Throughout the first few episodes, Shelby subtly moved closer to Toni every once in a while. At first, Toni didn't notice but after the fifth time of Shelby suddenly repositioning herself and somehow ending up a little bit closer to Toni again, she couldn't help but look at her questioningly.
"What?" Shelby asked innocently.
"I–" Toni started but as Shelby didn't let anything on and just kept on looking at her innocently, she started to doubt herself. What if she was just imagining it?
"Nothing." Toni pursed her lips. She turned back to the TV, but her focus remained on Shelby in her peripheral vision.
It took barely a few minutes for the blonde to move again.
Toni turned her head to look at her directly. "What are you doing?"
Shelby shrugged while doing a really bad job of suppressing a smile. "Just wanted to see if you would fall for it."
Toni furrowed her brows, smiling hesitantly. "For what?"
"For the same thing you thought was 'subtle' when you tried to get closer to me–my wolf form I mean–a few months ago."
Toni raised her eyebrow. "Oh, so you're mocking me. I see."
"I–no. It's just–"
"No, no. No need to explain. I get it. You think I'm stupid." Toni joked, feigning offence.
"Oh, stop." Shelby rolled her eyes. "What on Earth made you think I was stupid enough to fall for that back then?"
"Well, I thought you were an animal." Toni shrugged.
Shelby raised her eyebrows. "You know that even a regular wolf's senses are better than yours, right? With their hearing and their sight, they would've been able to pick up on it just as easily as me."
"I–well..." That did sound vaguely familiar to Toni. It was probably something she'd seen in Biology. She wished she'd payed more attention in that class so she wouldn't have to look so stupid to Shelby right now.
"Did you really think you were being subtle?"
"Well, yeah." Toni rubbed the back of her head. "But apparently not?"
Shelby shook her head, whether it was as an answer or just out of disbelief, Toni wasn't sure. The blonde was barely suppressing her smile anymore.
Shelby didn't move back to her original spot now that got caught, sitting now barely a foot away from Toni. Maybe she hadn't just done it because she'd wanted to prove something. Maybe she wanted to sit closer to– Toni stopped her thought process there. Trying not to overthink it, she turned her head back to the TV, remaining acutely aware of Shelby's proximity.
Shelby was leaning against the backrest of the couch. She raised her hand to her mouth and yawned.
"Maybe you should lie down again? And rest more?" Toni was starting to sound like a broken record to her own ears, but it had barely been 12 hours since Shelby had shown up with the dagger in her flank. Toni wasn't very knowledgeable when it came to medical shit, much less when it had to be applicable to a werewolf, but, human or werewolf, it definitely didn't seem like a good idea for someone to be even remotely active again so shortly after what Shelby had gone through.
"Yeah. You're probably right." Shelby nodded, right before she lay down, but, instead of lying down with her head on the pillow on the other end of the couch, she lay down with her head on Toni's lap, just like she had on movienight. She turned so she was looking up at Toni, who looked back in shock.
"Do you mind?" Shelby asked, looking up at Toni. The playful twinkle in her eyes had turned shy.
"I–Um...no. I don't mind. " She didn't mind at all. She just wasn't going to be able to concentrate on the show they were watching anymore, but that was fine. Everything was fine.
Shelby turned on her side towards the TV and closed her eyes.
"You sure?" Shelby asked after a few minutes. She didn't move from her position, she didn't even open her eyes.
"About what?"
"That you don't mind me lying here."
"Oh. Yeah." Toni didn't know why Shelby was asking her this again, she'd already said she didn't mind.
"It's just...your heart is beating really fast."
Toni felt her face heat up. She didn't need a mirror to know how fucking red her cheeks were becoming. She was just glad Shelby hadn't bothered to open her eyes because Toni wasn't sure she could handle any more embarrassment right now. "Um, you can hear that?"
"Mhm." Shelby hummed sleepily.
"I–" Toni's worst fear had just come through. Well, maybe not her worst fear, but it came very close. "Well...you're hearing it wrong. I'm fine." It was a petty lie but she didn't know how else to counter the accusation (which was very much true, but Toni wasn't just about to admit that Shelby just lying with her head on her lap was enough to make her heart race).
