It was 1870. 2 years after Jacob's demise. I had been hidden away in my house for those years. Avoiding the thoughts of him. My hair was grown out and i had huge rings underneath my eyes. I hadn't slept. I barely ate. I sat in my bed days on end. Hopelessly.
"James?" A knocking broke the silence. I was lying on my left side so i couldn't hear the voice. It called again, louder. This time i heard a slight noise and rolled over.
"Piss off!" I shouted. But the voice didn't leave. Instead it carried on speaking.
"Mr Smith, your auntie would like to speak to you. She-"
"I said PISS OFF!" Silence.
"Shes going to die Sir." For the first time in what felt like years i got out of my bed and headed down the stairs. I opened the door and the voice was someone i didn't recognise. As soon as his eyes lay on my face he was dumbfounded. My hair was stuck up like a scarecrow, my eyes were bloodshot and there was a space where my left ear used to be. No wonder he was speechless. I spoke for him however.
"Of what?"
"S-Sorry?"
"What is she dying of?" I puffed.
"Oh, im not sure sir."
"Well where is she?" I took out my cigarette and grabbed my lighter from my pocket. I never used to smoke whilst Frye was around. Now i'm different. I placed the cig in my mouth and held a hand around it whilst I lit it. Then I inhaled a few times and blew out the smoke into his face.
"She's urm-" This made him cough causing him to loose track of his words.
"Where is she?!" I began to raise my voice. I wasn't completely sober. I hadn't been since I lost Jacob. I had a small bottle of whiskey tucked into my pocket. It was becoming an addiction, I would drink whenever the thought of the man entered my head. Which was 24/7 no matter how hard i wanted to get rid of it. The shots replay in my head every night. When i close my eyes i see him, i see the blood and the gun. I hear the pain of my ears ringing. I remember the realisation that half of the blood i saw was my own. I'm struggling a lot to accept my injury.
"She's at her house, down the str-"
"Yes thanks I know where that is mate. You can go now."
"Yes sir" He sped off, I watched him running and felt the urge to shout 'CUNT!' but I didn't. I couldn't care less about the way i looked so i headed towards my Aunties house with my head hung low. I didn't want to go out. The sun blinded my eyes, my ear rattled due to the loud sounds of humanity that i wasn't used to.
"What a mess" I suddenly heard someone say, i looked up and saw a young boy staring at me with his friends. They burst out laughing, i acted irrationally and grabbed him by his collar. I yanked him towards me until he was face to face with mine.
"Listen here you little bastard, say something like that again and i'll smash your head in." Then i let go of him and shoved him to the floor. He scampered off immediately with his mates. I smoked my cigarette and carried on walking. Soon i arrived at my aunts. I hesitatingly knocked on the door.
"Violet?" No reply. I opened the door, her house was so clean and proper. It smelled of flowers. I took a deep breath in and headed up the stairs. I opened the door and saw her gazing out the window.
"What is it?" I sighed. Death was harmless to me now.
"What? Oh! Hello dear i didn't hear you come in!" She wasn't facing me. But as soon as she turned around, she couldn't take her eyes off of my flat ear and the state of me.
"What are you dying of Violet?" I asked again.
"What?" she chuckled. "i'm not dying of anything. In fact i'm not dying at all!"
"What? But i was told-"
"I know you were, come here my child." I strode over to her and leant on her wall. "How is your ear?"
"What's going on auntie?" I impatiently asked her. Ignoring her question.
"I wanted to get you out the house, and it worked."
"You what?" I stood up straight and frowned. This is unbelievable! She lied about dying just to get me out the house?
"I couldn't let you be alone in that house anymore dear. It was upsetting me, you were becoming ill and i didn't want to loose you. I know the death of your friend was very important to you but-"
"Friend?" I scoffed. I turned my gaze away from her. She raised an eyebrow.
"Was he not your friend? I'm sorry I thought he was."
"He was Auntie. He was an amazing friend. I see him everywhere i look, i hear him laughing and calling my name, i can just feel him. I know he's not there, but I can't bring my self to comprehend the fact that he's gone for good."
"I know darling, well he is with you in a way. He's always here." She placed her finger onto my chest. I stared at her confused. "Dear he's in your heart."
"Oh! Oh I see." A silence followed. Until i broke it. "He..." My voice began to crack as tears filled my eyes. "He had such a big heart. He was the kindest man i had ever met."
"Oh, my dear." She pulled me into an embrace and I returned it. I squeezed her tightly quietly sobbing into her shoulder. She patted my back. "He was very proud of you my dear." She reassured. This made me tear up more but happy tears.
