Listen to: "Paradise" by BTS
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"You were just planning to take a job in New York and not even mention it to us? Why? Eleanor, this job starts in like 2 months!" He continues shouting and I'm frozen. I can't say anything. I don't blame him and I'm not upset at his response; he has every right to react this way. This looks bad, I know it does but I can't move and I can't speak and I just want to tell him that he's wrong but I physically can't move. I hear the door burst open and Seokjin and Yoongi step inside.
"What the hell is going on? Why are you raising your voice at her?" I hear Seokjin ask him defensively.
"Ask her!" Taehyung continues to shout.
"Lower your voice, Taehyung" Yoongi warns him sternly. He turns to look at me. "El-Ah, what's going on? Why is Taehyung upset?" He asks me softly. I can feel Seokjin tense behind me. His hand on my back as he looks at Tae.
"I—" I start out. I look up to see Taehyung has handed the paper to Yoongi and I see his eyes scanning the sheet.
"Eleanor, what is this?" Yoongi asks me softly. I clear my throat, take a deep breath and turn to face him.
"While I was in LA, I met with Peter, my agent. He told me that Columbia Records had reached out and was interested in me. Then he showed me this," I say as I motion to the page that he's now passed to Seokjin. "And he told me that they were offering me a full time Creative Director position at their label," I tell them. "The job is based out of New York City," I continue. I look up to Yoongi and can see the anger in his eyes. "I told him I was grateful for the offer but I declined it on the spot. That's why I didn't tell you guys. I didn't see a point if I'm not taking it," I finish. They all turn their heads to look at me.
"Wait, you declined it?" Taehyung says. It's apparent that he's genuinely shocked.
"Maybe if you hadn't overreacted, she could have explained that to you Taehyung-ssi," Seokjin chastises him.
"No, it's fine," I tell him. "He had a right to react the way he did. I should have told you guys about the offer but I didn't want anyone to freak out about something that I had already decided not to do. I guess it's too late for that," I say as I look down.
"Eleanor, you turned it down?" Yoongi asks me.
"Of course I did," I say as I look at him confused. "Why would I even consider a job that would take me across the world from you?" I ask.
"Are you—? What are you thinking? Eleanor, call him right now and accept it. You can't do this. We can't do this to you. We can't allow her to do this," Yoongi continues as he looks at Jin, his voice getting louder and more erratic with each passing moment.
"What? Stop. I'm not taking the job. It's in New York City Yoongi-ah. Don't you get it? I'd have to leave. I'd have to move to New York. I'd leave Seoul. I'd leave you," I tell him as my voice cracks with fright at what he's asking of me.
"You can't turn down this job. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you and I can't just watch you throw it away," he continues and my heart is literally breaking. Does he not care that I'd be leaving him? That our relationship would be over?
"YOU are my lifetime opportunity, don't you get that? I can't throw US away," I say softly to him as I beg myself to keep it together.
"You're being irrational," he spits out.
"Yoongi-ah. That's enough," Seokjin interjects. "Eleanor, we just want you to be sure. This is big; it's your dream job," he adds.
"That's why I overreacted. I didn't think she could possibly turn this down. There's no way," Taehyung interjects.
"I don't care, I'm not taking it. That's it. End of story," I say to them.
"Don't do that. We've talked about this. Don't shut us out," Seokjin says.
"You two talk; I need some air," Yoongi says as he turns around to walk away. He looks over at Taehyung and they both leave my room, closing the door behind them.
"Come sit with me," he says as he walks to the bed and sits on the edge. I walk his way and sit down next to him. He turns his body to face me and grabs my hands.
"You can't try to convince me to take this job. I'm not taking it," I tell him. I see him exhale loudly.
"I'm not going to try and convince to take it, baby. I just want to talk about it and understand why you wouldn't take it. Eleanor, we've had so many conversations where you've told me that a CD position is the ultimate goal for you in your career," he says to me.
"Seokjin-ah, how could I possibly take this job? Yes, the job is amazing and yes, it would be such an incredible opportunity but why would I want that when I have everything I've ever wanted right here?" I say as I look at him. I see his eyes soften and his shoulders drop. I feel tears pooling in the corners of my eyes.