"Mhm. Sure. Whatever you say." Shelby said. Her eyes were still closed but she was wearing a faint amused smile.
Toni didn't know what else she could say to lessen the embarrassment she was feeling right now, but it didn't matter because Shelby already seemed to be drifting off.
By late afternoon they'd watched the whole first season. In the middle of the season, Toni had asked her if there was something else she wanted to do or watch, but Shelby had insisted she was content with just watching She-Ra in the moments she was awake. Shelby had barely gotten up from the couch–just once to go to the bathroom. Aside from that, she'd just mostly lain there, drifting in and out of sleep with her head on Toni's lap. The bags under her eyes had become more apparent and she was starting to look more pale again. Toni figured it was because Shelby hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and even then she'd barely touched her food. At least she was drinking a lot of water. That had to be good, right? Staying hydrated had to be important, especially with the amount of blood she'd lost.
If Shelby's head hadn't been lying on her lap, Toni would have gone up to get her backpack from her room so she could do something useful with her time and get some homework done, but she hadn't wanted to risk waking Shelby up when she was asleep, and for some reason Toni had been unable to ask her to move off her in the few moments she had been awake.
At some point, Toni had started to mindlessly rake her fingers through Shelby's hair. Toni hadn't realised she was doing it until Shelby hummed contentedly. It had been a habit when she'd hung out with the wolf, whenever the wolf had laid her head on her lap, she'd raked her fingers through her fur. In a way, it wasn't a new thing for them (even though it felt very new for Toni to be raking her fingers through the blonde's still slightly humid hair), to Shelby it probably felt like a normal thing for them to do, so Toni figured she might as well keep doing it seeing as it also seemed to be bringing Shelby comfort.
During the credits of the first episode of the second season, Shelby suddenly turned on her back, looking up at Toni. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure. Shoot."
"Last I saw you, I mean before the eclipse, you were pretty...dejected. I was just wondering, how's the situation with your mom going?"
Toni raised her eyebrows in surprise. That was definitely not what she had expected her to ask. She couldn't fathom why Shelby would even ask her this–why she cared. If Shelby had asked her this a few months ago, hell, even just a week ago, Toni would've very likely blown up at her. She would have been infuriated. But not now. She could blame it on being tired or on the fact that she just really didn't want to be angry with her anymore. She was pretty sure Shelby's intentions were well-meaning. However, that didn't mean Toni suddenly felt comfortable talking about this with her–or with anyone that wasn't an animal that (she thought) wouldn't be able to understand her.
"Right. I told you about that." Toni said, trying to deflect the question.
Shelby sat up and moved to the right, no longer touching Toni. She turned so she was sitting sideways on the couch, turned fully towards Toni. She pulled one of her knees up towards her chest, hugging it, while her other leg remained flat on the couch in a bent angle. "Would you like me to pretend that you never told me about it?"
Toni shrugged, "Nah, it's fine I guess." Toni stretched her legs. They had become sore two episodes ago from staying in the same position for an extended period of time, but she hadn't wanted to disturb Shelby while she rested so she had just tried to ignore it.
"You can still talk to me, you know." Shelby said somewhat shyly. She leaned sideways against the backrest of the couch.
Toni sighed. "I don't tell people about that shit for a reason, Shelby."
"But didn't it feel good to finally talk about it? To someone . Even if you thought I wouldn't be able to understand you?"
Toni stayed silent. She averted her eyes to the TV instead of answering, biting her lip in agitation. She shrugged. Truth was, it had felt good. Really good even. It had made her feel lighter. Less pent up in anger. But that was when Toni hadn't known the wolf could understand her (even though sometimes it had kind of felt like she could). Even now–knowing it had always been Shelby–she still felt lighter. She would've expected to feel more angry, furious even. But she wasn't. Not really. Not anymore. She mostly just felt embarrassed now. And vulnerable.
"I guess. I just–" Toni clenched her jaw and sighed, looking down at her hands which were fiddling with the ends of her sleeves. "I don't want people to pity me."
"I don't pity you, Toni." Shelby said softly but with audible sincerity. "I just care about you."