"Thank you" i managed to squeak out. "I just don't know what to do without him being here anymore Auntie. I feel so alone and useless. I can't live without him. I am falling apart and I haven't accepted that my ear is gone and.." She pulled me closer.
"I know my dear. Trust me you are not alone nor useless. I'll always be in your heart remember that." Suddenly i stopped crying and pulled away.
"Auntie what do you mea-"
BANG!
Her body fell flat on the floor. Blood splatted onto her wallpaper and then onto me. I stood in shock. "WHAT THE FUCK? VIOLET?" I rushed over to her and lifted her head. She was still alive. "Oh my god. Auntie let's get you to the hospital now. NOW COME ON!"
"No. NO! Dear stop." She demanded.
"auntie there is still time come on. I cant let you die, i cant fail again." She wouldn't budge and insisted on staying there.
"Get out now. Just go and deliver this to the address on the letter." She passed me a piece of paper.
"Auntie"
"NOW! Please. For me my dear." Tears rolled down my eyes.
"I love you aun-" Another deafening bang was shot and her body jolted from the impact of the bullet before laying emotionless on the hard floor. "YOU BASTARDS!" I screamed. Why did they kill her and not me? "Rest in piece." I kissed her forehead. Then I sped down the stairs and out the house. I had her blood on my clothes, i wiped it from my face with my sleeves. I wiped my hands on my trousers and took the letter from my pocket to read.
"24 baker street." Ok that's just down the road. I ran as fast as i could, out of the corner of my eye i saw two bobbies walking down the street towards me. I had to hide, if they saw me running like a mad man with blood on me i will be arrested for sure.
"Oi! You! Come ere!" I dashed into a alleyway and hid. "Where did he go?" One said.
"For god sake Robert. Not again! Get some glasses for christ sake!" The other said.
"Ok ok no need to be rude" Replied Robert slightly hurt.
"You keep loosing them! I hate working with you. You're a twit. A fat pompous prick!" He huffed and puffed like a child.
"Hey! Come on George."
"Wrong way Robert!"
"Oh, sorry."
I peered round the corner and closely watched them run past me. Once i saw it was clear i continued down to baker street. The houses were worn down and broken. I followed the numbers until i got to 24. That house looked different from all the rest. The door was bright red and strangely welcoming. I knocked on the door. The street was deserted so the sound of my hand on the wood echoed throughout the street. I knocked again. Suddenly a tall man opened the door. He had black hair and wore a suit. He stared down at me. I looked homeless compared to him.
"Can i help you?" He asked.
"Urm" I handed the letter over. "This is from my auntie Violet. She was shot a moment ago and told me to give this to that address." I pointed to my aunties writing that read "24 baker street". He opened up the letter and skimmed down the page. Then his face went pale.
"You better come in lad." He beckoned me. I followed him. "Sit there boy." I did as i was asked.
"What does it say?" I asked him.
"Your auntie eh?"
"Yes. What does it say?"
"When was she shot?"
"About 20 minutes ago sir. At her house down that way. What does the letter say?"
"Did you see who shot her?"
"Did i hell. Now i'll ask you again. What does the letter say?"
"She has been a target for a while now. She has been borrowing money from a bad group of people. She was running low on money and she knew you weren't going to help her. So she found a way to get you out of the house by telling her she was dying because it was true. She knew she was going to be killed and so she accepted her fate. Why weren't you there for her lad?"
"My b- friend he died two years ago and i had locked myself in my house since he clocked the gun and shot it at his head. Is that a good enough excuse sir?" I wiped the tear rolling down my cheek.
He stood speechless for a moment until eventually came out with "Now you have lost another human who cared dearly about you all because you were feeling sorry for yourself?"
"With all due respect sir I was grieving."
"What over a friend for two years? What are you a faggot?"
"No no of course not. But he was a very close friend of mine and I knew him all my life." I lied. For a moment i thought he saw through my lies but he hadn't.
"Right well, she's given you a great deal of money. Some of which is that gangs. You need to hide it boy or you are in a lot of shit."
"Crap. Why has she given it to me?"
"She didn't have a choice." He handed me the letter. I read through it. It said the same things the gentleman in front of me had said. I really had let her down.
"Right, what shall i do?"
"Take the money and deliver it to them before hell breaks loose. Do you understand?"
"I don't know where they are!"
