CHAPTER ELEVEN:
"What was that about?" Mikey asks me with wide eyes.
"Um Frank was just joking around." I say. I hope and pray to all the gods that he didn't see me kiss Frank. Please let the ground swallow me up whole.
"What was that kiss about?" He asks me with wide eyes.
"W-What?" I stutter. Shit.
"He just kissed you on the cheek before you left." Mikey reminds me. Oh my heaven he didn't see us actual kiss. There is a god.
"Oh he kisses me on the cheek sometimes when we say goodbye. That's nothing." I brush off.
"Isn't it going to make it harder on you because you have feelings for him?" Mikey asks out of concern. He then leads me to a section that needs to be fixed.
"I am fine." I say.
"Also what was that back there when I found you guys...very close that you both jumped apart when I came out of the stock room?" He questions me.
"I-I don't...don't even know." I say truthfully.
"Ok...just be careful. If you think Frank is acting in a way he shouldn't you need to tell him. He's very respectful." Mikey says.
"Yeah I know." He only kissed me the first time because I wanted him to. After that it seems like we both wanted it.
FRANK'S POV:
I leave Barnes & Noble, and I sigh deeply. What am I doing? I suddenly brush a hand through my hair. I need a drag. I pull out a cigarette, and take a drag outside.
Lila.
I want her. I've wanted her since I met her. Deep down I know this. The feelings just keep on growing.
In the one week that I've known her we've kissed three times. I still want to kiss her over and over again. When we watched that scary movie, and she bit my neck I was so turned on. What is she trying to do to me?
Yeah I like Lila. The more things I learn about her the more it grows. We do have chemistry. I hate when we call each other friends. We both know it's all bullshit.
Gerard is going to kill me. I groan. I don't care though. I want to be with her. I want to make her happy, and be the only one she kisses.
What am I going to do?
Before I leave the door opens, and Mikey is in front of me.
"You," He says in a serious tone.
"Yeah." I look at him.
"Whatever you are doing. You better not be leading Lila on. She's in our group. You need to be careful of what you are doing." Mikey says in a very concerned voice. "I don't know what's going on between you two, but you two better be sure of what you are doing."
"Mikey I don't ever want to hurt her. It's never going to be my intention."
"What is your intention?" He asks me.
"I don't know at the moment." I feel so conflicted.
"Sort yourself out before you hurt her." He warns me.
"I agree completely with you." I can't kiss her again. Until I sort out what I want to do. Maybe even with my want to be with her isn't enough.
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LILA'S POV:
My shift ends in ten minutes.
"So Frank is taking you to dinner?" Mikey questions me. I told him what Frank told me before he left.
"Yeah. I told him he doesn't have to." I roll my eyes.
"That's nice of him."
"You ok?" I ask Mikey.
"I'm just worried about you two."
"You don't have to worry."
"You both are just being dumb. You aren't being careful with your friendship." Mikey notes. I bite my lip. He was sort of right.
"We are ok. I'll be more careful ok?" I look at Mikey. He looks at me and smiles a small smile.
"All right." He says.
------
Frank takes me to this small diner not too far from his house.
"You really don't have to take me out." I tell him again for like the tenth time.
"Lila I want to take you to dinner. Sheesh is that such a crime." Frank says while chuckling.
"Why though?" I ask him.
"Because I want to hang out with you more. And I have to eat before my gig. So I thought why not." He smiles at me weakly.
"You ok?" I ask before we go inside.
"Yeah I am fine." He starts to walk towards the door. I grab his arm gently, and he turns to me.
"What is it?" I ask him.
"I just feel like this past week we may have done things friends don't do. No we definitely did things that friends don't do. I feel like I am being a bad friend. I am sorry for everything."
"Do you regret it?" I ask him. My chest is hurting.
"No, never." He says so softly. His voice cracks slightly.
"But it didn't mean anything, right?" I ask him. I am scared to hear his answer. Maybe I don't want to know.
"Lila I think it's best we don't talk about that right now." He says.
"What do you mean?" He bites his lip in deep thought.
"Lila. I don't think it's a good idea to talk about that unless..." I feel so nervous.
"Unless we wanted something more than friendship."
"OK... yeah you're right. I'm sorry I brought it up." I couldn't admit my feelings. What if he didn't have any for me? It would be so awkward.
FRANK'S POV:
I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell her that I was confused. Or if I was being honest with myself I wasn't confused. But I was afraid.
The fear of losing her is greater than being with her. Because what if we didn't work out? I didn't want to loose our friendship. She's already become very important to me. Yeah screw dating her. I'll just date other people to distract myself. I'll get over my feelings for Lila, and just be her best friend. It's what's best. Then I can always be there for her.
I couldn't help think but about the feel of her lips on mine. The way she pulled my hair when we kissed. When her hands went under my shirt the first time we kissed. I rub the back of my neck.
I can't kiss her again. It wouldn't be right. Unless I was being serious, and wanted to be something with her. I know this is what has to be done. Or else our friendship is going to be messed up.
We then went and sat down. I notice that Lila is acting a little different. I feel like maybe I upset her. I don't understand why that would upset her, unless she had feelings for me like I did. No, she couldn't of liked me like that.
Her kissing me was just for fun. It didn't mean anything I am sure. Or else she would of said something when I said we couldn't talk about whether or not it meant something.