Toni looked up from her hands. When her eyes met Shelby's, all she could see was honesty. Even though Shelby had told her this before, it still surprised her. "Why?"
Shelby frowned. "Why wouldn't I?"
Because I'm not worth it. Toni didn't say it out loud though. The last thing she wanted was for the care in Shelby's eyes to turn into pity after all. Toni tried to find something to change the subject. The first thing she could think of was answering the question Shelby had asked her earlier but Toni really didn't want the conversation to go back to being about her mom. Ever since Shelby's absence, she had kind of forgotten about it, especially when she'd shown up with a dagger in her flank. Toni voiced the first other thing that came up in her mind. "Last night, what did you mean by me 'being an idiot again'?" That was good enough. She had been wondering that anyway.
Still frowning a little, Shelby's lips parted.
Toni looked at her expectantly, hoping it would be enough for her to let go and forget about the previous subject.
"Nothing. It's just that you have a tendency of..." Shelby paused. She looked hesitant, as if she was trying to make sure she used the right words. "...not making the wisest decisions."
Toni furrowed her brows. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Shelby looked at her incredulously. "Toni, you blindly ran into the woods during a frickin' blizzard, what more do you need me to say?"
Toni opened her mouth but closed it again without saying anything. She couldn't really argue with that.
Shelby's eyes flickered from Toni's to something behind her.
"Toni?" Shelby asked, though her eyes were still trained on something behind Toni.
"Yeah?" Toni frowned and turned her head. As she looked out the window, there was nothing to be seen but the front yard and an empty road and the house on the other side of the road. She turned her head back to Shelby.
"Could you, maybe, close the curtains? I'm probably just being anxious but I feel like I've seen the same car ride by at least four times."
"Yeah, sure." Toni stood up from the couch and stepped behind the armchair to swiftly tug the curtains shut. "What does the car look like?" Toni sat back down.
"Black. Not big."
That eased Toni's mind, there were a lot of cars with that description. It was probably just a bunch of different cars that looked alike.
"Also, I think there might be a dent in the driver's door."
Only a second after Shelby finished the sentence, the sound of the doorbell resounded through the house.
***
"Well, you don't look sick to me." Was the first thing Dot said after Toni opened the front door–which Toni had only done after she'd spotted Dot through the peephole.
Toni was still recovering from the near heart attack she'd gotten from the doorbell sounding at the moment it had. She internally cursed Dot for choosing that exact moment to come by.
Toni put her fist in front of her mouth and coughed twice, not letting go of the door with her other hand. She cringed internally at how unbelievable it had to look to Dot. "I'm feeling much better, actually."
Dot raised an eyebrow at her, unimpressed and definitely not believing her.
Toni sighed, giving the act up altogether. "Fine, I'm not sick."
Dot gave her a once over. "I'm glad to see the wolf didn't bite any limbs off."
Toni rolled her eyes.
"How'd it go?" Dot asked.
"Um, well...fine." Toni said. She loved Dot very much but she really hoped she wasn't planning to stay long because there was no way Shelby would want Dot to know about any of this. It would be hard to explain to Dot why she hadn't been in school when she was in perfect health, why Shelby was staying with Toni, clearly not in perfect health, without giving anything away about the situation not being exactly a normal one.
"So, it survived?" Dot looked impressed at the implication.
"Uhh, yeah." Toni said, making the opening of the door smaller so that Dot could see her frame but not much else. She couldn't risk her seeing Shelby, not that it was very likely as long as Shelby stayed down on the couch.
Her unusual behaviour didn't go unnoticed by Dot, who started frowning slightly. "Well, are you gonna invite me in?" Dot chuckled awkwardly, eyes squinted.
"Um–"
Before Toni could come up with a viable excuse, Dot's eyes widened. "Please, tell me you did not bring that wolf inside your house."
"What?!" Toni scrunched her brows, "No, of course I didn't." Technically, she had. She rubbed her neck nervously. "I'm not that stupid."
"Right," Dot said, sounding entirely unconvinced.
What was it with everyone suddenly thinking she was stupid, or 'unwise' as Shelby had so carefully put it?