"Calm yourself boy, here." He handed me a map of sorts which lead me straight to the gang. "Now, you shall not give it to them directly as you'll be getting yourself killed. So, you need to drop it off somewhere near their place and they will collect it themselves. Do you understand?" I nodded my head.
"Where is this money?" He disappeared into his house and came back with a bag. "Is this it?" I asked in disbelief. "Why do you have it?"
"She came and gave it to me this morning, like i said. She was aware of her murder." I pulled it open to reveal the bag of cash.
"Fuck. That's more than i expected."
"Are you ready?"
"Yes."
"Oh and one more thing."
"Yes?"
"What happened to your ear?"
I sighed. "When my friend shot himself I picked up the same gun and tried to shoot myself, however someone tried to stop me but by doing so it startled me causing me to pull the trigger and i ended up shooting my ear off." His face fell and he was humbled by my sad story.
I nodded my head to the man before he had a chance to reply and said "Good day." Then i left the house with a confident feeling running through me. I chuckled as i walked down the street thinking about his idiotic face when he heard my reply. I really wiped off his ignorant personality. Maybe having this disability is an advantage.
I stared at the map. It was in Southwark! I hadn't been there for years. I've been staying in Lambeth. That's when it struck me, my boss there at the blacksmiths was now my uncle as he was getting married to my Auntie! I haven't seen him since Jacob died. I used to go out every so often last year and he used to come and meet me but when I got really bad I stopped seeing anyone all together which I now regret. But this is a chance to go and see him again, how would i break the news to him. I'll worry about that when i get there.
So I headed towards the train station and walked through the crowds up the stairs and found myself a bench to sit on. As i did an old women joined me.
"You alright?" She asked me.
"Me? Oh yes i'm great. Are you?"
"I lost my Husband recently, however I must not complain. He wouldn't of liked it if I had. I cant sit around either i have to keep going just for him."
"i feel you." I uttered.
"Did you loose a loved one?" She asked quietly.
"Two."
"Oh i'm so sorry"
"No i am. I lost a dear friend of mine two years ago and I have been sitting around feeling sorry for myself and i didn't once think of how he would of reacted. How selfish am I eh? Same with my Auntie who died today. She needed me whilst i was sad in my room. And now she's dead." I sniffled.
"It's ok my love. They love you"
"Thank you, i mean it." I replied. She gently patted me on the back.
"You'll be ok." I wiped my eyes and smiled at her.
"You are such a nice person. Thank you. You remind me of my Auntie." She smiled. Then a train came into the station. "I think that's mine. Thank you for everything."
I left and got on the train. I found a place to sit and stared out the window. The old women was still sat on her bench and she picked up a book to read. I aim to be more like her, she lost her loved one and she's getting on with it and so should I. Jacob wouldn't want me to waste my life in a house. I pulled the map out of my pocket again and stared at it. It would be a while till we got to Southwark so I decided to have a nap. I closed my eyes and drifted off.
"James!"
"W-hello? Who's that?"
"It's me James! I missed you."
"J-Jacob?"
"Come here!" He wrapped his arms around me. "How are you?"
"Not well, i've let you down Jacob."
"You will never let me down. You can't."
"Suppose i have? And my Auntie."
"James, darling, it's ok." He hugged me tighter. Tears rolled down my eyes. "I love you."
"Where was Roth?" I avoided saying I loved him back.
"What?"
"Where was he? Why didn't he save you?" I asked him.
"Oh i see, he couldn't. He didn't know where I was."
"He shouldn't of let you go." Suddenly it all went black. "Jacob? Not again i can't loose you again!" I heard voices all around me, whispers. And then people shouting at me saying my name and other things i couldn't make out.
"James!" Fingers were pointing at me, then i saw Jacob. He was all disfigured and his voice sounded dark and raspy.
"It's your fault i'm dead James. It's all your fault! You shouldn't have left me! You deserve to DIE!" he threw himself at me.
"NO!" I screamed. Suddenly I was back in the train. It was just a nightmare. "Not again." I uttered to myself.
"Sorry?" A voice said startling me.
"what?" I turned to my left and a women was staring at me.
"I said you need to get off." I looked outside and it was dark. My eyes widened.
"How long have I been asleep?"
"Probably around two hours."
"TWO HOURS? Oh my god. Where are we?"
"Westminster."
"WHAT? But I need to get to southwark. NOW!"
"Well i'm sorry but you can't" She tapped her foot and pointed towards the door.