LILA'S POV:
I can't believe it. He won't tell me. It definitely means nothing to him. He only said that to protect me, and not hurt my feelings. Of course he wouldn't like me. I'm not pretty, and I am really fat.
At least Frank & I will always be good friends. We will never have to deal with a breakup. So I feel slightly better, but I am still sort of upset.
We go and have dinner, we slowly start to get more and more comfortable with each other again.
I feel like Frank and I can't help but flirt and banter back and forth.
"So what do you think of our school?" He asks me.
"It's all right. I have met some cool people this week." I say happily.
"Yeah Seb right?" He gives me a wink. Shit. I want to kiss him so badly. This is ridiculous.
"Yeah he's pretty cool. We have a class together."
"He's asked me about you." Frank tells me.
"Really?" I ask.
"Yeah he wants to ask you out I think." Frank looks at me with seriously.
"I don't know if I would say yes. I've never really dated."
"Well dating is fun. It can be short and brief and not serious at all. Or serious and long." I laugh at his description.
"Have you dated a lot?"
"Since I started high school. Yeah I have." He tells me.
"You're obviously single at the moment." I look at him with suspicious eyes.
He looks appalled. "Of course I am. I wouldn't of done the things I've done to you if I was. How could you think I would do that to you?" He hits me lightly on the arm.
"Oh really?" I ask with raised eyebrows. He rolls his eyes at me.
"Jerk."
"Tease." I say and wink at him while sticking my tongue out at him. I want to kiss him again. The way he looks at me makes it hard on me not to. I wanted him to do the things to me all over again.
"You're the one to the talk. You bit me." He leans in close getting as close to me that the table allowed.
I lean in and join him halfway. Our faces close again. It feels so right, and terrifyingly natural to do this with Frank.
"I was just doing payback because you were teasing me the whole night!" I say in his face.
"What?" He looks confused. "During the move? What did I do?" My eyes widen.
"You kissed my nose, whispered in my ear, intertwined our fingers, putting me on your lap, caressing my waist, you driving me nuts on purpose. So excuse me if I decided my only line of defense would be to bite you in your neck!" I exclaim. I feel myself blushing at my outburst. Frank is blushing right now as well.
"Oh. My bad. You were really comfy?" He tries to make it seem innocent.
"Kissing my nose?"
"I just like your face." He admits. Then we start laughing. In this moment I know we are going to be ok.
"Do you want Tim to apologize tonight? I already talked to him. He feels like such an asshole." Frank tells me while grabbing my hand that was on the table, and light caressing it.
Damn it Frank, we just talked about this! I don't even think he realizes when he's doing it. He's so concerned for me it's adorable.
"Sure I am ready," I say. Might as well make peace with Tim since they are in the same band together. I plan to see all of Frank's shows.
"Good." He smiles and lets go of my hand, and continues to eat.
We then head out so he won't be late for his show.
"Gerard is coming too." Frank whispers in my ear in the car, and he smiles like an idiot. I laugh, and ignore the shiver that ran through me when he whispered in my ear. I can do this. Friends. We are friends. Yeah. I got this.
------
Tim and I had our talk. It wasn't very long. Frank was by my side with his arm around my waist. Which I tried to ignore. He is supporting me.
Tim was very sorry, and he was very drunk when he did that. He apologized seriously.
So we shook hands, and I did feel okay with him. In time I'll truly feel comfortable around him. At least now I know who to avoid when drinking is involved.
The place was more packed then when I last saw them play. Ray joined me first.
"How was dinner?" He looked at me with a smug look on his face.
"What?" How did he know that Frank and I had dinner.
"Oh Frank told me he was going to take you to dinner before the show. I wanted to do something earlier, but he had plans with you." Ray gives me this look where I know what he's thinking.
He thinks Frank and I are a thing. Or will be a thing.
Sadly we aren't a thing. And we won't be a thing.
"Yeah we went to a diner. It was fun." I say shyly.
"You two are too ridiculously adorable. I support it." Ray says with a smile.
"We aren't dating."
"Sure."
"Ray we aren't."
"Not now, but there's always tomorrow." He says. Always tomorrow? What if one day we did. I need to stop thinking about Frank.
"Oh look Gerard and Mikey are here. Saved by the Ways." Ray winks at me. I smile at Ray. I need to hang more with him. He's a real cool dude.
The show begins, and the whole concert Frank keeps locking eyes with me. It's as intense as it was last time, if not worse. Since our intimate moments I can't help, but want more with him. He looks so good.
After the show he comes over to us all sweaty, and just looking sexy as hell. I feel the urge to just kiss him senseless.
Instead I hug him.
"Aw don't hug me now Lila. I'm all sweaty and gross."
"I don't care. You did amazing." I smile and I really mean it. He was so good at singing and playing guitar.
Gerard and Mikey take me home after the show.
"How was dinner?" Gerard asks quietly when the car ride was silent. I blush, and start to stutter.
"Um...uh...it went well."
"Still just friends?" Gerard asks.
"Yes of course." I say.
"Mikey tells me you two were being a little close at the bookstore." Gerard says, and I groan.
"You need to be honest with yourself Lila. You can't let him not know anymore." Mikey says.
"Guys if it's meant to happen, it will. But right now him being in my life is more important to me.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I have so much more I wanted to write, but the chapter was getting so long. I am going to begin writing the next chapter, and it will be out by tonight. Toooo much that I need to write it out. Thanks for reading babes. Y'all too hot to handle.
xoxo Megan