(Y/n) POV:
I woke up before Zatanna. We managed to stay perfectly still throughout the night so she was still sleeping on my shoulder. I gently slid out from underneath her and got out of bed. I grabbed Kelso's watch and held it in my hand, just examining it. The orange ring was gone. I've never seen one of our watches without it. It looked and felt different. Cold and dark. Like nothing was left but the hunk of metal in my hand. The person that gave this watch colour, life and personality gone, never to wear it again.
I have no idea how long I stared at the face of the watch but I was brought out of my trance by Zatanna wrapping her arms around me and burying her face into my back.
Zatanna: "Come lay down. Please, it's too early for you to get up."
(Y/n): "Sorry I woke you, what time is it?"
Zatanna: "Way too early."
As Zatanna pulled me back into bed I caught a glimpse of the alarm clock on my nightstand, 5:13. Zatanna climbed on top of me and rested her head on my chest after kissing me.
Zatanna: "You're not allowed to get up until at least 9:30."
(Y/n): "Ok Zee."
I wrapped my arms around Zatanna and held her while we both drifted back to sleep.
I woke up to ISAC's robotic voice telling me I have a call waiting and started cursing at the dumb watch under my breath. Zatanna groaned and rolled off me and lightly laughed at my comedic display of anger.
I picked up the watch and spoke into it.
(Y/n): "Yeah, I'm here."
Black Canary: "Hello (Y/n), how did you sleep?"
(Y/n): "Fine I guess."
Black Canary: "I'll let you get some rest but I want to speak with you today before the funeral."
(Y/n): "Okay, I'll meet you in the library around 9:30."
Black Canary: "Perfect, I'll see you then."
I gently placed my watch back onto my dresser beside Kelso's. The second I saw it the images of Kelso's lifeless body flashed through my head and I froze.
All the sudden I was back in that damned warehouse, standing overtop of Kelso as she lay there bleeding. Keener's laughter echoed throughout my head. I couldn't take my eyes off Kelso, she's dead and it's all my fault.
I squeezed my eyes shut but I still see her, her beaten and bloody face moments before her death. Then the bang. It echoed like nothing I've ever heard before. My head is ringing and I just want it all to stop.
As swiftly as it started I was pulled out by Zatanna's warm embrace. She wrapped her arms around my chest and pulled me back into my bed beside her.
Zatanna: "It's not 9:30, and you should be resting anyway. Canary just wants to make sure you take time to grieve before the pain eats you alive."
(Y/n): "I'll take the next few days off after the funeral, I-I'm not sure of what I need to be doing anyway... How do I go forward? What should I do?"
Zatanna: "I don't have an answer right now, but we will figure it out together."
Zatanna pulled me into a kiss and then pinned me down while continuing to kiss me.
(Y/n): Mh... Zee I'm...Mhmm... going to miss my.... meeting..."
Zatanna: "Mhmm... no... I'll take care of it...Mhmm."
I lost track of time kissing Zatanna. We rolled over and she must have caught a glimpse of the clock because she immediately broke the kiss and pushed me out of bed.
Zatanna: "Wait! Stand still! It's 9:20. I'll get you ready!"
(Y/n): "Zee how are you going to-"
Zatanna: "Sserd (n/y) rof krow!"
I was dressed in my usual office suit, black jacket, pants and shoes. With a white shirt, black tie and my hair done. I stood completely star struck in the middle of my room. Zatanna let out a soft giggle at my shocked state.
Zatanna: "Oh would you get going. You're going to be late."
(Y/n): "Thank you Zee, you mean so much to me."
Zatanna: "I love you. Promise me you'll be honest with Canary."
(Y/n): "I will, I love you too."
I grabbed my watch and put it on before grabbing Kelso's and stuffing it into my jacket pocket. I slipped down the hall without meeting anyone, I'm not sure I'd want to talk to them anyway.
I know they all care but I can only handle hearing the same thing so many times before I snap.
My luck ran out when I made it to the kitchen. Artemis, Conner, Tula and Garth were talking away but my presence instantly killed the conversation and a deafening silence fell over us.
