With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride...
Draco took a deep breath as he walked up the path to Olivia's house. He stopped on the doorstep and then knocked, his anxiety growing as he waited. Soon enough, the door opened and Olivia appeared, a strained smile on her face. She had changed out of her work robes, he noted. For some reason, he found he liked this version of Olivia better. Laidback. Stripped of everything that made her part of the pureblood world.
Right, that wasn't what he should be focusing on right now.
She stepped back to let him in and he then quietly followed her through the house to the library. She didn't say anything until she got there, whirling around to face him rather suddenly as though she wanted to speak before she lost her nerve. And perhaps her laboratory was some sort of safe haven that gave her strength.
"Why do you want to help me?" she asked pointedly.
"I... what?" he asked, not completely expecting that question. She thought she would go for his past first, though he supposed going for his motives first made sense.
"Why do you want to help me in my research?" she asked, rewording it.
"Because it's possibly going to be one of the greatest potion discoveries in history," he said immediately. She continued to stare at him. "And... well... I know that it's important to you. I want to help you and your family."
"Are you planning to steal my work?" she then asked bluntly.
And there it was. While he had been expecting her to question his motives, it still stung and he couldn't help but feel offended. And well, he had hoped that his suspicions would be wrong - that Wood hadn't convinced her not to trust him.
"Take it that's what Wood told you I'd do, isn't it?" he asked, quickly masking his look of disappointment with a hardened scowl. "That the only reason I could possibly be working with you would be so that I could steal your work?"
"Well, are you?" she pushed, though he could see her resolve faltering slightly. But still, she wanted an answer, that was clear.
"No, Liv. I'm not here to steal your work. I'm here to help make one of the greatest discoveries of our time," he said tiredly, bringing his hand up to rub his temple. "But really, I shouldn't be surprised. That's what Death Eaters do, isn't it? Lie, cheat, steal? Kill? Torture?"
Olivia remained silent as he began pacing, years of anger and resentment boiling up. Draco had paid for his crimes, so why did the rest of the wizarding world insist on throwing it in his face every chance it got?
"You know, I've spent years... YEARS... trying to show that I'm not like that anymore. I've paid for what I did. Literally and figuratively. I built this damn department from the ground up to try and make a positive contribution to the world. But no one is ever going to let me forget that I allowed my father to coerce me into the worst mistake of my life, are they? Even you and you weren't even bloody here!" he shouted.
Olivia jumped, slightly startled, and then opened her mouth to speak, but didn't say anything.
"Do you have any idea what it was like?" he asked, turning to face her as he stopped pacing. "Yea, sure, when I was younger, I bought into all that shite. When I was kid and didn't know any better because that's what my parents taught me. And then I thought I had to! Because it's what a bloody, fucking Malfoy did! And then... fuck!"
He looked away as he ran his fingers through his hair, his heart racing like crazy. He wanted to keep shouting and to lash out. But he knew that it wasn't completely fair to Olivia. It wasn't her fault. She hadn't even been a part of any of it. But he needed her to understand. To hear it all - the good and the bad.
"The things that they did. That they enjoyed doing. The things they made me do... And I..." he stopped speaking his eyes traveling around the room, looking anywhere but at her. He wasn't sure he could keep talking if he looked at her right now. "I was powerless to stop any of it. Couldn't even walk away. Or I suppose that I could have, but I didn't. I stayed. Because I knew if I left, they would punish my mother for it. I didn't care what they did to me or my father, but I couldn't let them hurt my mother."
He finally looked over at her, seeing her blue eyes wide and glistening with tears. Hell, that was not what he wanted. He hadn't meant to make her cry.
"Liv, you don't... I'm sorry. This isn't about you. Just... you have to understand... with Wood being who he is and me being... We're just destined to never trust each other," he said with a sigh. "Everyone... they think that I'll never change. That I'll always be a Death Eater, believing that I'm better than everyone because of the fact I was born into a pureblood family. Blood status doesn't mean shit. It doesn't give you a brilliant mind or bravery or... anything. Sometimes it gives you privileges others don't have, money, but... I've spent the last several years trying to prove to the world and I guess in a way to myself, that I'm not that person anymore. That I can make a difference. That I'm not defined by my past or my fucking pureblood name.
"And to make amends for what I did back then. But Merlin, some days I wonder why I even bother when so many refuse to believe me," he said haggardly.
"I believe you," she said, her voice soft. He looked back at her. "I do. And I trust you. I know you won't steal my work or... Sure we had a rocky start in the office, but I don't think you're some... monster. And really, I think I owe you the apology."
"You don't-"
"But I do. When Oliver was telling me about your past, I jumped to conclusions when I should have come straight to you and asked you about it. I mean, that's what we're supposed to do as scientists, yea? Get all of the facts before we come to a conclusion? And, part of me even then knew that you weren't like. Not now. You've done nothing so far to make me think that I can't trust you," she said, taking a step towards him.
Draco couldn't help but think he had, though she didn't know. Hadn't he been plotting to try and take her job not all that long ago? To ruin her career. Though he was grateful that they hadn't acted upon it and dropped the plot entirely, he still felt guilty.
