"It's not because it's a festival, that it'll be any different than our other shows," Vi tells me, already sensing my anxiety.
"Bigger crowd," I murmur distractedly. "It's Glastonbury, Violet. Glastonbury."
"It's an honor to play here. God, Elena, you always stress over nothing to then kill it and wonder why you were stressing in the first place," she groans.
"I saw you performing in London from the crowd's, point of view and it was amazing," Delilah says as she continues to do my makeup.
I was almost tempted to ask for Toby since I really liked his approach and the outcome of everything.
I kept my mouth shut.
"Thank you," I tell her softly. She's adding a few stars around my eyes and adding some glitter to my cheekbones for tonight's look.
"Yeah, Ares seemed really interested," she comments, but there's a strain to her voice.
"He was?" I ask, surprised. She nods and applies some eyeshadow. "Yeah, he seemed to be intrigued, I guess."
I wish it was someone else that had joined Ares, so I could bombard them with questions. Now, I just feel weird with Delilah.
Asking questions seems... weird, even. And I don't know what the fuck is going on between her and Ares.
Relief floods through me when she's done with my makeup, and I make a mental note to ask for Toby instead the next time.
There won't be any weird tension with him. And conversing with him is effortless.
There are countless other artists roaming around the area, but I haven't gotten the pleasure of talking to some.
Caleb, Violet, and Nick are in my trailer when we're all done getting ready.
"God, Caleb, could you tone it down a bit?" I cough as he blows out a puff of smoke. Weed, to be exact.
"You're going at it like an addict. I'm glad you're not doing any other type of drugs."
The three of them freeze and my jaw falls to the ground.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me?"
"It was once," Violet defends herself and lifts her hands in the air in defense. "And it was coke. Once, promise."
Caleb snorts and shakes his head.
"I don't do it often," he tries to assure me, but I'm not having any of it. I focus my murderous glare on Nick.
"Once or twice," he squeaks out. "But only to try it and to be honest, it's not that special."
"How often do you do it? How come I only know of this now?"
"Because I knew you'd react like this," Caleb sighs, "and don't worry. I only do it every so often, it's not like I'm addicted."
I narrow my eyes at him. "You better not be. If I hear more about this or catch you doing it, I'll take this to Malcolm and have you sent to rehab."
"Buzzkill," Caleb mutters, but all I do is flip him off.
"I'll be it without a problem if it's concerning your health."
I fixate Nick with a glare. "Keep your eyes on him, or I'll talk to Malcolm about this. I'm serious."
The issue with Caleb has distracted me enough to calm down my nerves. If he's doing hard drugs, I don't know what I might do.
I can't lose them to addiction. I refuse to.
Because even though our band's name is Icarus, I won't let us fall.
The adrenaline is searing through my veins as I stand in front of the crowd. It's bigger than I expected it to be, but it gives me a rush I'd never thought possible.
I'm standing on stage, walking further on it, and deepening myself further into the crowd seen as our stage is built to resemble a modeling stage.
"Next song is Wasted," I say.
As Caleb and Violet start playing, the crowd puts their hands in the air and start clapping along with the tune.
I almost can't hear my voice once I start singing because the voices of the crowd are almost louder than the speakers.
When nearing the bridge of the song, I point the mic to the crowd and motion that it's their turn.
And as they sing the song with devotion and all their power, the tears spring to my eyes.
The sun is setting behind them and the stars are lighting up the sky, and they're singing along with the songs we worked on. They love us.
Goosebumps erupt all over my skin.
A tear slips from my eye and I laugh as I wipe it away, closing my eyes and treasuring this moment.
"We love you, Ella!" someone screams.
Glancing behind me, I look at the others who look just as in awe as I am.
We made it.
From backstage, I see some movement behind the curtains. My breathing hitches when I recognize Ares.
What the fuck is he doing here?
Focusing my gaze back on the crowd, I finish the song and after another fifteen minutes, it's time for us to leave the stage.
"One of the shows I'll never forget," Violet says with awe in her eyes, "that was... magical."
"It was," I agree and shake my head in disbelief. Nick wraps both his arms around Violet and I's shoulders.
"That was one of the best shows we've done."
"Can't believe they love our stupid asses," Caleb says and takes a sip from his water bottle. "It felt like a dream."
We arrive at the trailers where we got ready earlier.
