Ryker
Ryker glanced at Daryl sleeping in the truck as they merged into the traffic that would take them into New Orleans and frowned. He had kept his mate away, selfishly, for far longer than he should have. Not only did he know how badly Daryl missed home and the other two, he saw now just how lean the man had gotten and not in a good way. Daryl didn't have an ounce of fat on him normally. Now he looked to be losing muscle mass. Again, after the hard fought gains he had gotten from careful meal plans and diets that Carbry had insisted on.
Even with the fact that Daryl had taken down large deer every day or second day the entire time they were gone, or the fact that Ryker had packed high calorie meal packs, provided by Charlie, along with them. It still wasn't enough and Ryker hadn't noticed the difference until they had finally arrived back at his brother's farm and Mary had forced Daryl to eat something. The man had finished an entire breakfast that could probably have fed an entire family, napped, and then did the same for supper, plus the protein shakes and bars that Charlie kept slipping into Daryl's hands.
Daryl wasn't starving, but it was clear that despite his petulant stubbornness about drinking the meal replacements Knight Corp created for him, he actually needed them.
Ryker had nearly broken down then, half expecting Charlie to lay into him. But the man had merely given him a firm hug and ruffled his hair, murmuring. "You didn't know. And he wouldn't have it any other way. Don't insult him by getting yourself all broken up about it."
Even so, Ryker made the normally long drive from Texas even longer, stopping frequently to grab Daryl enough food to last a couple of hours. It wasn't healthy, though Daryl didn't seem to mind the constant supply of burgers and milkshakes in between naps and their conversations as they talked about anything and everything.
Even beyond anything else, the fact that they had spent all this time together, and the past several days talking again, had helped them. Whatever had fractured between them had been mending, but now Ryker felt as if his mate was attached firmly to his side and he wasn't about to let him go.
But now, Ryker was turning down toward the towering Knight Corp building, feeling a buildup of anticipation. He knew they had been watched and followed from the moment they passed into the first part of civilization, though Ryker hadn't turned on his phone and neither had Daryl. He half expected Carbry to be standing in the parkade waiting for them, though he wasn't sure if it was disappointment or relief when they pulled into the spot and there was no one in sight.
He plugged in the truck before grabbing the bags and then finally waking Daryl up, grinning and helping him stumble tiredly down from the truck. "Morning cowboy. Well... it's almost night time... but we're home."
Daryl yawned and half reached for his duffle bag, rolling his eyes and just slipping an arm around Ryker's shoulder when Ryker refused to give it to him. "Home is with you, Ryke. But a shower would be nice."
He saw Daryl glance around as well, saw the flash of disappointment that his mate quickly hid as they made their way toward the elevator. "I was thinking our fridge is probably empty, so I'll order in. I think you have a couple of those shakes in the freezer, though. You can grab one as you shower and I can..."
Daryl kissed him as they stepped into the elevator, hitting their floor number absently as he pushed Ryker up against the wall. "Shh. You're showering too. And we have been spending all our waking moments thinking about food."
"You need to look into the screen, D. And hit your code." Ryker laughed, kissing Daryl back before the man turned and followed the directions. "And I think you should step on a scale to see how much you've dropped, maybe avoid the gym until you've gained it all back."
"I'm fine." Daryl chuckled and leaned against the wall, his expression softening after a while. "We just sticking with us for now?"
Ryker paused, letting out a slow breath as he thought about it, then nodded, carefully. "Let me see how... it is..."
Daryl just nodded and followed him out the elevator doors, and Ryker was struck by how odd it was, them using their own floor. They had become so accustomed to just using the penthouse entrance, even if they were going to their own home. They'd walk through the upper apartment, checking on things, saying hi, usually spending time up there. It had been becoming less and less two apartments and more like a multi-storey home.
Ryker hit the codes to open the door and held it for Daryl as they stepped in, the scent of those memories and the other two washing over them. He saw Daryl glance toward the stairwell leading upstairs, to the closed door at the top, before the man kissed his cheek and moved to the kitchen. "You want a beer?"
Ryker didn't know if Meri and Carbry were even home.
Maybe Carbry had left, maybe he had pushed his luck by staying away so long, by clinging to his anger. The space between all of them, when they were so close, seemed larger now as he strained his senses to try to hear if there was anyone upstairs. "Yeah, and a bottle."
He tossed the bags down the hallway before following Daryl, sitting on one of the counter stools and grabbing the bottle of blood Daryl placed in front of him, watching his cowboy pull out the blender and the frozen, pre-prepared bag of fruit, powders and everything else that Daryl needed to consume every four or five hours.
