They were back, I was panicked. My chest rose up and down, throwing me into a full panic attack as I glanced around the room. I was back in my old room, staring out around my surroundings. I heard the slight footsteps growing closer with the pitter patter on the hallway walls. I threw my hands against my ears before letting out a deep scream. I needed to get away from here, I was going to get hurt.
My eyes fluttered open, feeling the sweat drenching my forehead, as Tan now sat in front of me. His eyes, wide, full of shock. He was slightly shaking me, pulling me into a tight hug, trying to get me to fully awake.
My vision was foggy but as my breathing slowed, my vision came back to me. I was in Tan's room, the stars glistening in my face as I glanced above me. It was beautiful, you could see the entire night sky.
"Are you okay, Hav?" He asked, rubbing down my back with his palm.
I breathed into his neck as I nodded, wiping the tears away from my eyes. I pulled out of his grasp, facing him now.
"Its him Tan. Someone kept coming into my room and keeping it away. Con keeps them away, I don't know how, I'm sorry," I whispered.
"Con has sleeping problems as well you know, he has insomnia. We never saw that boy sleep until you came around" He said, still rubbing my back.
I remained quiet as his lips pulled apart again, speaking.
"You came around and changed so many negative parts of us that we thought would never leave. I didn't think I could ever have a happy family feel and it ate at me everyday," Tan said.
"Sin, he's a workaholic. Ive never seen him around as much as when you are here, he was working himself to death" he continued.
I sighed, was that true? Had I saved them as much as they saved me? I finally had a sense of belonging, a sense of home, and even more of a family. Things that I never understood the feeling of.
I pulled out of his grasp, needing to get a glass of water from the kitchen and stretch my legs.
"Im going to take a little walk, get something to drink" I said, pushing my legs off the bed.
He nodded in response, giving me a smile where the moonlight hit his face.
I crept down the hallway, the silence ringing throughout my ears. When I got down the stairs, Sin sat on the couch with his face in his hands. Papers sprawled all across the table with his laptop in the middle. His leg was bouncing in an anxiety frenzy as he muttered words to himself.
I stalked around the couch before coming behind him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pushing a kiss to his temple. I felt all the nerves in his body drop, instantly relaxing. He picked his face up and leant back into my chest.
"What are you doing up Canim, it's late," He said, facing away from me.
"Sleep paralysis came back," I shrugged.
He stayed silent, not saying another word. There wasn't much he could say, I didn't want any sympathy and he could sense that. His hands grasped around mine, pressing a kiss onto my fingers.
Sin stood up and turned around to face me, the couch separating us. He reached into his back pocket, scuffling around for something, and pulled out a keychain. He reached out his hand, motioning me to take it.
I took my hand in his and he led me to the front door. I was confused but I wouldn't dare to ask, it was a mystery that I would just have to wait to figure out.
It seemed like he had been driving in the black SUV forever but it was only thirty minutes. Between me asking where are we going every five minutes with no response and nothing else to do, it felt like an eternity. I threw myself into a little ball, leaning up against the window.
The even bigger question was why did we take the SUV amongst all the other cars. They had specifically said that the SUV's were for missions due to being like tanks. I huffed into the air, causing the window to fog up.
We screeched to a halt that almost flung me out of my seat. Sin threw off his seat belt and jumped out of the car faster than I could even sit up. I unbuckled my seat belt slowly just before he opened my door and held out his hand for me. He always helped me out of the car, it was his own personal touch of gentleman.
As my feet hit the gravel, I looked around at my surroundings. We were in the driveway in front of a warehouse that looked abandoned from the outside. It had peeling paint aside from the cracked red brick holding it together. A few of the windows were smashed out, leaving slivers of cut glass in the others.
Sin didn't drop my hand as he closed the door behind my, pushing my body in front of him. He moved his hand around my waist, pushing me forward. I trusted Sin but at this moment, my entire body was vibrating with fear of why we were here.
As we entered the building, it was dark and old. It looked like it hadn't seen human life in ages. There were a few lamps that clung to the ceiling but were flickering out, trying to stay alive. He continued leading me through the curved hallways of darkness.
We met face with one room that he pushed us both into, slamming the door behind us. It was a concrete building with one specific light shining into the middle of the room. There were old paint stains and liquid stains that lined the walls. In the middle of the room sat a chair that looked like it was from a dentist. A rolling table with a tray sat next to it, almost like the one from the other day that held all of the tools for my wounds.
He let go of my waist, staring me into my eyes and motioning me to sit down at the chair. I gulped but I obeyed, I knew he wouldn't hurt me. My legs shaked as I took a seat on the hard leather, staring back into Sin. I could barely make out his face from the lack of light as he leaned up against the wall.
"Would you kill Evin if you got the chance, Haven?",he asked, pulling his gun out and placing it on the counter that lined the wall.
I realized that the wall he stood by contained multiple floor length mirrors and a huge countertop with multiple cabinets. A cool breeze hit my skin and my hair rose.
"I-I-I'm not sure, I would hope so," I stuttered out. That was the truth, I had always wanted to kill him. But if the chance came, could I do it? I had killed others before but that was before knowing who they were. I knew Evin was good at least once in his life, he just had went down the wrong path.
Sin took a step towards me, cocking his gun into place, turning off the safety.
"I slaughtered my father here. In this exact room. Does that scare you Canim?" He bit out, his voice sounding cold and dark. His eyes matched his voice, they were sunken now and looked bitter.
I sent a gulp down my throat before shaking my head from side to side. I was scared of Sin and what he was capable of but not that he killed others.
"Why not?"
"I am sure there's more to the story" I said, trying to sound confident.
