"I hate you." I glared at the tall man who gave me an awkward smile, slowly wiping his soaked hands on his dirty white shirt.
"It's just a bit." He shrugged and I widened my eyes at the audacity to say that after he messed up the kitchen island after I just cleaned the area.
"You look like Carrie," I spat out, grabbing a clean cloth as I dashed it in his direction. "Clean it up." I snapped, eyeing the messy footprints he treaded inside with him.
"You don't even wanna know?" He asked and I rolled my eyes, as if I'm not used to this.
"No," I shook my head, leaning against the counter as I watched him clean up his mess, slowly but he was doing it. "Ajax, a little faster." I narrowed my eyes. "Don't act like a rookie." I sighed as I shook my head at the mess behind him. "And how many did you kill, Jesus." I muttered and he pursed his lips.
"About that." He grabbed the hem of his shirt before lifting it, a gash on the side of his torso oozing with his warm blood, trickling down his tan skin and I moved forwards instantly.
"Idiota!" I flicked his forehead and he winced. This is why he's moving so slow and the blood on his shirt is mainly his. "Go in the bathroom and take off your shirt, I'll get the first aid kit." I shook my head at why he didn't bother telling me before.
He didn't say a word, nodding as he headed out the kitchen and me on the way to find the kit.
"Man child." I muttered as I now entered the bathroom to see him sitting on the counter, his shirt off as the blood trickled down the pits of his abs, splotches of blood on his skin, tinting the tattoos on his body.
"I'm--" He yawned. "--so tired." He muttered as he rested his head back on the mirror, his adam's apple prominent as he rubbed his stubbled jaw.
"Don't close your eyes." I told him sharply, grabbing the necessary equipment.
Ajax took this well, a wince leaving his mouth here and there, other than that he was pretty calm, even when I stitched him up.
"Now that that's done," I looked up at his drained and tired face. "Lemme clean that cut up." I pointed at his eyebrow, now that's definitely gonna scar but it'll look cool, so there's that.
"You have a very gentle hand."
"Thank you." I whispered as I focused more on cleaning up his wound.
"I appreciate it, Amara," He whispered back, his eyes closed as he swung his dangling legs about like a child.
I smiled softly, not saying anything as I carried on.
It was pure silence until I felt a cold chill sliver up my spine. Fuck.
"What are you doing here?" Luis's cold voice filled the comfortable room, now suddenly I don't wanna be here.
However, with Ajax's presence, it's not half as bad.
"To inform you the deal with whatever-their-name-is went wrong," Ajax told him, his eyes still closed and composed. "Motherfuckers got me good." He muttered and I guess Luis can see that.
"And Amara was the only one to clean you up?" His voice reeked with jealousy so evidently, it was pretty suffocating in his tone.
"I offered," I interrupted. "I can do this in my sleep." Poor Ajax, Luis could be a little nice to him. "Anyway, we're done here." I moved back, my eyes glancing at Luis through the mirror and I clenched my jaw; his body so casually leaned against the door frame, both hands in his trouser pocket as his suit jacket slung on one of his arms.
I noticed the redness in his eyes, tiredness so obvious in them, his hair not gelled anymore but a wavy mess -- that he seemed to pull off -- and his eyes on me. Not in the usual intimidating way he looks at me but soft.
His eyes didn't creep me out for the first time, he genuinely looked overworked and tired.
"Have you ate?" I asked him with pure intentions, his eyes soft -- unlike always -- a small shake of his head as he told me no. "I'll make you something, give me a minute." I told him as I washed my hands.
"It's fine." He muttered and I rolled my eyes, in preparations to ignore him completely.
"Mr Luis," Ajax now sat upright, me glancing at him. "We were ambushed... it wasn't the petty gang you had business with..." I froze, side-eyeing Ajax with doubts about who it is.
I felt the cold glare that Luis burned in the back of my head, Ajax making swift eye contact with me.
"Who was it?" Luis asked and even I want to know.
Who had the daring to ambush Luis's men? Now that is unheard of because I can only think of one group of people to do this -- my family.
Ajax looked at me again, his eyes holding this unfamiliar gaze and all I could think of was Lorenzo. I didn't mean to but my gaze was begging Ajax to shut his mouth, to not say anything.
"Just a group of thugs, I guess," He shrugged before groaning, holding his torso. "Caught me off guard." I felt a relief in my chest, resting my hand on his knee as I gave it a soft pat.
"You should rest," I told him. "I'm not letting you drive home in this condition, you can have my room." I smiled at him.