But he hadn't really known Liv then. Once he started to learn more about her and who she was, there was no way he could ever intentionally hurt her, he realized.
"I've got trust issues too," she said, wrapping her arms around herself as she looked to the floor. "Nothing like that, but... Suppose I should start from the very beginning... " She took a deep breath.
"My parents met at Ilvermorny their first year. At first my father and his friends... they didn't really make life easy for my mother. Her parents were no-maj and all. And she was from a poor neighborhood. But in private, he was kind to her... started treating her nicer in public and all. And then... they fell in love."
Olivia didn't look at him as she spoke and Draco wasn't sure why she was afraid to look at him. But from the way she hesitated here and there, he surmised that this was a story she didn't often tell. He wanted to walk across the room and take her in his arms, let her know that it was okay to tell him, but he didn't.
"As you probably know, my mother was not what my father's family would consider a good match, but he didn't care... or so she told me," she said. "They were going to run away, but the night they had planned to, he didn't show up. Instead it was his mother and she told my mother a bunch of lies, or - I don't know. Mom kept trying to get in touch with him, but she couldn't. And she saw the engagement announcement and that's when my family moved to Arkansas. She found out about me afterwards... she never told him. But she named me after him. Guess since I was the last piece of him she had."
Olivia finally looked up at him, meeting his eyes. Her own were brimming with tears.
"Life was good with my mom and grandparents. I loved Arkansas. We were still pretty poor, but we got by and had a happy life. And then... the fairy tale ended. Mom died in a... a car accident... Mom never told me the full truth of who my father was, but she said that she loved him and he would have loved me. She loved him until the day she died," Olivia said. "And then one day after... he showed up with a letter from my grandmother. She thought he had a right to know about me. To be in my life. What she didn't expect was that he was going to take me away from them. But he was my father, and he was a De Loughrey. Even among no-majs, money always has power."
Draco swallowed and looked at the ground, sliding his hands into his pockets.
"I know," he said softly.
"What?" Olivia asked. He glanced up at her.
"I... looked into you before," he said. "Heard about your mother's death... going to the De Loughreys. I didn't know your family was muggle until you told me or any of the details, though." He stopped, taking another deep breath, preparing himself for what he was going to say next.
"Suppose it's not a big secret," Olivia said, stopping him. He looked back at her. "Everyone in New York knows. They never let me forget it, actually. My step-mother. Brother and sister. Classmates. They all liked to remind me that I wasn't them. I wasn't a pureblood and I didn't deserve anything that my father gave me. And God... it was like... he was trying to make up for lost time and... I just resented it even though I understood he had good intentions."
Draco frowned, suddenly feeling angry at everyone who ever hurt her. Told her that she wasn't good enough. Her blood status had nothing to do with it. Even now, he could see the shadows of the pain in her eyes.
"So, I threw myself into my work. Class and everything. To try and prove to everyone that it didn't matter who my mother was or my father. That I didn't want to be like them. I wanted to succeed on my own merit - not because of money or a name," she said, a steely resolve entering her voice. "And soon enough... all those voices just... faded away. I didn't need my father's name or his money - though God help him, he tries. I do know that he loves me, but... I could do this on my own - I needed to. I could make my own way and no one else mattered except those I love." She took a few steps towards him. "So... I do get it. I know what it's like to feel like you're fighting against the current to prove that you're not what everyone thinks you are."
Finally, she was in front of him, taking his hands in hers. Draco couldn't speak, afraid of what would come out. She was standing before him, vulnerable. Telling him things she didn't tell many. The wall she normally hid behind was gone, and Draco found he wanted to tear down his own.
Even if part of him still worried she would turn away from him.
"We're really not that different, Draco," she said softly. "And I think we need each other more than either of us thought." He tightened his grip on her hands as he looked into her eyes. He finally nodded.
"I think you're right," he said, his voice barely a whisper.
Olivia sniffed a bit, letting go of his hands as she looked around the room, brushing hers lightly under her eyes.
"Well, then, I think we need to get to work making history, don't you?" she asked, not meeting his eyes. But he knew why. It was why he was fighting to look away from her. Because they both saw something more in each other's eyes than they had meant to show. He finally looked to the board.
"I agree," he said, trying to fall into work mode, though it was proving hard. Merlin, as if he needed more of a reason to fall for her.
But he needed to focus, now more than anything.
Draco bent over, watching as the liquid in the glass container swirled together over the open flame. It was a few hours later and their previous attempts at this test had failed, but Olivia insisted on one more try before they called it a night.
They had made slight adjustments, but even he wasn't sure if it would work.
"Okay... so... I add this and it should turn yellow if we're doing it right," she said, holding a test tube full of another liquid. "Really need to get that damn Night Heather..."
"Did you ever speak to your father?" Draco asked, glancing at her.
"Sent a letter but haven't heard back yet. Checked into a few other leads as well," she said, her brow furrowed in concentration. "But back to this. We get this right and we're one step closer..."
