"He-he what?" I asked, the words he was saying to me were not registering. I could feel my eyebrows scrunch together as I was trying to process what he meant.
"Tony didn't make it sweetheart," he said.
"What do you mean?" I asked him, it wasn't making any sense. "I stopped the spear. He didn't stab him. He was able to snap his fingers and bring everyone back."
"Yes, you stopped the spear, but when Tony made the snap, he didn't make it through. The stones were too much power," Steve told me.
I sat there stunned. I wasn't sure what to say. I leaned back in the bed, involuntarily wincing as the pain in my abdomen flared up. Suddenly all the emotions were flowing through me, tears were falling from my eyes faster than I could think.
"Are you okay?" Steve asked, rushing to my side.
"I'm fine."
"It's not your fault," he told me.
"How'd you know what I was thinking?" I asked.
"I can read your face," he simply said.
I let a small, sad smile slip onto my face.
"I told him to let me do it," I said barely above a whisper. "But you know what he told me?"
"What?"
"He said he made a promise to you. What does that mean?"
"I made him promise me he wouldn't let you do something stupid to get yourself killed," Steve said shaking his head. "That if I wasn't able to protect you, that he would for me."
"I can't believe he would do that for me," I said.
"He loved you like a sister, just like how you loved him like a brother. We all didn't see eye to eye most of the time, but at the end of the day, deep down, we all knew what we had," Steve told me.
"You're right, I would have done the same. There's so much I have left to say to him."
"I know," was all he said to me before wrapping his arms around me. I then let go of all of the emotions and just cried.
~3 Days Later~
"You ready?" I heard behind me. I turned to see Steve standing in the doorway of our apartment in a black suit.
"Yeah," I muttered. I took one last look at myself in the mirror. I wore a black dress cut just above the knees, I had long sleeves to cover my metal arm. My hair was in a twist to keep it out of my face, and the heels I had pulled out of the back depths of my closet were already creating blisters on my heels.
But none of that mattered. Today we would be saying goodbye.
"Let's go," Steve said, holding his arm out and I grabbed it gratefully, letting him lead me to the car.
The drive was silent as we made our way towards the cabin Tony had been living in the last few years with his family. The thought of Pepper and Morgan being left without Tony made a lump gather in my throat, one I had to force down or else the tears would start all over again. The only thing keeping me grounded was Steve's hand on my thighs. It was like he could sense my growing anxiety and sadness, he squeezed my leg, trying to comfort me. I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze in response.
Once we arrived, people were headed towards the back of the home, I could see Pepper, Morgan, and Happy all standing towards the front.
I spotted Sam and Bucky, the two of them lingering in the middle, I gave them each a hug before Steve and I found our spots.
Then, Pepper turned towards all of us, and thanked everyone for coming. She spoke about what a great man he was and her love for him, and his love for Morgan.
Then, everyone was silent as we each remembered Tony and what he meant to us. It was completely sobering to see everyone and know what his sacrifice meant for not only us, but the world.
There was a send off for Tony's Arc reactor, and everyone was completely silent as it was sent off into the lake. We would all remember this day forever.
~~
The funeral ended and it felt like everyone wanted to go their separate ways.
Pepper was at the door thanking everyone for coming, and giving out good-byes. When it was time for Steve and I to leave I lingered for a moment, wanting to say everything, but nothing would quite come out.
"I'm so sorry," I said, not sure what other words would ever be enough.
"I know," she said, her eyes locked on mine. It was like she knew without either of us saying a word. "You meant a lot to him, just so you know. He would never have admitted it, but you did."
"Thank you for that," I said, quickly hugging her before I lost my nerve. "I tried my hardest to stop him."
"I know, but Tony knew what had to be done and he did it," she said, a small break in her voice came through.
"He jumped on the grenade," I said, squeezing her one last time. She shook her head in agreement before we both pulled apart, a great understanding passing between us.
Steve was waiting on the porch for me, he was holding his hand out for me, and I grabbed it gratefully.
"Thanks," I said.
"Always."