"How can I let you give up what you've dreamed of your whole life, for us? I can't do it. I can't hold you back like that," he says to me. I put my finger under his chin and pull him up to have him look at me.
"Jin-ah," I whisper as I bring my hands to his nape and lean my forehead against his. "you are what I've dreamed of my whole life. You are greater and more important than any job, anything else in the world. You, Kim Seokjin, are everything I've ever dreamed of; you're my family, my lover, my partner, my end game. You're it, baby" I tell him. His eyes are closed tightly and I feel him breathing deeply.
"Please, kiss me," I tell him. He presses his lips against mine and kisses me gently. I pull away once I feel like I'm out of breath and I have no choice but to separate from him.
"I love you so much," he finally says to me.
"I love you," I tell him.
"I just want you to be sure that you won't regret it later on," he tells me.
"The only thing I would ever regret is not spending every single day of the rest of my life with you," I say to him. My heart aches thinking of Yoongi and how upset he is but to be honest, I'm hurt. He's hurt me. How could he so easily just throw us away?
"As long as you're sure," he responds as he pushes my hair behind my ear.
"Do you want me to leave?" I ask him, his encouragement making me question his motives. Maybe he feels the same was as Yoongi does.
"No!" He shouts. "I'd just— I can't imagine my life without you. But I don't want to be selfish and keep you here. I don't want you to feel like you're giving up all of your dreams for us," he says with a small pout.
"Never," I say to him. I lean forward and hug him tightly. After a few moments, I pull away from him.
"I should talk to Taehyung," I say. He nods his head, kisses me quickly and tells me he will see me in the morning. He walks out the door and I get up to go get changed into sleeping clothes and remove my makeup. Once I've finished, I walk out to see the lights in my room have been dimmed and Tae is tucked under the covers, sitting with his back against his headboard. He taps the mattress next to him, asking me to join him. I walk over and climb into bed and sit next to him.
"I'm sorry I raised my voice at you," he tells me. "I should have asked you about it before instead of assuming. I'm sorry," He says.
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about it," I say to him. "I should have been honest with you guys about the offer. You had every right to react the way you did," I respond.
He looks at me and pulls me in to lay on his chest and he kisses the top of my head.
"Did you really just assume I'd take the job and leave you?" I ask him. I feel him tense beneath me.
"I just didn't know how you could turn down this job. It's an amazing offer," he tells me.
"You want to know what's better than that job?" I ask. He looks at me with furrowed brows. "You," I tell him. He hugs me tighter.
"I love you, Angel. I just want you to be happy. I want you to have everything you deserve," he continues.
"I am happy. I'm so happy; here with you. I have everything I could ever want or need here," I tell him as I kiss his neck softly. I turn to my phone on the side table and turn on my sleeping playlist, click off the lamp and go back to snuggle in close to him. He wraps his arms around me and I feel his fingers twirling in my hair and singing along to the song.
"멈춰서도 괜찮아
It's okay to pause
아무 이유도 모르는 채 달릴 필요 없어
There's no need to run without knowing the reason
꿈이 없어도 괜찮아
It's okay not to have a dream
잠시 행복을 느낄 네 순간들이 있다면
as long as there are your moments to briefly feel happiness
멈춰서도 괜찮아
It's okay to pause
이젠 목적도 모르는 채 달리지 않아
We now don't run without knowing the purpose
꿈이 없어도 괜찮아
It's okay not to have a dream
네가 내뱉는 모든 호흡은 이미 낙원에
Every breath you exhale is already in the paradise"
I close my eyes and fall asleep to the voice of one of the men I love, knowing damn well that there isn't a dream in the world that could ever mean more than this very moment but my heart is breaking knowing that Yoongi is out there somewhere, wishing I'd just go.
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I'm sitting at the kitchen table with my leg shaking and my hands in a death grip on my Americano cup. I look down at my outfit and contemplate changing again. I'm a wreck. Not only this whole thing with meeting Seokjin's parents but I still haven't resolved anything with Yoongi.