Draco held his breath, watching as she twisted her wrist and the liquid fell into the larger glass. His entire body was tense as he watched the two swirl and mix together, waiting for the color to change. It became cloudy, then a murky white. For a moment, he felt disappointed that they had once again gotten it wrong.
But then suddenly, it changed again, becoming a burnt orange before finally settling into a sunny yellow.
His eyes widened as he turned to Olivia said, a grin quickly filling her face.
"Holy shit... we did it!" she shouted, before jumping into his arms. Draco couldn't help but laugh as he twirled her around the room. He then put her back down and smiled down at her, still holding onto her waist as she kept her arms around his neck. "God... I should have brought you on sooner."
"I am rather brilliant, I know," Draco joked, smirking slightly. Olivia rolled her eyes.
But then she met his gaze again and for a moment, it was as though time had stopped. He could feel his heart starting to thump in his chest and swore he could feel hers doing the same. Olivia didn't move away from him, just continued to stare up at him. Without realizing, Draco leaned down towards her. She licked her lips and much to his surprise, started rising on her toes to meet him.
But just as his eyes drifted closed, they flew open and he turned his head. This wasn't right. She had a boyfriend. She was his boss. They were work partners, nothing more. And they were both acting on a high from making a breakthrough, nothing more. If he allowed this to happen, they would both regret it.
"Sorry... so, I, ehm, just remembered I should get somewhere," he said, letting go of her and walking away.
"Right, sure. Sorry. It's late and we both have work tomorrow," she replied. Draco stopped a moment, wondering if his ears were playing tricks on him. Because he swore he heard disappointment in her voice.
He walked over and picked up his wand and jacket, finally turning to look at her. He offered a smile and wave.
"See you tomorrow," he said.
"Yep, sure thing!" Olivia said, though he could tell her enthusiasm was a bit forced. She then turned to the potion set, her focus completely on the small vial of yellow liquid.
Draco turned and quickly walked through the house, making his way out the front door. On her step, he stopped and took a deep breath, running his hand through his hair again. Fuck. He had almost made a massive mistake. It could have ruined everything. He looked back up at the house a moment and then started down the path.
"Get yourself together," he muttered.
As he passed through the gate, he heard a rustle in the bushes that ran up and down the walk. He stopped, looking up and down the sidewalk on both sides, frowning, but saw nothing. He then sighed and continued walking towards his home. Probably just an animal, he told himself.
And he had bigger things to worry about at the moment.
Draco was groggy when he heard the doorbell. For a moment, he thought it was in his head, but managed to peel his eyes open when it sounded again. Shaking the vestiges of sleep from his mind, he got up, glancing at his clock.
It was the middle of the night. Who the hell was at his door in the middle of the night?
"I'm coming!" he shouted when it sounded again, feeling irritated. It had taken him hours to fall asleep after working with Liv. And then very nearly kissing her.
At this rate, he might as well just stay up the rest of the night because there was no way he was going to get back to sleep. He was fairly sure it was Blaise. He had shown up drunk on Draco's doorstep in the middle of the night too often for it not to be.
"What the hell do you-"
Draco froze after he yanked the door open, his eyes widening as he saw Liv standing on his front porch. They stared at each other a moment before she launched forward, her arms going around him as she kissed him.
His body reacted all on its own, pulling her into the house as he kicked the door shut and then pressed her up against it. He then managed to get control of himself and pull away.
"I... we can't... Liv," he said, in between breaths. She was breathing just as heavily as she peered up at him. "Wood... the office..."
"I don't fucking care, Draco," she said. "And I don't think you do either."
"But-"
"Stop fighting the inevitable," Liv said, cutting him off with a smile. "Let it happen." He gulped as he stared down at her a few moments and then started smiling.
"You're right... fuck it," he said, before bending down and kissing her again, this time a bit less desperate.
He then reached down, pulling her up into his arms before he turned and started up the stairs.
Consequences be damned, he was going to stop fighting it.
Draco landed on the floor with a thump as a curse hissed from his lips. He then looked around his bedroom, finding he was still in his cotton sleep pants and entirely alone. Rubbing his head, he stood, just wondering how it was he had fallen out of his bed.
And how a dream could be so vivid.
His fingers trailed over his lips and he swore they were slightly swollen. But he knew they couldn't be – it had been just a dream. Liv wasn't really here. Hadn't shown up on his doorstep in the middle of the night.
Sighing, he sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing his face before he looked over at the clock on his nightstand. In just a few short hours, he would have to face her and pretend that he hadn't nearly kissed her last night.
That he wasn't falling hopelessly for her.
No, he would walk into the office and they would be superior and subordinate. Then later at her private lab, they would be work partners. Equals. But never anything more. He would watch her continue to date Wood. Perhaps someday they would get married.
An ache entered Draco's heart. This wasn't the first time he had to watch someone he cared for choose another. But this time hurt a lot more than all those others.
Sighing, Draco pushed off the bed, deciding he might as well get ready.
There was no way he was going back to sleep after that.