Thank you."
"Don't worry, Ms Lawler." He turned back to face the front, but made eye contact through the rearview mirror, a wink followed as he said, "Mr Walsh will be home as soon as you wake up tomorrow morning."
I looked out the window and watched the view change throughout the ride back to the apartment. I kept quiet, I didn't have anything else to say about the topic, but I listened in on Mick as he caught me up to his life like he usually did when we were alone, while Elvis Presley sang in the background. This was similar to when Dominic and I were sent to take a personal break at Nathaniel's getaway home, where we faught the moment I arrived and spent a week not talking to each other like we should have. It was the first time I ever expressed my want and need for the old Dominic, the first time I ever returned the engagement ring since he asked me to marry him, and it was the first time I felt I became selfish.
When the sight of the apartment building came to view, I was afraid to walk out. I waited for Mick to open the door for me instead, and it was more exhausting than it was relaxing to be home. The term 'home sweet home' wasn't a good thing to hear from Mick as soon as I got down. It was more of a bittersweet return home, and I didn't look forward to it at all.
"Goodnight, Ms Lawler. And remember-" I heard Mick call out to me, his voice raspier as it got louder as I didn't stop walking while he talked. "-Everything will be alright."
Everything will be alright?
I rolled my eyes as I realized he quoted Bob Marley's song that played right before I got down. Mick knew how to lighten the mood. I'm sure he knew the current situation between Dominic and I too - maybe that's why he's acting just as weird?
My head was a blank again, I couldn't think straight on my way up, my fingers fiddled with the ribbon that held the bouquet together, the roses presed against my face and I cradled them like a baby. I reminded myself over and over that I needed to get through this weekend without a mental breakdown again, or at least, without screwing up the plan that was carefully laid out for me yesterday. If I didn't do what I said I'll do for this weekend, then major delays and major road blocks would come up when time came to face Nathaniel head on. Erika and Hamish's hard efforts would go to waste if I didn't execute my side of the plan.
I twisted the key to the apartment door, I took deep breaths in between to build up as much confidence as I could before I opened the door and dropped everything. The lights were on and there was a subtle sound of music coming from the television. I scanned all over to find things out of the ordinary.
Then to the middle.
"Dominic." I gasped.
"Annie." The way he said my name-
I dropped everything, slammed the door and did what I didn't want to do from the very start.
What can I do?
I missed him so much. He is, after all, my soulmate.
▁▁▁
Author's Note:
Aw man, another filler...
Sorry! I just needed a connector for the next chapter, which I already wrote halfway and realized that it seemed too long and weird so I trimmed it and copied half of what I already wrote here and this is what happened.
My brain is weird.
Thanks for everything my dear readers, you are all rockstars!
x
SDB
(p.s, early update because I'm going to be busy watching the Manny Pacquiao - Floyd Mayweather jr. fight today.
#gomannypacquaio)