The winds were blowing past, night was warm and humid with those winds being a little treat for everytime they brushed past his sweaty skin leaving a cool sensation.
"Soobin!"
He groaned out loud, walking as fast as he could even when the ache was shooting up his legs, this was one of the times he was cursing Ji-sul for beating him this bad that walking seems like a bad dream and he didn't even want to think about running because his legs were still recovering.
But of course Yeonjun's wasn't, that boy was running and soon caught up with Soobin wrapping his hand over the other's left wrist holding him still.
No shit Sherlock, Soobin was a dumbass to think that Yeonjun wouldn't follow him throughout the night.
"Leave me alone for fucks sake!" Soobin groaned, wiping away his tears.
"Not now," Yeonjun grunted, wiping off the trickling blood off his nose, smearing it around, "not in the middle of the night."
"Seriously? Fuck you, leave me fucking alone Ji-sul's little bitch!" Soobin scoffed, pulling his hand out of the older male's hold, walking faster, only to regret because his feet started to hurt to a point that his knees felt like giving up.
"I don't care what you say, just let's go home." Yeonjun sighed, reaching out again, this time his hold tight that he knew there would be bruises forming on Soobin's wrist. "Either way it's just your anger speaking and I wouldn't care about anything you say next." He exhaled a loud breath, firm on his words.
"That place we stay in is no home! That is a hell hole now, I share it with a fucking snake!" Soobin screamed— he screamed with all his heart right on Yeonjun's face.
Breathing out heavily this time, Yeonjun felt his knees shake, "We are friends—"
"We can't be friends, family or anything! You are a fucking cunt go leech of Ji-sul's dick! Fucking slut! You are a fucking betrayer! I hate you! Just go and die!" Soobin sobbed— he couldn't hold back his feelings, he just wanted to get away from Yeonjun, spewing anything and everything that came into his mind just to make the older male turn his back at him. "Please… just leave me alone." He begged.
His heart hurt, stomach hurt, head hurt whole body felt like he was being hit by a truck— he just wanted to lay down somewhere and dream for the rest of his life and never get back to reality.
"Soobin, calm down." Yeonjun whispered, fingers tightening around the younger's wrist, hearing those words again shattered his heart, Soobin surely knew how weak he could get, but now there is no way he is giving up, "Let's not just stay here. Let's go to our apartment." He whispered, lips quivering, there were no more tears but he felt that pain in the back of his throat.
"I ain't sharing a damn thing with you!" Soobin growled, "You go to your apartment and I'll go wherever the fuck I want!" He took deep breaths, eyes aching and irritating.
Yeonjun sighed, before he let go of Soobin's wrist, seeing the mark of his fingers which was so tightly clutched on the skin, he looked at Soobin who wasn't even looking at him which made him ever so delicately hold the younger's face in his palms.
"You are coming home with me." He whispered, voice smooth and soft.
Soobin cursed because he could feel his heart squeezing itself in the tone of Yeonjun's voice.
But, not again.
He isn't going to let his bleeding heart hurt again.
"Fuck." Soobin breathed out, eyes holding nothing but pure contempt. "Off." He completed his words, jerking away from Yeonjun's hands and starting to walk away.
Seeing Soobin walk away seemed like one of those nightmares he'd had, or the time he'd overthinking himself to a point where he starts to think about Soobin leaving and then cry himself to sleep or that instant see or at least have a call with Soobin just to make sure that his best friend was still around him.
The thought of losing Soobin scares him.
Witnessing it happening made his stomach churn ugly.
He'd do anything to make Soobin stay.
Anything.
So he betrayed Ji-sul.
"Ji-sul's stepmother molested him when he was eleven and it lasted for six years." Yeonjun breathed, "Six years he was raped, sexually abused and what not."
Soobin's steps stopped, he turned towards Yeonjun seeing the older wiping away his blooded nose again, he stared at the older who looked back at him again.
"He had a rough childhood, very rough, mother died while he was five, all the was put blame on him because he was seated in the car with her, in the process of saving him, she died." Yeonjun continued, taking a deep breath again because he remembers the time Ji-sul cried in his arms speaking about his past, "A childhood without love, loneliness and abuse…"
This made Soobin guilty, developing a soft spot for Ji-sul— it was undoubtedly nothing but pity that he felt for the male who had been through such harsh backlash at a very tender age. He stared at Yeonjun who had a look of guilt himself probably because it's something his ex-boyfriend trusted him with but he poured it out to someone else.
He betrayed Ji-sul by spilling something that's only supposed to be between them, it was Ji-sul's secret and something that concerns his past life— this betrayal done by Yeonjun was way more uglier than what he did to Soobin.
"I know this is not something to use as a reason for what he did or whatever but do you see now his inner child is hurt, how he didn't get his happiness since a young age, this all together formed him what he is today." He sobbed, but there were no tears, just pure pain and guilt. "The asshole he is today was a child afraid of the world years before."
"If you knew so much then why did you even accept all this fake boyfriend crap?" Soobin questioned, fingers bunched up against his sides.
"To make him realize that lost love or lost days never come back, me and him would never again be together again." Yeonjun sighed, taking steps closer to Soobin, hugging him, "I miss the days with him and want those memories to rewind again, but I don't want him back. I don't want him." He cleared out, closing his eyes when he felt Soobin's arms wrapping around his shoulders.
