[𝐘/𝐧'𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐕]
On our way back from the gathering, Sasayuri and I walked along a back street with few streetlamps.
Sasayuri spoke enthusiastically about Makoto.
I paid him a little attention, just nodding now and then, while I thought back everything that had happened so far.
I had suddenly jumped back in time, landing in my college days and then, before I had any time to calm down and think, I had met Makoto for the second time.
If you thought about it normally, this was a complete impossible state of affairs, but I was having a weirdly easy time accepting this strange wonder.
No I wasn't just accepting it— I was using this situation to attempt to change the future.
My own adaptabiliity surprised me.
"Makoto's kind of an unusual case though huh? She's so cute but she doesn't put up a front at all." He spoke.
"Yeah, and her personality seems really great, so I think she'd be perfect for you." I replied.
I knew better than anyone that she was unusual, and that she didn't put up a front.
I certainly knew it far better than Sasayuri.
I truly wanted to say that. But it wasn't something that I could say.
I had sworn to endure this pain, if it meant never making Makoto cry again.
So, as much as possible, I continued to crush down my emotions.
I just smiled and speak to him.
"You two really hit it off, bantering with each other and complementing one another. I felt like I was watching a husband and wife comedy routine, I was laughing the whole time."
That was a lie.
I actually wasn't laughing at all.
I didn't recall much of what had happened after the two of them got back from the restroom.
But I remembered the vividly sense of helplessness I felt as Makoto and Sasayuri had so much fun chatting one another, while all I could do was watch from the distance.
As I imagined that this sort out things would only continue to happen after today, my chest started hurting.
Couldn't I just confess to Makoto and build our relationship from the very beginning?
This time, it would work.
I wouldn't make the same mistakes.
This time, I could make Makoto happy.
I heard this sweet, gentle whisper in my ear over and over again, and almost fell for it.
But every time, the sight of Makoto's dejected face at my side reared itself again in my head.
It was fine, I would get used to it soon.
That was what I told myself.
"I think I had a little too much drink..."
As we passed by a park, I flumped down into a bench, acting tipsy.
"I'm just gonna rest here for a bit. You can go on ahead, Sasayuri."
Without a word, Sasayuri made a dash for a vending machine, bought a plastic bottle of tea handing it to me and sat down beside me.
I had wanted to be alone, even just for a second, so his consideration irritated me a little.
But people who claim to want to be alone are often the people who need someone the most.
And Sasayuri was the kind of guy who wanted to be that 'someone' for people. It was one of his best points.
*Beep*
*Beep*
*Beep*
Suddenly, I heard a mechanical beeping noise coming from somewhere.
I glanced around, wondering what it was but couldn't find anything.
Sasayuri just sat there sipping from his own bottle of tea unconcerned, like he hadn't even heard the noise.
"It's almost a year since C/n (Cat name) died huh?"
He said drinking more than half the bottle in one go, then looked up at the night sky and muttered.
The lights from the city diluted the darkness of the sky, leaving only a few lonely glimmers.
"Yeah. Man... I guess it really has already been that long." I replied.
C/n was a cat my family owned, who had died of old age the year before.
I could still remember how when my mother called me and told me there wasn't much time left for her, my hands started shaking so hard that I almost dropped the receiver.
That cat had leave with me since I was in elementary school, so it was a major shock.
But given the lifespan of most cats, it was inevitable.
I was in college now, and after that, I found myself hesitant to go back home and visit.
But that was just an excuse. The truth was I was trying to turn away from the fact that C/n was going to die.
"Look you HAVE to go home!"
As I talked to Sasayuri about C/n, he grew insistent.
"It's fine. Cats only live so long... That's just how it is." I replied.
Sasayuri scolded me for pretending to be wise, then forcibly put me on the back of his motorbike and spent half the day driving me back home.
C/n, seeming a bit startled by my arrival, opened her eyes giving me a weak "meow" and tried in vain to stand up.
"No, it's okay. You can sleep." I said in a low tone.
As I reached out to pet her head, C/n licked my hand affectionately with her rough tongue.
Shortly after that, as though she had been waiting for me, C/n took her last breath.
As I sobbed uncontrollably, Sasayuri stayed right there with me, patting me on the shoulder and consoling me.
Despite his usual habit of chattering on about everything and nothing, in that moment, he completely stayed by me without saying a word.
In scolding me for trying to avoid accepting C/n's final moments, he taught me how to face things head on.
If I was in pain, I could say so. If I was sad, I could cry.
This all seemed obvious enough, but he helped me understand it for real.
And he waited with me as I wept, until the tears stopped from coming.
Instead of running away from my sorrow, he caught me and tried to help me heal my wounds.
That's the kind of guy Sasayuri was.
And maybe he could help Makoto too after the way she had been hurt.
That was what I hoped.
"Why don't we get on my bike again and visit her grave?" He asked.
I nodded and smiled at him.
"Thanks. I'm sure that would make C/n happy."