"I suppose I can't hope that these things taste like Vanilla milkshakes, huh?" Daryl offered him a half smile once the blender was done, pouring the light purple liquid into a cup before adding a metal straw.
"They're not that horrible." Ryker chuckled, drinking his blood as he watched Daryl drink his concoction
The cowboy shook his head, letting out a breath when he finished half of it. "Nah. Honestly, it doesn't taste bad. It just... reminds me of being a science experiment... I enjoy eating... cause... it's about more than hitting calories and nutrients, you know?"
"No one says you have to stop eating, love. These are just to fill in the gaps." He glanced at his bottle, considering it.
He survived off blood. He could consume only it for the rest of his existence, but it was still enjoyable. The taste, the feeling it gave him to have his fill. It was all everything his body needed.
"Did I ever tell you how they've been trying to manufacture synthesized blood?" Ryker offered after a moment.
He glanced up at Daryl, who shook his head.
"It covers all the bases... but it doesn't satisfy. It could stop you from going into a blood lust, or starving, but... you don't stop craving the actual stuff." Ryker offered a shrug, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "We carry some of it with us, in a pinch. Like, if we're on a long mission and the real stuff is running low, it's stored in these bags, you need half as much to feed you from the actual stuff. It keeps us going, but it's like... you're still thirsty."
"I watched a vampire movie with Meri.... And the synthesized stuff made them blow up." Daryl offered, finishing his glass and letting out a slow breath. "But I understand what you're saying. It's kind of like that, being hungry all the time. Like... this stuff makes me full. It helps take the edge off, but I still want something to eat, even if it's just a cracker or something, afterwards."
"Go shower. I'll be there in a minute." Ryker grinned, watching Daryl put the cup in the sink and walk off toward the washroom, before he glanced up to the ceiling, tilting his head to the side. "I'm not going to come crawling back to you... if that's what you're waiting for... I will not do it."
Then he finished his bottle and stood, walking to the washroom to join his mate in the shower.
Fuck Alesky if he didn't care that Ryker was back.
***
Carbry
Carbry stood at the door to Ryker and Daryl's apartment, fidgeting. He had waited like Meri had suggested, but now that the boys were home, he couldn't wait any more. Carbry told himself that he'd be fine even if he was only allowed a brief interaction.
He had used the stairwell he built to connect their homes, the private one that turned their two apartments into one. Sighing, he shifted the bottle of whiskey from his right hand to his left so that he could knock. He had wanted Meri to be there too, but he knew this was something he should do alone, and she had told him as much as well.
Hell, he wasn't even sure Ryker would speak with him, even after all this time of separation. The man had a right to be upset. Car fully understood his ire and his anguish. When Meri had died, Carbry was on the edge, and the only thing that kept him from ending his miserable existence was Ryker.
But... the man felt betrayed by that knowledge and Carbry's cowardly deceit of him. He'd told Ryke that he had no weapons, that Ryker should spend some time with Daryl. Even then, Car had seen the damage that he and Ryker's growing co-dependence was having on Daryl and Ryker's relationship, so he'd tried to do the right thing.
Yet, whenever Ryker had been away, that's when the loneliness intensified and Carbry would seek out the comfort of a gun in his hands as he contemplated whether or not he should just end it all so that he could join Meri and stop being such a burden on the people he loved, his family at Knight Corp.
After a few more seconds, he squared his shoulders and cleared his throat before knocking. For a brief moment, Carbry panicked, thinking that they wouldn't even open the door, but then Daryl pulled it open, standing there in only a towel with his hair dripping.
The first thing Carbry noticed was that the man had lost weight, and despite the gravity of his hopefully impending conversation with Ryker, Carbry couldn't help it when he asked. "Daryl, are you-?"
"I'm fine, Carbry." The man's smile was rueful, and Carbry saw genuine affection in his gaze as Daryl looked him over, then turned his eyes to the bottle in Car's hands.
Car looked at the bottle as he spoke. "I-I brought this for you... and him. Can...do you think he'd be willing to talk with me? If not, if it's too soon. I understand."
Daryl contemplated him before taking the bottle from Carbry's hands and replying gently. "I'll ask him, Car. Give me a sec."
With that, the cowboy shut the door again, and Carbry felt his nerves redouble. He heard movement inside, but couldn't detect the words his two former lovers were saying to each other, and he found himself holding his breath until Daryl opened the door and said. "Come in. He said he'd try to talk... and that giving me the good shit is incredibly underhanded."
