How hard is it to come here? To my moving-up.
I waited. Seconds, minutes, hours. Until, "Hindi na sila makapupunta, hija..." Nay Dorya stated.
I shake my head, "They'll come. I know they'll come..."
She sigh, "Tinawagan ako ni Senyor Peter at sinabing hindi sila makararating."
I hoped. But I guess it won't happen.
As we were walking to the car when someone shouted my name. "Liza Keilyn!" I turn my head and saw Arya. Smiling widely. She ran towards me and hugged me tightly. "Ang galing naman ng kaibigan ko! Valedictorian!" she proudly said.
I chuckle, "'Wag ka nga!"
"Nay Dorya, hiramin ko lang saglit si Liza, please!" nag-puppy eyes pa!
"Ayaw ko nga," seryosong sambit ni Nay Dorya.
"Damot!" pananaray ni Arya.
Kung hindi ko lang sila kilala, aakalain ko na seryoso sila. Umiling-iling na lang ako at tinalikuran na silang dalawa.
"Nay Dorya, two hours lang! Promise!" pamimilit pa ni Arya.
"Wala naman akong magagawa. Basta mag-ingat kayong dalawa." Iling na ani Nay Dorya.
Bigla naman tumalon-talon si Arya at sumusuntok pa sa hangin. "Yes! Thank you, Nay Dorya! Mabuhay ka hangga't nais mo!" sabay hila sa akin paalis.
Hinila niya ako pasakay sa tricycle at sinabihan na, "Grabe naman 'yang mukha mo! Baka sabihin nila pinilit kita!"
"Ay, hindi ba?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.
"Oo nga 'no? Pero kahit na! Smile ka naman! Ganito, oh!" sabay pakita ng ngiti niyang labas ang mga ngipin.
"Saan ba kasi tayo pupunta?" pag-iiba ko.
"Basta!"
Hindi ko na siya pinilit na sabihin sa akin at hinayaan na siya.
After minutes, the tricycle stopped. Pinababa niya naman ako agad at nagbayad. Umiling naman ako sa kaniya dahil alam ko kung gaano siya nagtitipid tapos siya pa nang libre sa pamasahe. Mahal ang pamasahe sa tricycle at walang jeep gaano rito.
"Tada! Surprise!" sigaw niya at hinarap akong nakangiti.
Tinignan ko naman ang paligid at unti-unting bumuhos ang mga luha ko. Tinignan ko si Arya at hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngiti sa labi niya. Do I deserve Arya?
"Hala, hindi mo ba nagustuhan?" nag-aalala niyang tanong.
Imbis na sumagot, tumakbo ako patungo sa kaniya at yinakap siya. "Thank you..."
"Pinakaba mo naman ako!" hinila niya pa ang buhok ko. "Masaya akong nagustuhan mo. Masaya ako na kahit papaano ay natuwa ka sa surpresa ko." Hinarap niya pa ako at nginitian ng walang kasing tamis.
"Salamat, Arya. Salamat..." Niyakap ko siyang mahigpit.
"Sus! Deserve mo 'to, Liza! Deserve mong maging masaya lagi. At lalong-lalo na, deserve mong maging masaya sa araw ng iyong kaarawan. Happy Birthday, Liza Keilyn Tijana Cruz! I love you so much!"
I couldn't help but cry. How could I forget my birthday? Did I forget? Or do I just burn it inside of me?
Arya... Arya took me to a beach. She surprised me with a picnic blanket full of food. She said, "Inayos ko 'to kaninang madaling araw bago pumuntang school. Pinabantayan ko muna sa nangangalaga ng lugar. Fresh itong mga prutas, huh? Tsaka masasarap 'yang mga pagkain dahil ako ang nagluto!" pagyayabang niya pa.
"We?" pang-aasar ko.
"Aba't!" pinanlakihan pa ako ng mata.
"Joke lang! Siyempre, masarap ang luto mo! At masaya ako na naalala mong birthday ko ngayon." Sabay tingin sa dagat.
"Siyempre naman! Bakit hindi?" takang tanong niya. "Lagi lang akong nandito, Liza. Hindi kita iiwan."
That assured me. With all the doubtful thoughts, it cleared my mind. I doubt my existence. But Arya made me want to continue. She made me realize a lot of things.
"What the hell did you do, Tijana?!" Lolo Peter's voice roared in our living room.
Iyon agad ang bumungad sa akin pagkarating ko sa bahay. Totoo nga ang sinabi ni Arya. Pagkatapos ng saya, may lungkot na kasunod dito.
"Answer me, Tijana!" I flinch at his voice.
"What did I do, Lolo? I don't know what you're talking about." I answered honestly. Dahil wala naman akong ginawang mali. Naghintay lang naman ako sa pagdating nila.
