Fanfic(dot)net Review Responses
Hey everyone!
No Nepstation broadcast today, but before we jump onto Chapter 5, I'd like to quickly respond to a few reviews, like I usually do. 😊
Here's one from ptl. He's made a lot of comments, so I'd like to break them down:
· "I am also of the opinion that uniforms have battlesuit technology in them as well as other seemingly normal-looking (or stylish) clothes that we've seen Valkyries wear in combat apart from mecha latex bodysuits and armour."
That is definitely the case with some of them. For instance, Divine Prayer Kiana's battlesuit is noted to have been made using Honkai-resistant materials and ergo has superior defences to normal uniforms, but this doesn't apply to what all the Valkyries (& Nep) are wearing in the last chapter.
Valkyrie Ranger Kiana's battlesuit details, which you can find on her dorm chibi, state that the clothes she's wearing is more for casual use and is outright stated to have "poor defensive capabilities", and you can see all the Valkyries use this suit (with slight variations) for the Valkyrie Trials in one of the mangas – which is what they're all wearing in Chapter 4.
· "By the way, how high is a CPU's Honkai Adaptability?"
Seeing as there's very little information on how Honkai Adaptability is determined outside of genetics, I decided to take matters into my own hands and make Honkai Energy comparable with Neptunia's Negative Energy (from Neptunia VII).
Seeing how the Honkai is a force that is determined to destroy humanity, and evolves with humanity's technology, I'd say it's rather fitting if we said that, for the sake of this story, Honkai Energy contains negative traces in it, since it's mostly been used for that purpose.
So, just like Negative Energy in Neptunia, Neptune's Honkai Adaptability will, unlike any character in Honkai, actually vary depending on the amount of Share Energy she has.
Currently, she is at a very low level of shares, so her Honkai Adaptability is pretty low. It can (and will) improve if she gathers more shares, though! 😉
· "Which year is this happening? It must've between 2014 and 2016 in Honkaiverse, when the protagonist trio studied in St. Freya."
2016, a little while before Chapter 2 of the game begins. The Valkyrie Trials that happened in 2014 (as you can see in one of the mangas) is the main inspiration for all the Valkyries wearing the Valkyrie Ranger uniforms again, as well as mainly wearing them for the upcoming exam (which is the exact same exam that everyone was preparing for in the game's Chapter 2).
· "One final question, will there be an omake or story where the Gamindustri CPUs meet Teyvat's Archons? They have a lot in common and Genshin Impact is also part of the Imaginary Tree/Sea of Quanta."
I haven't played too much of Genshin in order to properly make one of those, so no.
However, alongside some Nepstation broadcasts that'll be scattered around the story, I do plan to write little omakes involving Neptune & other Honkai characters she's met in a few silly situations, most likely between long stretches of chapters.
A certain male character may also make an appearance... :)
Next up, SilentHeroX's review!
"This fanfic is very interesting to me because Neptune might see the stuff that this cast would soon experience. It going to be really interesting to me to Neptune responding to these stuff."
Thanks for the praise! Having Neptune experience these situations and being able to meet with all these characters has been the main motivation for me writing this story! 😊
And now here comes the review I've been mentioning a bit earlier, typed up by snipervtk4. It's quite long, so I'll quickly break it down:
· "But for simplicity sake, Nep can use up to Tier 3 weapon class (something similar to Type 17/19 Pulse Katana. Tier 4 and above either required specialization (as you all know, Tier 4 are "Gacha" weapons and can up PRI-ARMS depends on if it's a signature or not)."
· "This is Hack and slash game, and enemies WON'T wait for their turn to attack, and some of said attack can be very OP in Turn base game, so you need to balance it out."
· "How can Nep generate EP needed to use her skill? As you know, most HI3 skills are passive, and no Turn or AP needed. This will handicap Nep to oblivions."
Okay, so the main problem that I have with this review is that it's assuming that the whole story will play out down to the EXACT gameplay of both Honkai and Neptunia. And whilst that will be the case for all of the characters' attack animations, it needs to be stressed out that the gameplay does not equal the actual story, or the true capabilities of the characters.
