Seher had been making stuffed eggplants when she felt the strange spasm take hold of her body.
The last two weeks had been agonizing. She would spend the days taking care of the children and decorating their new home, but at nights, the silence in the empty room screamed. She hadn't heard Yaman's voice in a long time and she was going mad with worry. Only Nedim's occasional phone call would assure her that Yaman was fine, but to be fully convinced she had to see him with her own eyes.
"Seher, are you alright?" Neslihan asked.
She wasn't even aware that she'd dropped the pot she'd been holding. Adalet put her hand around her waist and supported her to a nearby chair.
"I don't know what happened," she mumbled, rubbing at her chest where her heart was racing. "I suddenly felt cold and faint..."
Adalet's eyes looked worried.
"Someone must have walked on your grave..."
Seher blinked. "Excuse me?"
"It's something my grandmother used to say," she elaborated. "If you feel a sudden shiver running through your body, it means that someone is walking on the spot you're supposed to be buried, after you die. Morbid and superstitious, I know. But she also said that it warns of an oncoming disaster..."
"Auntie!" Neslihan said in an exasperated voice. "Don't mind her, Seher. You're just worried about Mr Yaman. I've heard that it's like this between soulmates..."
It was Adalet's turn to reprimand her.
Seher spent the rest of the day, obsessively making everyone's favourite meals. When the night fell, she sat on the porch staring at the garden, while everyone had gone to sleep. She couldn't bear to be in that empty room.
Night owls hooted in the far woods. Seher squinted as she noticed a shadow moving down the garden, coming towards the house. She stood up.
She would recognize him anywhere.
Heart thudding in her chest, Seher threw away the blanket covering her shoulders and started running down the path. Moonlight highlighted the sharp planes in Yaman's face and without a delay, she jumped into his arms, throwing her own arms around his neck.
"Oh, thank God!" She gasped. "Thank God. I missed you so much...."
For a moment they stayed like that, wrapped in each other's arms. Seher felt his breath fluttering the hair at her temples, as he spoke.
"What are you doing up, this late?"
"Waiting for you," she said. "I always wait for you. That empty room was suffocating me..."
Yaman's arms tensed around her.
She pulled back to look at him.
He looked drawn and spent, and there was a feverish look in his eyes that she didn't like. Then she realized that his hands were shaking.
"Yaman," she said, concerned. "Are you alright?"
He closed his eyes, briefly. "Let's go inside."
"Did you eat?" She asked as they moved through the silent corridor, hand- in- hand. "I can make something for you..."
"I'm not hungry," he said immediately. "The kids are asleep?"
Seher nodded.
Yaman sat on their bed and pulled off his rumpled hoodie. He was wearing a black t-shirt underneath it. Seher studied his disheveled hair, the shadows under his eyes and sat down next to him, slowly.
"You're not alright," She took his hand. "Tell me what happened."
Yaman stared at their entwined hands, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. Then he raised her hand to his lips, and kissed it tenderly.
"I will tell you everything," He said, pulling her against him. "But first, let me show you how much I missed you..."
Seher's heart skipped a beat. She'd missed him too. So much. Without further words, she put her arms back around his neck.
After a while Seher came up, desperately gasping for breath.
Yaman had always been gentle with her in bed, for as long as she could remember. But tonight he seemed extra attentive, calloused hands sliding all over her body in achingly slow movements, mapping her, memorizing her, lips taking their time covering every inch of her skin with soft kisses, drawing out her pleasure almost torturously.
His fingers traced her curves, followed every loop and curl of her hair and she heard sounds coming from the back of her throat, she didn't even recognize.
By the time he was done, she was limp and exhausted and she could only lie on her side next to him, staring at his profile, while her body still throbbed with the aftershocks of their lovemaking.
"What was that?" Seher asked, when she could finally catch her breath again.
Yaman turned to her, keeping his fingers entangled in her hair.
"Even that doesn't describe how much I missed you," he said.
Seher smiled, contentedly. Then she sat up, reaching for her discarded clothes.
"Now we talk," she said. "Please, tell me what happened."
Yaman took his time, putting on his clothes. Then suddenly, he bent down and kissed her sweetly.
Seher frowned. Time for physical closeness had passed. She wanted to know what had happened to put that dark look in his eyes.
"I needed this last kiss before you'll always look at me the way you looked, when we saw each other for the very first time," He leaned back, staring out of the window at the slowly approaching dawn.
"I killed Aksak."
Seher gasped, stunned.