"They are talking about you! It spread like a wildfire, Tijana! Si Arya Vasquez ang nagsabit ng medalya sa'yo?!" so that's the issue.
I nodded.
He scoffs and looks at me unbelievably. "What a shameful act! How could you allow that, Tijana?!"
I looked at him apologetically. I can't win even if I argue with him.
How could they act as if they forgot what happened? After ditching me.
"Tijana! You disappointed us!" Daddy exclaimed angrily. They entered my room. Without knocking... Without permission.
"How could you do that, Tijana!" Mommy added.
I'm also disappointed in all of you.
I wanted to voice it out. But I don't have any strength. I don't have the right to disobey them.
Just like that, I'm a disappointment again. What should I do now? Life seems unfair. To me, especially.
My phone rang and I looked at the registered name. Lulu. Even though I didn't want to answer it now, my hands picked up my phone immediately. Felt excited to hear him.
["Happy birthday, Tix!"] He didn't forget! It made my heart flutter. It scares me immediately.
No way! Stop beating!
"Thank you, Lulu..." I couldn't answer anything!
["Uh-huh?"] It sounds like a mocking voice. This man!
"What?" I asked irritatedly.
["Just kidding, Tix. Anyway, I'm here outside the gate."]
"The fuck? What are you doing here?"
["Just go out, hehe."]
"Don't 'hehe' me, Luke Mendez!" I ended the call and immediately changed my clothes.
I'll kill this man! It's already midnight!
Bumaba ako at buti na lang ay wala ng tao sa baba. Tumakas ako at umakyat sa bakod na walang nagbabantay. Kahit si Luke pa ang pupuntahan ko, mayayari pa rin ako pag nalaman nilang lumabas akong bahay! Lalo na at mainit ang dugo nila ngayon sa akin. Wala naman akong ginagawang masama, eh!
"What are you doing here, Luke Mendez?!" I shouted when I arrived at his car. Yes, he's licensed so it's legal for him to drive. I'm not against him driving. I am mad because it's just him and we are at Bicol! It's a long hour drive from their house!
"I'm sorry..." He sincerely said.
I sigh and let him win. "Fine. Just don't do that again, huh? It's not safe, Lulu. Ang haba ng byahe at ikaw lang mag-isang nag-drive. Hindi ka pa sanay sa mahabang drive at kailangan mo ng kasama para may kapalitan ka sa pagmamaneho."
"Promise." He smiled at me and I did the same. Lumingon siya sa backseat at may kinuhang box. A cake. "Happy birthday, Tix!"
"Thank you! Pero 'wag mong sabihin na pumunta ka lang dito para bigyan ako ng cake? Isasampal ko sa'yo 'yang cake na 'yan."
"And what's wrong with that? It's your 17th birthday, Tix. I want to give you a cake and be with you just now. We often see each other, Tix. Plus, you are the valedictorian!"
"And thank you for that. I'm just worried, Lu." I smiled as I looked down.
"I'm fine, Tix. I'm sorry if I'm late. It's past your birthday already." He apologized.
"That's fine. I highly appreciate your efforts, Luke. How are you, by the way?"
"I'm alright. As well as the others. And, next week's our moving up. Will you come?"
"I don't know. Maybe, maybe not?" I can't promise anything. Especially they are mad at me.
"I'll talk to your family,"
Umiling ako sa kaniya. "I'll try but I won't promise, Lulu."
He nods and says, "Let's go somewhere, can we?"
I look at him and say, "Where do you wanna go?"
"You choose," he said smiling.
I rolled my eyes at him and just said where we are going. I chose near the seaside. There was no one there when we arrived. Probably because it's already midnight.
"So, how's your day?" he started.
"You asked that already, Luke," I said, rolling my eyes at him.
He chuckles, "You seem not okay to me. If you can also see what I am seeing right now, you'll probably ask yourself if you're okay. Trust me,"
"I... I'm just sad because of what happened earlier." I sighed.
"Right... I heard what happened to Belle. Is she alright?" he asked worriedly.
I look at him puzzled. What happened to Belle?
Before I could say anything, he continued. "They accused her of a cheater... That she doesn't deserve her grades because she cheated on her exam. And earlier, she was called by the Principal."
I couldn't utter any words. It made my mind blank.
Minutes passed, and I still couldn't talk. I wonder how Belle is right now? Is she alright? With my thoughts, I just stared at the dark sea.
Luke has an extra blanket that we placed on the sand and I am sitting on it, while Luke made my legs a pillow. He's asleep right now because he will drive back later at dawn.
I took my phone and called Belle. I thought it would take a while before she'd answer, but to my surprise, she answered immediately.
["Hi!"] As much as she pretends, she cannot hide anything from me.
"Stop pretending that you are okay, Belle." I sighed.
