In the desert, the Elephant is seen ramming into the temple's door. Cut to the inside of the temple, where Tucker, Ava, Alex, Sarge, Grif, and Caboose are seen.
Grif: The hell are they doing out there?
Tucker: They've been trying to blast their way in here ever since I locked it down. They're not having much luck though, ARE YOU, FUCKING ASSHOLES? The stuff looks like rock, but it's way tougher.
Ava: They tried to blow this place open once but the rock or what ever this is helps.
Grif: What's tougher than rock?
Caboose: Paper.
Alex: That's Rock Paper Scissors Caboose,
Tucker: How the fuck should I know? Super rock? What am I, some kind of, geographist?
Sarge: They have some kind of big machine out there.
Tucker: Yeah, they just got that thing. I think they think they're gonna yank this door off with it. Not fucking happening.
Alex: But it moves so slow.
Sarge: They wanna get their hands on that weapon?
Tucker: Yeah, and we can't let them turn it on, no matter what happens.
Sarge: Well, why don't we just turn it on and use it against them?
Tucker: The fuck, what!? We don't know what it does! We can turn it on and it could make us all sterile.
Ava: That could be good.
Caboose is seen in the background running into a different room.
Grif: Would it do that?
Tucker: Well, the last weapon we found was designed to wipe out all organic life in a huge radius.
Alex: Yesh that's big.
Grif: (whistles) Wow. ... What's a, radius?
Tucker: I don't know, they just made me learn this crap for my dumb job. Point is, don't touch anything. You hit the wrong button or flip the wrong switch, we'll all be dead before you can say—Where's Caboose?
Sarge: Uh, I don't think that's how that expression goes.
Ava: Shit.
Tucker: No, I mean where the fuck is Caboose?
Alex: Oh come on why is he doing this?
Sarge: Oh yeah... he does have a habit of wandering off. He's been trying to rig equipment to do something. We don't really know what. That boy is not quite right, you know?
Tucker: What? I just said not to touch anything, and you guys went and walk away to find equipment? What the hell is wrong with you? Man, I swear, you guys have always been idiots, but this takes the cake!
Delta: Tchechniclty he is on your team.
Tucker: And your on there's.
Delta: I am neutral in this.
Grif: Hey! He's on your team, asshole.
Tucker: Oh. Right. ...Hey, uh, so if you guys aren't doing anything, you wanna help me go find Caboose?
Sarge: Let's go.
Ava: Let's just find him.
Alex: I can't believe you guys.
Sarge Alex and Grif begin to walk off past Tucker.
Grif: So embarrassing for you...
Tucker: Just go find the guy.
Grif: So sad...
Tucker: I fucked your sister.
Cuts to Valhalla. Lopez is working on another motorcycle, humming to himself. Simmons South, and Will are seen in the background charging in.
Simmons: Loooopeeeezzz!!
Lopez: [No! I just fixed this. This one is mine. Stay away!]
Simmons: He's here! He's here!
Will: We need help!
Lopez: [Who?]
Simmons: The bad guy! The guy who wants to kill us!
South: How did he find us!
Lopez: [You're going to have to be more specific than that.]
A grenade shot by the Meta flies by and crashes into the Red Base.
Simmons: The Meta! He's here!
Lopez: [What? Here? I thought he was dead.]
Simmons: Oh geez, look out!
Simmons, South, Will, and Lopez duck. A Bruteshot grenade flies overhead.
Simmons: Son of a bitch!
South: Ass hole!
Will: Fucking bull shit.
Lopez: ¡Madre de Dios!
Simmons: Lopez! We need some big guns.
Lopez: [Okay. That I can do.]
Simmons: I'll grab the rocket launcher. (picks up rocket launcher while Lopez goes inside the base) Just grab whatever you can, Lopez! I'm trained to handle this weapon. (stands by the motorcycle Lopez was fixing) Lopez?
Will loads grenades into the second barrel of his rifle and South grabs a sniper rifle.The Meta is seen approaching the entrance which Lopez had entered in. He pauses upon seeing Simmons.
Simmons: All right, you bastard! Prepare to get "Simmonsized!"
South: We're about to die and your last words are "prepare to get Simmonsized"?
Will: So embarrassing.
Simmons fires a rocket, which hits the motorcycle Will and south open fire. Simmons Will, South and the Meta watch as the vehicle flies over the Meta and lands to the side of the base, on fire. The Meta growls and turns his attention back to Simmons.
Simmons: Well, fuck us.
Missiles crash into the Meta from the base's entrance. He flees from them.
Lopez: (walks outside the base with a missile pod)[Did you seriously just say "Simmonsized?"]
Simmons: Lopez!
South: We need to go!
Lopez: [Shut the fuck up. You broke my motorcycle again.]
Cuts to the temple in Sandtrap, where Caboose is standing with the Epsilon unit. The A.I. unit is making noise. Caboose darts to the side and examines a box.
Caboose: No. (examines a cylindrical object) No. (discovers something buried in the dirt) Hmm...
Scene cuts to the Elephant outside the temple.
Intercom: Just open the temple and you can leave. We'll take what we want; no one has to get hurt.
Ava: Shut off that damn intercom.
Cuts back inside the temple.
Tucker: Shut up, idiot! I should've stabbed that fucking speaker while I was out there.
Grif: Caboose!
Alex: Come out man.
Tucker: Caboose, where are you?
Sarge: Hey, Blue! Hope you're not dead! Now that there's three of ya, we finally have a fair fight! Come on out here so we can kill ya!
Tucker: [with his voice low] Hey guys, shut up, do you hear that?
Caboose: [to someone offscreen] Would you be quiet? See, you're gonna get me in trouble.
Voice: Trouble? Fuck that.
Tucker: Who's he talking to? Aw, crap! Did somebody break into the temple?
Caboose: Shut up—okay, see, you broke that. See, that was your fault.
Voice: That, that was already broken.
Tucker: Whew! (withdraws his sword) All right, let's charge in there and take these assholes out. On my mark. ...That means when I say "go."
Grif: That voice sounds familiar.
Alex: It makes me want to scream and grown.
Sarge: Yeah. I find it annoying and grating for some reason.
Ava: And it makes me want to ignore everything it says.
Caboose: Okay, just stop moving around, hold still!
Voice: I am holding still, you're the one that's moving.
Tucker: Yeah, that's sounds like—
Voice: Get your hands off me! Fucking douche!
Caboose: I'm sorry, Church!
Tucker Alex, Ava, and Grif: Church!?
The foce run around the corner. Caboose and a floating monitor turn to see them. After a brief silence...
Caboose: I can explain.
Monitor: (in Church's voice) Who the fuck are these guys?
Sarge: Who brought the floating bowling ball? Where's the thumb hole?
Ava: Caboose explain.