"How are you?"
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
"We're all here for you."
"If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."
It all blurred together. I don't think I said a word to them before leaving for the library.
I knew the team would most likely be gone by the time I finished with Canary. Zatanna mentioned how they were all going to Wayne Manor to get dress clothes for the team members that didn't have any.
I entered the library and sat down in the spot I was in a few months ago when the training disaster happened. I enjoyed the silence. It's not comforting at all but it's not hurting, which is more than I could ask for in my current state.
I wasn't alone for long, Black Canary entered and sat down across from me. I couldn't even raise my head to look at her. I can feel the tears already starting to form. I can't let her see me like this. Now I'm supposed to be the leader of the active Division agents and liaison for the Division in the Justice League, and here I am, crying and broken.
Black Canary: "(Y/n), can you look at me?"
(Y/n): "Yes... sorry."
Black Canary: "You don't have to be sorry. Nobody expects you to jump back into action. You're only human, it will take time to grieve and figure out what you need to do."
(Y/n): "That's the problem. I-I'm not a leader. I can't run the Division, sure we only have a small number of agents active... b-but I don't even know where to start."
Black Canary: "You don't have to start today, you can take all the time you need."
(Y/n): "I-I can't do it. I can't fill her shoes. Canary look at me, I'm a failure in every way that matters! The one time, the one time she really needed me to step up and save her I failed! Face it, my legacy is a string of death torture and failure."
Black Canary: "(Y/n), you and I both know that isn't true. Things are going to get better and you're the furthest thing from a failure. Think of the family you've built here, you mean so much to so many people. You will be a great agent."
(Y/n): "I really want that to be true. I-I beat Keener... I KILLED HIM!"
Canary was shocked, that much I could tell without looking at her. When I finally forced myself to look her in the eyes, all I saw was sadness.
(Y/n): "We won... the monster is dead, but why does it feel like I lost? Why does it feel like a chunk of my heart has been ripped away? She was my entire childhood, she's the reason I'm not one of the heartless weapons the League of Shadows trains from birth. She was the closest thing to a sister I'll ever have, WHY COULDN'T I SAVE HER?!"
Black Canary: "Sometimes things are just out of our control, no matter how hard we try."
(Y/n): "You weren't there! You have no idea what happened!"
Black Canary recoiled at my outburst and I instantly felt terrible. I looked down at the ground yet again and fought to hold off the tears. I almost jumped out of my seat when I felt Black Canary's hand come to rest on my shoulder.
Black Canary: "I know you're scared. You won't have to do anything alone, we will all help you through this."
Canary's right. I'm absolutely terrified of doing this alone. I'm not ready to lead, I need to get myself straightened out first but hopefully with everyone's help, I will be ready soon.
(Y/n): "T-thank you..."
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3rd Person POV:
The entire Team sat in the large living room of Wayne manor. Alfred was getting measurements for every individual who didn't have dress clothes to wear to the funeral. Most of the Team was already dressed and ready to go. The girls all have similar black dresses on while the guys have black suits that match (Y/n)'s.
Alfred: "Would you please hold still master West. Your constant twitching is making it difficult to get a proper measurement."
Wally: "S-sorry just not used to being forced to sit still and measured."
Artemis: "I think it's funny. You're quick on your feet and great in a fight but you can't sit still in an awkward situation."
Alfred: "I assure you my dear there is nothing awkward about getting fitted for a suit. Looking proper for the occasion is a must."
Conner: "Common Wally, it's not that bad."
As Wally continued to fidget, Zatanna and Barbara walked throughout the garden of the manor towards the three Atlantians. All were dressed and ready to head to the funeral. The ladies wore black dresses that fit with the late spring temperature and the men all had their suits on.
Zatanna was constantly checking her phone to see if she received a text from (Y/n).
Kaldur: "Have you heard from him?"
Zatanna: "No. I expected at least a text. I'm worried about him."
Tula: "You'll see him at the funeral. What is there to worry about?"
Zatanna: "He didn't take the loss well. She was basically his sister."