In Honkai's main story, there is no mention of "EP", "Gacha Weapons" or "PRI-ARMS". Similarly, Neptunia's main stories do not mention that the characters are restricted by "Turns", "SP" or "Party Members" outside of meta jokes, so as such – every single character (from both universes) in this story will primarily follow what they've accomplished and is established in canon (cutscenes/story).
They WILL NOT follow the restrictions set on them by the gameplay, as it was done purely for just that to begin with – the gameplay.
· "Honkai Corruption is really a thing. Let just hope that the Will of Honkai won't caught senses of interloper and start ramp up their crusade to end Civilization."
Well, I certainly don't plan to just blindly follow the main Honkai canon... Soooooooooo 😉
· "Finally, thx 4 the chap. 4ward seeing new chapter. I knew enough Nep to know how much she loves to break 4th Wall just for curiosity XD"
Hehe, no probs. I hope you enjoy this one as well!
Alright, that's all the reviews responded to. Onward!
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Chapter 5 – "Showtime"
After Neptune pulled herself together, she walked into the large, wide-open hall with the same cheerful smile she always had, with Mei following her by her side.
A lot of the students that were expected to be in this hall eyed the two students, with a lot of them being pleasantly surprised that Neptune was supposedly the new student that would be joining them today – and was evident by the amount of gasping, cheering and with quite a few of the girls huddling in their groups in Neptune's direction to properly meet her.
In the distance, far outside the crowd, Kiana stood next to Bronya and Fu Hua – with Kiana folding her arms with a bit of an annoyed expression as she witnessed Neptune being bombarded with quite a few students that took interest in her – seeing Neptune reply back to them with the same cheerful smile made her unconsciously tap her foot repeatedly.
"Tch, just how is she so popular already?!" Kiana muttered, ending her statement off with a little "hmph".
"Maybe if Kiana Idiotka didn't gloat so much, then the Idiotka might be seeing similar treatment." Bronya replied back as she looked and took in Kiana's annoyed expression, sort of enjoying the banter in a way as Kiana looked back at her with killing intent. Bronya just went back to looking towards Neptune's direction like nothing ever happened, though.
"They always do this with new and excitable looking students, so it's not really a surprise." Fu Hua stated as she, much like Bronya, just calmly observed Neptune interacting with the other girls, briefly glancing at Kiana every now and then for some reason. Her words caused Kiana to cool down a little, as indicated with a sigh – knowing that what she was saying wasn't wrong.
Neptune was quite surprised at the amount of attention she was getting from the class. Whilst she undoubtedly loved the spotlight, she wasn't used to having a lot of people come and try to talk to her all at once. She had to give speeches in her transformed state sometimes back at Planeptune, but this situation felt a lot different to that. At least you don't have everyone in your face when you do it!
The questions, thankfully, were pretty easy to answer. Stuff like "is that your natural hair colour?", and "just how are you this cute?!" were easy to wave off and joke about. But then came...
"Hey, where are you from?"
Neptune then immediately froze as she looked at the student that asked her with a wide-eyed expression and a fake smile that read – "Oh man, I'm screwed!"
As luck would have it, however, a redhead knocked the door to the wide hall open with a kick, causing every student that wasn't Mei, Bronya or Fu Hua to immediately go back to the centre of the hall with blinding speed, causing a wide wall made out of students to form as the aforementioned trio just slowly walked and joined the rest of the students. Naturally, Neptune, Kiana, Mei, Bronya and Fu Hua were all standing next to each other as they eyed the figure that walked towards the far wall in front of them, switching on a massive holographic image that displayed in mid-air.
"Heh, glad to see you brats are already ready to start. Good."
If Neptune internally panicked before, it was nothing compared to what she was hearing – causing her body to tense up in such a way that was extremely noticeable by her newfound friends.
"What's up, Nep?" Kiana whispered as she leaned towards Neptune's side, taking the time that their red-head teacher was using to set up the lesson to her advantage.
"This redhead sounds exactly like me when I transform! I was only somewhat joking with Bronya before, but she definitely has my voice actress! Wow!" Neptune exclaimed as she tried her best to keep her voice somewhat quiet, as what she was saying was picked up by the rest of her friends, whom all looked confused as a response.
"She sounds like your transformed self...?" Mei questioned in a way where Neptune and the others could hear her, with the entire group imagining a very mature Neptune that is a complete 180 from what she's currently like.
