They made it back to the table, but not before a heated make out session.
It would have to suffice until the next time they could hide behind their veil.
And Jasper would never admit it, but he craved Ace's touch; he craved being under his spell again.
Back behind that veil where only they mattered. Where outside influence could never penetrate.
He hated himself for it. Because he promised himself he wouldn't let anyone have such an effect on him.
Not after the last.
The two we're realizing what they did was a mistake.
A mistake, because now they've experienced what it felt like to have one another.
They could never go back to before. Going back to before each other's touch consumed them sounded like a territory neither of them had dared, nor wanted to travel to.
And if Karla were any less tipsy, she would've noticed Ace's slightly disheveled hair that he tried his best to fix, along with swollen lips as he sat down.
But like the rest of the table, she was occupied by lighthearted conversation and an endless supply of alcohol.
As soon as a glass was empty, it was like the waiter appeared out of thin air ready to serve.
Naturally, Jasper's eyes found Ace's from across the table. Subtlety was not working in his favor, but he still felt the softness of Ace's kiss on his lips.
So he watched. To feel closer.
To search for the remnants of himself he'd left somewhere on Ace's mouth. Pieces he'd never get back or feel for the first time again.
How did it fucking come to this? We're they really so starved for each other that longing looks across rooms had become almost as close as touching?
Jasper was amazing at hiding his emotions, but even he couldn't properly hide the longing behind his gaze.
At least not from Ace.
Ace could see him for what he was now.
Because the guard has studied every last expression. Every curve and taunt of his mouth, every furrow of his eyebrow, tint of his cheeks, pursed lips, clenched jaw, everything, everything, everything.
He felt he could read Jasper easier now. Ace no longer saw him as the shell of a human like he first thought they'd first met.
He saw him for what he was, or at least he thinks.
So what is he? Who is he?
If Ace could answer that, he'd reckon majority of his problems would be fixed. But maybe it was okay not to know. Maybe he didn't ever need to know.
All he knew in that moment is what it felt like to be wanted, no, needed by Jasper White. And was it a feeling.
Jasper looked away. He closed his eyes, took a sip of his drink and tried to drown out the voices around him.
He tried to focus on Ace's. Tried to remember what it was like to be touched by him. But to no avail.
When he opened his eyes again, he was snapped back into reality where everyone around him was full of joy, but he'd never wanted to leave a place more.
If he had been paying less attention to the opposite end of the table, he wouldn't have heard it.
A small chime of a ringtone sounded. Naturally, he looked toward Ace who fumbled on his phone before answering it moments later.
Jasper frowned, watching as Ace's expression dropped instantly. A cold white sheet washed over his features, his fingers held the phone tightly, close to his ear as if he didn't want anyone to hear.
Jasper wondered briefly who was on the other line. Who or what they could be saying that was making Ace so upset.
He could admit. He never particularly cared about the guard's feelings before. But as he watched closer, something sparked inside of him.
Concern? Maybe worry? No, it couldn't be.
Ace spoke for a few more moments in a hushed, rushed and frustrated tone. If Jasper were any closer, he may have been able to piece together context of the conversation, but their separation had so far only proven to be nothing but a nuisance.
Ace sighed in distress and hung up a moment later. Jasper watched as he said something to his mom, becoming more and more frustrated that he had no indication to the gravity of the situation.
Karla said nodded in agreement and gave Ace a small nod of encouragement. Then he got up and left.
He left without a word. And Jasper tried his best to be discreet to watch where he went, but he couldn't do so without turning his whole body which would be too obvious.
So he settled for the next best thing. Quickly, he pulled out his phone and sent a message to Ace.
Where are you going?
Is everything okay?
Jasper watched as the read notification appeared under the message, then the three dots.
Momentarily, he looked up and noticed everyone was still deep in conversation, paying him no mind. Which is exactly what he wanted. If he could make it through the rest of the night without anymore meaningless conversation, he'd be content.
But the three dots disappeared, and Jasper waited for them to come back. Radio silence.
He clenched his jaw. What the fuck?
Acen.
Is what he typed next before hitting send.
Answer me.
Another read notification, but no response and that was enough for Jasper to feel his heart rate spike in irritation.
What the fuck is your problem???
This time, Jasper waited longer for a response, but all he got was the delivered message underneath his text. Signaling Ace was now purposefully ignoring him or had turned off his phone.
And Jasper was never really one to indulge in petty conversations over text, because he usually had no trouble saying what he needed to someone's face.
But if Acen wanted to blatantly disregard their only form of communication, then so be it.
Jasper could easily play that game too.
~
The thing about being an recovering drug addict is that you tend to ruin the relationship you have with your family. As a result, you lose their trust.
And Jasper supposed he's to blame for his mom not trusting him, but taking away his apartment might've been a bit excessive.
Prior to last year, he hadn't lived with his family since he was 18 and he enjoyed every precious moment of it.
Evidently, he took it for granted. Because after he finished rehab and came back to see his apartment cleared out, he was distraught.
He didn't have any attachment to the place. If anything, the memories it held were enough to haunt him.