Barbara: "We'll see him in a few hours and we can make sure he's alright."
Garth: "Your friend seems strong. In the short amount of time I've known him he's shown incredible strength of character."
Kaldur: "We will all help him get through the coming weeks."
Zatanna: "Thanks guys."
Barbara: "Hey don't worry, it's what friends are for."
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Zatanna POV:
The Team and a few Justice League members arrived at the funeral home. It was a small building outside of Gotham city. The building looked very nice, stone walls and a very nice garden around the property. The building wasn't modern or old fashioned but simply looked... pleasant.
I entered the building and the staff directed me to the main area where we were to sit for the duration of the funeral. Apart from the team, Dinah, Oliver and Bruce, I didn't recognize anyone. I could guess that a few people in the front were family. There weren't many of them and they had some resemblance to Kelso. At least I think they do, it's hard to tell from the back. I can see a few agents in the crowd, maybe six or seven total. I can make out their signature watch on most of them.
I sat beside Raquel and Artemis. After checking my phone one last time to again see no text from (Y/n) I began scanning the room to see if he was already in it. Artemis, Raquel and I were forced to whisper back and forth as we looked all around the room.
Artemis: "I don't see him and everyone is here. Where is he, it's going to start?"
Raquel: "Wait. Someone's coming in at the front, by the podium."
I was about to stand up to get a better view but Raquel put her hand on my legs to keep me down. I leaned over onto Raquel so I could see between the rows of heads.
Raquel: "Zatanna girl, what are you doing?"
Zatanna: "Shh, I can see him!"
(Y/n) was flanked by two guards and walked to the podium. Wait, he's giving a speech?! He was holding a piece of paper and adjusted the microphone after reaching the podium.
Once (Y/n) adjusted the microphone the room grew completely silent. I can tell he's incredibly nervous. He's doing a great job covering it up but he can't hide anything from me.
(Y/n): "There isn't much I can say about Alani Kelso that we don't already know. She was the best agent the Strategic Homeland Division had. She was incredibly smart, brave, caring and she would hit me if I left out funny.
(Y/n) continued talking about Kelso, the friends she made and people she protected.
(Y/n): "She was one of the most influential people in my life as I'm sure she played a major role in yours as well. She was a big sister to me, raised me to be the person I am today. I hope she knows that we are all proud of her and I'm proud to have called Alain Kelso my friend."
Raquel suddenly offered me a tissue. I didn't even realize that I began to cry. I whispered thanks and sipped the tears away as (Y/n) left the podium.
The funeral felt like it dragged on forever. (Y/n) sat in the front row next to the people who I believe are Kelso's family. After the funeral Artemis, Raquel, Wally Dick, Barbara and I waited by the limo with Alfred and the three members of the League present. M'gann flew everyone else back to Happy Harbour in the bio-ship.
(Y/n) exited the building and waved off his guards who entered a car of their own and drove off. He said goodbye to Kelso's family and shook their hands before walking over to us.
(Y/n): "Sorry I didn't text. Got busy writing andthen I had to stop at headquarters."
Zatanna: "That's alright I figured you would be busy."
Artemis: "Oh please."
Raquel: "You were checking your phone every minute."
Zatanna: "Fine! I'm worried ok."
(Y/n): "Aww, that's so sweet."
Zatanna: "I know what she meant to you. I just don't want you to be hurting and alone."
(Y/n): Thank you..."
The cheery playful tone left (Y/n)'s voice and a solemn look formed on his face. Alfred opened the door and Dick, Barbara and Raquel climbed into the limo. I was about to get in when three black SUVs came screeching into the parking lot. They stopped in front of the limo and I heard (Y/n) curse under his breath.
Oliver: "Who's this?"
(Y/n): "Nobody I want to talk to. It's most likely Amanda Waller."
Bruce: "What does she want?"
Wally: "Probably not to offer condolences."
(Y/n): "I'll find out."