That's the thing with Yoongi and I, when we love, we love hard; sex is deep and passionate, every thing about our relationship is intense. But when we fight, we fight hard as well. We are both stubborn, both strong willed and don't cave easily. But I don't like fighting with him; I just want to hold him and tell him I love him and I won't leave him. I sigh deeply. I feel my phone vibrating and see it's my mother calling again. I ignore the call; there is only so much anxiety one can take in a day.
"Why are you so nervous?" I hear Jin say behind me as he places his hands on my shoulders. Everyone else is asleep. We're meeting them later on today so they get to sleep in.
"I'm meeting my boyfriend's parents, it's kind of scary," I tell him. He laughs at me as he takes a drink from his coffee.
"You ready?" He asks me. I stand up, grab my bag from on the table and turn to him.
"Yeah. Let's go," I say to him. He reaches down to grab my bag and he leads us out to his car.
The drive goes quickly and before I can even calm myself down, we've reached Jin's family's house. He reaches over the center console and runs his fingers through my hair.
"Don't be nervous. They're excited to meet you. My brother and his girlfriend will be here too so it won't be just you they're focused on. They'll ask questions but I'm sure they'll be similar to the ones you answered for Taehyungie's parents. The difference is, you don't need to convince them of anything, they're already okay with us," he reassures me.
I lean in and press my lips to his. I never do well when i'm around him; he tests my self-control constantly. No one has ever been as protective toward me as he is; always watching for me, taking care of me and making sure I'm always okay. I appreciate him more than he knows. Maybe these are just my unresolved Daddy issues, who knows?
"You're the best boyfriend, ever" I tell him as I continue to kiss him.
"And you," he says as he softly bites down on my lip and a moan tumbles out of my mouth, "are the love of my life," he finishes. "Now, let's go so I can show off my beautiful and talented girlfriend off to my family," he says with a smile.
He gets out of the car and walks around to open the door for me. I grab the bouquet of flowers and the large bag where I have the gift for his Eomma and his brother's girlfriend and the bottles of scotch for his Apa and his brother. He grabs my other hand and starts walking us to the large house. I know that his family is well off; they have a long-standing family business and are all business owners. That reminded me to thank Seokjin's brother for allowing us to use his restaurant to meet Taehyung's parents.
Seokjin walks in and doesn't even bother to knock. We hear the stream of voices coming from the other room. We take off our shoes and step into some house slippers that have been set out and he leads us to the dining room area. We walk in and they turn to greet us and the smile on his parent's faces are enough to make all of this worthwhile.
They walk toward us and I bow at each of them and Jin introduces me. He tell's them my name and says that I'm his girlfriend and then he turns to me and introduces me to his Eomma, Apa, his brother Seokjoong, and his brother's girlfriend Ahreum. I bow at each of them and hand them each their gift from me and they all greet me with huge smiles on their faces and are so kind to me. His Eomma immediately asks if I'd like coffee and I graciously accept. We are having an early lunch with them and the table has already been set up and everything looks delicious. We all gather around the table and begin to sit down.
We wait until his parents start eating and then we all begin to eat. The food is so delicious. We have some small talk and Seokjoong-ssi tells us about how busy the restaurant has been. He and Ahreum are very sweet; he cares for her greatly and they seem to have a very good relationship. Seokjin on the other hand has his hand on my thigh with his fingers sitting dangerously high in between my legs. I would have expected this from anyone else, but NOT Seokjin. We are seated pretty spread out along the large table but I'm still on edge. I reach my hand down and grasp his to pull it down a little bit. He turns his face to me and smiles and winks.
His Apa finishes speaking to Seokjoong-ssi and turns to face Seokjin. He asks him about how the new house is and how we are adjusting. Jin tells them that the move went well and we are enjoying the house and the amount of space we have now. He turns to me and asks me about how I'm liking the house. I tell him that I love it and it really has everything we need; individually and as a unit. His brother turns to me and asks me about my job and Seokjin takes it upon himself to brag. He tells them that I have contracts not only with Big Hit but with JYP and SM Entertainment. Everyone smiles and congratulates me on my accomplishments. I smile at each of them and thank them for their kind words. His mom looks at me and asks me if it's hard living with the 7 men.