"This is unbelievable!" I stood up and walked off heavily, kicking one of the benches as i left. Once I was back into the open world I took a deep breath and looked around me. This wasn't going to be great. I left the train station and found myself an empty horse and cart and clambered on. Then I galloped all the way to Southwark letting the horse have a break every now and then. I was a massive animal love of course. So was Jacob. He was so kind when talking to the horses, he would never shout at them. A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought of him again. I shook my head and carried on to Southwark. Once i was there, I got off the horse and fed it an apple which i had strangely stored in my blazer pocket. Not sure why it was there but it came in handy. I pattered the horse on the side and left. Now to follow the map to the destination. It was dark so this should be quick and easy but i'd have to be careful. It was quite eerie in the dark walking down the empty streets of Southwark. I wasn't used to this.
The map led me to this tall building which looked a lot like an abandoned church. I wondered to myself how I'd never seen this building before even though I used to come here everyday for work. I was about to walk up to the large double door when i heard some voices. I ducked behind some fencing and listened in.
"Someone's here. I can feel it." One man said.
"Don't be stupid man. You can't feel shit. There is no one here grow up. God you and your stupid "feelings" Another said with a deeper voice.
"I know what I can feel! Don't tell me i'm wrong! If we die here tonight of murder then i'm blaming you! And i'm telling you that i told you so!"
"Well you wouldn't be able to anyway because we would be dead you idiot!" The second man snapped. I let out a small laugh and covered my mouth instantly.
"HERE THAT? I TOLD YOU!" The first screamed. I thought that was it for me. But then..
BANG!
"HOW MANY TIMES? SHUT UP!" I heard the shot of a gun but I was still alive. Who did he shoot? Then i realised something, the first man had gone silent. That's when it clicked. "See you in hell." The second man said. He had shot the first guy! Jesus I didn't want to mess with these lot. They kill willy nilly. I waited till it had fell silent and then i peered round the fencing. Sure enough one man lay dead on the floor and the other was asleep in a chair with alcohol in one hand. I crept over to the entrance of the building and placed down the bag. I was about to run away when I heard a familiar voice. Was that.. my boss? No. It couldn't be.. could it?
"Listen. I don't know where it is ok? I haven't been in contact with her for months now? Please!" It was. I had to do something I couldn't just leave him there and let another person close to me die. But if I go in there and hand them the money they will probably kill us both and if i just shove it in there without being seen they will also still kill him. I mean can I really trust these people when the drunk guy round the corner killed a man because he annoyed him? Certainly not. My heart beat started to pace as my mind swirled with ideas. Eventually I had it. I ran up to the drunk guy slumped in his chair and killed him with the knife in my pocket. I stabbed him in the heart two times. Then I took his clothes and prepared myself. I picked up the bag of money and waited for the right moment. Once i heard the men inside getting agitated and my "Uncle" was shouting in despair I burst through the doors.
"Calm yourselves gentlemen!" The room fell silent. All eyes were on me. "What is all the fuss about? We can't have this! This man here is not worth the trouble. Look at him. Do you really think he is capable of nicking any money?" The men spoke amongst themselves for a moment shaking their heads.
"Hold on, who are you?" One asked me.
"I'm your bosses friend. You won't know of me because we haven't spoken in a while. However i was visiting the area and heard of the commotion and decided to come down."
"What do you know about the money then eh?" A man asked in the group.
"Well sir, you see as luck would have it. I am a very skilled detective. I found the little bastard who took the money and as a lovely surprise i came to give it back." How were they believing my lies so easily?
"Where?" I took out the bag of money and held it up. Before i handed them it i said "Now listen. Before i give you the money i need that man. He's wanted back where i live and i need to deliver him. Deal?" The group looked at each other in agreement before untying my uncle from the ceiling from which he was dangling from upside down and shoved him towards me.
"The money." One said. I handed over the money and thanked them. Then i turned to leave and pulled my uncle along with me. Just as i had reached the doorway i heard a voice behind me.
"Which friend of mine are you again?" Shit. I turned around to face the boss of the group. This was not going to plan. I put my hands in my pockets and felt a loaded gun from the dead man in it. Perfect.
"Oh. Hello old boy!" I said patting his back. "I missed you! How's it been?"
"It's been wonderful here in London. Sorry, where is it you are from again i seem to have forgotten."
"Ireland." IRELAND? WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT? He smirked.
"That's funny, because you don't have an Irish accent. And I haven't got a friend from Ireland. But it doesn't matter, now before you go. May I shake your hand?" Why did he just brush over the fact he didn't have a friend in Ireland and then ask for a handshake? This wasn't right. He knew i was lying.
"Why, may i ask?" My hands were sweaty.