(Y/n) didn't even hesitate to storm off towards the men in dark suits that stood before a short, slightly overweight, African-American woman with black hair tied back in a ponytail. She wore a navy blue jacket with a light blue undershirt, knee high navy blue skirt, black tie and black heels. I've never seen this lady before but judging by the way the guards are protecting her she must be Amanda Waller.
(Y/n) brushed right past the guards bumping shoulders with one that was either two slow to move or wanted to intimidate him. Either way (Y/n) made the guard stumble back and didn't lose his balance.
He began staring down Waller and when they spoke I couldn't make out a word. They were too far away.
(Y/n) POV:
(Y/n): "You've got some nerve showing up here Waller."
Waller: "Do I. You're a walking national security threat. Travelling without any government security and with members of the Justice League and their little covert ops team. Not a good look for the commander of the Division."
What right does she have to show up here, at Kelso's funeral and try and force me into whatever she has planned. However, I've actually taken a page out of Bruce's book and made preparations to deal with Waller. I just need to find out what she wants.
(Y/n): "What is it you're after Waller?"
Waller: "I'm done trying to ask the Division to join Cadmus. You're not in a very strong position right now so I'll give you a choice. Join Cadmus and cut all ties with the Justice League or I'll take this debate to the president. I'm sure he won't be happy that the leader of the Division is working and sharing technology with the Justice League."
(Y/n): "Oh please. Your tech is worse than ours, yes. But it's not that bad... and for what you're planning on doing there isn't much you need from us in the technology department. So what is it you're really after?"
Waller: "You're smarter than you look. We want what's inside the Fridge. You can give us access."
(Y/n): "Funny, if you really wanted my cooperation you wouldn't have gone behind the back of the Division and used DARPA to make chemical weapons. Yeah I followed the money through the seventy nine shell companies with ISAC."
Waller's eyes narrowed at me and I tried desperately to stop myself from smirking.
(Y/n): "You and I both know that the Fridge is an experimental R&D facility that doubles as a prison. If what I believe about the weapons they make there is true. I will make sure they never see the light of day."
Waller: "We'll see. Until next time Commander Vanguard."
(Y/n): "Until next time Director Waller."
How does she know about the Fridge?! I've got a serious problem brewing here with Waller.
As I walked back to the limo I could hear Wallers cars drive away. My mind ran through every possibility that could've led to Waller finding out about the Fridge.
The only conclusion I could come to that made any sense was that she had people hacking into our external communication. She must have intercepted and decoded the transmission, it's the only possible way she could have learned about the Fridge. Well, it was the only possible way I wanted to accept. In truth there are a lot of ways she could've found out, none of which are good for me.
I climbed into the limo after ignoring some suspicious looks from Bruce and Dinah. I sat beside Oliver and Wally. I shot Zatanna a confident smile to assure her that I'm fine but the truth is I'm very concerned.
Bruce and Dinah got into the limo and we started to drive away. Bruce didn't wait long to start questioning everything about my conversation with Waller.
Bruce: "What did she want?"
(Y/n): "My cooperation in killing or capturing the Justice League."
Dinah: "She was that direct with it?"
(Y/n): "Not exactly. She wants to fold the Division into Cadmus and wants me to join Cadmus. She threatened to tell the president that I'm a quote 'a walking national security threat' because I'm associated with the Justice League and I'm alone without any other government personnel when I'm with you guys."
Bruce: "If she brings this to the president you'll be-"
(Y/n): "She won't. This chess game is in a stalemate, I've made sure of that."
Bruce's eyes narrowed at me and the small moment of silence felt like forever.
Oliver: "How?"
(Y/n): "Since the incident on the Eclipse I've been using ISAC to follow a paper trail. I wanted to find out who paid DARPA labs to begin development of a chemical weapon. The trail led back to Waller and Cadmus."
Wally: "Wait, why would she want to make chemical weapons? Isn't that like a major war crime?"
(Y/n): "I thought about it as well. She started production of it before the contingency plans were stolen, which leads me to believe she was planning on using the virus as a weapon against the League should the need ever arise."
Raquel: "What? How would that even work?"
(Y/n): "Think about it. Most members of the League breathe air. A surprise attack would eliminate most and leave a handful of members whose individual weaknesses could be easily exploited."
