Taking a deep breath, I asked, "What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news?"
With raised eyebrows, my Dad answered curiously, "I suppose let's start with the bad." He crossed his arms as he for once gave me his full attention, watching me expectantly.
Shit! This isn't how I planned it at all. Why did I just say that? I guess I didn't want what I was about to say to sound so bad but I know I didn't do myself any favors leading with that question. I'm not even sure what the good news in all this? Then, her face popped into my mind. Elle of course. Elle is the only good part of this. I didn't usually worry much about my dad, he had yelled at me and lectured me too often for it to phase me much anymore. This is different, though. It feels like he has the power to make or break any of the plans Elle and I make. I needed him on our side. Which only made me terrified that I was blowing it already. It reminded me of when I was a kid trying to explain to my dad why I got into my first fight. Telling him the kid was being mean to Elle and Lee didn't seem to be enough of a reason to throw that punch. Not when my Dad was getting calls from the kid's parents and the principal. No matter what I said, Dad just seemed to get more mad at me.
I make myself pause and take a deep breath hoping to continue with what I had actually prepared to say. Before I could start, my Dad must have gotten tired of waiting and asked, "What's the bad news, Noah?"
So instead of starting off how I wanted, I tried to answer Dad's question. "Well, I suppose rather than bad, it could be called disappointing news. Maybe eventually it could even be called good news, depending on how you look at it." My Dad sighed in exasperation and looked like he was about ready to jump in with a question. Before he could interrupt me, I finally spit it out. "My girlfriend is pregnant." I caught the surprise on Dad's face before I went on. "I know this isn't ideal timing in our situation but in time could be good. Babies can be good news right?"
My Dad was silent after I told him but that only made me keep rambling. He was usually quick to yell when he was upset so I was thrown by his reaction. I continued with a rush of words, not at all how I had planned to tell him when I had gone through this in my head earlier in the day. "The good news is it's Elle. . . my girlfriend is Elle. Although, I suppose you could say that is the bad news too, that it's Elle that's pregnant. So I guess it's not good news that she's pregnant but she's the good part of all of this." God damn it. What am I even saying? I had been staring at my hands as I talked but as I paused I made myself look directly at my Dad, thinking again about Elle and how much I needed this talk to go well. I needed to make it work for her. I continued, trying to sound more confident than I did, "I love her, Dad. I love her so much and even though we are far too young and we know this is going to challenge all of our plans for our futures, I want to be with her and I want to make this work with her. We're going to keep the baby." I kept my eye contact with my Dad until I was finished. My Dad's expression was steely when I finally stopped talking. I had practiced a lot of what I wanted to say in my head today although it did not sound nearly as good out loud in front of my Dad as it had in my head, I was happy that I was able to get the last part out. That's what I felt was most important for him to understand.
When he finally responded his voice was quiet, not the yelling I was expecting. "Here I thought you had become more responsible recently. That you were becoming an adult and getting ready for your college life. I haven't had a call from your principal or complaints from your coach in months. But instead you were being the most irresponsible you've ever been in your life. Not only ruining your future but Elle's also? I was so proud when you got into Harvard. What will your future be now?"
Of course he's disappointed, I didn't expect anything different from him. "Mom thinks we can do this." I countered as I stared defiantly back at him.
"Your Mom uses her rose-colored glasses a little too much. Harvard is hard enough and with football on top of that, how can you expect to be able to survive there dealing with a baby?"
I was getting frustrated and had to work to keep from reacting to my rising temper. That wouldn't help things at all. I just don't understand why he can't ever be on my side. "There are colleges in California."
"Yes, and none of them are Harvard." Of course his biggest problem with this whole situation would be how it would affect me going to his precious Harvard. Dad has been pushing me towards going to college there for as long as I can remember. I wonder if he would even care about all of this if I had never gotten into Harvard.
I knew at that point, that there was no arguing with him about this right now. He wanted to convey his disappointment in me and I needed to sit back and let him do that. When he had that all out of his system, he would move on to the next step, which would probably be some sort of punishment. Maybe after that, he would be ready to listen to my thoughts on how Elle and I could do this and offer the advice I so desperately needed. Instead of getting any guidance, I relaxed back into my chair, put a passive expression on my face, and pretended to listen to his lecture, the whole time wondering how this same conversation was going at the Evans house.