Yaman smiled darkly, studying her horrified expression.
"I had to. I planned everything to put him into jail for a long time, but then I realized that it wouldn't be enough," He gritted his teeth. "He said something- something about you and kids, which I will never repeat to another soul. I'll relive those words for the rest of my life. What he said, made me just...snap"
Seher pondered her emotions. There was relief there- mingled with horror and shock, but relief nonetheless. She wouldn't have to be terrified for their children's lives again, wouldn't have to worry about tall men with bloody knives haunting her dreams anymore. Then she felt guilty at being relieved.
Yaman was watching her closely.
"I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore," His voice sounded hollow. "After all, who would want to be with a murderer? If you want, I'll move out. How can you possibly love..."
His voice cracked. Then he made a move as if to get out of the bed. Seher shot out her hand and grabbed his bicep.
"What did you just say?"
His eyes looked tortured.
"Don't tell anything to the children-"
"You think I'll stop loving you, because of what you did to protect us?" Seher interrupted, with a dangerous note in her voice, which made Yaman pause. She felt tears clogging her throat, slowly.
"I fell in love with you when you were still that rigid man in the past. I continued loving you even when you said you killed my sister!"
Yaman looked shocked.
"I thought you would-"
"You thought what?" Seher demanded. "I don't even have the right to judge you. I wanted Aksak dead too, but I was too much of a coward to do anything about it! But you actually had the guts to do what I couldn't do. And if you think what you did, would make me love you any less, you don't know me at all!"
Seher was panting hard as if she'd run a marathon, when she was finished.
Yaman stared at her for a moment, with the strangest expression in his eyes. Then as he pulled her into his arms again, she could feel the relief he felt, in his hurried breathing.
"I was so afraid that you would think less of me...." He said.
"Never"
He leaned back. "I'm here with borrowed time, actually"
Seher frowned. "What?"
"I killed a man. There were witnesses," he said. "Ali and Firat were there..."
Seher's stomach dropped.
"I asked just for tonight, to be with you," he went on. "Then I promised I'd give myself up to the police tomorrow-"
"No!" Seher clutched his hand.
"I have to," he said.
Fear spread through her bones. No.
"You once said, you would never let me go," she said, in a trembling voice. "I won't let you go too. Ever. Maybe there's something we can do-"
"There's nothing we can do," he interrupted.
"Maybe we can run away!" Desperation crept into her voice. "You remember how we planned to run away with Yusuf, when his custody was in danger? We can do that again! Come on, let's start planning now-"
"Seher, no!" Yaman said, firmly. "I'm not letting any of you pay for something I did. And this is our home. We're not going anywhere, leaving here. I will do this."
Her chin trembled. "But that's not fair..."
"Shh...." He put his arms around her again. "It will be alright."
Seher held him tight through the night, as if she could keep him here with her, by sheer will.
When she woke up, Yaman was nowhere to be seen.
Acute fear sliced through her chest. She snatched her dressing gown from a nearby rack and ran out of the room, her movements frantic. Was he already gone?
Please, no.
She skidded to a halt infront of the dining room, panting.
Everyone sat around the dining table. Yaman and Ziya were nursing cups of coffee, and Çiçek was feeding the twins. There were clumps of mashed potatoes in her hair, indicating that Arif had probably spat out his food again. Yusuf stood at the counter with Neslihan, while she poured his orange juice.
"Good morning. I let you sleep, because they told me you haven't been sleeping enough, lately," Yaman said. "Come on, sit down."
Seher sat down, slowly. Her gaze met Yaman's.
How could he look so calm?
She started sipping the cup of coffee, Neslihan had placed infront of her.
"We're going on a picnic today, Seher!" Ziya said, enthusiastically. "Pity you won't be able to come with us. Yaman says you two need to take care of something in the house?"
Yaman shot her a warning look. She nodded, faintly.
"Don't worry. Çiçek and I will take care of the kids. We'll have so much fun!"
Seher kept silent. If she opened her mouth, she would start bawling.
She skipped breakfast, showered and changed her clothes, almost as if she were in a trance. When she returned, Ziya and Çiçek had already left with the children.
Neslihan came into the dining room.
"Firat is here with the commissioner," she said. "Should I invite them in?"
Seher stood frozen to the spot, speechless. Yaman raised his voice near her.
"Of course, Neslihan. Take them into the living room."
She nodded and left. Seher never imagined that there would be a time, when she would be reluctant to invite her own milk brother into her home.
Yaman took her hand.
