Thank you for judging, MsInsipid
Here are the results:
1. The Peculiar At Magic School by TypicalPen
Book Cover:4%
It's nice, you accentuated PECULIAR which added depth, but it would be better if it's just a combination of one or two fonts and a contrast between colors. But I like the background you got, if you'd like, you could make use of the black spaces to cater a clearer book name.
Title: 3%
It's all cool, you could still understand the message you wanted to convey. But it's kind of redundant in a way that peculiarity and magic correlate to each other. It's kind of common given the words 'Peculiar' and 'Magic.'
Blurb: 2%
First, there are too many spaces. If I may, you should depict it in a way that it would give depth to the story. Make use of adjectives and wordplay and the key to a good blurb is making the reader's question what would happen next.
Also, you just described the character, not the story.
Relevance To The Genre: 15%
It's fantasy, indeed.
Plot Uniqueness and Creativity: 11%
I like the plot, not gonna lie. It's not unique altogether, but it's also not cliché. But for Altair to have a grasp on things quite easily, is all too fast. (I don't know the whole story yet so kindly disregard it if it tells something about herself.) The whole family situation, the secrecy of her identity, especially the djinn, I like it.
The plot, hmm... I stopped at the part where the head of Lucent bade goodbye so I can't say it's uncommon? But I liked that you add depth to her character by giving her a strong but fragile personality. Her heart might be her weakness, given how she fought for the child's life.
Writing Style: 10%
Beware of grammar. Nobody's perfect, yes, but there are apps that could help (Grammarly, Google Docs, MS Word) because there will be times you'll overlook and use words that mean something else.
And add emotions! Do use the show don't tell as always, to give depth to every character and to see how they view their feelings and emotions.
And a reader tip, if you don't want their eyes to automatically head to a dialogue, don't use bold. Even if we don't want to, it's too catchy to unnotice.
Flow: 9%
Not too fast, not too slow. Though I really would want to really take her power slowly, especially since she just got them from being dormant for a long time, with no training whatsoever. (Again, if it's part of the plot, disregard) It seems to have given magic an easier access given how she did the sacred art when even an alumni couldn't. You don't need a perfect character, just an understandable one.
Your chapter lengths are acceptable. They all are needed for the plot. The timeline is easily understandable too.
Also, be mindful of changing POVs, every person has a different voice and structures of word construction. Unless necessary (which they are) try to focus on the protagonist more.
Enjoyment: 14%
I enjoyed it! As a reader, I was really curious about her power, given the differences in her appearance and thinking. You wrote it well enough to understand the scenes and I enjoyed a breath of fresh air from the 'school
cliché of realizing she has powers because of danger' and good job on the djinn! It was surely a great help for Altair though Alice doesn't know about its appearance in her life hahahaha.
Try and create catchy book covers for readers to pick your book up! I would recommend it to my friends though no one likes fantasy as much as I do.
Overall: 12%
Since I haven't fully read your story, and I'm not even at a major inconvenience, I still think I haven't gained adequate knowledge about your story? It would need more than ten chapters to learn about everything, so I would continue it once it's finished.
But from what I read, it's all good, though, not heavily put on.
TOTAL: 80%
Final Remarks: Keep writing! I'll wait for it to finish and I'll read it as a genuine reader :) You have great potential within you <3
2. Nag-iisang Babae Sa Section Lily by 4aishiteimasu
Book Cover: 3%
Are you going for a dark, mysterious vibe? I got that vibe from some scenes from your book. Bright colors won't give off that vibe.
The 'Section Lily' part blends on the school uniform. Use the space wisely, and play with different fonts until both of them will look like a pair for each other.
Title: 3%
Babe, a lot of stories have "The only girl in section..." with renditions to it. You can use adjectives for Gabriela Amora's past which I think involves a boy calling her Amora? Am I right? Or maybe not. But anyway, it's too common to catch someone's eye.
Blurb: 3%
It summarizes the whole chapter 10 of the story, though the end paragraph made me think about what happened to her.
Make use of adjectives and metaphors to tell happenings in her life, and also check the grammar. Use one tense on a thought or paragraph to make it seem uniformed and articulated.
Relevance To The Genre: 9%
Unless this would take a fantasy route on the next chapters, it's more fitting for action and romance.
Plot Uniqueness and Creativity: 9%
Not too unique, not cliché either. The backstory gave depth to her character which I certainly liked, though there are instances where you used filler scenes that do not relate to the story at all.
I suggest writing an outline to articulate your thoughts and the flow of the story, so that every scene, may it be a filler or not, is essential to the story.
To give depth is what we want, not to lengthen the story.
Writing Style:9%
I suggest using an app to help (Grammarly, Google Docs, Ms Word) to correct some grammar mistakes and misuse of words.
Search for dialogue tags and action tags as well. Always remember that the punctuations of a sentence are situated inside the quotation marks.
And please complete words, remove 'HAHAHAHA' and place quotation marks if it's people talking.
Please don't be disheartened by this, but in order to fully execute a story, you must first learn to share your thoughts with us too. Not everyone could understand and enjoy a work-in-progress kind of book. Again, work in progress, we all have a chance to build up our knowledge on things. You're just starting.
Flow: 6%
As I said earlier, there are many filler scenes. It took the spotlight instead of some scenes that were cynically essential for the story.
Like when you're watching a play or an opera, always cast the spotlight on the main character and what she is meant to do. You don't need to repeat everything since the audience wants something as bait for their time.
It's better to use single spacing to eliminate 'scrolling boredom' and stay on one timeline at a moment, nagugulat na lang ako ibang scene at iba na kinakausap ni Gabriela.
I like the story, I understand it well, but it does not resonate with me. I'm sorry for saying it like that.
Enjoyment: 10%
It's a work in progress. No first drafts could equal perfection, mine and yours is not an exception to this.
But if I do say so myself, I would want to know what happens next. Why did she change? Who is the man who hurted her? Why did she leave her family's custody? There's a lot of questions begging to be answered.
Overall: 10%
All I'll say is that you have potential. Don't waste that potential. You'll get hurt a lot of times by people's words. They're hurting because it's carving a scar that would bleed until you know how to patch them up yourself, until you realize that to aid your wound is to aid your mind.
Little by little, if you continue, you'll grow and realize how far you've gotten. The toughest and strongest fighters conquered the toughest of battles, remember that.
TOTAL: 62%
Final Remarks: Face on your ladder. Grip by grip, you'll climb up one day. Not for fame, but for growth.
I'm rooting for you! Your art is a work in progress, it does not require perfection, but it does require to touch the hearts of the people who see it. Okay?
Please don't get mad at me for this, I really am offering my sincerity to help you grow. Hwaiting!