Carbry's relief that Ryker was willing to speak with him was marred by the comments about the gift of whiskey. Had it been the wrong idea to bring that? Did it seem like he was trying to buy the men off? To sway Daryl to his side?
Fully convinced his gesture had somehow made the situation worse, Carbry's shoulders slumped as he followed Daryl deeper into the cowboy and Ryker's apartment, and Carbry found himself overwhelmed by the smell of the two men he loved, a scent that had been absent from his life for far too long.
***
Carbry's breath hitched at the sight of Ryker standing in just a towel, dripping water all over his darkened kitchen's floor as he stared out the window overlooking the city. When he didn't turn around and acknowledge Car's presence behind him, Daryl said gently. "I'll give you two some time to talk."
With that, he left the two of them alone.
Car cleared his throat uncomfortably before speaking, if only to break the tension. "I'm sorry if the gift upset you, Ryker. I-I just thought you and Daryl might enjoy it. That's all."
Ryke sighed before turning around to look at Car while leaning on the counter. "That's fine, Carbry. I'm not upset about the whiskey. Not really."
Following the other man's words, Carbry breathed out a sigh of relief before launching into the beginning of the speech he'd planned. He couldn't remember much of what he had wanted to tell Ryker when the man came home, but at least he remembered the beginning points. "You...you have every right to be upset with me."
"Fuck yeah, I do." Ryke said while angrily crossing his arms over his chest.
Carbry winced but continued, "And, I realize that there's a very real chance that you can't forgive me, and of course Meriwa and I want you to be equal parents to the children. But, I had hoped we could...talk."
"Talk about what? How you're a selfish asshole?"
Carbry hung his head in shame. "Yes. I was selfish. I was so very unbelievably self-centered. I considered doing something that would have shattered the lives of the people I cared most about, and for that, I can never apologize to you enough."
Car ventured a glance at the other man, and looked up just in time to see him open his mouth to speak, but now that he'd started, Carbry couldn't help but forge ahead. "I wanted isolation, wanted to die in my own sorrow, but you kept... texting me. You kept ingratiating yourself into my life until I just accepted you as part of my new existence, and please, just let me tell you about the last time I pulled out that gun, Ryker."
The man scowled, but when he didn't object, Carbry continued. "It was about a month after Meri died. I-I had sent you home, told you to try and spend some time with Daryl because even then I knew I was fucking up your own relationship with my misery, another thing that I can't ever fully atone for. When I was alone, though, that's when the thoughts intensified, when I most wanted to end my life to join Meri..."
Car felt tears come to his eyes, but he soldiered on, despite his own tears and the glistening moisture in Ryke's eyes. "I sat on the floor of my office. I was drunk, had just finished the last of my whiskey collection, and I held that gun in my hand and was just... staring at it."
Ryke snarled despite his tears. "I don't want to fucking hear about this, Carbry. Are you trying to rub it in? Are you trying to remind me of how close you were to leaving us? To leaving me! To making me walk into the room and finding your brains painting the walls of your office?"
His voice was higher now as his grief gave way to anger, but the anger didn't deter Carbry. He knew what fuelled it, and he knew he deserved it. Ryker's anger came from the haunting image of Ryker's hypothetical failure.
"Please Ryker. I just have to finish." When he looked at the man, he could barely see him through all his tears. In response, Ryker quietened and Carbry took that as a sign to continue. "I toyed with the gun, more caught up in thinking about my own misery than how it would affect everyone I loved. But, as I sat there. I got another text..."
The kitchen was still enough that Carbry could have heard a pin drop, and his tears continued to fall as his emotions poured out of him while he recounted the memory.
"It was a message from you. Do you know what it said?"
Ryke angrily wiped his eyes with his forearm. "No."
"It said, 'Hey, asshole. I'll be back in thirty minutes. Drink your blood and not just the goddamn whiskey. And tomorrow we're going to destroy some shit'."
Carbry smelled the salt of Ryker's falling tears as he moved on. "It was then that I realized you were there to stay. No matter how much I growled at you, no matter how much I pushed you away and demanded isolation, you'd never leave me alone because you're so goddamn tenacious and persistent. It's what I've always loved about you. Why I wanted you to work for Knight Corp in the first place. What everyone saw as your weakness has always been your strength. Your bluntness, your fool-headed determination. That knowledge, the thought that you'd never leave out of sheer stubbornness, was the reason I stayed, Ryker. You were the reason I stayed. Because I was already fucking everyone's lives up enough that I couldn't destroy the only man who I knew would never abandon me."