All of a sudden, commotion could be heard from behind Toni. As she turned her head she was just able to see Shelby run into the downstairs bathroom, right before the sound of retching could be heard.
"Shit," Toni said, completely forgetting about Dot as she rushed to the bathroom.
Shelby was hunched over the toilet. The water she'd been drinking seemed to be making it's way back out. It made sense seeing as she hadn't consumed much else all day.
Toni kneeled down next to her and took hold of Shelby's hair so it didn't get in the way.
When Shelby was done, she leaned back with her eyes closed, letting out a shaky breath.
Toni let go of her hair and started rubbing comforting circles on Shelby's back, or at least what she hoped was comforting. Shelby seemed to be leaning into it so she didn't stop.
"Toni," Dot suddenly said from behind her, startling her.
She'd completely forgotten about Dot. Toni turned her head to look at her.
"Here," Dot held out a glass of water to Toni.
"Thanks." Toni said, taking it from Dot and turning back to Shelby. She could worry about Dot later. "Here. To rinse your mouth."
When Shelby opened her eyes, they were a shining icy blue. "Thank you." She said, at the same time as Dot said, "Holy shit."
***
Toni was able to convince Dot to go to the living room, promising her they'd explain when they got back to the living room, so she could talk to Shelby alone.
"What do you want to tell her?" Toni asked once she was sure Dot was out of earshot.
"I–I don't know." Shelby said before burying her face in her hands. "Fuck." When she looked up again, she looked at Toni as if she had the answer. "You trust her?"
"Well, yes." Toni said before asking, "Do you?"
"I–Yes, I think so." Shelby didn't sound sure though. And Toni couldn't really blame her. The whole reason Shelby was here, recovering from being fucking stabbed amongst other weird fucked up things, was because she'd put her trust in the wrong people–people who'd promised to help her. Though Toni was sure Dot would never do anything even remotely like that, she could definitely understand finding it difficult to trust people after such an experience.
"Do you want to tell her?" Toni asked.
"I mean, I don't think I can come up with a believable lie right now. There's too much to think about. I don't know. I–" Shelby closed her eyes and sighed, "I'm just–I'm so goddamn tired."
Toni started rubbing circles on Shelby's back again. It had seemed to comfort her before. "It's okay. Whatever you decide on, I'll cosign."
Shelby opened her eyes and looked at her gratefully, though still frowning slightly.
"Can I, like, quickly take a look at the wound?" Toni asked, "Just to make sure nothing is wrong."
She let her eyes fall closed again and nodded, moving backwards in the small room so she was leaning against the wall behind her.
Shelby moved up her sweatshirt at her side, revealing the dressing.
Toni leaned over Shelby. She only took off the dressing partly. There was no redness of the surrounding skin that could signify an infection. In fact, parts of the small, barely scabbed line were starting to look dark pink and more cohesive, like the wound was already starting to scar. All this seemed to indicate that the wound was healing well, so maybe Shelby was just feeling some, like, aftereffects or something. Toni wasn't a doctor so she couldn't be sure, but it was the only thing she could think of that it could be.
"Is it gone yet?" Shelby asked, her eyes were still closed, though in a relaxed way, as if she was just resting her eyes.
"Um, no, but it seems to be healing really well though." Toni put the dressing back on fully, and pulled Shelby's sweater back down.
"You mean slow." Shelby sighed, pouting slightly.
"You call that slow?" Toni raised her eyebrows.
"Yes." The word came out sounding like a sigh. "Ever since...–I'm usually completely healed in, like, a day tops."
"Well, however 'slow', it looks like it's healing well. Plus, Linh did say something about the possibility of it taking longer than usual because of how worn out you are."
Shelby hummed in acknowledgement. She reached for the glass of water that was still more than half full and drank it all.
"Maybe you should, like, slow down on the water." Toni said. Shelby had been drinking a lot of water–like a lot . Maybe vomiting was Shelby's body's way of telling her she was drinking too much.
"I'm not nauseous anymore," Shelby shrugged, "Just thirsty."
