After what happened, umuwi na kami kaagad kinabukasan. I have avoided every calls and messages for a week already.
Now, I'm staring blankly at the ceiling, still thinking what I'll do. I just cried the whole night, not realizing na umaga na pala.
"Blue, you wanna come with me?" tanong sa akin ni Ava.
"Where are you going?" I asked not looking at her.
"Let's go out, you need sunlight, Blue. One week ka nang ganyan." she said seriously.
"I can't..." I whispered.
"Come on Blue, you can't just stay there and avoid it. Kinukulit na ako ni Lucas at di niya na tinatanggap ang mga excuses ko." she answered.
"I'll call him." I said not looking at her.
"Okay, everything will be alright blue. Take risk. If he really loves you, he'll understand." she said then left my dorm.
After a few hours, I decided to call him.
"Love..." sagot niya sa kabilang linya.
I don't know what to say. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa kanya ang lahat. I really want to be selfish right now and just let everything go on without him knowing about Celine.
"Love, are you okay?" he asked in a serious tone.
A tear fell from my eyes. When will I hear him, call me with so much love again. I know for a fact na kapag dumating ang panahon na malaman niya, he will leave me.
I sighed.
"Love..." he called me again with worry in his voice.
"I miss you..." I answered him. Okay, 1 year.
All I need is a year, then after that... I'll let you go.
• • •
Nagsimula na ulit ang klase namin and finally we are on our last year as PT students. 4th year na kami and we will start our internship soon.
"Loveee!! Tara sabay na tayo lunch." hila ko kay Lucas.
"Wait, I'll just finish this." sabi niya at tinuloy ang ginagawa niya.
"Let's go na, later na yan bukas pa naman ang deadline." I said pero hindi niya ako pinansin.
"Ako na nga lang mag-isa." I walked out the room at naglakad na papunta sa cafeteria. I saw him looked at me pero di ko na siya pinansin.
Naglalakad ako nang bigla akong harangin ni Sebastian sa dinadaanan ko.
"Out of the way." sabi ko pero di siya gumalaw. Lalampasan ko sana siya ulit kaso humarang nanaman siya. Ano bang problema ng lalaking to.
"I need to tell you something." he said with a serious tone. Medyo kinabahan ako sa boses niya.
"Please don't waste my time. Kung sasabihin mo lang sa akin na alam mo ang nakaraan ko, okay---"
"I was there." he said which made me confused. I gave him a questioning look pero nagulat ako nang bigla niyang hilain ang kamay ko.
"What are you doing?!" reklamo ko sa kanya pero di niya ako pinansin hanggang sa tumigil kami sa pinakalikod ng cafeteria kung saan walang tao.
Binitawan niya ako at humarap siya sa akin.
"I was there... During the accident I was with you and Celine." he said.
"What?! What do you mean? During that time it was just the 4 bastards, Celine, me and--
"Baste." he finished my sentence. I can feel my heartbeat getting faster and faster.
"How did you know that?" I asked trying not to show the shaking of my voice.
He just looked at me straight in my eyes. "Blue, it's me." deretsong sagot niya.
I held on the wall to support myself from falling. I saw him walk towards me but I stopped him.
"A-are y-you him?" deretsong tanong ko sa kanya kahit na naginginig na ang boses ko ngayon.
He walked towards me and I saw how the tears from his eyes started falling. He hugged me tighly.
"I'm sorry, Blue... For leaving you and Celine during that time." he cried. "I was so scared... I'm sorry..."
I cannot process everything. When I was crying for help during that time, he left us. Celine could've survived if he didn't left. Why Baste?
I pushed him and I slapped him really hard.
"Buhay pa sana si Celine! Baste, bakit? I cried... I cried for help that time.. Hoping that someone would help us.." my voice cracked.
"You were there!! a-and... and you did nothing!" I cried as I was hitting his chest. "Why?!"
He held both of my fist and looked directly in my eyes. "I saved you..." a tear fell from his eyes.
With those words, my knees gave up. Everyone thought that I left Celine alone to die during that time. But... He was the one who saved me and left Celine there.
"Bumalik ako, Blue... At akala ko huli na ako dahil nakita ko na kayong dalawa ni Celine na wala ng malay a-and both of you were covered in blood. Ikaw ang una kong dinala sa hospital pero binalikan ko si Celine, but the police were already there."
"H-hinayaan mo na lang sana akong m-mamatay." I said.
"Blue, please don't say that.."
"Leave me alone. Now." I said as my voice shakes.
"Blue, please..." he begged.
"This will be the last time you will talk to me." I said firmly.
"Blue... I can't just leave you like that."
"Yes you can, just like what you did a few years ago." I answered.
"Blue, please..." he held my hand.
"Let her go."
I felt my heart stopped. I looked at him. He is staring at me with worry and anger in his eyes. Did he hear everything?
"Let her go." he walked towards me at hiniwalay niya ang kamay ni baste sa kamay ko.
"You don't know what's going on right now. Don't get involved." sabi ni Baste.
Lucas didn't answer at hinila niya ang kamay ko.
"You are that guy, right? Celine's bestfriend..." diretsong sabi ni Baste na nagpatigiln sa amin sa paglalakad.
No, no, please Baste. Hindi pa tapos ang isang taon, hindi ko pa kaya...
"And you are that guy right? Her cousin who did nothing but give her trouble?" Lucas answered at tiningnan niya ito. I can see anger and pain in his eyes.
"She called you that time... At hindi mo man lang napansin na nahihirapan na siya---" Lucas punched him.
"Lucas, calm down please..." I held his hand but I don't think he can hear me this time.
"You could've save her if only you noticed!" Baste continued at isa pang suntok ang nakuha niya dahil doon.
"Baste!! Shut up!!" I shouted habang pinipigilan ko si Lucas sa paglapit kay Baste. There is so much anger in him.
"You could've save Celine and... Blue from all this nightmare!!" Baste shouted.
I saw how Lucas looked at me with pain in his eyes. His tears started falling.
"W-what do you mean?" Lucas just stared at me.
"I'm sorry..." I cried and held his hand.
"She was with Celine that time." Baste answered.
Lucas just looked at me and he let go of my hands. "Y-you were there... and you did not even tell me." He laughed but I can see pain in his eyes. "That explains your reaction when I told you that story." nakita kong tumulo ang luha niya pero mabilis niya itong pinunansan.
"Lucas..."
"You were there..." his voice cracked. "Why did you leave her a-alone?" He asked with tears in his eyes.
I didn't know what to say. Injust felt my tears falling endlessly. I expected this but I never thought that hearing this directly from him would be a billion times painful.
"I-I didn't Lucas..." I tried reaching his hands but he just took a step back away from me. "I'm sorry..." I tried to hug him but he stopped me.
Silence. But this silence is not the usual silence that comforted us but rather a silence that is filled with pain.
"Lucas..." I called him.
"I can't even look at you now, Blue." He said which made me scared. Not yet please...
"Lucas, pleasee..." I held his hand.
"I still have that one promise from our deal" he said. Pinunasan niya ang luha niya then he looked at me. "Can you do me a favor..." I can hear his voice shaking.
I nodded my head as I looked into his eyes.
"Let us let each other go now, my Genevieve..." He said directly looking in my eyes.
A tear fell in my eyes as I see his back getting farther away from me...
"Lucas!!" I called him and he stopped walking but he did not turn his back.
"I love you, my Sky..." I said one last time.
And he just continued walking...
___________________________________________
Author's Note:
Moonciel°
Apologies for the super late update. I had to prioritize my studies and mental health for awhile. But rest assured that I will be updating more chapters a little bit faster now.
Lovelots, C.