"Be strong, alright?" He said. "You know, I'll come back."
Seher nodded again, still not trusting herself to speak.
She followed him into the living room. Firat and Ali lounged in two armchairs, talking among themselves in hushed voices. They looked up.
Yaman squeezed her hand one last time, before he let it drop.
"Okay, let's go. I'm ready."
************************************
He wasn't ready. Not by a long shot.
Yaman had spent the whole night holding Seher, listening to her restless breathing, trying to prepare himself for the cold, lonely nights ahead. He'd gone to jail before. For months, even for years. But he'd never felt a pain and fear like this.
What if he had to go away for a long time? Would the children grow up without him? And Seher....
How would she be any different than a widow?
And how would his family face up to the world? They'd have to pay, because he couldn't contain his rage!
The thought ate away at his insides.
He kept his expression neutral as Ali and Firat regarded them. He knew Firat would turn a blind eye if they asked, for her sister's sake. But Ali was the problem. Even after years knowing about their brotherhood, Ali hadn't warmed up to him that much. He'd only agreed to Yaman's plan, because he'd thought it would finally ensnare Aksak.
Old scars ran deep in his case.
"Why don't you two sit down too?" Ali asked. "We have a lot to discuss."
Yaman gritted his teeth. "No. Let's get this over with."
"Sit down, Yaman." Firat said. "Please."
He complied reluctantly, glancing at Seher. He was worried. She looked small and wan and she'd been silent, the whole morning. Yaman couldn't believe that he was letting her go through something like this.
"We all know why we're here," Ali started. "Aksak's right hand man already made a complaint to the police that his boss was missing-"
"Of course," Yaman interrupted. "And I know what's going to happen. What's the penalty for a murder? Ten years? Twenty years?"
"Yeah, around that," Ali said thoughtfully. "The thing is, there hasn't been a murder..."
"Aksak isn't dead," Firat elaborated.
His heart lurched in his chest.
"What do you mean? I was there. I shot him in the head, point blank!"
Seher made a strangled sound.
"We got him to the hospital, in time," Ali said. "Apparently, the bullet got stuck in his skull plate. But the mercury in the bullet was leaked into his cerebrospinal fluid. Which means-"
Yaman frowned. "He's not dead, but he's dying?"
"He's in a coma, actually," Ali said. "With the risk of entering a persistent vegetative state. The doctors say that it could be permanent."
Seher gasped. Yaman felt a moment of relief that he hadn't killed the man, but his relief was short-lived.
"Still, I could be tried for attempted murder, right?" He asked. "How many years will I get for that?"
Ali and Firat exchanged a look.
"About that..." Firat started.
"I'm still not sure of this, though..." Ali said, grumpily.
"Yaman, we thought-"
Firat's words were interrupted by the small shadow that streaked into the living room. He clamped his mouth shut, as Arif jumped into Seher's lap, arms laden with wildflowers mixed with weed. He was sweaty and red-faced, tiny fingers covered in dirt.
"I picked these for you, anne!" He exclaimed, dropping the flowers into Seher's arms. Then he slid down from her lap and ran away, shrieking like a tiny monkey.
Yusuf materialized at the door and grabbed his brother by his shirt.
"Stay still!" He demanded. His gaze went to the two cops.
"Oh hello, Ali amça, Firat abe!"
Then he turned to Yaman.
"We're going to play soccer, uncle. Will you join us?"
Yaman swallowed around the lump in his throat.
"Not today, Little Fire," he said. "You guys go ahead."
Yusuf nodded, looking crestfallen. He disappeared, holding a squirming Arif in his arms.
Yaman glanced at Seher. She was staring down at the flowers Arif has given her, with a shattered expression.
A screaming silence reigned among them for a moment. Yaman saw another unreadable look pass between Ali and Firat.
Ali puffed out a breath, finally breaking the silence.
"Okay fine. I agree to it, Firat. I can't be responsible for hurting these innocent children."
Yaman blinked. What did he mean, by that?
Firat leaned forward.
"See Yaman," he said. "The only people who know the truth about what happened to Aksak are you, me, the commissioner and your man- Nedim."
Then he glanced at Seher. "And Seher, probably?"
She nodded, barely visibly.
"I'm sure Nedim and Seher won't say a word against you," Firat went on. "That leaves me and the commissioner. That guy Raiz- must have some clue, but he can't speak up unless he exposes himself too. Which means if we stay silent-"
Seher gasped. "Yaman won't be jailed!"
Yaman's stomach turned with nerves. He looked at Ali.