... And in a way, they're not wrong.
"Yeah! It's crazy, but I guess it really is a small world out there when it comes to the voice acting business, huh!" Neptune muttered, before the redhead had finally finished setting up the presentation that was now boldly displayed on the massive hologram projection.
"Well – as you all can quite clearly see, we have someone who will be joining us for this class." The teacher announced, moving her open palm in the direction of Neptune.
"As for your name... 'Neptune', was it?"
"Yup! Present and accounted for, Miss!"
The redhead teacher scoffed as a smug expression crept up her face.
"I like your enthusiasm kid. Also, you do know that your name is pretty hard to say, right?"
The whole class then started laughing, with the exception of Neptune's friends, before the class very quickly became quiet as soon as they started realising that they were having trouble mouthing her name back to themselves. Neptune just gave a weak smile alongside a concerned expression in response to this.
"Some gags just never die..." Neptune muttered to herself with a nervous smile.
"No kidding." Kiana whispered back, whom rolled her eyes.
As soon as the teacher snapped her fingers, all of the students' attention were immediately brought back to the hall.
"Anyway, we're not here to learn how to say her name. Do you, Neptune, remember why you're here?"
"Yep, to fight and show off my combat prowess alongside the other NPCs here!" Neptune exclaimed with pride, causing yet another smirk to appear on the teacher's face.
"... Strange joke aside, glad someone in this class at least pays attention." The teacher replied, looking at Kiana as the class caught on and started chuckling, causing the victim to start sulking.
"... I'm so gonna find Auntie Himeko's booze and use 'em as target practice ammunition." Kiana muttered to herself in a fit of frustration.
"Regardless, you're correct. We're here today to test out the capabilities of this class against some simulations of various known Honkai beasts." The now identified Himeko stated as she pointed at the projected hologram, showing various images of average Honkai beasts and zombies.
"We will also be joined by your Principal, Theresa Apocalypse." Himeko said, as the aforementioned person came into the class in the same nun outfit she always wore, with her silver hair glistening slightly from the sunlight reaching into the room. This caused some students to, once again, slightly become excited as her cute appearance was a pleasure for the eyes... If their attitude towards Neptune earlier wasn't any indication.
Neptune and friends had been expecting her however, so they just simply smiled towards her when she looked in their direction. A smile she immediately returned back at them.
When Theresa made her way towards Himeko's side, the latter continued with her explanation of today's class activity as the former folded her arms.
"You will be put into randomly assigned teams and will come up from the benches behind you to demonstrate how well you can coordinate and successfully defeat the enemies in a five-round gauntlet – and will increase in difficulty the further you go through the rounds. Your performance will also be recorded and displayed to you and your team up on this hologram on top of me."
The whole class subconsciously nodded.
"Get hit too many times, fail to support your teammate, put them at risk, or give up – and your team will fail and will ergo stay after class to work on this. You will also be graded individually, so don't attempt to try putting all the workload on top of your allies, got it?"
The shocked expressions and the very quick nodding of all the students confirmed to Himeko that they understood the importance of this lesson.
"This isn't a proper test, or even the mock test that is coming up, but I do expect to see you all work at your best today. And if you don't, I will know. Just think of this as practice for the mock, you're in those uniforms today for a reason."
The class nodded again, as Neptune did a quick, silent yawn before continuing to focus her attention on Himeko. Was this what being a normal student in her nation was like back home? It felt a little... out of place.
Perhaps part of said awkwardness was listening to her HDD self's voice lecturing them.
"Now enough with the unpleasant atmosphere. Sit at the benches behind you, and when we're all ready – we'll have the computer assign the teams."
Time had started passing at a faster rate now, fully captivating our main protagonist's interest. Neptune was able to see the various monsters that plagued this dimension, even if they were fakes created by holograms, and whilst they were mainly fodder – it also allowed her to get a taste of what she was about to go up against. Neptune couldn't help but smile.
"This is gonna be easier than a bunch of dogoos."
Soon enough, a loud beep blared across the room as the projected screen flashed a bunch of mugshot portraits, alongside some names in a digitised font.
KIANA KASLANA.
MEI RAIDEN.