Artemis: "Oh my god."
(Y/n): "My agents have destroyed the virus from the Eclipse and raided the last of Keener's warehouses. We captured and destroyed all remaining samples of the virus along with arresting Alicia Coswald and the last of Keener's associates. The only thing we have to worry about is Waller making more... and she can only get the formula through DARPA which is now under the direct control of the SHD thanks to Kelso. Keep the SHD out from under Wallers thumb and we don't have to worry about the gas."
Dinah: "So what are you going to do next?"
(Y/n): "I've got some meetings in Washington the next few days. Waller will undoubtedly try again and I'll have to sit through several meetings and try to hold onto what little ground I have left."
*Small Time Skip*
We arrived at the Zeta tube in Gotham city. I got out and said goodbye to the team before giving Zatanna a quick hug.
(Y/n): "I'm sorry this came about so suddenly."
Zatanna: "It's ok. Just promise me you'll get some rest a-and call me every chance you get."
(Y/n): "I will. See you soon."
I smiled back at the Team and entered through the Zeta tube.
Zatanna POV: *1 week later*
Artemis, Raquel, Barbara, M'gann, Tula and I sat at the dinner table in the Cave. The boys are out doing something in Happy Harbour but we opted to stay in. I was hoping that (Y/n) would come back today but I haven't heard from him since he called me earlier in the week and it's getting late.
I thought about using a spell to teleport to him but Artemis convinced me not to. I mean it is a bad idea if he's sitting in a meeting with some government officials and I appear behind him out of nowhere.
M'gann: "Zatanna are you alright? You haven't said a word all dinner."
Raquel: "She's thinking about (Y/n) again."
Artemis: "Can you blame her? It's a bit odd that he hasn't said anything for most of the week."
Barbara: "No text or anything?"
Tula: "What's a text?"
M'gann: "It's a surface world thing."
Artemis: "I mean... It's unlike him, right? He always sends messages to everyone. Kinda weird that he just stopped this week."
I thought about it for a moment. It was weird and I've got a bad feeling about it. He left right after the funeral when he should have spent time grieving. Not to mention that conversation with Waller when she threatened to go to the president. I just feel like something terrible has happened.
Zatanna: "Alright. I'm going to use a locator spell to find him. I would just feel better knowing where he is,"
I immediately got up and went to the main area of the Cave. The girls followed me and Barbara pulled up the holographic globe using the computer. I closed my eyes and uttered the quick spell. I heard the computer beep when we got a lock on (Y/n)'s location and opened my eyes.
Barbara: "Morocco?"
Artemis: "What's he doing in Morocco?"
Zatanna: "I-I don't know he's never said anything about going there."
M'gann: "Let's go."
Zatanna: "Umm where?"
Raquel: "To get your man back, girl."
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(Y/n) POV:
The constant roar of the Blackhawks rotors kept me awake the entire flight. I thought I would lose track of time staring out into the desert and possibly drift off to sleep but I didn't have such luck. My suit was completely clean of sand which isn't how I thought it would be but I guess I haven't really touched the sand, going from a car at the airport to a helicopter close by at the U.S embassy and out into the desert I haven't really walked at all.
I got a pair of aviator sunglasses and they helped with the bright sun. I wish I could text Zatanna but I don't know which of my communications are being monitored and I really don't want to tell Waller anything about what I'm doing. I assume she found out about the Fridge through the rumours and then received confirmation of the rumours when I requested transport to Morocco. She must have connected the dots and when she confronted me at the funeral I told her exactly what she wanted to know. I told her the Fridge was real.
Pilot: "This is Goose-036 requesting permission to land."
There was a short moment before we revived an answer.
Radio Controller: "Copy Goose-036 you are cleared for landing on the platform."
'The platform?' Is there only one? My question was answered fairly quickly. I moved up and crouched just behind the two pilot seats, held onto the back of their chairs and looked out the front window. I saw a large tower easily the size of Wayne tower in Gotham. It's all cement on the exterior with the exception of the control room at the very top. It has windows all the way around but they are very small windows and are set up as a continuous horizontal slit that cuts across the concrete. The building looks like a massive bunker. Just below the control room an extremely large helicopter landing pad was built out from the building with a large hangar door acting as the only way in or out of the base.