When Elle and I finally talked later that night, it sounded like the talk with my Dad went well compared to the talk with hers. Needless to say, I was not looking forward to my next run in with Mike Evans. Elle has had a ridiculously stressful couple days. From first finding out she was pregnant, then having to tell everyone about it, starting with me and today her rough conversations with Lee and her Dad. I just wish there was something I could do about it. Mike wouldn't let her see me and I think she was scared even to call me that night because she didn't want him to get any more upset with her. Mike had come down pretty hard, even insisting that he would be taking her to school from now on.
At least Elle and I had already decided it was time to let the whole school know about our relationship so we wouldn't have to avoid each other there anymore. We did not, however, plan on telling anyone outside of our families about the pregnancy yet. We had enough to deal with without having to listen to all the high school gossip. We would just need to survive the wrath of Lee.
Not long after I finished talking with Elle, I had a knock at my door. At this point, I almost didn't answer, not wanting to hear anything more from my Dad or to have to deal with Lee. The whole day had been exhausting and I was done with it. I finally realized that I couldn't hide from my family forever and opened my door. Luck was on my side for the first time today and it was my Mom. She walked into my room and pulled me in to a hug. I put my arms around her and fell into her hug like I hadn't since I was a little kid. I really needed that. I stayed there in her arms until she finally pulled away and we both sat down on the edge of my bed. I told her about how my talk with Dad had gone, although I imagine she had already heard it from him.
"I know this must be really difficult for both you and Elle. But think of how shocked you were when you heard the news. You need to give everyone else a bit of time to process this. Your Dad will come around. You know he loves you."
I loved my Mom so much for being so supportive. I'm sure she is just as upset about the repercussions this will have on our futures as everyone else is but she hasn't once voiced any of her disappointment in us. "I know what everyone must be thinking when they first find out about Elle and I being together at the same time they find out Elle is pregnant. That I was using her just to get her in bed. But that isn't true." I can't believe I'm actually talking to my Mom about this. Although given the situation, it's not like I can pretend that I'm not having sex. "Maybe we did start that part of our relationship a little too soon but there was so much more to it than that. I've never felt the way I do about her before."
"Oh Noah, I can tell that by the way you talk about her and by the way you look at her. I'm surprised you were able to keep it a secret for so long because now that I know, I can see how you feel every time you look at her. Have you talked to Elle tonight?"
I nodded. "Sounds like Mike's really pissed." I paused for a beat before continuing with what had been bothering me since Elle told me how mad her Dad was. "You don't think there's any way he would make her get rid of it? Get rid of the baby?"
"No." My Mom answered so definitively that I believed her. "He wouldn't do that. He'll come around and your Dad will too."
I put my hands on my forehead, massaging my temples. "Mike doesn't want Elle to see me anymore."
"I'm sure he'll get over that too." Mom fixed a piece of hair that had fallen in my eyes before giving me a smile. "We'll figure this all out. I promise, Noah."
"Thanks Mom. I love you."
"I love you too, honey."
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The next morning, I got to school early and waited by Elle's locker. Lee and Rachel walked by while I waited. Lee scowled at me before storming off without saying a word. Rachel looked at me apologetically as she followed behind him. Elle's Dad dropped her off shortly before the bell rang so we didn't have much time before we had to head to class. As soon as I saw her walking down the hall, I went to her, pulling her in for a long hug before walking her to her locker, then to her class. I wasn't worried about being late for my class, Elle was all that mattered right now. We got some curious stares from classmates who I'm sure were shocked to see us together, but honestly, I hardly noticed anyone else. I tried to talk Elle into skipping class so we could talk but she was worried about doing anything to get her into more trouble with her Dad right now, especially if it involved me.
When we were keeping everything a secret, I had dreamed of being able to sit in the cafeteria with Elle by my side, showing off to everyone that she was with me. That wasn't going to happen today though. We wanted to avoid Lee and also needed a chance to talk in private. So instead of sitting in the lunchroom, I led Elle outside. I knew of a spot where we would have some privacy. On our way out, we walked past Tuppen in the hallway. He shot me a smirk, giving me a thumbs up. I'm sure he thought I was taking Elle out so we could mess around. He was no different than the rest of my so called friends who had been bugging me for intel all day about what I was doing with Elle Evans. I ignored all of them, not even acknowledging their questions. I had more important things to worry about and right now I needed to see how my girl was handling everything.