BRONYA ZAYCHIK.
NEPTUNE.
"Showtime, girls!" Kiana announced as she leaped a great distance towards the centre of the hall from the benches at the back, prompting Neptune to do the same as all of the students' eyes were glued on her. Mei and Bronya simply got up and walked down at a calm pace towards the middle.
As soon as all four girls stood side by side, new holograms of Honkai Beasts started spawning, alongside some female-looking zombies. There was enough for every single member of the group to combat at the same time.
The screen then showed a 10 second timer, prompting everyone to focus on it as a beep blared every second, followed by a slightly longer one on zero, announcing the start of the test.
"Time to Nep em' all up!" Neptune announced as she pounced forward into the crowd of Honkai Beasts closest to her. She then summoned a wooden katana on instinct – popping into the world with a bunch of blue data-like particles, prompting a surprised look from everybody in the hall who didn't know her prior – though this didn't stop those that did from being caught slightly off-guard.
Two Honkai Beasts swung aimlessly at her, to which Neptune easily dodged with a cocky smile. After a few seconds of showing off her absurd level of dodging, she put a lot of her strength into a horizontal slice across the first beast, causing it to disappear into different-looking data-like particles. Somehow, these "holograms" had somewhat solidified forms, causing Neptune to sweat drop mentally knowing that this would be about the time that Nepgear would want to disassemble whatever was creating these, and take an in-depth look at it.
As the second started charging towards her, Neptune got into a stance to counter the attack, but the beast was interrupted by a quick trio of rockets running themselves into the body of the beast, causing it to explode into particles once more as she looked towards the source.
"MVP Bron is at it again!" Neptune announces with a pumped arm raised in the air, causing Bronya to softly smile at her. This disappeared quickly from the two of them though, as they notice Kiana being bombarded by several Honkai beasts that she was just barely managing to defend against. She was able to knock out a few, with remarkable physical skill, but this caused a lot of the beasts to start targeting her with a vengeance.
"Dammit, why does their programming have to be so realistic?!" Kiana cursed in her mind as she blocked another strong strike from one of the Beasts, causing her to stagger backwards.
Before it could launch another, an insanely quick slice appeared across the monster as Mei phased right next to her, sheathing her katana. When she finished doing so, the monster was split in half and dissipated.
"We really do make the best team, Mei!" Kiana complimented whilst giving her a wink.
Mei smiled back before returning focus to the other Honkai Beasts – "It's not over yet."
ROUND 2----2̵̨̱̫̘͍͚̹̣̥̫̬͂̇̒͗̿͊-̴̧̢̧͚̮̖͙̘̤́̍͑̾-̸̧̰̯̱̻͈̰̩͎͎̗̗̭͍̽̑͛̒@̸̡̞͈͔̳̞̥̩̳̠̳̒́͋̍̄!̸̧̝̠͙̹̜̬̳̹̱̙͓̬̥͔̃͌͋̓̅?̶̡̙̘̜͕̬̝̻͖̰̦̝͙̩͗͂-̷̧̢̢̨̬͇͔͚̣̩̳̹̯̔͗̃-̴̧͍̙̲͚̼̟̮̘͇͈̲̆̏̉̌͋͛͆̐͒͝-̴̡̛͉̤̖̲͎̬̗̮͙̼̂̈̿̐͂́͂̿̅̑̊̀̚̕ͅ[̵̛̼̪͍̪̠̖͖͙̤̏̔̔̀̒͗̕͜͝ͅ[̵͚̱̯̮̬̩̞̥͉̼̯̦͑̐̈͐͌̐̍̕̚͜͠ͅQ̸̺̝̖̙̗̫̳̌̀̇̓̋͘]̶̢̟̯̯̦̥̥̲̬̀̓̐̕Q̵̨̛̰̺̟̭̳̝͈̩̺̺͓͇̤̹̊̔͌̐̀
Suddenly, the screen started glitching, causing Theresa and Himeko to become wide-eyed in shock.
"Wh-What the hell is this?!" Himeko shouted to herself as a loud, glitchy sound emanated the room, causing some of the students to cover their ears.
When it finally subsided after a few seconds, the display updated itself once more.
