"Finally!" Jihyo moaned, the class had just finished, leaving all three of us free as it was lunch time. "Look at how happy she is, she's ready to raid the cafeteria" Sana remarked, making all of us laugh. "Oh come on! I'm just so hungry. Let's go already! There are rats playing tennis in my stomach" Jihyo joked. We all packed our stuff and strolled to the Cafeteria where we found Eunwoo and Taehyung along with other two friends: Hoshi and Hyunsuk seated on one of the benches. You should sit with us sometime you know? Eunwoo's voice rang in my head. I can't let go of this opportunity. "Girls... I don't think I'll be joining you guys today... you know..." I gestured towards the bench occupied by the four guys. "Oh yeah sure, but... be careful okay?" Jihyo responded. I had already told both of them about Eunwoo and my plan. They were skeptical about it but eventually let it go. We bid our goodbyes to each other and I approached the table wearing a lovely smile.
"Hey" I greeted Eunwoo and took a seat beside him which wasn't occupied. I was seated across from Taehyung. My now boyfriend put his around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. The other two smiled, seeming aware of what was happening. While Taehyung was stunned. "Are you guys dating?" He asked, his tone was low and his eyes went from me to Eunwoo and back. His voice was bland, with no emotion. "Yeah dude. Sorry I forgot to tell you earlier" Eunwoo shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal but it didn't seem the same to Taehyung from the looks of it. He just nodded and went back to eating his food.
We all soon start conversing with each other. I start warming up too and engage in their conversations, making a few jokes here and there, gaining everyone's laughter. But Taehyung sat still in his place, making absolutely no efforts to speak to me or in fact, anyone. He stayed seated, concentrating on his food. Not even a single smile from him, it's almost as if he isn't here.
"I can't believe he actually asked you out! I was convinced that this coward would never do it" Hyunsuk exclaimed. "He had been crushing on you for a while now, it was almost painful for us to see him act like a lovesick puppy" Hoshi added. I just maintained my smile while secretly watching Taehyung. "And guess what, he would even stalk you-" Hyunsuk was cut off mid sentence by an embarrassed Eunwoo "Can you guys just knock it off already? It's embarrassing..." he interjected. I giggled while everyone chuckled at his reaction. My giggles received a death glaring from Taehyung sitting in front of me, making me shut up almost immediately.
"So Ahnjong, when did you start liking Eunwoo?" Taehyung questioned, out of the blue. I gulped. I don't know what's wrong with him but he seems to be upset with me. Is my plan working..? For a moment, all the voices and people around me fades away, leaving only him and me, face to face, his grey eyes staring at me. When I came back to reality, I took note of all the curious eyes that were automatically on me. "Well I..." I trailed off, cursing myself for not thinking about this before "I started having a crush on him ever since he gave a speech when he became the football captain" I told them, my lie seemed to convince them. it wasn't entirely a lie, that was the first time I noticed him. "I remember, I couldn't stop staring at him at all" I chuckled cutely.
Eunwoo just looked at me with warm eyes before giving me a quick peck on my cheek. This unexpected action widened my eyes and gained an 'aww so cute' from both Hoshi and Hyunsuk in sync.
Taehyung just nodded and gulped down his water before walking away with an 'excuse me'. "Ah that's weird, I don't know what's wrong with him today... He's usually very cheerful and funny... I guess he's just in a bad mood" Hoshi shrugged as I watched the said guy disappear into the hallways. "He'll be okay but anyways I'll go talk to him. Lunch time is almost over anyways" Eunwoo gets up and I squeak as another unexpected peck lands on my cheek again. I quickly touch my cheek and look at Eunwoo who's walking away in the direction Taehyung did earlier. He winked and disappeared in the hallways, looking for his friend.
As soon as Eunwoo out of sight, Hoshi, who was sitting next to me, asked "By chance, do you and Taehyung have some history together?" He was just curious and I can't blame him, it was pretty obvious that the way Taehyung was acting that way was because of me. "No, why do you ask?" I replied smoothly. "Oh, no, I was just curious" I nodded and got up as soon as the bell rang. "I should go now, bye guys, it was nice having lunch with you all" I excused myself politely and walked towards my class as various thoughts invaded my mind. He was clearly affected.