I know it's technically mine and Luis's room but he barely sleeps there whereas I do. So, my room, my rules.
"Really?" Luis sneered, folding his arms and I rolled my eyes.
"Luis," I said with a hint of a warning in my tone. "We can stay in the other room tonight," I made sure to say 'we', his brow raising as he picked up on it as I had wished. "Considering that's where you sleep most the time, that shouldn't be a problem for you." I lightly taunted but honestly I'm so glad I don't have to deal with him every night.
Though I have realised the reason he sleeps in that room is when he works till late night, so he doesn't want to disturb me knowing how horrible my sleeping pattern is. Thoughtful.
"Okay." And that's all he said as Ajax lifted a brow in surprise, looking at me with doubt and was quick to remove that express before Luis saw.
"You should go clean up." I tapped Ajax's knee, cleaning up the blood in here before I washed my hands throughly.
"That I will do." Ajax nodded as he groaned when he shifted, leaving to go upstairs.
I was done cooking for Luis, him entering the kitchen at perfect timing; all freshened up and showered for the second time today. His wet, wavy hair over his forehead, his upper half missing a shirt as he only walked in with a pair of black shorts that ended mid-thigh.
His thighs tatted and so were his arms, his chest had a tattoo in the centre of it and these are beautiful tattoos on such an ugly man — I don't mean his physical looks.
"Hey." I gave him a soft smile, obviously forced but I acted like I meant it.
"Hey." He spoke in a gentle and low voice, standing behind me as the smell of his fresh sea scent of his body wash wafted around us; a hint of violet and sea salt, it smelt refreshing.
"Here, I'll grab you a water." I handed him his plate before I headed to the fridge.
When I was done, I noticed he was still stood there, his plate on the counter now as I took my chance to show him fake affection.
"What's wrong?" I slipped into the gap between him and the counter, looking up at him through my lashes. "Are you tired?" I asked him, my hands now trailing up to his freshly shaven face, cupping his cheeks as I caressed them with my thumbs.
I felt his body freeze, staring down at me with an unfamiliar look like he didn't know how to respond to that.
The look in Luis' eyes... I'm going to wreck this man.
So confused yet he still lightly held onto my hand, burrowing his face deeper into my hands.
"Stressed and tired." He muttered with a sigh, closing his eyes.
The change in him was so sudden when he stepped back, his eyes glossy red as he clenched his jaw.
"I can't get it out my mind," He muttered but mainly to himself — I think. "Who could it be?" He now looked at me. "Who would attack my men? Never has this happened in so many years..." His voice was low and deadly and I've seen this demeanour before and the consequences are never good.
"Maybe it was like what Ajax said." I tried telling him otherwise but he's a clever man, he knows there's low possibilities of it being some petty gang.
"No." I could see the veins stressed on his neck and face. "Fuck." He whispered and now I could see the raging violence creep onto his face, taking a step back but it was too late.
It's like he has no control over himself, getting angry — even a little — triggers this violence inside him. I gasped in pain and in shock too when the plate I had handed to him, he smashed it.
So hard that a small glass of it flew over to me, skimming the white part of my eye as I felt the burning pain tear my eye.
I felt the panic in my chest for a good few seconds then calmed down after realising it's not my pupil.
I held my hand over my eye, groaning as I stepped back, the room quiet as ever.
I rushed over to the sink, my eye burning with pain as I turned the tap on. "Fuck." I muttered as the cold water now ran over my cupped hands, bringing it up to my eye where I attempted to cool it down.
"Fuck!" Luis now realised what he had done. "Amara, I'm so sorry." He was behind me, pulling me back but I resisted.
I don't know how much longer I can put up with this.
It's tough... pretending to be so in love with a man who scares me, who hurts me without the intention of doing so. His intentions are of falling in love but how can he behave this way? I need to escape, I'm struggling to stay sane here.
I couldn't for long as he pulled me back so suddenly, cupping my entire face in his large hands as he scanned my eye.
"Oh no." He muttered, suddenly my body now engulfed in his.
His warm skin trying to comfort me but I felt far from that. I felt disgusted by his touch, his fingers burning my skin as he now pulled away, feeling relief for a split second.
"Open your eye." I snatched my face away from his grip, instantly turning the tap on again, to let the cold water cool down the burning sensation in my eye.
Fuck, this stings.
"Amara—"
"Give me a minute!" I snapped so quickly and so harshly, not hearing his voice after that but I did feel his large hand caressing my back.
"I didn't mean to," He muttered. "I just got so angry." I sighed as he spoke, my eye not burning as much now, moving back and away from the sink.