ROUND 5
Theresa and Himeko looked towards the screen with an "Oh s---!" expression on their faces, as the students simply looked towards the same screen with amusement and amazement. Kiana simply rubbed her head slightly in pain, for some reason currently unknown to her.
Only one enemy spawned this time, but it was easily one of the largest that everyone in the room had seen in here today. Ganesha, an emperor-class Honkai beast.
"Wow, uh... Talking about going from dogoo-like fodder to the first boss..." Neptune commented with slight concern in her voice, not really understanding what was going on.
"An... An Emperor-class Honkai Beast?! WHAT THE HELL?!" Kiana shouted, with a similar facial expression being used by Mei and Bronya.
As the monster roared, it rushed in a pseudo "Sonic The Hedgehog"-style Spin Dash towards the four girls, and with its large body, rolled right towards them.
Whilst Neptune managed to just about jump to the side in time, Kiana, Mei and Bronya were knocked aside as they crashed into the wall behind them.
Fu Hua was slightly wide-eyed back at the benches with the other students, as she started looking around for anybody that could've caused this to happen. Unfortunately, she couldn't find anything, so she remained seated as she slightly leaned forward with laser-focus on the battle – fists clenched.
"You're very eager for a tutorial boss, I mean – isn't the way that this usually goes is from fodder to mid-tiers and THEN a boss like you?" Neptune commented to herself out loud as the beast roared at her again.
"Well, nothing you can do about a good ol' difficulty spike. Bring it on, whitey!"
The monster then obliged by raising its arm, clearly intent on smashing down on Neptune – whom managed to use her katana to withstand it's strike, pushing back against it as everyone stared at her in utter disbelief. This even caused Theresa and Himeko, who were trying to shut down the simulation, to even pause on what they were doing to watch Neptune's performance without noticing that they've completely stopped what they're doing.
As the trio got themselves out of the wall, they weakly started trying to make their way towards Neptune – whom now took the turn to look utterly dumbfounded.
"THAT THING IS MADE OUT OF WOOD! HOW IS SHE-?!" Kiana shouted, before being cut-off.
Neptune scoffed as she continued pushing back against the weight of the monster's arm, with said monster becoming increasingly frustrated with how strong she is.
"Please, you're underestimating the protagonist of protagonists! You might be a main character, but I'm a step ahead!" Neptune exclaimed as she managed to push it's arm off her, quickly going for a slice across the legs, causing the monster to fall down as it tried to recover.
As the monster did so, Neptune threw her blade up in the air with a fierce spin – causing everybody to pay attention to her as the blade landed perfectly in Neptune's other hand.
"Now here's a little feast for your eyeballs, everyone! So pay attention to this one – it's a classic!"
The monster then slowly managed to get up, only to experience "pain" like never before as Neptune repeatedly charged and striked at various angles across its body.
"Cross Combination!"
Neptune then thrusted underneath the beast and managed to lift it up into the air with a quick uppercut-style slice, already causing some of the students to black out in disbelief.
Immediately after jumping to its exact height in the air, she put all of her strength into the final slice from above – sending it flying back down to the ground as it dissipated.
The whole room fell silent, the screen updated without a single sound – showing the group's portraits as Neptune landed towards the ground in a superhero-like fashion, causing her wooden katana to disappear into significantly different-looking data particles as she posed with pride in front of the stunned crowd.
"Easy-peasy! Told you that was a tutorial boss!" Neptune announced, accompanied by her doing the peace-sign with one of her hands.
GAUNTLET COMPLETE.
Everyone continued staring at her for several seconds, as slowly, one by one, the students started clapping without changing their shocked facial expressions. Even Himeko and Theresa felt like obliging to this.
Soon enough, everybody snapped out of it.
"I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it with my own eyes... Just how are you THIS strong?" [1] Himeko asked out loud, still in disbelief from what happened. She knew Neptune wasn't from this world, as she was informed by Theresa, but it was still a sight to behold.
"Eh, I fight big guys like them all the time back home – so they're no biggie." Neptune replied with a smile. Not one that showed smugness, but a genuine, proud smile.
Some of the students even took out their notebooks and quickly jotted that down as if that would allow them to get stronger faster, causing some of the others around them to chuckle a bit as they also started to contemplate the idea.