"Why did you tell me all this?" Soobin questioned again, because honestly he had nothing to say back but ask the answers of his questions.
"Because I have been a bad best friend, I know you'd hate me but I can't help but feel the need to protect Ji-sul from any other harm that'd come his way, I have truly loved him Soobin, I loved him with all my heart." Yeonjun whispered, ear pressed against Soobin's chest because his heartbeats were calming him down. "This made me betray you— be a bad friend to the one who has been nothing but an angel to m-me." He whimpered.
Somewhere, Soobin could understand Yeonjun's situation. His hyung had a really pure heart filled with nothing but love for others and making things better for everyone around him.
"Get it all off your chest, now." Soobin whispered, kissing over Yeonjun's hair.
Yeonjun smiled at what Soobin said, he always knew what to say.
"I feel bad for that five year old Ji-sul who received the horror of his life, losing his mother at such an age." He started, taking a deep breath thinking if he was on Ji-sul's place, "At eleven— when I was probably enjoying cartoons, he was getting touched and beaten an-and raped…" His throat tightened, "I wish I could save him back then."
Soobin patted Yeonjun's back, holding his quivering body tight, "When did he tell you all this?" He asked, his own eyes watering somehow.
"He was drunk, completely intoxicated, crying about how he wanted a normal childhood, he wanted to be young again but be stronger so he could save himself— you see he never had anyone, so he, as an eleven year old, wanted to be stronger." Yeonjun closed his eyes, snuggling even more closer to Soobin, letting the younger's warmth penetrate his skin, "and he didn't remember anything the next morning and I didn't talk about it."
"I'm sorry, I really am." Soobin whispered, he regretted the day he beat up Ji-sul, but in his defense he didn't know Ji-sul had been through shit.
But, he still hates Ji-sul's guts and just has a bit of pity for the other but nothing beyond it.
No one— no child, no human— absolutely no one deserves the things he has been through at that age. It made sense of how he was fucked up by his mind, he wasn't dealt as a normal kid of course, all the hate he received just kept rolling like a ball inside him.
"Forget it, I just wanted you to know that love is not the reason I'm protecting him, I just want him to be safe as a uh… well wisher, yeah." Yeonjun chuckled, "Since I'm pouring out everything, you wanna know a secret?" He asked to change the topic, his cheeks already tinting in embarrassment.
"What?"
"I had a crush on you, probably two years ago."
Soobin stilled, he parted away from Yeonjun seeing the other giggle, but he didn't find anything laughable in that.
"Yo-you never told me?"
"It was just a crush, nothing serious. On top of that you were straight and it would weird you out and probably we'd stop being friends and shit." Yeonjun shrugged, hand reaching up to wipe out the blood again, flow was surely less than before, "I chose our friendship over everything I guess."
'Oh my God, same pinch now let's get married!'
Soobin really wanted to say that, because his reasons were exactly the same as Yeonjun's.
Should Soobin confess now?
Like that'd be the best idea, the silent night giving that romantic scene, ignoring the fact that he punched Yeonjun— haha both of them have bruises now, it'll look kinda badass too— it would be a perfect setting, the orange lights seem aesthetic—
"But now I don't feel anything for you, so don't worry." Sincerity was heard in Yeonjun's voice as he gave a sweet smile.
Nah, forget it, he is not confessing.
"Well, uh… great." Soobin pressed a smile cursing himself for lying about his sexuality, he felt like banging his head on the wall.
Silence extended between them as they stayed in each other's embrace for a while, Yeonjun glad that he got this one thing that he had kept away from Soobin and while the other was thinking about what are the stupid scientists are doing and why a time machine isn't prepared yet?
"Let's go home?" Yeonjun sighed, looking up at Soobin resting his chin on the younger's chest.
Soobin swiped his thumb under Yeonjun's nose, feeling Yeonjun's body twitch in his hold.
"I'm sorry for this." He apologized, leaning down to kiss over the nose.
Feeling the warm breath fanning against his face, Yeonjun fluttered his eyelashes close, "I think I deserved it for being a bad friend." He whispered, there was no need to say it out loud.
Him and Soobin were literally standing face to face, foreheads resting together, another wind blew past them and Yeonjun sniffed regretting it a second later because his nose hurt.
"Let's go home." Soobin smiled, backed away and looked around, getting confused because he didn't know this neighborhood, he looked around confused because he wasn't looking where he was walking.
Maybe Yeonjun knows—
"Where the fuck are we Binnie?"
Oh, fuck.
"I don't know." Soobin mumbled, hand resting on Yeonjun's shoulder, looking around, everything was looking dark in the morning and there wasn't any on the road so that they could even ask for help.
Yeonjun felt the need to squeal over the fact that he wasn't cursed and glared at because he called Soobin what he always does.
He loves calling him Binnie.
His Binnie.
'My Binnie— best friend! As a best friend he is mine.'
Why did he feel the need to reassure himself? He doesn't know.
"Okay, give me your phone, we'll look at the maps." Yeonjun suggested this because he didn't bring his phone with him, his cheeks a little pink.
Nervously laughing, Soobin clicked his tongue. It was obvious that Yeonjun was asking this because he didn't have his own phone, "My phone is on charge back home." He said seeing Yeonjun's eyes widen. "You have yours right?" He asked, just to confirm.
Shaking his head, Yeonjun replied, "No I don't."
Oh, fuck again.