A smile pulled at his mouth but it was more than a friendly smile. It was a devilish smile that sent chills throughout my body. He took another step forward, still holding his gun in his right hand. He placed his free hand on top of my thigh, mirroring himself in between my legs.
He trailed his hand up to my face, cupping it into his palm and pulled me forward. His hands ran through my hair, grasping it into his fingers. He eased into me, going in deeper, taking full control of the kiss. Our tongues twirled together like a messy knot, trying to untangle.
A soft moan escaped my throat, releasing it into his delicate mouth. He tasted of whiskey and sex, the perfect combination. He bit into my bottom lip, pushing his body further into mine before I laid back against the chair.
He pushed his head a few inches away from me, glaring into me with his large green eyes.
"Do you trust me?" He questioned sternly.
"Why?"
"Answer the fucking question Haven" he spat out of his teeth.
"I do" I said in compliance. It was the truth, I followed my heart. He had my heart and life completely in his control and I wouldn't doubt his care for a minute.
The same devilish smile came over his face as he pushed my legs apart on the chair. He undressed my body, pulling at all of the pieces of clothing. The chilly wind filled the air which made me want to curl up against my own heat.
He stared back at me, down my body, taking in the sight of my naked body. Sin turned towards the rolling table, picking up the pieces of rope that sat atop it. He pulled my hands away from my body, wrapping them together in between the rope.
I got flashbacks of when Tan did the same but with his belt. Especially how it was digging into the same little spots on my wrist. I couldn't move now, I was fully restrained besides my legs being fully spread for him.
Sin cupped my throat into his palm, kissing down my neck and chest. I groaned in pleasure as the wetness began building at my heat. He squeezed my inner thigh with his empty hand before dragging it underneath my folds.
"I don't want you to fear me Canim. I want you to trust me in anything I do" he said.
I gulped as a screamed escaped my throat after he slammed two fingers into me without warning. He wasn't being a pleasureful gentleman like he was in the gym, he was showing me ownership.
He was going to break me down to see if I still trusted him after all of the pain. I wanted him to break me down, I wanted him to treat me like shit. I needed this as much as him, I wanted to replace my fear with pleasure.
He slammed his fingers in and out of me while rubbing my clit with his thumb. It was roaring an orgasm that I couldn't grasp throughout my pussy. As I bucked my hips further into his fingers, wanting to find my release, he pulled out of me. I whimpered as my face leaned up, meeting his.
I saw him lift his gun up, studying it over for one last time.
"Im asking you again Haven. We can quit right now. Do you trust me?" He said, his eyes boring into mine.
"With my life" I replied.
He straightened with my words and leaned back over me. It didn't take long for me to realize what he was doing before he dragged the pistol's tip down my slit. His loaded gun was rubbing my clit, circling it as he leaned into me.
My breathing got heavier, pure of out excitement and pure fear. I felt it and I loved that I felt it.
"Im scared Sin" I whispered.
"Shh, trust me Canim" he said, putting a finger to my mouth.
He dragged the gun away from my clit, bringing it up to my temple. The side of it leaned against my head, pointing towards the wall behind me. Without warning, Sin shot off the gun, sending the ringing into my ear.
He snarled in my ear and brought it back down to my pussy, more wet than ever before. I felt pure terror, like I had once felt with Evin. Useless and unable to save myself again. A tear escaped my eye now, not knowing how to feel. There was so many emotions at once, how did I pick just one?
"Feel them all love, let them all out" Sin growled, almost like he could read my mind.
With the finishing of his sentence, he thrusted the gun into my pussy. The cool metal pushed up inside of me causing me to clench around it. I groaned in pure shock, my head tilting back as my tied hands fell to my stomach.
He dragged the weapon in and out of my dripping pussy, allowing me to relax into the coolness of it. The chance of him pulling the trigger inside of me, killing me instantly, was thrilling. It was an act of pure trust and I was drowning in the feeling of it.
He pulled it out of me, tossing it onto the table next to him. His hands grabbed my waist, flipping me over onto my stomach. A large smack came across, hitting my bare ass. I let the tears pour out, all of the emotions coming in one large wave.
The flashbacks of Evin hitting me, killing my mother, and all of the years of abuse, flashed through my head. I felt bile and anger piling into my throat, I had enough. Sin slammed down another smack as the anger rose through me, sending a petrified scream to escape me. I couldn't stop as I saw the red flashing behind my eyes. I was releasing my past. The anger quickly turned into tears and regret as the burns began to sting and the adrenaline faded.
"Do you still trust me Haven?"
"Always," I cried between the tears.
He released his grip on me, pushing me to my side, cutting off the rope.
I felt myself curl into a small ball.
"I need you to hold me Sin, please. I need someone" I begged in a whisper.
With that, he propped himself up onto the chair alongside me, pulling me into his lap. He cradled me in his arms, pressing his face against mine, in a tight hold. He rocked me slowly as I let the tears pour out almost choking on them.
"Im never letting you go Haven, you're safe with me, I would never hurt you" he said softly as he kissed my temple.
I felt broken but I needed it. I needed to feel the terror that Evin had placed inside of me and to be shown that I could overcome it. I had survived it, I survived through the fear. Sin had shown me my strength and that I could overcome anything.
"Why Sin?" I asked.
"I needed you to see how brave you are, how strong you are. I needed you to understand that I will never put you in a situation that I can't control."
We sat in silence for a few moments as I caught my breath. I pushed my head further into his chest, never wanting the warmth of him to leave me.
"You are about to walk into a scenario that is unknown to us. I hate myself for it, I hate that I have to put you in danger for the integrity of my business. But, I needed you to know that I will always be there, I will always save you" he said.
With that, the night flushed away past us. Our connection had grown deeper, Sin had set me free. I was brave and strong, Evin couldn't take that away from me anymore.