I explain to her that sometimes it can be a little challenging because everyone is so different in regards to how they like to live but we all have adjusted well and now, living together is easy and fluid. She asks me if it's hard with their demanding schedules and getting to spend time together. I tell her that it is and it's definitely something I've had to adjust to but my jobs tends to also keep me just as busy so when we do have time together, we try and make the best of it. Seokjin adds that whenever they have an off day, they do their best to make sure we can spend it together, like today.
Seokjoong-ssi is the first to break out the tough and more serious topics. He asks how we plan on this to work in the future as far as marriage and families. Jin looks over at me, as if he's asking for permission to speak for us and I nod and smile at him. He tells them that this is something we've all talked about and have come up with a plan that works for everyone. He expresses that while marriage used to be something he always prioritized, he's found that now, it isn't something that he feels like he needs. He tells them that just knowing that we are committed to each other for the rest of our lives is enough for him. When we decide to formalize that commitment, he will propose and we will have a ceremony but legal paperwork and certificates won't be necessary. As far as family, we will have a child together, that is certain and we've agreed to all live together for as long as the relationships last; which we all hope is for the rest of our lives.
Jin's Apa looks toward us and apologizes in advance and his ears turn red (I can see where Seokjin get's it) but he's curious as to how it will work or what we have planned as far as securing and taking care of ourselves and our assets. He's so kind; while his wording is aimed toward us both, I know that he's asking specifically for Seokjin's sake. I can feel Jin tense a little with my hand in his lap. He tells his Apa that if we do legally get married, he will cross that bridge when he gets there but asking for a prenuptial agreement isn't something that he feels compelled to do. He explains that I have never once asked for or depended on any of the members for money and that my job pays me very well and I am successful in my own merit. He tells them that I own part of the house we currently live in and have my own financial investments. We are both very financially responsible and are not worried at all about how it will work out.
After conversing for a little while longer, Mr. Kim excuses himself and asks his sons to join him in his office for a conversation about business. Jin looks at me and I nod and smile at him, letting him know that I'll be fine. He squeezes my leg and they all stand, bow and excuse themselves from the table. Seokjin's Eomma stands and asks Ahreum and I to join her in the garden for a walk through their grounds. We stand and follow her. After getting our shoes, we step outside to the back side of the house and my jaw drops at the beauty. It's beautiful; the trees that surround the walkways are bare now but it doesn't take away from the beauty. It's easy to see that colder days are upon us, the fall air dissipating and the colder, winter front sneaking in. We walk along the path as Ahreum talks about her studies and how life has been going for her. It's easy to see that Jin's Eomma loves her; as she and Seokjoong-ssi have been together for years and are planning their wedding very soon.
After Ahreum updates us on her life, Jin's Eomma turns toward me and asks me if Seokjin has been a good partner to me. I smile at her and tell her he is incredible and that he is always makes sure I'm being taken care of. Ahreum asks about my job and working with other idols. She shyly tells me she read about me online (when she just thought I worked for BigHit and nothing more) and saw some articles that said I was dating several other idols. I tell them that working with idols hasn't impacted our relationships at all. They trust me and I don't have an interest in anyone but them. As far as the articles about the other idols, I tell them that anytime I'm seen with anyone, the media just assumes I'm dating them and I've become accustomed to it now. They both tell me how much respect they have for me, dealing with so much while keeping a very busy job on top of our relationship. I just smile and tell them that I'm the lucky one and that Seokjin makes everything worth while.
We spend the next few hours just talking; getting to know each other, eating desserts and catching up. We talk about Seokjoong and Ahreum's wedding and they tell me they would love it if I could join them. Jin and I look at each other and my heart breaks knowing that while I'd love to be there and to be a part of the family, it's just not possible; we don't burst their bubble right now though, and I decide to wait until later to mention it to them. Ahreum and Jin's Eomma invite me to go wedding dress shopping with them at a very private boutique next week with them and Ahreum's Eomma and her sister. I thank them and tell them that I'll have a look at my schedule and let them know but I would love to join them. I love seeing Jin with his family; it's obvious how much he loves them and how much they mean to him.
