AN: Hey! It's been a while... but im back. Thank you to those of you who didn't give up on this story.
So i'm skipping all her time in her room since she stays in it the whole time and there's nothing much to write about it.
Hermione POV
I woke up and sighed. Today was the day I had to face everyone. We were going to Hogwarts. I would have to face Blaise and his idiot friends like Draco. Wait, no. Malfoy. Not Draco. Malfoy.
I stared at my packed trunk. I packed it yesterday after I recieved all my books from an owl. I got a letter from Mcgonagall saying that we could wear muggle clothes for our 7th year instead of our school robes on some days. I had sighed at that and packed a lot of muggle clothes under my school robes. Now I look around to see if I had forgotten anything. I saw my sketch book and quickly, but carefully, packed it in the trunk. We still had about 3 hours until we had to start and Blaise was still packing. Mum and Dad came home yesterday and didn't suspect anything about me being in my room since they came in the night.
AN: also she started having food after the 1st week she stayed in her room.
I heard a crack and I guessed that Blaise's friends were here. I scowled.
I didn't have breakfast since I never do. I get off the bed and pull out the scale. I step on it and it reads 90 lbs. I look in the mirror and think, "that's not good enough".
I started out at 130 lbs. I know how fat that is and I only lost 40 lbs? I sighed and just shrunk it and pack it in my trunk. I would never leave this behind.
I sigh and make myself comfortable for the last 3 hours until we leave. I hear everyone walking around outside since I had to take off all the charms. I go into Blaise's mind to see what he's talking about and hear them talking about me.
"She's honestly such a bitch. I was expecting a nice sister who I would love. She's nothing like that. You know what she did? She locked herself up for 2 months just for attention . I swear, she's so annoying."
I left his mind, not wanting to hear any more.
I expected a bit better but at the same time I didn't really care. That's a thing about having depression and anxiety at the same time. You care too much and at the same time, don't care at all.
I sigh. Well, it's not like I can do shit about it.
Time skip
I finally come out of my room for the first time in 2 whole months. I probably look worse for the wear, given how everyone's gaping at me. They composed themselves and ignored me, going back to talking amongst themselves. I walked past them, not able to spare 2 shits for them.
I poured myself some coffee and smiled tiredly at my parents.
"Good morning"
They smiled and said it back then turned to all of us.
"Ok guys, I hope you all are packed and ready because we have to start in about 5 minutes. Get your trunks so we can start putting it in the car."
Blaise's group left to go get everything and I just sat there, finishing my coffee in peace. My parents asked me to get my stuff again and I told them that it's already here. They nodded and left, presumably to get the car out.
I sighed and, having finished my coffee, left to change.
I wore some muggle clothes and left to go outside.
Her outfit
No one was there yet so I decided to sit in the very back. I plugged my earphones in and started playing some songs. I chose Steven by Jake Miller. I sighed. This was one of my favorite songs. I guess it's because I related to this song on so many different levels. The others slowly came out of the door, laughing with each other. Mum and Dad scolded them for taking so long, going on and on about how they would be late now. I drowned them out and sighed. I decided to go into Blaise's mind to see what he's thinking.
ugh. Mum and Dad are embarrassing me so much right now. This is so unfair. Hermione never gets in trouble.
I get out and scoff. Yeah I'm not in trouble because I actually decided to be here on time. I don't say it out loud though. I don't really want more trouble at this point. We finally get in and start to the station.
Time skip
We finally got there and everyone but me immediately bolted. They didn't even say bye to our parents. Not even Blaise. I rolled my eyes at their backs and turned back to mum and dad, giving each a hug.
"Bye mum. Bye dad. I'll miss you guys...I promise I'll write."
They smiled and hugged me.
"Bye baby. Love you"
I smiled back at them.
"Love you too!"
I took my trunk and put it on a cart. I go to the wall where we have to run and see them waiting around.
"Finally!", Blaise exclaimed.
I raised my eyebrow at him.
"Why'd you wait?"
He rolled his eyes.
"Because we've decided to forgive you. I guess it's not your fault that you know nothing about problems. So...yeah. Would you like to sit with us on the way?"
I mentally scoffed. They decided to forgive me? That's funny. I didn't mention it though and on the outside I gave a small smile.
"I'd be delighted."
We got in the train and almost immediately found a compartment. We put our things in their respectful places and got comfortable. The others started talking and I felt like I was intruding so I excused myself to go 'change'.
I left and found a bathroom. I leaned against the wall and sighed. I didn't cry. I had no reason to at the moment. I sunk to the floor and kept leaning against the wall. This was normal for me whenever I felt...I actually don't even know. There's always a specific feeling. The same one each time. But there's no name to that feeling. No description or anything. It's just...a feeling that's experienced like any other one.