I'm getting closer to my goal. This plan is to find out whether he has feelings for me just like I do. If not, it's fine. I'll make sure that he catches some soon enough.
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Home isn't a place I prefer being in. I'd rather spend my time in the school library until late evening. I finished all my homework given and practised Math in the time I spent at the library.
The only thing I'd like to do when I get home is sleep. My house isn't the best place to be at, it's a depressing place filled with misery. We never have enough money, no matter what we do. We tried saving it, reducing our expenses and what not, but still struggled to make ends meet. My mom worked all day and night to support the family while all my dad did was drink all day and slack around the small excuse of a house we bought with the money we had.
It wasn't always like this. My dad was never an alcoholic, in fact, he was a good, hard-working man who loved his wife and daughter whole-heartedly. But our happy life was destroyed when he lost his job. Our financial problems forced us to move into a smaller house, and my mom worked to pay off the bills in place of my jobless father. But he never lost hope and kept on trying, working odd jobs, giving interviews at random places, but nothing worked. That's when he turned to alcohol. It was his only escape from all the pain and disappointment.
Ever since he got addicted to alcohol, he became abusive. That was when my worst nightmare came true. Night after night, he would fight with my mom. It was either about money or he would force himself on her, beating her into a pulp while I just watched the painful scene commence. Every time I interjected, trying to stop them from fighting or to protect my mom, I got my share of beatings from my once loving dad as well. I sometimes wish my mom would just leave him, but she's still just going on with it. It's either because she's still in love with the person her husband once used to be or she just doesn't have enough money to file for divorce. Me and my mom don't speak with each other much as well.
My school fees were a big issue, to the point my mom considered letting me be a dropout. But my scholarship was a blessing in disguise. It made things much easier. My education was paid for, saving a lot of money for us. Every month, a small amount of money was deposited in my mom's account since I didn't own one. But she never gave me a single penny of the amount that was deposited thanks to my knowledge. The money was either wasted on my dad's booze or just to pay bills but most of the time, it was used to get my dad his daily dose of alcohol. That's why I requested the people who gave me the scholarship to help me open my own bank account and to deposit the money there. This upset my mom, resulting in a big fight but I eventually won.
Now I basically feed myself and fulfill my needs with my own money since my parents are too broke to do so. And they have no problem with it as long as I don't bother them and that's what I do. My dad is always too drunk and rarely sober for me to even have a small chat with him while my mom leaves before I wake up and arrives after I'm asleep. In short, I don't speak to them anymore and nor do they.
Once it was too late, I packed my books and left the library, wanting to get home before it was dark. I don't really fear the dark, it's the creepy, horny men around the area I live in that I'm afraid of. I slang my bag onto my back and reached the school exit, all ready to leave, when a loud rumble from the sky startled me. I glanced up, to find black clouds surrounding above my head. It was going to rain any minute and from the looks of it, it's going to get ugly. "Oh god, what have I done for which you hate me so much?" I whined loudly. I only had two options now as it had already started to rain. I either run my way home, getting wet or wait for it to die.
Option 1 seems better considering the fact that my alcoholic father will freak out and even hit me, for arriving late. I guess going home all wet is much better than getting beaten up by your own father huh? I can hear thunder and see lightning in the sky, making me have second thoughts. Well... Here goes nothing. I started running out of the school which was sheltering me all this while from the storm outside. I'm half out of school when I hear my name being called out.
"Ahnjong" I can recognize this smooth, deep voice anywhere, even in my sleep, the voice I'm in love with. I turn around to see Taehyung, with an umbrella sheltering him from the heavy raindrops falling from the grey sky. "Taehyung...?" His name left my lips before I knew it. He comes closer, my lips are shivering from the harsh coldness but I'm all burning up inside as he stands next to me. He placed the umbrella above our heads, protecting both of us from getting wet. "Better?" He asked, his voice was low as if speaking to a kid. "Yes... thank you" I said and nodded slightly. "Come on, I'll drop you home, it's too dangerous for you to be out here alone" He suggested. I thanked him again and we walked together to the place I call home.