The sun begins to set and Jin looks over at me, motioning that it's time for us to go. He stands up and starts to say his goodbye to his family. We all exchange our farewells and I tell Ahreum that I'll text her to get together soon. I bow at Mr. and Mrs. Kim and thank them for their kindness and willingness to get to know me. Mrs. Kim tells me that she's just happy to know and see that her son is happy and in love and she thanks me to caring for him well. Mr. Kim tells me it was a pleasure to meet me and that he hopes he can see more of us soon. We grab our things and head back to Seokjin's car to head to whatever my surprise is for the rest of the night.
We get into the car and I let out a big, deep, breath and I hear Jin let out his loud laugh as he throws his head back on the headrest and his hand finds mine on the center console. I turn to look at him and he rolls his head over to look at me.
"We did it," he says to me as he squeezes my hand. I smile at him and my whole body is flooded with love for this man.
"We did it," I confirm. His eyes soften as he looks at me and I get butterflies in my stomach. "I can't wait until the whole world knows that you're mine," he says softly.
I know that that won't happen for a long time, as long as their careers keep on the path they're on now. Their English single has blown up and their world wide standing only continues to rise as the Western market has finally acknowledged their talent. They've always been well loved and accepted; their last tour sold out within minutes and their fan base is massive. But now, since the pandemic and everything, when they thought it would slow them down, they've only gained more fame; they're global. Everyone knows who they are and things are only going to get harder from here. We are only a few weeks from the release of the album and I know, I just know that our lives are going to change very soon. I already see them so little, I can only imagine how strained things will be when they start album promotions and shows and working on more music. Honestly, I'm fucking terrified.
So, hearing him admit that he longs for the day that we can go out in public without worrying about being seen, knowing that we need to lock it in even tighter now with the way they will be in the public eye soon, is breaking my heart. I look at him and all I want right now is to be close to him; to touch him, to feel him, to love him and tell him that no matter what, I'll be here; I'll wait. Nothing could ever make me not want to be with him.
"How much time do we have?" I ask him and I am certain that he knows why I'm asking.
"We need to meet the others in an hour and 15 minutes," he tells me.
"And how far are we from the location?" I continue as my fingers intertwine with his.
"25 minutes," he says. That's more than enough time.
"Drive," I tell him. He puts the car in reverse and instantly knows what I'm wanting.
There's an unspoken language with us; it's been there from the beginning, even when we weren't in a relationship. He just always knew what was I was thinking; he reads me like his favorite book, knows every line and every story. There never has to be words exchanged between us, he always knows exactly what I want and need. Like right now for example, his left hand is gripping the absolute shit out of the steering wheel while his other hand is tight around my upper thigh, digging his fingers into my skin. I look over at him and I want to drink him up. His skin is flushed; pink cheeks and ears, his lips are swollen and I can see the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes slightly harder than normal. I get a shiver through my whole body as I take him in; so turned on by just his visuals.
He gets off the main road and I see him veering through some quiet streets until he finally pulls into an empty random parking lot. There's nothing even remotely near us so I feel safe. We are facing the sunset and the warm light in pouring into the car. He puts the car in park but leaves it running; now that the sun is starting to set, it is going to get cold. He takes his seatbelt off and removes his hand from my leg as he unclicks mine as well,
His hand comes to land on my jaw and he pulls me in and slams his lips against mine hungrily. His tongue licks my bottom lip and runs in between, begging me to let him in. I open my mouth and can taste the sweetness from the honey on his lips from the Yakgwa he had for dessert. I feel him smile as my fingers go in his hair and I'm panting, needing to be closer to him. He pulls away from me and I whine at the loss of contact. He gets out of the car and opens the door to the backseat and climbs in. He sits in the middle, and starts undoing his pants. I'm at a loss for words as I watch him; his eyes are dark and the way the sunlight is hitting his golden skin is unreal. He looks like a god. I drag my eyes down to see that he's pulled his pants and underwear down to his knees and he's slowly working himself in his hand. Thank god for the government grade tint on these windows because the thought of anyone else seeing him like this makes my blood boil with jealousy.