As the helicopter landed I immediately jumped out and walked inside the base. I was greeted by a small group of soldiers all wearing the same black tactical gear I see and sometimes wear with the exception of a special patch on their shoulders representing the base. I also noticed a lack of ISAC. Nobody here had a watch or any ISAC tech whatsoever.
I approached the man in the same military uniform as the rest only he was holding a clipboard and didn't have a vest or helmet on. He has dark curly hair and is of Hispanic-American dissent.
Ortega: "Pleasure to finally meet you commander. Names Manny Ortega, I'm the base coordinator here and will show you around the complex. I'll try to answer all your questions to the best of my abilities."
(Y/n): "Alright Manny, let's get started."
Ortega: "Before we do I just want to say I'm sorry for your loss. I met with Kelso when she visited not long after being promoted. She seemed like a wonderful person."
(Y/n): "Thank you Manny.... Now if you don't mind, I need to know everything about this place."
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Zatanna POV:
We arrived in Rabat, the capital of Morocco. As we flew overhead in the bio-ship I looked down at the massive city below. Cars and people lined the busy streets and building lights illuminated the dark sky.
Tula: "How are we going to find him? This place is massive."
Artemis: "We could start at the embassy."
Zatanna: "We can't just walk into the embassy. What would we say? Hey I'm looking for my boyfriend that runs a top secret government agency you've never heard of."
I could tell my sarcastic words hurt Artemis and I immediately apologized for being rude. I'm just on edge. He never said anything about going to Morocco. What if something happened? Was he taken here against his will? Did Waller do something?
M'gann: "Look, there's a restaurant down there just a block away from the embassy. Bio-ships reading multiple government cars there. If the workers of the embassy go there, maybe we can find out where (Y/n) went."
Raquel: "We'll need clothes that fit, we can't exactly walk in there with our uniforms on."
M'gann: "Maybe we won't have to. If I can get close enough I can scan their minds for relevant information."
Artemis: "Ok I'll fly while you focus on finding out what happened."
The next 10 minutes were fairly uneventful. We sat in silence and let M'gann focus on finding out anything about (Y/n) while not trying to disturb the people whose mind she was reading.
I looked out the window below and watched the people below. Some couples walk in the restaurant and others leave. Watching the flow of people reminded me of the time I spent with (Y/n) in Paris shortly after I lost my father to Fate. That was the worst week of my life but (Y/n) was there for me and helped me get through it. Where am I when he's going through a similar pain? Separated from him, it doesn't feel right.
M'gann: "Got it! He left the embassy in a helicopter. They were headed south east, out into the desert."
Raquel: "What's out there?"
M'gann: "The ambassador's assistant didn't know but he watched someone fitting (Y/n)'s description board the helicopter and fly away."
Artemis: "Well that's the best lead we've got. Southeast it is."
After what felt like several hours of flying I asked what time it was. Artemis grumbled out a response and it turned out it had only been an hour.
Tula: "What are we looking for?"
M'gann: "We'll know when we see it I guess."
Artemis: "Wait! We have incoming!"
Two F-35 fighter jets appeared on the long range scanner of the bio-ship. Closing fast and heading right for us.
M'gann: "We're still in stealth mode just pull up and get above them."
Artemis did as she was told and just as we did the radio began to screech to life. I could barely make out a voice as whoever was sending the signal was bouncing between frequencies in an attempt to find ours.
Raquel: "Wait, those markings! On the jets!"
I looked at the main screen and saw the bio-ship had identified the jets as U.S Airforce aircraft.
Zatanna: "They've got our frequency."
Pilot: "Attention unidentified aircraft. You are entering restricted airspace. Change course immediately and exit the area."
M'gann: "They shouldn't be able to see us!"
The jets screamed past us and formed up behind the bio-ship.