There are tents outside as well, decorated with lights and couches, and a few bars as well.
We got our own area and Dopamine got the space next to ours with their trailers.
As soon as we get to our spot, Caleb stretches out his hand toward me and I take it.
"Baby, you were the one who convinced me to run into your arms. Oh, but now that you got me, it's easy to want another love," he sings, and I instantly recognize the lyrics of Mad at You.
"Thinking that you'll find a better one, and I'll sit here waiting until you're done," he continues and we both start doing twirls around each other.
"It's gonna be hard as hell," we start and I sing at the top of my lungs, "and baby you know me well. No matter what you do, I can never be mad at you!"
He twirls me around and holds on to my hand, before pulling me back and dipping me to the floor.
"And you only love yourself, but for me there's no one else. And no matter what you do, I can never be mad, mad, mad at you."
He plants his hands on my waist and lifts me up in the air, turning us around. "Oh, you love me," I sing dramatically and laugh. "Want me," he continues.
"You need me," I go on. "And they say it's so easy to leave me."
"You had me right under your skin, but I let you in," he fills in.
He sets me back on the ground and I look up at him with a smile. I know how much he misses his ex.
The one who left him broken.
I met her a handful of times during our first year in college. And he fell hard for her.
"Beautiful performance!" I hear someone yell and when I look over my shoulder, my heart drops when I see Dopamine walking by.
Next to me, Caleb sarcastically bows down.
Kyle starts clapping for us and adjusts his earpiece. They're about to go on stage.
"If you want, we can sing together one of these days," he smirks.
"Fuck off, Kyle," Caleb snaps and takes my hand in his. "You're not worth any of her time."
"You hurt me, Caleb," Kyle says dramatically and shakes his head, before looking at me. "We could write a song together," he shrugs.
I meet Ares' eyes behind Kyle's head and see him clenching his jaw and looking impatient;
"Stop wasting your time, Kyle," he snaps and starts walking away, "we have a show to do."
"Bunch of assholes," Caleb murmurs from beside me when they head to the stage. "I'd never let my little sister get with assholes like them."
I smile at the term because I see Caleb as a second big brother as well. It feels nice to know how deep our bond goes.
"Actually, they're quite nice, you know," I say and turn around. "When I helped Ares with his wound, they were kind to me and even came to talk to me the next day."
"They're still arrogant pricks."
"Kyle is, you mean," I smirk and chuckle when he rolls his eyes. Instead of replying, he starts dragging me away.
"Come on, let's party."
We're in the VIP section of the festival where only a certain number of people have access to. We're in the middle of a sweaty crowd, dancing.
I've never been fond of clubs, nor have I been to high-school parties that often. Vi used to drag me to those parties, and then we'd just sit in a secluded corner because I was too shy or insecure to dance.
While my brother had the time of his life, of course, during those parties.
Caleb has been making out with the same girl for the past few minutes and dancing with her as if his life depended on it.
He turns to look at me and sends me a lazy smile.
"I'm going away with Natalia over here," he shouts and motions at the girl who sends me a friendly and loving smile, which I return.
"Have fun," I shout back and he nods, before frowning. "You good over there? I can stay if you'd like."
But I shake my head and blow him a kiss. "Go!" I say and motion at him to leave.
I feel lost without Caleb here. Usually, we both dance together and make some silly moves to make the other one laugh.
Violet didn't join and stayed in her trailer, Nick is out there calling with the girl he likes, and Caleb... well, he's obviously occupied.
Looking around, I just see drunk people barely able to stand on their feet and decide to get out of there.
Squeezing myself through the bodies, I feel like I can finally breathe and am relieved when I'm out of the crowded tent and making my way towards my trailer.
Though, upon nearing it, I see a piece of paper sticking out of my door and reach out my hand to take it.
There are some words in messy writing scribbled on there, but I'm able to read it anyway.
"It was my obsession that became my downfall
The taste of sinning that took my breath away
and your fall that gave me the satisfaction I needed."
. . .
My break is over starting tomorrow, so I can't update daily anymore.
Harry is killing it at Coachella. Late Night Talking SOUNDS SOOOOOO FUCKING GOOD???
Boyfriend... ugh it gives me life.
I can't wait for his third album. I need it now.
Anyway, lol I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you so much for reading.
I love you.