"Oh my fuck," I let out as I watch him bite down on his bottom lip.
"Are you going to come sit on my lap baby girl?" He asks me and I feel myself clench at his words. I take my jacket off and climb over the console and get in front of him. I unbutton my jeans, pull them down and take them completely off. He watches me pull my black panties down next and I hear him let out a groan as he starts pumping himself even harder. I smile at him, loving that I have this effect on him.
"Come here," he moans out as his whole body jerks, his back arches off the seat and I can tell he's ready. "Come make me feel good, yeah?" He finishes and I lean forward and kiss him deeply, my tongue licking between his lips. I place my knees on the seat on either side of his thighs as he squeezes his legs together tightly. I hold myself above him and reach my hand down to take him. He hisses as my hand starts to jerk him. I stop and hold him right below me and without warning, I sink myself down his entire length, moaning out lewdly as I feel him fill me up completely.
This car is small so there's not much room for movement but it's fine. I start to roll my hips into him, feeling him against my walls as his length runs in and out of me. I'm bracing myself on the headrests of the seats on either side of us, giving me the ability to move my lower body freely. His hands are running up and down my thighs as his head is rolled back in pleasure, soft whines leave his mouth in the most sensual way possible. I can feel myself tighten around him, arousal dripping in my core.
"Fuck, so good baby," he mumbles out. I move faster, the friction making my whole body tremble with desire. He starts bucking his hips up into me as he leans forward and buries his nose into the crook of my neck, his arms wrapping around me to hold me as close to him as possible as he slams into me. I'm right on the brink of my climax and I hear his breath hitch against my skin and I know he's right there.
"Jin-ah," I whisper in his ear and I hear him moan out a curse loudly. Just as I start to let myself go, I hear my phone ring and recognize the ringtone as Jungkook's tone. I look down at my watch and ignore the call. I hear him scoff a laugh.
"Focus on me baby girl," he mutters. I grind my hips on to him at the same time that he pushes up into me. Again, my phone starts ringing; the same tone.
"Jungkookie is adamant," he whispers into my neck. "Come on, be my good girl and finish with me. Yeah, El-ah?" He moans. I feel the tension of my arousal stretched tight and i'm right on the edge.
"I love you El. I want you forever," he tells me and I moan out.
"You want that, don't you baby? Want to be mine forever? Tell me El-ah. Tell me you'll be mine," he says through pants and sucks to my neck.
"Yes," I moan out as he thrust into me hard and I feel myself clench, my toes curl and my legs tense. "Forever," I say as I feel my whole body taken over by my arousal. I let my head fall onto his shoulder as I feel him jerk beneath me and he releases with a mumbled 'I love you' and my phone rings again.
"Answer it. He will keep calling," he says and I swear to God he's still coming inside me.
I touch the screen on my watch and hear it ring.
"Noona, where are you? Are you okay?" I hear him say to me, annoyance riddling his tone.
"I'm fine," I say trying not to let him hear me pant as Jin pushes his hips up to me and smiles. "We are almost there," I tell him.
"Why didn't you answer the phone?" He asks me.
"I didn't hear it," I lie and Jin cracks his windshield wiper laugh. I glare and him and tell him to stop.
"We will be there in 10 minutes," I tell him.
"Hurry, I miss you," he whines out.
"Okay," I tell him and hang up.
"We really didn't think this through," I tell him as I look down at him. "Oh! Wait!" I turn myself and open the center console and pull out napkins. "I put these in here last week when the drive through gave me too many," I say. I pull myself off of him gently as he hisses from sensitivity and clean myself up quickly before I make any mess.
A few minutes later we are both back in our seats and he's starting the drive to our location. He drives for a few minutes while I'm responding to emails on my phone and then takes a turn and lets me know we're are almost there. I pull the visor down as i'm trying to adjust my hair and make sure my makeup looks good so they won't be able to tell i'm freshly fucked. I feel the car come to a stop and I swing the visor up and see a carnival in front of me and the 6 others standing in front of the entrance.