"You would do that? After all, it's against the law..."
Ali brushed a hand over his face.
"It depends on the way you look at it," he said. "You only have twelve cases filed against you- thirteen if you take this one. And you've paid for most of it," He paused. "But Aksak is accused of 73 crimes- none of which has been proven. He's obviously a criminal with countless deaths on his hands-"
He looked at Yaman. "Including my brother's death too, apparently."
A tiny seed of hope bloomed in Yaman's chest, but he trampled it down.
"Are you sure about this?"
Ali stood up. Firat followed his suit.
"I'm doing this for Seher and your children. They're innocent," he said. "But you won't be lucky a second time-"
"There won't be a second time," Yaman said with conviction.
Seher dropped the flowers on to the sofa and stood up, throwing her arms around Firat.
"Oh, thank you Firat!" Her eyes shone with unshed tears. Then she clutched at Ali's hand. "Thank you. Thank you."
Yaman held out his hand to Ali, his heart thudding in his chest painfully. After a moment, he shook it, looking bewildered.
"Would you look at that?" He said. "I spent years trying to put you behind bars, but now when I have solid proof, I'm letting you go. Strange."
Firat barked out a laugh.
After they left, Yaman turned to Seher, who looked a bit shell- shocked. Then she stepped into his open arms. He could feel her trembling like an autumn leaf.
"I didn't expect it to go like that," he muttered.
Her fingers dug into the back of his shirt, almost deep enough to leave a mark.
"You're stuck here with me, after all," she said. "I'm never letting you go."
Yaman could think of a no better way to spend his life.
************************************
"I have a surprise for you."
Yaman looked up. It was past nine o'clock and the twins were already put to bed. The rest was sitting around a table placed in the corner of the living room. A half- finished enormous puzzle was permanently set up on the table, and they'd been trying to complete it for a week now, to no avail.
He stood up, ruffling Yusuf's hair. The boy was exchanging puzzle pieces with Çenger and Ziya, fully consumed by finishing the picture. Seher took his hand and made her way outside.
Moon was waxing bright in a pitch black sky, and its glow lit up the whole garden. Ziya had cleaned it up nice, with the help of Çenger, Çiçek and the new gardener he'd hired. Now the whole place was neatly lined with tiny saplings, waiting to be blossomed by flowers, in the spring. A large greenhouse stood silhouetted against the forest.
Seher led him towards the edge of the forest, where a small square of land remained, filled to the borders with knee-high grass. Yaman was surprised that it had escaped his brother's attention. Seher smiled.
"I asked brother Ziya to leave this bit of land, alone," she said as if she'd read his thoughts. "Do you want to see why?"
Yaman nodded, feeling curious.
She waded through the grass, stood in the middle of the land and turned to him.
"You know how you always show me beautiful things in the nature?" She asked.
Then she leaned down and swept her hands through the grass in a neat circle. She grinned up at him.
"Watch"
And Yaman stared, unable to look away even if he would want to. And he never wanted to look away from this extraordinary picture.
Where Seher's hands touched, a glowing, pulsing cloud rose up towards the sky. After a while, he realized that the glowing cloud was a swarm of fireflies, their light tinging the darkness in a yellowish gleam.
But that wasn't what made him stare...
Seher smiled again. "Beautiful, isn't it?"
The glow of the fireflies was reflected in the sparkling depths of her green eyes and the moonlight painted her pale skin with a soft sheen. It almost looked like she was luminescent from within. Standing there in her white dress, knee-deep in the grass with flickers of firefly lights all around her, and the imposing woods rising up behind her, Seher looked like a fae or a wood nymph, summoned straight from the pages of a fairytale.
Yaman's mouth suddenly went dry.
"Beautiful..." He breathed.
The fireflies were settling back into the grass and the strange spell was fading away. Yaman reached out and helped her out of the grass.
"I found this while you were away," she said. "I wanted to show this place to you.."
"Come here," Yaman put his arms around her waist. "Sometimes I'm convinced that you aren't real."
Seher blinked, confused. "Why?"
He chuckled. "Never mind."
Holding her close, he looked up at the sky. A bright star shone next to the pale moon, winking like a lone beacon for another lost soul.
❤️
I have a self-appointed deadline for this story. So that's why I'm updating this with only a two- day gap between the chapters. Bear with me, please 🤗🤗
There's something unexpected in the next chapter 🤫
If you enjoyed the chapter give a vote and drop a comment 😘
-nocturnal4ever