He was all cold and pissed off in the afternoon but now that he's being nice to me, I don't know what to say or do. It was too unexpected. My heart was beating at a fast pace and I felt butterflies in my stomach.
I must be a fool who can't be helped
Even when the four seasons change, I don't.
I looked awful, my black hair was damp with all the water that I faced and my lipgloss was smudged. My skin was cold and my clothes stuck onto my body uncomfortably. "Were you really planning to run home like that in the rain?" He chuckled, giving me a glance before looking away. "I had no choice..." I trailed off. I can make out that he was trying not to look at me, truth to be said, it offended me a bit. I look bad but so bad that you can't even look at me. "When push comes to shove you gotta do what you gotta do" I replied once again, he laughed again and grinned at me, this time looking at me straight in the eye. "It doesn't make any sense Ahnjong" it felt as if everything was back to normal again. All the tension between us was forgotten in the moment and I couldn't ask for more.
There was comfortable silence between us as we neared my house. The rain had started to slow down a bit. I looked up at his perfectly sculpted face. How can a person look this godly? Heck, even an angel would be jealous of his inhuman beauty. "So" he started and breathed in before letting it out again "do you really like Eunwoo or are you just playing with him?" He questioned, catching me off guard. "You think I'm just playing around?" I'm quite offended and hurt, because he thinks of me that way. "You have quite a reputation for playing with boy's hearts. I'm just genuinely worried for my friend" he shrugged. He seriously believed in all the rumors about me created by bitches who were just jealous of me? He avoided eye contact with me. "You think I'm playing with him? I thought you knew better Taehyung" I spat, clearly upset that he thought so lowly about me. I tried my best to be silent, not to mess up things in anger. "I'm not trying to offend you, I just don't want my close friend to be heartbroken by a girl who's just playing around with him. Don't get me wrong, I'm just speaking based on your past and the girls you're friends with" what? Why my friends? He says he isn't trying to offend me but he already has. "My friends? What do they have to do with any of this?" I questioned, impatiently waiting for an answer "You three are more infamous than you think. Especially you to be honest" I click my tongue "it's about Daniel, isn't it?" He nodded "Obviously, you kissed another guy in front of him, aware that he's watching and when he demanded an explanation, you just embarrassed him in front of everyone by saying that you were sick of him and broke up with him" as I thought. He judged me based on what he saw. It had stopped raining now and we had already reached my small house. "You only know half of the story. You only saw what happened and came to a conclusion yourself. Have you ever thought about why I did it? He wasn't a good person Taehyung. He was very possessive and he also openly flirted with girls. He used to force himself upon me and never cared about my feelings. I even found him hanging around with other girls numerous times. I was sick of giving him a chance every time. He slapped me once in an argument when I knew it was time for me to let go. That's why. Do you still think what I did was wrong?" I questioned boldly, after telling him the entire truth about the relationship I was in about a year ago with Kang Daniel.
He shook his head and asked again "So that was the reason?" I started walking away from him, as my house was in my view "I give people what they deserve with absolutely no regrets and he deserved it '' I replied as I turned my head towards him "Thanks for dropping me, Taehyung. I should go now. Good night" with a polite goodbye, I left him alone and walked away but I still catched his words that were said before he left. "That's exactly why I'm distancing myself from you, Jong Ahnjong" Why Kim Taehyung? I don't understand. What on earth have I done to deserve this from you?
How can I be closer ,uh uh ?
Why can't I find an answer for this love?
How am I gonna find it? How? Oh, let me know
The warmth of the melody started melting. This genuine warmth please stay forever.
I want you to believe ms., I'll come get you.
Someday, someday,Kim Taehyung
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Songs used: Hope not by Blackpink and Crystal snow by BTS