😗sorry for any mistakes
Charlotte, NC
July 29th
Thursday
🎶I'm up in the woods
I'm down on my mind
I'm building a still
Down the time🎶
Lost in the world by Ye played in the kitchen as Ari was baking a pound cake. She put the cake in the oven before she started to kitchen up her space.
"Suga" She heard, instantly rolling her eyes. She turned around, blankly looking at Makai who had Lucky's leash in his hand.
"Come walk wit' me," He said, she scrunched her face up "You won't let me leave the house but want me to walk wit' you?" She squinted her eyes at him.
He was keeping her in the house and it was very annoying. She just wanted to go to Mo's house. She didn't like being at home with all the tension between them.
She asked Mo to come to get her but she said no. She told her that she should try being friends with Makai which she didn't want to do so she was stuck.
"Yes," He said blankly. "He's your dog anyways so you need to walk him anyway." He said.
"You act like he's your dog too" She muttered taking her apron off and turning the music off. "Luckyyy, come here tink" She shouted.
She heard small paws running across the floor. Lucky came running downstairs, going straight to Makai. "I- Wow" She shook her head, going to put her crocs on.
They walked out of the house after he put the leash on Lucky. As soon as they got to the sidewalk, Makai moved her to the inside and gave her Lucky.
"You really not gonna talk to me?" He asked as they walked, breaking the silence between them both. "I do talk to you" She shrugged, stopping to let Lucky handle his business.
"If you still drink that stuff we have nothin' ta' really talk about" She gave him a tight lip smile.
"I haven't the last few days" He mumbled, eyeing their surroundings. It was true, after yet another talk with his sister, he stopped. It's only been a few days but it was the longest he went without it.
"I'll believe it when I see it" She shrugged.
He sighed "It's reasons why I drink it, Suga," He said lowly.
"Why? You don't see how numb you are when you drink it? You don't even look like you have the energy to do anything." She stressed.
"I drink it to stop cuttin' myself" He blurted making her head snap in his direction. "I- It's not an excuse nor does it make sense to everyone but it makes sense to me" He cut her off.
"When I drink it, i'on hear the voice to kill myself. I feel content" He sighed, looking down at his arm. His tattoos covered all the marks up so he didn't have to look at them.
"Are the nightmares the reason you used to do it?" She mumbled, he looked at her suspiciously.
"Sometimes you'll be screaming in your sleep before you come into my room," She said, she knew something had to be going on for him to be coming into her room at night. Sometimes if he didn't come into her room she could just hear him screaming.
He didn't say anything, they kept walking in silence until she broke it "I used to cut my thighs a year ago." She spoke up.
"Why?" He asked.
"Lots of reasons, some like you. I used to have a voice telling me to kill myself and one of my foster dads used to tell me too. I used to want to die mainly because I had nobody or nothing to live for," She explained.
"I used to like the feeling it gave me, felt like all my pain went away. From being alone all the time to never having someone care for me. From my foster father abusing me for no reason because he was drunk or letting people in my life just for them to hurt me in the long run" She continued, feeling her chest start to tighten.
She never really likes talking about herself or even letting people know about it after this friend she used to have turned on her and told people.
But she felt like in a way, she understood him.
She cleared her throat "But umm, I understand what it feels like. I would say it gets better but I don't know. I learned to live with it but it might be different for you"
He was silent again, just listening to her story. He understood not what Harmoni meant when she said that she would understand.
"M-my parents used to—used to men and women rape me and recorded for money" He choked out, her eyes grew wide.
_________________
"S-so where are they now? Did they get caught?" Ari asked, trying not to cry in front of Makai after he told her from start to finish about what his parents did.
He knew Harmoni would be proud of him for the way he was able to tell the story without shutting down. He was proud of himself.
He blew the smoke out of his mouth. "I killed them a few years back," He said, with a slight smile forming on his lips.
He remembers it like it was yesterday. He emptied the clip on both of them when he was 15. It was his first-ever gun, his favorite gun actually. He, Jae, Tech, Lu, and ManMan had them kidnapped and toured them for 3 days straight before he felt like it was enough and emptied the clip on them.
He thought it would take the 10 years of abuse they did to him away. It didn't because it still hunted him but the fact that they weren't alive anymore made him feel better.
They were his first bodies.
"Oh, well that's one way I guess" Ari chuckled, He nodded, he was surprised she wasn't scared or anything like his ex was.
But he didn't know things like that didn't scare Ari. He wasn't trying to kill her so she didn't have a reason to be scared. She also thought it was justified with what they did to him.
"Sooo, about the lean." She fiddled with her fingers. She really wanted him to stop, she felt like it wasn't going to get him anywhere. He needed to heal, not drink something to take the pain away.
"Suga '' He sighed.
"It doesn't have ta' be like that Makai. It's not going to take the pain away, it's just going to numb it for a while. I care about you and I don't want to see you kill yourself when you can just talk to someone. I'm here if you ever wanna talk or even if you don't and just sit in silence." She expressed.
"You need to heal the proper way, we both do honestly. And we can, we have each other...just—just don't drink that stuff, please" She pleaded.
This was the scariest part about getting close to some. Them dying scared her, she didn't want to be left in the world again, alone.
"I hear you," He said while putting the blunt out. She just nodded and stood up for her spot on the chair.
He grabbed her arm before she could fully walk away "I'ma try" He said seriously, she smiled "That's all I ask"
He nodded, letting her arm go. He really was going to try, it was going to be hard but he'll try it. He just didn't know how he would feel the numbness inside him.
"So we're friends now?" He smirked. He couldn't lie, it did make him feel away when she was talking to everyone else but him. And they live in the same house.
She playfully rolled her eyes "I guesss ugly" She chuckled, walking into the house and he followed behind her.
He furrowed his eyebrows "I'm not ugly" He mumbled.
"You not, you're very handsome" She chuckled as they walked into the kitchen. "You want a piece?" She asked, grabbing a knife to cut into the pound cake.
"Yes," He quickly said. He loved every time she baked, she never disappointed. "Why don't you start selling the stuff you make?" He asked, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge.
"I'on kno'. I should start to build up my clientele for when I open up my bakery. I'm just a little nervous tho" She shrugged, handing him the piece of cake on the napkin.
"You want to own a bakery?" He asked, seeing her eyes light up "Yes, I'on kno' what the name will be but yeah. It's always been a dream of mine" She smiled.
"You want to open up something that you haven't opened?" She asked, leaning on the countertop and then breaking off the piece of cake.
He nodded "I wanna build a hotel resort from the ground up by the beach." He smiled slightly.
Makai would have been started on it but he and the rest of the boys just decided to get out of the drug business maybe a year ago. He knew with what he had done to get to the top, nobody was ever going to not try and come for them but it probably won't be as bad as it is in the future.
"That would be so cool, I've never been to the beach before"
"Really? We'll have to go someday then" He said.
She smiled big "I'll like that"
___________________________________
Heeeeeeyyyyyy
Thoughts?
Yes those bastards are dead, dead as hell actually 🕺🏾💃🏾
They opened up to each other aw🥲
The start to a new friendship🥹
Y'all think he's going to stop?
115 votes for an update!!!
BYEEEE UNTIL MY NEXT UPDATEEE🦋