𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐈𝐧 𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 ~ 𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐜 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧
Warning: Angst, (Jae-Ha x 'Thick' reader x ''Kinda' Kija)
(COLLEGE AU) ( You're college age and Jae-ha is roughly 20 in this )
Words: 1.6k
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I thought love was pure.....I thought it would come both ways......
However......
I didn't realise how harsh reality is when only you love someone, yet it was only one sided. The pain throbbing in your heart, the love you carried was snapped into two........
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"Hey Jae-Ha........baby, you listening?" I questioning, tapping his shoulder. Class finished, and everyone was chatting about our project we were just assigned.
He snaps out of his monotonous gaze, before seeing a slight glare flicker behind his violet eyes.
"What? I'm listening," he firmly replies, his voice deepens.
Shuddering with how cold he voice sounded, I tap my finger against the desk nervously. "Um.......we're gonna do the project together, right?"
He clicks against his front teeth, "Whatever,"
Soon he rests his head against his palm, when I follow his gaze. Her fiery red hair glows brightly, while she walks by the class. His eyes drag across, following her every movement before she's out of sight.
"Her hair is so red," I comment, purely and out of honesty.
He hums in response, "Yes, indeed gorgeous......like the blush of dawn,"
My heart snaps with those few words, I sunk back in my seat.
Where did our relationship gone wrong? I mean, I have been loyal all the way through and I'm not possessive like some. His eyes follows Yona's groegous presence every day, not once has he looked at me or glanced at me with such admiration like he does to her. Swallowing thickly, I shove my books into my bags before standing up. He held no reaction to my departure, before shove my chair in with a sharp slam to the edge of the desk.
Swiftly heading out, I chew my bottom lip feeling my anxiety rising.
****
"Hey, so what I was think--" before I could continue my opinion on our project, he cuts me off.
"Can we do this another time, I have something to do........." he pushes himself from his chair, before heading out the study room.
Blinking a few times, I hum softly.
"Sure..........take care then......" my voice almost breaking, tucking my book away in front of me. Soon the door shuts behind him, allowing the silence to envelope me only hearing my slow beating heart. My hands slowly tighten in frustration, before I lift my covered wrists. Unfolding my sleeves, bared healed cuts from a few years ago. The pain that held within those scars, were painful.
Was I so naive to allow myself in another relationship? To let him use me, and then toss me aside?
I knew he was distant, I knew it was coming to an end.......but I wanted to deny it.....
*******
"Oi........(Y/N)!"
Turning around I saw Kija walking up to me, as he held a bright smile.
"Kija, what can I do for you?" my head tilting up, due to how tall he was compared to me.
He scratches his cheek, "Well, wanted to know if you wanted to have lunch with the gang?"
My eyes slowly widen, realising they still wanted me around.
"We've noticed that you've been eating lunch alone for a while, so please.......come with us?" he pleads softly, but not pressuring me also. His smile was so soft, warm and sweet. You would mistake him as the sun even, that's how bright he smiles.
"Okay........but will......will Kija be there?"
He shook his head, making my heart sink. Nevertheless, I still continued to follow and sat with Hak, Shin-ah, Zeno and Yona. Sat cross-legged, I take a bite from my bento I made while chewing quietly. My mind trailing back to Jae-Ha, but then shook my head to try and not think about him just for lunch.
"So.......heard you got straight grades for (S/N) (Subject name)," Hak breaks the silence, turning to me.
My eyes slowly fly open, turning to him with a small swallow of rice.
"Hmmm.....yeah, I might be able to apply for a job soon even," I smile weakly, as the job I'm aiming for was my dream. Something I studied hard for, long before my relationships began. No matter how hard I struggled with that, my dream kept me going at least.
"Wow, that's so good," Kija compliments, cheeks warming up with encouragement. "Wish I was that smart, I'm still struggling with a few subjects......but I will get there."
Yona softly giggles, "It's okay Kija, you will.....we all believe you will,"
My eyes fall upon the beautiful girl, hair so brightly red and eyes violet like shining diamonds. I envied her beauty, lacked her kindness she gives to others. Suddenly a lump in my throat forms, feeling a few tears stray to the corners of my eyes.
No, go away.....I can't cry in front of them.....I must stay strong.....
Biting back my tears, I gingerly wipe them away before anyone who could see. Yet Shin-ah caught me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. Jumping n surprise, he apologises quietly making me turn to him with my cheeks warming up to the tears.
