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I failed.....
I failed.....
At everything.....
-Jungkook
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*Y/N's P.O.V*
I turned some more pages only to find out that he was constantly writing about his nightmares......
[I don't think I should write the diary anymore. I have Jieun to share everything now]
So he stopped writing his diary after that.....
I turned some pages only to find out some words written with blood....
REVENGE.....
REVENGE.....
REVENGE.....
My hands started shaking.
Was he writing with his blood?
I quickly closed the diary as i gasped for air but suddenly I remember seeing my name.
I opened it .....
D/M/Y
[I want to write today.....maybe because I can't figure out this feeling? Today I saw Y/N after such a long time. She has grown up into a beautiful lady. She is as cute as childhood just have become a more beautiful. And now I can't stop thinking about her. WHY?]
D/M/Y
[I had the same nightmare but it was different this time. Y/N was there. I saw her saving me from drowning.....is my mind playing tricks with me? Why is she in my mind all of a sudden]
D/M/Y
[I saw her again at my birthday party. I can't stop staring at her. She was looking hot in that dress and......also sexy...... I don't know why but I want to touch her once....to kissed her beautiful soft lips until she is breathless]
D/M/Y
[I will be alright if I spend one night with her.....but she is not that type to girl who will do that sins with me]
D/M/Y
[As much as I stared at her the more I carve for her. I want her but at the same time I don't want her and I don't know why?.....maybe because she is my friend or maybe because I treat her as a sister. But the carving evoled whenever I see her and I don't know why?....]
D/M/Y
[I want to laugh....i want to laugh like a mad man....my men informed me that Eunwoo is interested in girls nowadays.....it was great timing....at one hand my wedding was going to be planned and on the other hand I got this super interesting news.....]
[I will kill her right now but the problem is the girl is my bride....Y/N...he is interested in Y/N. He always wants what I want. But guess what? He won't be getting what he wants this time.....i am going to snatch Y/N from him.....and the marriage has make it even more easier......]
[What a great pleasure this is.....lust and revenge at the same time.....]
D/M/Y
[She is going to be mine tomorrow. All mine.....I will own her every single breath....she will belong to me...... I can't wait to see her trembling and begging under me.....]
D/M/Y
[Was i wrong? Why am I addicted to her all of a sudden? Why do I feel jealous whenever I see her with Eunwoo.....why do I feel angry when she rejects me? Why do I feel possessive towards her? SHE IS MINE ONLY MINE!!!]
D/M/Y
[Y/N cries too much. To be honest it gives me a little sting in my heart. She is innocent. Too innocent]
D/M/Y
[I lost it today. I felt when she was crying to get free and go to her father and brothers. She said I can have her body but not heart. How could she? What I did was so cruel. What had gotten into me? Her wrists had cuts. When she asked "why me?" I couldn't dare to answer....]
D/M/Y
[It's strange. Since Y/N is here. I am not having nightmares]
D/M/Y
[I don't know what happening. I don't even know how did I dare to face my worst nightmare just for her. I felt like passing out but I had only Y/N in my mind]
[I don't know how the hell did she get locked there but I had to punish her. I had to do what I did. So she would know that she cannot disobey me. But Yugyeom said she is at borderline risk of depression.......Yoongi hyung thinks i love her. Do I love her?]
I turned next page only to find the heading of 'IDEAS FOR Y/N?'. The pages were filled with different ideas.
Some were crossed out. Some pages were ripped. My heart was melting. Now I knew he put an effort in making me happy.
D/M/Y
[She is not forgiving me......she is not looking at me.....she is not saying anything to me. Everything was perfect until Jieun came back. She knows everything now. She asked me to kill her.....she asked me to divorce her.....she said I had enough of my revenge on her]
[But.....i never took the revenge in the first place.....i couldn't brought myself to inflict her pain I planned.....how could I?]
[I LOVE HER..... I know now.....i love her.....from the very since of our childhood....when i first met her at childhood.....i love her....but she didn't want to hear me and I messed up everything I worked so hard on.....]
[And now she hates me. But I am trying so hard. I am trying again. Hoping to get her love one day. I want to tell her that I'm not perfect. I don't know how to love. I only received pain in my life.....]
[I want to tell her that I am scared that she will leave me. I am scared because whenever I felt like living again, it's because of her......]
[I have broken again so hard.....i want her to understand me.....i want to tell her that I have no one right now except for dad who won't stay with me forever......i am so lonely....]
[If she will leave me, I will be broken completely...... I don't want to be broken again.....i love her a lot....Don't leave me Y/N.....]
That was the last page. I didn't even know I was crying silently while reading this....
I knew my final decision now!!
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