"Well you see, in my company when we make a deal we have to shake on it or the deal is off. It's all bullshit until you shake my hand."
"What so you'll give up all that money over a handshake? I should think not." I'd made a point. But i knew he wouldn't stop there.
"Mark."
"Yes sir?"
"Don't let that old man leave the building until this young fella shakes my hand."
"Yes sir." He clocked his gun and aimed it at my uncle. Oh shit. There was only one thing I wanted to do. There was no way i was shaking his dirty hand.
"If you wish." He lifted up his hand and I began to walk over to him. But before I reached him i pulled out the gun from my pocket and fired it at his head. Then I turned, grabbed my uncle, and sped out the door. We ran down the street and hid in a carriage. We sat and caught our breath.
Then my uncle said to me. "Wow. What a show that was! You really saved my life then. Thank you." I laughed.
"Your welcome. I thought of that pretty quickly and I'm surprised most of them fell for it. Did they kidnap you?"
"Yes they did. They grabbed me and started asking me questions about this money. Hey, how did you have it? Did you nick it to start with?" He stared at me intensely.
"No of course not! It was given to me, my Auntie Violets friend or something i'm not quite sure how he knew her. Anyhow, he gave it to me and told me to give it back to them."
"So Violets friend stole it?" He asked.
"No. Violet did."
"What! Why?"
"Well she borrowed it actually. She was struggling alot with money at the time. I didn't help her as I was busy feeling sorry for myself." I sighed.
"Oh. Why didn't she tell me?" I thought for a moment pondering on how to reply.
"i'm not quite sure to be honest. However, it doesn't matter anymore it's too late." I said staring down to stop him seeing my tears.
"What do you mean.. too late?" He waited for a reply and locked his eyes onto me.
"Listen. She's..." I looked at him and as soon as he saw my tears he broke down.
"No she can't be dead. You are joking?" I simply stared at him and didn't reply. I pulled him into an embrace and helped him calm down. I reassured him that she got her revenge. "How?" He asked me.
"I killed their fat ugly boss. That's revenge. The man had it coming." He chuckled quietly through tears. I always managed to make him smile. For the first time in a while I felt a sense of relief. I'd saved his life and stopped myself from loosing another loved one and completed my task putting us both in safety. Except from the fact that their gang will now be after me and the police once they find the body but that'll be ok. I leaned back in my seat. "Are you ok?" I asked him watching the way he stared out the window solemnly. He didn't respond but that was enough for me to understand how he felt.
"Listen, I have to go." He said after a while breaking the silence. I nodded my head. Before he got out I grabbed his shoulder. He stopped to look at me.
"I'm sorry." He started weeping again so I hugged him tightly. "You'll be ok." He gave me a brave smile and left. I headed back for a horse and cart and then went back to Lambeth and returned to my crappy little house. Once i got to my bedroom i fell straight to sleep. The first time I'd had a proper sleep in years, normally i wouldn't sleep because i'd have the same reoccurring dream over and over again about Jacob shouting at me. But this time i didn't.
The next morning arrived and I got up and changed straight away for the first time in months. I left the house and spotted Evie's train. I hadn't seen her in years and i decided i'd go and see how she was coping. So I ran to the next train station and waited for it to arrive. Once it had i hoped on swiftly. "Evie?" I called. I called again and suddenly a low voice appeared behind me.
"James?" I turned my head to see Mr Green. "Long time no see."
"Henry! I am so sorry I haven't seen you. Do you know where Evie is? I need to speak to her." Mr Green just stared at me before I suddenly pulled him into an embrace. I hugged him tightly. He returned it. I took him by surprise but the look in his eyes told me he wanted to do the same thing. He whispered in my ear.
"Thank you. I needed that." His voice sounded crackly. I began to worry that something had happened to Evie.
"I know you did. Henry, is Evie.. she's not gone is she?" Henry pulled away from me and shook his head.
"oh no of corse not. She's over there." I saw her through the next carriage. She was sat on her armchair looking at her gun. Her eyes fixed onto the shining metal.
"Is she.. ok?" She didn't look herself at all. She was probably still grieving like me. But it just didn't seem like her to do something like that. Mr Green shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair.
"I'm afraid not. She hasn't been for some time now. It's killing me seeing her like this. The worst part is is that she won't talk to me about it. She just bottles it all up. I don't know what to do" I looked at her again with sorrow. I needed to go and talk to her.
"I understand Greenie. Is it ok if I have a word with her?" He nodded his head at me and I made my way over to her.