"It's fine, Luis." My words were sharp, a sigh leaving my mouth as I turned away to only stop, seeing Ajax standing at the entrance of the kitchen, his mouth slightly open as he watched the scene created by Luis.
He held a look of confusion, shock, unreadable at a point and I didn't react.
"Amara, let me see." Luis spun me around so easily, his hand moving my hand away from my eye, still stinging but not as bad. "Fuck." He muttered.
"Move, Luis." I muttered, moving his hand away as I rushed out the kitchen, going past Ajax like nothing even happened.
I rushed over to the toilets downstairs, leaving the door open -- not on purpose, I was just in a rush -- looking at myself in the mirror to see a cut in the white part of my eye.
I clenched my jaw as I saw half of my eye covered in blood, holy shit I look scary.
"Don't touch your eye," It's Ajax at the door, standing there as he examined my eye through my reflection. "You'll make it worse, just lie down and sleep, rest your eye." That's all I've been doing for almost eight months -- lying down and sleeping.
"I'll be alright, nothing I haven't dealt with before." I have had multiple injuries near my eye; bruising, swollen eyes, etcetera. "You should be the one resting, did you need something?" I asked him, wiping my wet face.
"Amara..." He sighed, rubbing his temples. "No, just go lie down or something, please." He frowned, looking down at -- my eye to be specific.
"I will if you will, you've been badly injured... go rest." I smiled up at him and he shook his head at me.
"Come on then."
He walked up with me, waiting at the door as I walked into the spare room or Luis's room, must I say. He crossed his arms, both his hands underneath his armpits as both thumbs stood out.
"Goodnight, let me know if you need anything." He winced a little at the pain from the gash and I nodded.
"You let me know if you need anything, smartass." I rolled my eyes and he smiled softly. "Goodnight, though." I told him and he gave me a nod, moving away slowly as I shut the door.
The scent of Luis filled the room, his suffocating cologne making me light headed for a second. I clenched my jaw as I scanned the the unmade room; the cotton sheets a mess, his clothes left in a pile.
This is weird.
He's usual neat — controlling. Why is his room such a mess?
I got to it immediately, not being able to stand such a messy room. It didn't take me long, maybe ten minutes as I now laid down on the bed to only regret it.
It smells like him... so much. His fresh body wash, the dark cologne. It's too much for me.
I closed my eyes, feeling the churning of guilt and regret in my stomach, my mouth going dry.
I thought about Lorenzo, in attempts to calm me down, the reason for my sanity, but I couldn't calm down. I only felt guilty.
It's my plan to make him trust me, to fall in love with me just so I can I fuck him over. It's the technique I have been taught but I've never regretted it so. I never meant for it to get this far, to get so physical.
I'm disgusted in myself.
In him.
As if how I felt wasn't enough, here he comes, the door cracking open as pins of distaste pricked up my legs, an anxious feeling agitating my stomach.
He didn't say anything nor do anything; awkwardly standing there as the light from outside peaked into the room.
He turned the lights off outside, now left with just the darkness and him.
I felt suffocated, the room growing smaller and smaller the closer he got.
He still hasn't said anything, only sneaking under the thin duvet as he left a gap between us before lying down.
It was silent, I could feel the awkwardness on his behalf; his shaky and heavy breathing was off-putting.
"Luis?" I muttered, pretending to care.
He didn't say anything but I could feel his eyes on me as he shifted his head in my direction.
"Come here." I told him, raising my arm so he could cuddle and so he did.
Shuffling closer, his head resting in the nook of my neck, his arm around me as I intertwined our hands to which he froze. Curled up around me, my warm body against his cold one, his fast beating heart on my back, his unsteady breathing blowing on my shoulder.
"Goodnight." I spoke quietly, tucking into him with a few inches between us still.
"Goodnight." He muttered, his voice still low.
I don't know what's wrong with me but I feel sick. Legitimately sick. Like I could throw up. I can feel the contents in my stomach rising up to my throat because of Luis.
I feel disgusted by him.
I tried my best to keep it down, taking in a deep breath and steadying my breathing seemed to work.
"Are you okay?" He muttered and I nodded slowly, blinking rapidly to clear my eyes of the burning tears that came from the pressure of holding it down.
"Yeah."
"I forgot to tell you..." His voice was still pretty low. "We leave for Mexico in the next few days, we won't be gone long." Thank God.
I felt relieved, the sickening feeling all of a sudden washing away but there's still a problem. There's always a problem.
Finding the Torres is gonna be real problem.