"Well, Neptune – you and your group have successfully cleared the gauntlet. The error that skipped you all to Round 5 was very abrupt, but we'll be looking into that. Your group is now free to return to the dorms or do whatever else you kids do nowadays." Himeko concluded as she smirked at them.
"Th-thanks Auntie Himeko..." Kiana muttered in slight pain as she, Mei and Bronya stumbled towards Neptune.
"Oh, you three should get patched up first. We weren't prepared for something like this to happen." Theresa interjected, causing the three to nod at each other as she motioned Neptune to follow her outside.
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Outside the Hall
It was quiet, with the sounds of Himeko talking inside the hall being completely muffled out. You could have a quick and quiet conversation out here and nobody would be any the wiser.
"That strange glitch aside Neptune – you've really exceeded my expectations. Colour me highly impressed!" Theresa complimented with a wink.
"Aww, thanks Teri! This is just what I do after all!" Neptune smiled back, thrusting her arms to her sides to show how proud she was of herself.
"I also took the liberty of asking Bronya to continuously scan your body throughout the entire gauntlet. Safe to say, I can confirm for sure that you weren't lying about you having no Honkai Energy."
Neptune merely nodded at this, maintaining the same smile from before.
"Again, until you are able to gather enough 'Shares' to get back home – I'd like to create a full-on invitation for you to join us Schicksal Valkyries in the fight against the Honkai, a full-time member."
Neptune's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, though primarily for...
"So, does that mean I'm getting a super-cool battlesuit?!"
"Hehe, correct! Not only that, but you'll be permitted to use any of our facilities, like our gyms, the canteen, and simulation rooms. Think of it as our way of thanking you for helping us with matters that should never have been your problem to begin with." Theresa stated, mirroring the same excited smile from Neptune.
"Aww... I know you say you're the cutest, but you're without a doubt the World's #1 Bestie, Teri!"
"Now, now... Complimenting me won't get you any more bonuses!" Theresa replied with a short chuckle, one that was shared alongside Neptune's.
"Oh, and you don't have to continue your lessons if you don't want to. You're not really from our world, or "dimension", so I think it's a bit too much to ask for you to continue those against your will."
"Oh naaaaaah. The class today was actually pretty good! It just felt a little different to what I'm used to, that's all." Neptune stated whilst rubbing the back of her head with one hand.
Theresa nodded at this.
"So, with that said, what is your decision?"
Neptune thought for a few seconds about this.
"... Ah, why not? I'll try out a few more classes!"
Theresa smiled in response to this.
"Neat, I'll see if I can get your schedule done tonight." Theresa stated as she stretched out her hand towards Neptune's, with the latter accepting the handshake.
"Welcome to St. Freya Academy, Neptune."
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Author's Notes
Phew! Another one done. Took me a while to get some inspiration back, but I managed to push past and finally deliver this to you guys.
Before I talk about anything else, let me quickly address the note I left behind earlier:
[1] – Honkai fans, I sincerely do not mean to offend you, but realistically – Neptune practically stomps nearly everyone in the Honkaiverse, including Kevin Kaslana, in her base form with no difficulty. The only one who I believe Neptune would actually lose to, is the Herrscher of the End due to her having so many abilities that can counter whatever she can do, whilst also being 11-D. Neptune scales to fellow CPU Uzume Tennouboshi, whom when sealed away – created a 9th Dimensional Universe (that contains 9 dimensional coordinates as seen in Neptunia VII) that was sustained by her own body alone, making Neptune Complex Multiversal even in her Base form. I have lowered Neptune's stats (to a degree) to make the story more enjoyable and to provide more tension, whilst NOT taking away that Neptune is a lot stronger than the rest of the Honkai cast. Think of it as this Neptune in this "timeline" being weaker than her canon self. If you don't like this compromise, then you can stop reading right here – as you won't be happy.
So, Neptune is now a full-time member helping Schicksal's Valkyries out until she can gather enough shares to get back home. What will happen to the Honkai timeline now with her increased involvement?
Well, give this story a follow to (eventually) find out!
Also, if you can, I'd really appreciate if you could review this story if you have the time, even if it's mostly negative. I really do want to please as many of you as I can whilst showing all my ideas!
With that aside, I'll see you all next time.
See ya' later!