I take out my blade and play with it. It has a very intricate design of a dragon protecting it's village.
Her blade
That's why I love this blade. I am the village and the dragon is this blade, protecting me from the world. Wrapping around me. And then it shows a shipwreck caused by the blade. This is also me. A wreck and others say that it's because of this blade. I cut my arm quickly. The blood flows from the cut into the knife due to a spell I placed on it. The blood outlined the dragon's features and the eyes glowed as I felt a sharp pain in my arm. Then it went back to normal and the blood disappeared.
I smiled. This is what happened every time and I loved it. I sat there for a bit more and then changed.
Blaise POV
It's been a while since Hermione left to change and I'm getting a bit worried. She's been gone for a little over 45 minutes. I was about to go look for her when she walked back into the compartment, looking a bit different than before, and in different clothes. I peer at her suspiciously and go into her mind.
Blaise Hermione
Where have you been?
Where I said I would be. The bathroom. Changing.
Your lying.
She got visibly angry, if her red hair said anything. Her face had a happy smile on it though. So she knows how to hide her emotions. Interesting.....I wonder why she had to cover it up.
Oh so now you know when I'm lying and when I'm not? You don't know me Zabini. You never did. Don't pretend otherwise.
With that, she shut off the twin telepathy and plugged her earphones in. Purposefully avoiding my eyes, she looked out the window.
I was kind of angry but at the same time, knew it was true. I didn't know this girl. I thought I did but that's stupid. I just got her back 2 months ago and less than 24 hours after that, I didn't see her for 2 months. I felt bad for fighting and as soon as I saw her when she came out of the room, I could tell that she hadn't ate. She wasn't sneaking out for shit. She looked so bad that I decided to forgive her. It's truly not her fault that she doesn't know about problems. I wouldn't wish my group's problems on anyone. I turned to my friends and started talking to them.
Hermione POV
How fucking dare he. Mother fucking Zabini. Doubts me and then calls me a fucking liar. The hell did I ever even do? Sure I was gone a while but that's none of his business. For all he knows, I could've been shitting. My God.
I started playing another one of my favorite songs. It's called Secrets and it explains what I wish I was brave enough to do. But the truth is...I'm scared. I'm scared that if I tell people, they'll think I'm more of a freak then I already am. I'm scared that the people who hurt me will find out I told and hurt me more. After all, they're everywhere I go. At least one of them is. Death eaters are in the Wizarding world outside Hogwarts. The 4 boys are in Hogwarts itself. And my former mom and dad are in the muggle world. I'm not safe anywhere. Thinking that, I fall asleep. Right into a nightmare.
Draco POV
The days where I couldn't talk to Hermione killed me inside. I knew she didn't mean what she said and she was obviously surprised with the answers she got. But I couldn't talk to her. And then on the car ride over, she stayed in the back on her phone, listening to music. We finally sat in the same compartment but now she's asleep.
My heartbeat tripled as I watched her sleep. She started whimpering and moving around.
I panicked and motioned to Blaise.
"Blaise! She's having a nightmare or something! Look!"
He took one look at her and came over.
"Hermione! Hermione wake up. Please. Come on. You're safe. Nothing's happening. It's a dream."
She gave no response except for a scream and started muttering some words.
"Please...leave me alone! It hurts. Please! No...I don't no no please no! NO!"
We all got super worried because it was obviously a very bad nightmare.
Blaise POV
What. The. Fuck. What's going on. She just fell asleep and now this. What the fuck is she dreaming about? I wish I could see....
I mentally face palm. I'm actually so stupid. Twin fucking telepathy. I try to go into her mind but I'm blocked. I get out, groaning. She blocked me after I called her a liar. Fuck.
I try one more time.
"Hermione please wake up...it's a nightmare. We're all here for you. Come on."
Something must have clicked because she started stirring.
Hermione POV
I wake up to Draco holding me and Blaise trying to wake me up.
"Thank god you're awake! Omg you scared us" Draco said.
Blaise also looked relieved but then turned serious.
"Hermione, you may have blocked me from looking into your head but I'm not stupid. That was obviously a PTSD induced dream which means it's happened to you before in real life. So. The only question left is what were you dreaming of?"
I panic but keep a neutral look on my face. He was right. It did happen before. It was my former parents torturing and raping me. But I wasn't about to tell him that.
"It wasn't PTSD induced, it was just a nightmare. And what it was is my business. So leave it alone."
He raised his eyebrows but said nothing else.
Finally, Hogwarts came into view.
We've arrived.