They moved to the living room as well. Dot had taken up the armchair so Toni joined Shelby on the couch. The second they sat down, Shelby wrapped the blanket around herself. It looked like she was shivering, which made Toni have to suppress the urge to frown. The room temperature wasn't that low and Shelby never seemed to have had a problem with low temperatures before. Toni tried her best to not let it worry her, at least for now. Besides, she had just checked the wound and it had looked okay. Shelby was going to be okay. She was recovering from a horrific experience. The vomiting, the sleeping, the excessive hydrating. It was probably all perfectly normal, however abnormal the situation.
"So..." Dot began.
Toni turned her head towards the brunette.
Dot was looking at them expectantly. "What the hell is going on?"
Waiting for Shelby to start, Toni turned to the blonde, only to see her already looking at her.
Shelby's eyes flickered nervously between her and Dot. She settled for not really looking at anyone when she spoke. "Well...so, um, you see–"
"She's sick and I'm helping her." Toni interrupted Shelby, giving her something to start off of. Or she could simply choose not to elaborate. Shelby could do anything she wanted with that, whether she still wanted to tell Dot the truth or decided not to.
Shelby looked at her gratefully, before reverting her eyes to Dot. "Yes, I haven't been feeling too well ever since the eclipse and today Toni's been takin' care of me."
"Yeah, no shit, you look awful." Dot furrowed her brows, concern was evident in her eyes. "But really? I mean, you chose Toni of all people to ask for help?"
"Hey, what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Toni asked, frowning.
Dot ignored her question. "Since when do you two actually get along? Like, more than just being civil?"
"Since Toni realised I'm not actually a bad hang." Shelby answered with a soft smile.
"Half of the time, sure." Toni said, her tone teasing.
Shelby pushed her shoulder lightly. "Hey, don't be mean."
"I'm sorry," Toni said, still smirking, "You're a delight to hang out with."
Shelby rolled her eyes, but Toni could see she was fighting a smile.
When Toni turned her head to look at Dot again, she was observing them with a somewhat perplexed expression.
"What?" Toni asked.
Shelby was starting to sideways lean on Toni. Shelby was definitely just doing it because it was taking her a lot to stay sitting upright. That didn't mean it didn't have an effect on Toni's ability to concentrate on the ongoing conversation. Especially when Shelby also leaned her head on Toni's shoulder.
Toni did her best to force her eyes to stay on Dot and not freak out, or do something equally as embarrassing like blush or something.
"Nothing." Dot shook her head. "I feel like I should have expected this."
Toni frowned. "Expected what?"
Dot regarded them for a second, slightly squinting her eyes. It looked like she was having some kind of realisation before shaking her head. "Doesn't matter. I'm just glad you're not at each other's throats anymore." Dot said. Not giving them the chance to ask again, she continued, "So, we're just not going to acknowledge the eye-thing?"
Toni looked at Shelby who looked like she was at a loss for words, opening and closing her mouth. She turned to look at Toni. The panic in her eyes was enough for Toni to understand that now was not the time for any big revelations, so Toni said the first thing she could think of. "It was probably just a weird reflection of the light."
Dot raised her eyebrows.
Toni looked at her pleadingly, hoping she would get the hint to let it go, if just for now.
Dot looked between the two of them before shaking her head. "Okay, well, you obviously don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I prefer not to get all up in other people's business, like, as a principle. Just know that if you do want to tell me sometime, you can."
It was clear that Dot knew something wasn't adding up, especially with the flimsy explanation Toni had given for the eyes, plus they hadn't really given a reason for why Shelby wasn't at home, or why it was necessary for Toni to skip school to stay with her, but it seemed like Dot was going to let it go, at least for now.
Dot left not long after that. After Toni saw her out, she went to get a bucket and placed it next to the couch in case Shelby needed to throw up again so she wouldn't have to run to the bathroom every time. Shelby was lying down again. It looked like she had already fallen asleep.
Toni tried to ignore the worry that was building back up in her chest. She had to remind herself of what Linh had told her about the healing process. This was all normal.
Toni had barely sat down when the doorbell rang again.
Dot must have forgotten something. Toni hoped she hadn't made up her mind or something.
Toni quickly went to open the front door to see what she needed. But when she opened the door, the woman standing before her was the last person she'd expected to see.
"Mom?"