Sensing Ryker's shock, Carbry finished. "So, I packed the gun up. Put it back where you ended up finding it and gave myself over to doing whatever shit you planned for us, destroying my office, going on suicide missions against the motherfuckers that had killed her, getting drunk, sparring like lunatics. I found myself living for that. And, as unhealthy as it was, it gave me purpose. You gave me purpose, and no matter what you decide, whether you want me out of your life or want to simply tolerate my presence as an acquaintance, I will always support you because I love you and I could never repay you for what you've done for me."
Now that he was done, he breathed out a relieved sigh and wiped his eyes to see Ryker bawling just as much in front of him. He hated that he had caused the man to cry and wanted nothing more than to embrace him, to hold Ryker, to make it better. But he held back, fearing that one wrong move would shatter them completely.
After a few long minutes, Ryke spoke. "Are you saying I annoyed you into not killing yourself?"
Car snorted, wiping his eyes again as he replied. "Kind of... I loved you even then, Ryker, and I love you now. It's a different love than we had then. A stronger love, a romantic love now, but it has always been love. And I can never express to you how sorry I am that I betrayed your trust. The only thing I can do is to promise that I'll never be that selfish again."
When Ryker cracked a small smile, Carbry selfishly hoped it was a good sign, and when the other man laughed softly, Carbry felt his hope surge. He gave the man several moments to process his thoughts before Ryker finally spoke. "You're incredibly cheesy, Carbry."
Carbry shrugged and wiped his eyes yet again. "So I've been told."
Ryker's smile fell slightly as he spoke. "I-I don't know how long it will take me to forgive you, but... I want to try because I love you too. I've loved you for a long time, and Daryl and you and Meri and the babies. You're my family. I never had a family, but I know that families fight. They get so angry at one another. I've seen Charlie and Daryl wrestling in the mud after arguing about sows or cows or some shit like that. Families can sometimes implode. But, a lot of times they end up making up because that's what family does."
It took Carbry a moment to realize that Ryker was saying that he wanted to try. He was saying he would not leave them, at least not yet. Telling Car that he hadn't fucked this thing up entirely, and the older vampire knew his face betrayed his elation as he stared at the other man.
Car read hesitation and doubt on Ryker's face for a moment before the man approached him, stopping right in front of Carbry. Worried about presuming too much, Carbry valiantly resisted the urge to reach out and touch Ryker... until the other man grabbed him and kissed him hard.
It was an angry kiss. Owning.
But it was still a kiss, and Carbry couldn't resist sliding his hands down the man's shoulders, tracing the muscles down his back all the way down to the towel barely covering him.
When Carbry slipped his hands lower to cup the Rykers's ass, he accidentally caused the man's towel to come undone, and Ryke growled when Carbry lifted him to set him roughly on the counter, pulling him close and kissing until they were both breathless.
Pulling back, Carbry spoke as Ryker began kissing his neck. "I-I know it might take a very long time to rebuild our trust, Ryker." When the man bit his shoulder, Carbry half smiled, half snarled as he pushed Ryker back and began kissing his chest.
Ryke laughed, a sound that brought lightness to Car's heart though he merely continued kissing down Ryker's body, and then the man groaned before replying. "I know. But, despite everything, I still love your stupid face."
When Carbry worked his way lower, Ryker gasped before adding. "Besides, who else is gonna spoil me by buying me ridiculously expensive apology presents?"
Grinning, Carbry paused his kissing to look up and into Ryker's eyes. "I don't just buy gifts. I can also apologize in other ways. But what do you want, love?"
Ryker paused, trying to think despite what Carbry's attention had done to him. "I want all of us. I want us to smell like each other again. I-do you think Daryl and Meri would-?"
To this, Carbry chuckled, kissing his way back up Ryker's body to take his mouth in a sweeter, softer kiss. "You know, they've had their ears pressed to the door from the moment we started talking. I guarantee that they're totally spying on us."
Following his words, Ryker grinned against his lips before pulling back and speaking loudly. "Well, they should get their asses in here, then!"
Carbry heard the sound of a door opening and the steps of the other two heading their direction, but he was too caught up in making good on his apology to Ryker that he didn't really realize they entered the room until they joined the two of them.
Yes, it would take time to rebuild their trust. But this... this was a good start.