Alexis Pierce
I sit up next to him in my leggings and bra, stroking his head and sighing. He was finally asleep, his body finally relaxed. I think he can look after himself from here onwards. He was laying on his stomach, arms under the pillow his head was on, his cheeks squished up a little, his back rising and falling as he breathes in and out silently. I sigh and tuck his hair behind his ear, looking at the earring lazily sitting on his jaw hinge. I slide my shirt on, feeling a bit cold. I stand up and lean over to him one more time, kissing his head softly.
I walk over to his drawers, pulling out a grey hoodie. I dodge the mess on the floor and pull the covers up his lower back a little bit more because he was laying on his stomach. I see faint scratches on his back and I know they're from before.
I leave the room, stepping over a lot of shit until I see his necklace I gave back, still on the floor. I bend over and pick it up and putting my head through it. I smile and gently open his door, stepping out and silently closing the door.
"Alexis?" Gemma says in a whisper, looking at me, startling me.
"Hi," I say, she looks at the hoodie I was wearing. "He's asleep so just...be quiet," I say, shrugging and just about ready to get out of here. I sigh and spin around.
"I'm never gonna forgive you," she says matter of factly, which makes me freeze.
That makes my skin crawl and I just look at her, we were about 5 metres away from each other but I felt half the world away. I just shrug. "Thanks for telling me that," I admit, that means I can give up and accept that I've lost her forever. I spin around again.
"But," she says, making me freeze again. "Thank you..." she mumbles, I just smile softly. "Is he okay?" she acts like she doesn't care but I know she does.
"He will be," I say. "Just let him sleep, please,"
"You slept with him again, I heard you,"
"You're mom let me do anything with him to get him to trust me, I wasn't going to because I wanted to get you back but, I knew I had to and I'm sorry again. It's what he wanted and I was there for whatever he wanted to do," I shrug softly.
She doesn't say anything, she just stands there.
I wave and this time I walk away, walking downstairs. I was just gonna leave but Anne comes up to me. "Is he okay?" she and Robin both look worried.
"He will be," I nod. They let go of the breath they were holding. "He's sleeping, finally, he was eating, just not enough,"
"Thank god," Robin says. "Thank you so much Lex,"
"Yeah," I nod.
"Are you leaving?" she asks.
"I know Gemma doesn't want me here so yes," I nod. "He should be okay to do things on his own now,"
"Wait," she says. "Wouldn't it be better to stay? So he doesn't wake up and see you gone? I wouldn't like that,"
"We're not together anymore, and it needs to stay like that so he doesn't get the wrong idea, I was just helping him,"
They go quiet. I would love to stay here and help him but he'll think something else like he always does and it'll be hard to tell him he's wrong. "If you need more help, just...call or come see me, I'm happy to help. It's just better if we stay away from each other now, I'm sorry, but it's what I need too — not just Harry,"
She nods. "Okay...I understand,"
"Thanks," I smile, she nods.
"I'll keep working on Gem,"
"Don't worry about it," I mumble.
"What? Why?"
"She said straight to me that she's never gonna forgive me," I shrug.
"Why?" she asks.
"Because...I dated Harry, when he and I knew we shouldn't have," I shrug.
It was like magic because I hear talking upstairs, a raspy voice and the more I listen, I hear Harry. I close my eyes and sigh. "I'll be back," I spin back around, breathing out heavily and walk back upstairs.
"Shut up Harry!" Gemma screeches through the wall, banging on it once.
I'm gonna kill these two I swear.
"You said you wouldn't leave," he slides boxers up his legs.
"You need to take care of yourself, I'm not the mother duck you can follow around, Harry," I shake my head.
"You literally told me you wouldn't leave," he says.
"Harry, you need to look after yourself," I gesture to his messy room. "I can't keep babying you,"
"You're not, just...don't leave," he whines.
"I'm not your girlfriend anymore," I shake my head.
"Then why did you sleep with me like an hour ago? Telling me you wouldn't leave me and that you love me, if you're not my girlfriend?" he asks, crossing his arms.
I stutter. "I—I don't know,"
"Because you didn't want to say no to me, you thought I would've gotten mad," he realises.
"That's not true," I shake my head, lying.
"Then can you just stay?"
"Why?" I whine now.
"Because I miss you to the point where I had to drown out my pain with drugs and now that you're here, drugs isn't an option now,"
I sigh. "Fine," I give in, he breathes out. "Go shower," I whisper. "You kinda need it,"
He starts walking over to me. He cups my jaw and looks down at me. He still look really tired and dead but knowing he has a little bit of energy will make it easier to get food and liquids into his system.
He leans in a little but I turn my head out of his grip which makes him freeze. "Um...just...shower," I whisper. He drops his hands from my jaw, flicking his eyes over my face with a sad noise escaping his lips. I put my hands on my hips and watch him close the door in the bathroom across the hall sadly.
While he was in there, I opened his window because it was cold and windy outside so a cold draft came through but Anne saw what I was doing and helped. I told her because Harry and I weren't dating, I didn't exactly feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed as him, just so he doesn't try anything.
She understood and offered me the study but I didn't want Harry to do anything in his sleep, or just do anything because I'm not in there and she understood that too. She got me a mattress to put on the floor, we shoved things into one corner of the room for him to go through later.
"What are you doing?" Gemma asks. "Why is she still here?"