She had obviously sensed I was there as she never took her eyes off of her gun but said to me "Hello James, feeling any happier?" I sat down on the bed in-front of her thinking about what to say.
"I miss him a lot. It's been two years and I still miss him like it was yesterday. It's painful, I couldn't sleep nor eat or drink. I looked a mess and frankly still do. I didn't leave my house, and then suddenly my Auntie got me out. She slapped me out of it in a way, and now i'm back into reality again. Living. Yet I still feel that sadness but I can control it now" I explained to her.
"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" She replied after a short silence. I chuckled to myself.
"No, because this isn't about Jacob is it?" Evie looked up at me. Her eyes were bloodshot like mine once were. She had tears in her eyes and her hands were slightly shaking. "I know Evie."
"I can't do it anymore James. I'm terrified everyday of my life. It's never been like this. It started a year ago and it got worse." She crackled.
"I know." I knew exactly what was going on with her. She was suffering.
"I don't know what is wrong with me James. It's killing me."
"You are traumatised. The passing of Jacob has made you become obsessed over the thought of death and you are scared you'll end up like him because your job as an assassin is getting to you and causing you to have breakdowns. I understand fully. It's ok i'm here." She hugged me tightly.
"Thank you James. For everything. You've been through a lot, yet you are still trying to help me. I appreciate that."
"That's what i'm here for!" Evie laughed. So did I. Then I remembered something I had to do.
"Are you staying?" She asked as if she had read my mind.
"No. Sorry, i would but i have something important to do." I got up and thanked her again. Then on my way out thanked Greenie. I stepped off the train and made my way to a horse and cart. I climbed on and rode back to Lambeth. The train had taken me to Whitechapel so i made my way back to my town. Once i was there i got off the horse and headed for the graveyard. I had to do this. Once I did this I could feel more at ease. I walked through the gates and walked pass the gravestones until i found the one i was looking for.
"Jacob Frye
1847 - 1868
Loved by many"
I hadn't been to visit his gravestone ever. This was the first time seeing it. "Jacob. You can't hear me right now but I miss you a lot. I kick myself every day for leaving you and letting you do that to yourself. I'm so sorry. One day i'll show you how sorry I am. You will always be remembered as a kind and brave man-" I was cut off by someone appearing behind me and putting a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head and saw Maxwell Roth. My body was filled with rage.
"James! I haven't seen you here before. Are you ok..?" I leapt onto him, punching him in the face. He tried to push me off, eventually he grabbed my throat and squeezed it with both hands. I couldn't get them off of me and I began to go blue. He shoved me off of him and let me go. "Woah! Listen, please. Just wait a second." I went for him again but this time he grabbed me into a hug.
"You bastard!" I shouted at him hitting his back. "YOU LET HIM DIE!"
"Shh shh shh. Calm down. It's ok." He reassured me until I no longer felt angry. I felt exhausted. I gave in. Then the tears began rolling down my cheeks. He felt this and stroked my hair. "Listen, it's not what you think. On that day Jacob told me that he was worried you might kill yourself. He ordered me to go and send a letter. I didn't read it until i was there, but it was too late. I didn't get back in time. I felt so guilty every day so i visited his grave and talked to him. I also hoped you'd be ok. If i'm quite honest i thought you were dead." He chuckled. "Oh wait no not like that. I don't want you dead i just-"
I laughed. "It's ok Roth. I understand." We let go of each-other. He held out his hand.
"Peace?" He asked. I shook it meaningfully.
"Wait, were you the one that tried to stop me killing my self that day?"
"Yes it was! Your ear.. god is it ok? I'm so glad i stopped you." He smiled.
"Well you doing that did cause me to shoot it off." I chuckled.
"Well it was quite scary, you were lethargic and I had to rush you to the nearest hospital. You were loosing blood rapidly. I couldn't get you out the room because you were trying to grab onto Jacob even when you were becoming unconscious. You really did care for him didn't you?" I didn't reply. There was a silence, but it was peaceful. I knew we were both thinking about Jacob so we sat there peacefully and did so but this time we didn't cry.
His eyes glistened in the harsh sun. We both walked over to Jacob's grave and sat on a bench facing it. We listened to the birds and the distant sound of people talking. I thought about Jacob again and smiled. We began to chat about him, about how he'd always say such ridiculous things, how he was never afraid to fight, how he cared for us both dearly and how he was there for us until the end.
It became a routine. Me and Roth would meet everyday at Jacob's grave and chat. We continued to talk about him to anyone we met until our days were over. Jacob would be proud.