But even then, he'd be willing to relive those memories if it meant he could have his personal space.
After he got back, his mom practically forced him to live with her again.
Not only had he spent all of his money on drugs, but quite frankly Karla didn't trust him alone anymore.
With the election trail just beginning, she couldn't afford another slip up.
More freedom and more money meant more chance for error.
So Jasper moved back in, very much against his will. His accounts were frozen besides whatever his mom deemed fit was enough to survive.
So every time they were back in the city, he'd be back in his personal prison.
Which, may be tad dramatic, considering they were living in a penthouse and he hardly ever had to see her.
He still hated her for it. Among other things.
Which is part of the reason why he was so against a bodyguard in the first place. Because all of his personal freedom had already been stripped, he didn't need someone hovering over his every move.
If Ace were anyone else, he would've probably driven them crazy by now.
But Ace could handle him. Ace understood him to a certain extent. Or at least Jasper thought he did.
Which is why, as he paced his room, couldn't begin to understand why Ace was still ignoring him.
Every time his phone chimed, Jasper perked up, hoping it was a text from Ace, giving him some inclination of what had went wrong.
And how pathetic was that, Jasper thought.
Waiting so eagerly for his bodyguard slash fuck buddy to respond like they were back in high school.
But Ace would soon find out, if he didn't already know, Jasper didn't settle for being ignored.
Not by anyone, but especially not by the one person who had so desperately expressed his want.
And well, maybe they were equal in terms of that. Because Jasper was not shy with his affection, but still.
Jasper would not let a Ace of all people pull away from him. Not after they'd already done something that would risk the entire election.
So he decided he'd confront Ace in person.
Any other person would've considered that a more extreme option, but Jasper didn't care.
And he definitely wasn't normal or sane.
It wasn't hard to find his address: Karla kept all employee records in her office. In it, being home addresses, ages, background information.
Basically everything to ensure their employees weren't dangerous. From what Jasper saw, Ace was clean: no criminal record. Relatively mundane.
For some reason he didn't believe it. There had to be something more, right? Ace had to be something more. Someone electric and new.
How else could Jasper describe the way he makes him feel?
Taking his car would attract too much attention, so he settled for an Uber.
It was ten minutes shy of 2 a.m and Jasper didn't even know if Ace would be home, let alone awake, but he'd find out soon enough.
In the midst of everything else going on, Jasper had tunnel vision. For one person only.
~
Ace's apartment building was as Jasper expected.
He knew the guard lived alone, which would definitely work in his favor because he had a feeling their conversation would end in something that involved less talking.
And Jasper couldn't remember the last time he felt nervous.
But as he knocked on the apartment door rather loudly, he felt a familiar feeling settle in his stomach that could only be described as nervousness.
But as always, annoyance superseded whatever nerves he felt.
So he knocked again. Louder this time, and more urgent.
And he hated himself for it, but all that annoyance melted away as soon as Ace appeared in front of him.
Confusion was the first emotion evident on his face, then recognition, then realization.
"Jasper?" Ace frowned, his shirtless torso was a distraction that Jasper tried his best to ignore. "What are you-"
Jasper ignored him. He pushed past him instead, into the warmth of his studio apartment.
"Are you purposely trying to upset me?"
"Jasp-"
"Or are you actually just an idiot?" Jasper hissed.
"How did you even know where I live?"
"It wasn't that hard, Acen," he scoffed. "Employee records."
"That doesn't give you the right to show up here unannounced."
"Wow. So you actually are an idiot," Jasper sat down on the couch, looking up at Ace who had the most incredulous look on his face.
"Are you going to just stand there? Or are you going to give me an explanation as to why you've been ignoring me?"
"It's nothing important," Ace clenched his jaw. "Just family stuff. I took care of it."
"What happened?"
"It doesn't matter, Jasper," Ace sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Should you even be here right now?"
"Don't tell me now you care about the rules," the blond scoffed, outstretching both of his arms along the back of the couch. "You don't trust me. Is that it?"
"You don't trust me either," Ace said as a matter of factly.
"You're right. I don't," Jasper deadpanned. "But that's only because you haven't given me a reason to. Not yet, anyway."
"Hm, noted," Ace replied. "I'll add that to the long list of your endless commands."
Jasper shot him a nasty glare, which Ace ignored, before he sat down on the couch on the opposite side. Away from Jasper.
"Don't tell me you're actually mad," Jasper said. "I came because you left me no other choice. If you would've just used your phone like a normal person, I wouldn't-"
"Why did you really come here, Jasper?" Ace sighed, clear signs of stress evident in his tone. "Because it seems like you just want to scold me."
"I came because I was fucking worried," Jasper spit. "Is that so hard for you to believe? Now, tell me what's wrong with you."
"Honestly, it's nothing I want to talk about right now. At least not with you."
Jasper faltered, the last sentence sending a violent wave through his chest he didn't expect to feel.
"Fine," the blond feigned carelessness. "I'll leave. If that's what you want."
And Jasper wanted nothing less, but his ego wouldn't allow him to stay somewhere he clearly wasn't welcome. So he stood up, began to make his way to the door, only to be pulled back by a tight, firm grip on his wrist.