"She's staying to help Harry for a bit and you're not gonna say a word to her, nothing bad," Anne says as I put the blanket over the single mattress and a pillow at the top.
"Harry a big boy, he can look after himself,"
"He can't, not at the moment," Anne says. "Just, leave Harry and Alexis alone,"
"I already did that, and look what happened?" she sneers.
"Gemma, leave," she says sternly. She rolls her eyes and stomps to her room. The door slams so hard that Harrys guitar falls off its stand and lands on my leg. I look down at it and pick it up.
Seeing it up close, it had a pearly finish to it. "I got Harry that for his 11th birthday," she smiles. "It was expensive but I knew how badly he wanted to learn guitar,"
"He said he'd teach me," I remember, whispering.
"It's a pretty instrument. He only plays one song,"
"Girl crush," I answer, fiddling with the strings.
"Yeah," she nods.
"He's singing about me," I say, looking at the white matte guitar.
"Really?" she asks.
"Mhm," I put it back on the stand. "He told me when we started dating,"
"Hmm, well there you go,"
Speaking off, Harry comes back with his hair damp, sweatpants and his clothes balled up in his hand. His skin was tan, back to it's normal colour and there was still water droplets on his chest. "That's my cue," she stands up.
"What are you doing?" he asks me, looking at me on the floor.
"What does it look like?"
"Sleeping on my bedroom floor?" he looks at me.
"Then you're correct," I nod.
"Why? Sleep on the bed," he says, his eyes lighting up a little, but I knew I couldn't.
I shake my head. "I can't,"
"Why? I'm not letting you sleep on the floor,"
"You don't get to make decisions," I shake my head.
"God damnit, Lex, just take the bed, I'll sleep on the floor, if that's what you're so worried about,"
"No," I decline. "You're gonna sleep there, actually sleep and then I can go home,"
"You don't want to be here?"
"Not really, Gemma hates me and said she's never gonna forgive me," I shrug. "I don't want to be in the same house as her for very long and I know she feels the same,"
He huffs, looking at the corner Anne and I made that had everything in the pile.
"Fine," he says softly, his voice soft like he's just cried. He crawls on his bed, sitting up and taking his phone from the bedside. I take my own, texting Louis.
Lou: where are you?
Me: harry's room
Lou: did you fuck? i thought
you broke up?
Me: we did but this boy decided to get
high off his mother fucking ass, not eat enough
and worry his whole family that anne had
to ask me for help because she knows how
i can get into his head to tell him that i don't hate
him and all of this stuff, then he fucked
me because he thought it would make me
want him again, then when i try to leave, gemma tells me she hates me and won't forgive me,
it's been crazy but i'm gonna have to stay
here until harry's capable of doing things
on his own
Lou: wow
Me: so yeah, i won't be able to see
you for a while
Lou: i'm with dylan, i was just wondering
where you were
Me: i'm here and i'm gonna
be for a while :)
Lou: have fun?
I huff and look up at Harry, he was scrolling slowly on his phone, like he was reading something. He rolls over so his back was to me, he turns his phone off and just lays there, sighing. I went back on my phone to go on my instagram, scrolling on it, liking posts of my friends, Zayn and Gemma were still together because I could see Zayn's instagram account and it had G, in the bio, his profile picture them together.
Harry and 16 others that I was following, were following him, he had over three thousand followers, same with Harry. "Do you regret being together?" he speaks over my thoughts, I was now scrolling through his pictures. One of Gemma and Zayn kissing were on my screen.
"You know I don't," I speak.
"Well I'm having second thoughts," he mutters.
"Why?"
He doesn't answer at first, he just swallows. "Because...it seems like you regret everything," he shrugs.
"I don't regret it, I just...wish it didn't end like it did,"
"Gemma doesn't control you,"
"I know that..." I breathe out.
"So why are you acting like she controls you?"
"Because she's my best friend, and I fucked up our friendship so of course I'm going to do anything I want to her her back Harry. Dating you is doing nothing but ruin those chances,"
"The way you say it makes me think you really do regret it all,"
"What do you mean regret it?"
"Everything. Us being together,"
"We did lots of things together, clarify it,"
"We slept together, we went out together, we...did normal relationship-y things. Do you regret all of them?"
"Of course I don't," I shake my head, his back still facing me.
"In a way I feel like I've taken the other half of your virginity," he whispers, making me confused.
"How?" I furrow my brows.
"I'm the second person you had had sex with, it just makes sense. Did it hurt when we had sex?"
"The first time? Yeah?"
"You hadn't fully lost your virginity then," he shrugs.
"What are you talking about?"
"You had sex before me once, that obviously hurt, but when it hurt with me, you were still in pain so you lost the other half with me,"
"I guess that makes sense,"
"And I regret that," he says but I freeze. What does that mean? Does he seriously regret having sex with me?
"W—What?" I rasp.
"I don't regret having sex, I regret taking the other half of your purity, because I always told you that I like you being innocent, but Tristan and I took that from you," he shrugs which makes me relax a little but also more confused. "So I'm sorry,"
"I'm glad it was you...honestly, I don't know what I would do if it was anyone else but you," I shrug. "I don't regret anything at all, Harry. I just...want to be away from Gemma so she can actually think if she will ever forgive me, okay? I don't hate you,"
He doesn't say or do anything for a long while, I just breathe while I watch him lay there before he nods, softly. I sigh, and look at my lap.
//