It's match day and I couldn't be any more excited, I can't wait to play arsenal. Me and Georgia eventually got ourselves up and changed to get breakfast. It was just general chat about anything really, there was good vibes and everyone was full of confidence.
I had a phone call with my mum and she struggled to speak so I told her about most things that has went on, nothing about Leah this week, I couldn't really bring myself to talk about it. She wished me good luck and that was all I needed to hear.
It was 2 hours before the game and we went on a walk before we got on the bus to meadow park. It was a little cold so everyone had their big jackets on, apart from me. Everyone was mocking me but I didn't mind it, I knew it was all jokes.
When we arrived at meadow park, i signed a few arsenal and city things before seeing a few familiar faces walking inside. The staff members were wishing me good luck and I thanked them. We were all in the changing room and I got the speaker, I put on my changing room playlist and everyone started having a good time. Shortly after we went out to warm up, I was last out because my tracker pod wasn't working, as I was walking out of the tunnel I see viv and Lisa. "Hey gal" Lisa says making me smile, "I missed you guys" I say giving them both a hug, "I've missed my striker buddy" viv says. "I'll catch you after the game, good luck" I say before jogging out, Winking at them. When I turned around I bumped into someone. "Oh my god I'm so sorry" I say before looking up, "your fine" she says. Great it was Leah. "Sorry I have to go warm up" I say before running off. I was a little shaken up but I managed to get eh warm up done and dusted.
When we walked out for kick off it was nearly a full stadium, this was the top of the table clash so it was going to be a great game.
Kick off.
12' big chances missed by Beth mead
17' foul from Williamson on Janine Beckie.
32' goal for city, Bella smith plays it through to Beckie who hits the ball bottom left.
I ran over to Janine and jumped on her back celebrating. We were all cheering and heard a few fans in the crowd. We walked back for the game to kick off again.
45+2' goal for arsenal, miedema bundles it in from a corner.
Half time.
It was disappointing to loose at goal at the end of the half, with a few annoyed faces in the changing room it wasn't so pleasant. Gareth done his team talk and we headed out. We were waiting on arsenal to come out and I got everyone in a huddle. "Look we have them on strings, keep playing it through their back line and we are bound to get opportunities, remember the set pieces as well if we get one. They have immense pressure so use it against them. Come on city!" I say shouting at the end, everyone was pumped up and I got a few glares from arsenal players including Leah.
56' goal for city, Janine beckie has her second. A lovely through ball by Keira Walsh to Bella who squares it to beckie. What a goal for the blues.
75' a goal from nowhere, arsenal are level once more. It comes from a cross that breaks off a city player and nobbs touches it in.
The game was so tight for the last 15, we had done so well to keep pushing. It was the 88th minute and Janine was running down the wing, I see Leah coming across and she takes her out. Everyone went mental. I ran over to Janine who was on the floor in pain. "Hey hey your fine, shhh" I say while kneeling down to her. Fights were going on behind me but I didn't want to leave Janine.
The medical staff came over and I finally got up, Leah was trying to argue with my players so I went in between them and push them away. "Enough" I said pushing my teammates back, "it was only a tackle and she's rolling like she's been killed" leah says trying to defend herself from getting a red. "Are you joking me?" I say facing Leah. "That's one of the worst tackles I've ever seen. How stupid must you be? Taking out a player like that" I say walking towards her, defending my teammate who is been taking off in a stretcher. "Get lost, I hardly touched her and you can't say anything to me, aw Janine this Janine that" Leah says mockingly. "You can't be serious right now leah. I don't even know what your talking about" I say before the ref gave Leah a red, she was forced off the park and my focus went back onto the free kick.
"We can't do Bella because Janine isn't here, unless Lucy fills in for me and I do Janine's role" I whisper to Keira. We agreed and Lucy went for me and I went for Janine. The ref blew the whistle and we done the exact movemt of yesterday. I saw the ball come rolling across and Jordan was in front of me, I faked the shot and pulled it onto my right, she fell for it and I took the opportunity to shoot. It went into the back of the net and we went crazy. I didn't celebrate too much, I held my hands up acknowledging the fact that I am on loan from there. Janine was on her way around but stopped to watch the free kick, I noticed her and ran over. "That was for you Beckie" I say hugging her, "the Bella special" she reply's making me laugh.