"Stop," Ace called out to him, pulling him back towards his end of the couch. "I don't want you to go."
"No?" Jasper raised his eyebrows. He was now looking down at Ace from his spot on the couch. "It doesn't seem like you want me here, either."
"I just wasn't expecting to see you," Ace explained. "I didn't necessarily want you to see me like this."
"Why's that?"
"You know why," Ace looked up at Jasper with his unwavering attention. "I'm not like you. I don't hide my emotions with callousness."
"You think I don't show you my emotions?" Jasper scoffed. "I'm pretty sure you've seen me in practically every state."
"Is that supposed to make me feel special?"
"No," Jasper threaded his fingers through Ace's hair, watching as he closed his eyes peacefully. "But you should know it is a privilege."
"Is that so?" Ace opened his eyes.
"Yes," he breathed. "Do you think I let just anyone touch me?"
"I'm sure you don't," Ace agreed. "So why me?"
"What?"
"You've made it very clear this is only happening because you allow it to," Ace explained, hands finding the natural curve of Jasper's hips as he looked up at him.
"So why do you let me?"
"Are you saying you don't like it? Touching me?"
"I'm not saying that at all," Ace answered. "And you're deflecting. Answer the question."
"I allow it because maybe I like the way it feels, too."
"Is that really the reason, Jasper?" He asked softly. "When we first met, you practically forbade it. What changed?"
"What changed is I realized what I was missing," The blond huffed. "Besides why are you questioning it? Do you not want this anymore?"
"Of course I want this," Ace frowned. "I suppose I want to know how your mind works a little more."
"Wishful thinking," Jasper caressed the side of his face. "That's not something you ever want to figure out. Trust me."
"If I told you I did?"
"Then I'd think you're crazy."
"Not anymore than you," Ace grinned and Jasper inwardly melted at his smile. "I think it would actually soothe me. If I could figure out even just an inch."
"Why do you want that so bad?" Jasper asked. "My mind is nothing you want to see."
"Because you don't want me to see it," Ace countered. "That makes me want it so much more. Makes me want you so much more."
"You'd just be disappointed," Jasper sighed, looking away momentarily at the walls decorated with intricate artwork.
"How do you know that?"
"Because I've seen what happens when people get inside my mind," he faltered, terrified he revealed too much due to the comfort of Ace's touch. "It's nothing short of a catastrophe."
"I think you're too hard on yourself," Ace responded, looking at at Jasper with comforting and confused eyes.
"I think you think you know me better than you do." Jasper explained. "I'm not a good person, Ace. I wish you could see that."
"No one is a good person," Ace countered. "I don't care what you've done in the past. You make me feel good. Incredible, even. How could that be bad?"
"Lots of things that are bad for us make us feel good," Jasper sighed, eager to pull away but Ace didn't allow it. Kept him planted firmly in his spot. "Why do you think it's so easy to become addicted to drugs?"
"I think I'll be okay if you're my only addiction."
"You say that now, but-"
"Stop it." Ace cut him off, shot him a frustrated glance. "Stop with the self deprecation. It's exhausting."
Jasper frowned, silent at the smoothness of Ace's words, although they held so much emotion.
"I don't know how many times I have to tell you," Ace drew him in closer. Level with Jasper's stomach, he lifted the bottom of his skirt to reveal the soft skin.
"I want this," Ace placed a chaste kiss on his stomach and felt Jasper shiver.
"I want you," another kiss. Jasper's hands snaked around his neck. "Just leave it at that. Do you trust me?"
"I never said I trusted you to begin with," Jasper's shaky voice let out.
"You trust me with your body," Ace stated, his hands reaching Jasper's back underneath his shirt. "You trust me to pleasure you. Do you not?"
"That's different, I don't-"
"In bed, you're different," Ace's breath fanned across his skin. "You relinquish yourself to me. Like you trust me. Is that not real?"
Jasper was at a loss for words. Because part of him knew Ace was right. That he did trust him to a certain extent. With his body. But trust was so much more nuanced than that, wasn't it?
"All those things you said to me in the bathroom," Ace smiled against Jasper's skin. "Such dirty things..do you not want that anymore? That's the real reason you came here, isn't it?"
"I told you I came because I was worried," Jasper breathed. "And I also saw an opportunity to be alone with you. I took it."
"I appreciate the honesty," Ace looked up at him. Eyes closed in anticipation, the dim lighting illuminating Jasper's delicate skin.
"Remember when I wanted to see into your see into your mind?" Ace's hands did all of the talking needed. "Tell me what you're thinking right now."
"I'm thinking I need you," Jasper trailed off, his heart racing. He felt Ace's lips leave his stomach to stand, so the guard was now looking down at him.
"You need me? In what way?"
"In every way," Jasper answered, too far gone to hide his eagerness as his hands found Ace's.
"Show me I'm the only person in the world. In your world."
~
filler chapter, honestly not super proud of this one 😣 but let me know what you all think?
thank you for 19k reads and all the votes and comments! :)