"Are you okay, (Y/N)?" he whispers, concern lacing his voice.
My breath hitches in my throat feeling weak with those three words, but I nod bravely before stuffing my face quickly with food to not draw attention. My chest felt heavy, tight and made it difficult to breath.
"Hey gang, sorry I was late," I hear a familiar voice, making me pause. "Lost (Y/N) an--"
He stops before seeing me, while my eyes were glassy and red.
"Finally, where were you......it's almost the end of lun--"
I shot up from my spot straight away and bowed to everyone, thanking them for inviting me before walking off leaving Jae-ha standing there. I knew he was lying about losing me, I knew he was lying about even searching me. He never searches for me, not anymore as of late.
"(Y/N)!"
"Wait (Y/N), Zeno wants (Y/N to stay!"
A hand latches around my wrist causing me to halt in place, recognising his hand my eyes meet with golden eyes. "Shin-ah, I'm alright," I assure him, when Zeno got behind me and pushes me back to the group.
"Come on, we're letting go away," Zeno laughs, not realising what was going on.
Soon they plopped me down beside Shin-ah and Kija, while Jae-Ha sat beside Yona. Sitting there awkwardly, my eyes kept avoiding his. My breath quickens, while feeling overwhelmed with why he's acting this way.
"Oi......."
I want to leave, do my the project by myself....
"Oi (Y/N)!"
My eyes snap up to meet his, only to feel his stare feel more tense than before.
"Huh?"
"Why aren't you speaking to me, huh? Were you avoiding me?" He questions, bitterly while my eyelashes flutter unable to explain to him. My fingers fiddle and play with the hem of my shirt, swallowing thickly.
"U-Um....."
"If you're gonna not be with me, we might as well just be friends.....you seriously don't know how to please men.....especially me,"
The others look his way while I sat there facing the facts, my throat growing dry.
"Jae-ha.....that's--"
"You're just boring, hard to even look at now........why did you have to let yourself go?" he gestures to all of me, while I cover my body up.
"Hey Jae-ha, that's really uncalled for!" Hak snaps angrily.
Kija hums in agreement, "Yeah, what's with you?!"
Jae-Ha rolls his eyes, "Can't you see yourselves, she's filled out a little than before we started dating!" he gestures, more vehemently. His voice raises higher, leaving me sitting there taking in the same accusations I was told a few years ago.
My hands were trembling, tears were threatening to fall before cascading down my cheeks.
"I-I see............you prefer fit or slim, perfect girls........" my voice trembles, and breaks.
"(Y/N)," Yona pleads, before turning to Jae-ha and slapped him harshly across the face. "How dare you say that to a girl, we're very self-conscious with our weights. I think she's perfect, but your heart is disgusting now!"
"Yona ple--"
She shook her head, while I stood up and ran away from the group.
******
Sitting down outside to get some fresh air, my body was trembling and trying to recover from his words. He doesn't understand how hard it's been, the past that kept me back in my mental state. How do I recover? The trust, how naive I am........it's pathetic.
"(Y/N)...."
I sniffle, while wiping the tears away.
Kija sat down beside me slowly before placing his hand gently against my back, while rubbing gently. "He shouldn't have said those things, he doesn't understand true beauty," He says softly, making me whimper n response.
"It's pathetic to see me cry, isn't it?"
He shook his head, "It's not, what he said was uncalled for,"
"Was it though? I did put a little weight, but I've been so busy studying for my dream to come true an--"
He places his other hand against my shoulder, pulling me close to make me stare into his eyes.
"Weight doesn't define you, your heart does," he sternly replies, before caressing my cheek gently cupping it. "You're (Y/N) (L/N), you're a fighter.....a sweet and beautiful woman who puts others before herself......."
"Kija,"
He leans down close to me, before pressing a soft kiss to my temple.
"You're someone who deserves love more than anything," he whispers softly, as my cheek burn red with tears still streaming down. He wipes them away tenderly, "and I will gladly make sure you will be alright, we're all here for you."
Embracing him tightly, I breath in relief and comfort with just his presence.
"Thank you......Kija,"
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A/N: Hey guys, if you have any ideas for my imagines it would be gladly appreciated. Also requests are open, but may take a while. So anything stay safe and have a great day/night
~ Little Bean