We eventually got back into our half and 5 minutes was announced as injury time. We basically went into a 5-5 trying to see the game out. Luckily we did and everyone was exhausted and fell to their knees. I shook everyone's hands and had a little catch up with my former teammates, Jonas was last. "You proved me wrong, I apologise" he said making me smile. "Why? Why did you put me out to city when they were 7 points behind?" I ask him. "I thought we would see it out and I never knew it was possible for them to come back" he said, that's makes more sense. I said goodbye and went to celebrate with my teammates in the changing room.
We blared music and we're having a good time, "that was unreal from you today smith" Chris the assistant manager said, "thanks Chris" I reply. "Somebody's outside for you" he says, I excuse myself and hand Georgia my phone for music.
I walk out and see Leah. "What do you want?" I say a little harsh, she stands in silence. "Why is this so hard? I feel like I've lost you, one week ago you make me the happiest girl in the world and now I don't think I even know you" I say as Leah stays quiet. "Firstly you ignore me all week, then today you put in a challenge like that on my teammate-" she cuts me off, "it's football it happens, and teammate? Yeah right" she says once again confusing me.
"You have never ever put in a challenge like that before, what are you even talking about? I don't understand, you said something like this on the pitch as well" I say, "you really don't think I can't see you two, the story, the instagram posts. How you reacted when she was down and when you scored" I started to realise what she was talking about.
I laugh, "are you seriously jealous? Janine is a friend, she has a fucking boyfriend Leah. Get that in your head. I reacted like that because it's her last game before she goes to Portland thorns, she's my teammate for gods sake we spend nearly everyday together, of course I'm gonna react like that. Is this really what it's going to be like? You getting jealous over one little thing?" I say with my voice raised.
She goes quiet, "Leah that's so pathetic, maybe if you gave me a chance to talk to you during the week you wouldn't of reacted like this" I add before walking away, she pulls my arm "Bella wait-" she says, I cut her off "no Leah. I need a break" I said.
"your just giving up on us like that?" Leah says, i scoff "maybe if you would just talk to me about these things I wouldn't be needing this break, this isn't going to work if you just ignore me and don't talk about anything" I reply.
"Bella I'm sorry, I really am. I thought of the worst thing instead of trusting you" she says, "I need to leave, I can't do this right now" I say practically running back into the changing room. The team didn't really notice me come back in apart from Georgia, I go into the bathroom and place my hands on the sink. She comes up behind me and gives me a hug, "you okay?" She asks, "I can't do this anymore" I say starting to cry, she turns me around and hugs me. I start to explain what happened and start to feel physically sick so I run to the toilet and start vomiting. She holds my hair back and motions for a medic, they bring water over and I start to drink it. It takes me a few minutes to calm down as I'm sitting on the floor alongside Georgia.
"Are you seriously okay?" She asks me very concerned. "I don't know anymore, I feel numb" I say truthfully. "You need to rest, you are always on the go" she says rubbing my hand. I was starting to feel a lot better and managed to get a shower then changed.
We were on the bus back to the hotel and we were all having a team dinner. Everyone was getting up and doing something, Keira looked at me and motioned for me to do something. I refused, that was until everyone was asking. I eventually gave in and asked to borrow a guitar, I took the mic and sat down. I started to sing one of my songs and played with the guitar, I can see quite a lot of shocked faces which I expected. When I finished everyone started to cheer and it made me feel genuinely happy, "what can't you do, holy shit" Janine says making everyone laugh. "I was thinking the exact same" Lucy adds.
Half an hour goes past and it was starting to get late, "One final song for our beautiful Janine Beckie" ellie says standing on her chair, "Bella can you play one, I have nothing" she says making everyone burst out laughing. I get up and bruno mars, Grenade was requested. I started to sing and everyone joined in. This team has such an amazing bond, a few tears rolled down many faces. "Thank you for everything janine" everyone said.
It started to quiet down and most people started to leave and go up to their room, however 7 of us were left, me, Janine, Ellie, Georgia, Lucy, keira and Alex. "Do you guys want to come to mines for a little party?" I ask them getting an immediate yes. We told a few staff members and gave the gc a message telling them to join us if they wanted, we ordered a few taxis and got to my house. "Your house is beautiful" a few of them said. I pulled out alcohol and that was the start to a really fun night.
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