I remembered how, even after we graduated from college, Sasayuri would do his best to take me to visit C/n's grave every year on the date of her death.
I forgot all about playing drunk and tossed away my empty bottle.
It traced an arc in the air and landed in the trash can with a satisfying sound.
"You know, Y/n... I feel like sometimes you force yourself trying to hide your own emotions." He said.
"Yeah..?" I asked uncertainly.
"Especially when you're feeling something really intense. It's like you're fighting yourself in order to hide it. I get worried seeing you like that."
"...."
I remained silent, uncomfortable with how completely he had seen through me.
"So even if it feels like I'm like butting in or doing too much, I'm going to keep on overboard for your sake. If something is bugging you, I'm gonna help you so much you'll get sick of me."
I remembered hearing this line.
He said the same thing to me the day that he took me home, after I thanked him for helping me be there to see C/n's last moments.
"All right... Well whenever something is bugging you Sasayuri, I'll go overboard to help you too." I spoke.
"Yeah." He replied while smiling, looking embarrassed.
In these days before anybody got hurt, we all enjoyed our time together.
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[𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 (𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐄𝐢)]
[𝐄𝐢'𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐕]
Today, Makoto dragged me along to a drinking party.
The others in attendance were one man and one woman, whom I shall call "the idiot" and "the gloomy one".
I made it plain that I was not in a good mood, but the gloomy one smiled back at me without even flinching which threw me off.
She doesn't seem like the sociable type, nor the type who doesn't know how to take a hint, so I was surprised.
Maybe she's the kind of girl who gets off on being told off by strong willed women?
When I thought about it that way, it really creeps me out a bit.
I wasn't a fan of the overly familiar way she looked at my sister, either.
At least, I couldn't feel any ulterior motives in it.
It's a bit hard to put this into words, but it was like... She was looking at a cherished family member or something.
Exactly what kind of person is this "gloomy one?"
Well anyway, neither of them is the type I have much interest in getting to know.
I don't know exactly how to word it but... I just didn't get a good feeling from them.
I warned my sister that it would be better not to involve ourselves with them too much but it didn't seem like she was listening to me very seriously.
That girl is literally impossible when her mind is now focused on 'living the moment'.
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[𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 (𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐨𝐭𝐨)]
[𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐨𝐭𝐨'𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐕]
I made some new friends today.
Their names are Sasayuri and Y/n and they're the same year as we are.
Sasayuri just happened to come up and start talking to us while we were on campus, and the four of us including my sister wound up going drinking together.
Sasayuri and Y/n are both interesting people, it was great.
Sasayuri was sunny and chatty, while Y/n was quiet, but also seemed very levelheaded.
Their personalities are completely different, but they're best friends, they said.
I certainly know how it is.
After all, at first glance, Ei and I are total opposites, but we're best friends too but not only that, the both of us are identical twins.
As usual, Ei had her "Don't talk to me" aura on at full blast but Y/n went ahead and talked to her, apparently unfazed by the attitude she was talking, which was a surprise.
When most people especially boys look at Ei when she's in that mood, they get startled and flinch away, but Y/n didn't seem worried about it at all.
Pretty amazing for her to do that.
Of course, I know fully well that my younger sister is adorable, dependable, compassionate girl who cares about her family and friends more than anything.
A lot of boys don't pick up on that during their first meeting, so they always let it get under their skin, but Y/n seems to be different although she is a girl but who cares? Love isn't all about gender.
Maybe Y/n picked up on Ei's true charm.
Her way of dealing with Ei almost made it seem as though she already knew her personality and appeal.
She neither push it too far, nor left her completely alone by avoiding her. It was truly a remarkable response.
It's almost hard to believe that Y/N is the same age as we are— her mental age seems much higher.
Maybe Y/n can help Ei get over her hatred of people especially men?
Oh right, Sasayuri mentioned that Y/n's cooking specialty is fried tofu.
Just I was getting wrapped up in Sasayuri's story about how Y/n once made fried tofu and brought it to him, Ei decided to bring up that I'm bad at cooking when she's so much worst than I am. It was certainly embarrassing.
I don't see why she had to bring that up in a place like that. My sister can really be mean sometimes but I pretty much love her and I know better than anyone how kind Ei truly is.
Sasayuri and Y/n really are great people. I'm glad to have met them.
Sasayuri did seem genuinely spooked by Ei's unapproachable aura, which was a little funny.
That said, maybe it's just a matter of time before he realizes how wonderful she is?
Well, regardless of that, it will DEFINITELY take some time before Ei can get used to Sasayuri.
But anyway, I get the feeling that, Y/n will be good at bringing everyone's good points together, so I hope we'll hang up more.
I can sense that my college life is about to go through some big changes this year.
That's the kind of spring day I had.
I feel like I've gained a strong ally in Y/n, with the way she was able to accept Ei as she was.
I looked forward to the next time we all get together.
<𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 4 𝐄𝐧𝐝.>