Artemis: "They must have found us using their radar! Hold on, I'm going to try and lose them."
Just as Artemis was about to jolt the ship down (Y/n)'s voice crackled through on the radio and my heart skipped a beat.
(Y/n): "Hello, who's there?"
Zatanna: "(Y/n)?!"
(Y/n): "Zee! De-camouflage the bio-ship and the jets will escort you guys to me."
The transmission ended and we did as instructed. We soon found (Y/n) standing alone on a desert hill. We landed to pick him up and the jets flew off out of sight.
He basically ran up the ramp and almost tackled me. I returned the embrace instantly and pulled him up the ramp into the bio-ship.
(Y/n): "I missed you so much!"
Artemis: "What's with the jets?"
(Y/n): "Joint military operations. You were flying into a live fire zone."
Zatanna: "What are you doing here?"
(Y/n) POV:
(Y/n): "Observation. Seeing how our agents perform in the desert environment."
I hate lying but the fewer people that know about the Fridge the better. I was flown out here and barely had enough time to get out of the helicopter before they showed up. I'll tell Zatanna about the Fridge later, when we're alone.
Tula: "How'd you get out here? I don't see any vehicles."
(Y/n): "I was dropped off. My helicopter, which had a few generals in it, offered to drop me here so I could go back with you guys."
Zatanna: "Why didn't you text! Or call or anything! You said you were going to Washington for the week! How did you get to Morocco?!"
The other girls left Zatanna and I in the back as the joy on Zatanna's face was replaced with a mix of anger and frustration.
Once the door shut and Zatanna and I were alone I spoke out calmly and quietly.
(Y/n): "Zee. I didn't tell the others this because I don't want very many people knowing about it but... I trust you and Artemis a lot. I'll tell Artemis when I get a chance but the real reason I'm in the desert is... the SHD has a massive R&D base here. They build experimental tech and use alien tech to make extremely powerful weapons."
Zatanna's eyes slowly widened as she connected the dots.
Zatanna: "Is that what Waller..."
(Y/n): "Yeah she tried to get as much information from me as she could. I stupidly gave up more than I should have and that's why I haven't texted or called. Waller's been intercepting the Divisions comms, I didn't want any conversation we would have to be listened to. I'm sorry for not finding a way to tell you."
Zatanna hugged me and kissed my cheek.
Zatanna: "It's perfectly fine. I'm sorry for yelling. Let's go sit with the others."
We entered the main area of the bio-ship and greeted the girls with smiles.
(Y/n): "Thanks for picking me up."
M'gann: "Hey it's no problem."
Artemis: "We all got worried."
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I went back to my room after talking with the team. I had dinner after I showered and spent the evening watching tv. It's late and I'm incredibly tired. I guess being out in the desert heat does that to you.
I pressed my hand against the scanner and the automatic door closed behind me. I took off my t-shirt and was about to climb into bed. I was tackled to my bed. I can hear Zatanna giggling as she pinned me on my bed. I didn't fight back and let her flip me over, Zatanna pounced on top of me and held my arms above my head.
Zatanna: "What should I do with you?"
(Y/n): "Thank you, Zatanna."
Zatanna: "Umm, for what?"
(Y/n): "For everything. For being there for me and comforting me after Kelso's death. For asking me to take time and grieve, even though I didn't. I think it's finally hitting me that she's gone and I'll never see her again. Every time I sleep I see the same image, her body dead at my feet."
Zatanna got off me and I can see tears beginning to form in her eyes. At the same time I can feel my own beginning to water, this is the first time I've talked about it since the funeral. I've pushed it as far back in my mind as possible because it hurts too much to think about.
Zatanna: "Let me hold you..."
I laid down into Zatanna's arms and rested my head on her chest. She wrapped her arms around me and held me in a warm embrace as we laid on my bed.
(Y/n): "I-I never got t-to say...g-goodbye."
Zatanna: "I-it's ok. Let it out... I'm here for you. You can fall apart, I'll keep you together."
I finally shattered in Zatanna's arms. She held me as tight as she could and kept me together. She's going to be how I get through this.