There are no other cars here and I can't see any other people. I look over at Jin and he's smiling wildly at me. He gets out of the car and walks to my door to open it for me and grabs my hand to lead me to where the others are standing. I see them smiling, even Yoongi.
"What is this?" I ask them as I look around. I see food stands, carnival games, arcade games, and all the classic carnival rides including a huge, beautiful Ferris wheel that's lit up. I look back down to them.
"We know you love carnivals and you mentioned you wished you could go to one with us so, here you go," Namjoon says.
"Wait, you built me a carnival?" I ask them, the shock hitting me.
"Do you like it Noona?" I hear Jimin say. I'm completely caught off guard. They told me they'd find ways to make sure that I still had the dating experience with them and they delivered.
"I love it, oh my god," I squeal and I go down the line hugging each of them. I reach Yoongi last and I wrap my arms around his neck.
"Can we talk for a second?" He asks me. I nod my head and he grabs my hand and leads us into the carnival. The others follow behind and disperse to different areas to explore. He walks us straight to the Ferris wheel where there's an attendant waiting for us. We bow at him and climb into the chair. I gasp as it starts rocking and Yoongi pulls me closer to him with a small laugh.
"I got you baby," He whispers into my hair. The ride starts and I close my eyes, feeling the movement mess with my equilibrium. After a few moments, I feel the ride stop and we are rocking in the seat.
"Open your eyes El. Look at how beautiful everything is," he tells me. I open my eyes and mumble out a wow as I see how tiny the city looks from here. We are so incredibly high up, just swinging, watching how far away everything and everyone looks. I turn to face him and he kisses me softly.
"I'm sorry," he says to me. "I feel like we're keeping you from so much by you just being with us. This is your dream job and it killed me to know that because of me, because of us, you turned it down. I just never want you to look back on anything in life and feel regret or remorse," he says as he exhales.
"Yoongi-ah, the only thing I'd ever feel remorse or regret about, is not having you," I tell him. "I have everything I've ever wanted with you," I say. He leans in again and kisses me.
"Are you absolutely sure?" He asks me. I smile at him.
"Yes. I'm 100% sure. Besides, I'm just starting out here. Maybe in a few years, I'll build up enough rapport to get a similar position with similar pay here in Seoul. I know that if I work hard enough, it's possible," I tell him.
"You're incredible," he says to me as he pushes my hair behind my ear.
"Why did you chose to ride the Ferris wheel? I didn't take you for the type," I tell him knowing that heights really aren't his thing.
"I wanted to go on a ride with you that best expressed how you make me feel," he replies.
"And how is that?" I ask him. He gives me his beautiful wide smile.
"On top of the world," he tells me with a kiss as his hand tangles in my hair. After a few seconds, I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I push my hips up to pull it out and see that it's an unknown number. I look at Yoongi with confusion on my face.
"Answer it and put it on speaker," he tells me. I slide my finger to answer the call.
"Hello?" I say.
"Hello, we are looking for Eleanor Lopez," I hear the man speak on the other line, this call obviously coming from the US.
"This is she. Can I help you?" I ask. Yoongi's hand is wrapped around me and his fingers are grazing my shoulder.
"Ms. Lopez, this is Officer Carl Dwight calling from the Los Angeles County Police Office," he says in a very flat tone. My stomach churns a little bit.
"Yes?" I respond.
"Unfortunately, we have some bad news," I hear him say and I feel my stomach sink. "We received a call from a civilian this morning about a woman laying on the sidewalk. Our officers responded to the call and arrived to find the woman unconscious," he continues. What is happening? Am I having a nightmare?
"Our officers called paramedics and tried to revive her but unfortunately it was unsuccessful . Paramedics arrived and she was pronounced dead shortly after. After searching, we found her identification and confirmed that it is Jaqueline Torrque and you are listed as her emergency contact and next of kin," he says out loud and I feel my heart drop.
My mother.
"I'm so sorry to have to do this over the phone but by the number I've called, it seems that you are out of the country. Ms. Lopez, your mother has died from an apparent drug overdose. I'm so sorry," he informs me and I feel like every ounce of air was just taken from my lungs and the whole world around me is black.
Dead.