I heard her sigh as well. I waited for her response. Seconds had passed but she didn't say anything. Until I heard her cry. She's crying loudly right now. I couldn't help but cry silently. I don't want to wake Luke.
I wanted to run and go to her! I wanted to hug her and tell her I'm just here! How I wish I had some powers to teleport! But I don't have any powers to do that.
I am glad she stopped crying. Maybe because she's exhausted. I heard her snore a little and it made me smile. How cute. I miss doing a sleepover with her.
"Tix..." I can hear Luke's voice. Am I dreaming? And then I realized, we're together!
Looking around like a puzzle kid, I am confused about why I am inside Luke's car. Earlier we were just near the seaside!
"I woke up earlier and found you sleeping while sitting. Why didn't you wake me up? You could just sleep beside me." He said calmly.
"You're tired and you need some sleep. Especially, you're going back- The sun's rising already! Why are you still here? You should go back by now!" I said horrified.
"It's fine," he said chuckling.
Hindi sa akin ayos! Mayayari ako 'pag nakita nilang wala ako sa kwarto!
"We're few blocks away from your house. Alam kong tumakas ka lang," iling-iling niyang sabi.
"'Wag mo akong yabangan! Akala mo hindi ko alam na tumakas ka rin sa inyo?" I smirked.
He looked at me shocked. "How did you know?"
"Nagsumbong si Lucas sa akin na wala ka raw sa bahay niyo at tumakas ka na naman. At sabi niya pa, bumalik ka raw agad bago gumabi at isusumbong ka raw niya 'pag hindi ka pa umuwi."
"Gago talagang Lucas 'yon!" inis niyang sambit.
I chuckle, "Baba na ako. Mag-ingat ka magmaneho, Lulu." I smiled at him.
How lucky am I this day? Hindi ako nahuli at buti na lang walang kumatok sa pinto para gisingin ako. Pero sa kabilang banda, bigla akong nalungkot. Ibig sabihin ng hindi nila pag gising akin ay grounded ako.
Since we don't have classes anymore, I am stuck at our house. Sa madaling araw, tumatakas ako. Kung hindi kina Arya, kung saan-saan pero kasama pa rin si Arya. Ayaw ni Arya na hindi ako samahan. Baka raw kasi may makakilala sa akin at mayari ako.
"Hindi ka na naninigarilyo?" tanong ko kay Arya.
We're at their house and doing a movie marathon. It's already midnight and as usual, tumakas ako.
She looks at me and shrugs. "Tinigil ko na,"
Taka ko siyang tinignan dahil parang biglaan naman. It's not that I'm not happy about it. It's just that... It's strange to stop what you're used to doing.
She laughs. "Stop staring at me like that! Just congratulate me, shall we?"
Umiling na lang ako at itinuon na ang atensyon sa pinapanood.
Months passed and we're doing it regularly. Gumala sa madaling araw, mag-movie marathon, tumawa nang magkasama. It's good. And I'm happy for Arya. She quit her smoking and drinking era. Well, not the drinking era. We sometimes drink. Occasionally, of course.
Hindi ako nakapunta noong moving-up nila Lulu. Hindi ko na rin sinubukan na magpaalam sa kanila.
"Hoy, ang aga-aga nagpapaka emotera ka riyan!" sabay batok sa akin ni Arya.
"Pake mo," pananaray ko.
"Ah, gano'n? Sumasagot ka na sa master mo?" pinagkrus pa nito ang mga braso.
"Mas mukha kang taga sunod."
"Tangina nito, ah."
Buti na lang tinigilan na niya ako. Titimpla raw muna siya ng kape. Para magising daw ako sa katotohanan na siya ang master sa aming dalawa. Masters bed pwede pa.
"Inlove ka bang gago ka?" sulpot ni Arya na may dalang dalawang tasa ng kape.
"Sinong inlove?" gulat kong tanong. Bakit kasi bigla 'tong sumusulpot?
"Baka si 'Nay Dorya, beh," pilosopo niyang sagot.
Inismiran ko siya. "Tigilan mo ako. At fyi, hindi ako inlove!"
"Guilty," iling niyang ani.
"Ayaw kong ma-inlove!" sigaw ko sa kaniya.
"E 'di, 'wag kang ma-inlove! Bakit ka naninigaw?" sigaw niya rin.
"Tangina mo," aniya.
"Tangina mo rin," ganti ko.
"Tangina nating dalawa." Sabay naming bigkas.
Nauwi kami sa tawanan at kagaguhan.
"So, bakit ka nga malungkot?" simsim niya sa kape. "Pinagalitan ka na naman ba? May nangyari bang masama?"
"Today's the birthday of my older sister." I sigh.
She didn't say anything. She remains quiet. So do I. I couldn't utter any words. Minutes passed and there was no one talking between us. Until I felt her embrace. As if telling me she's just here, beside me.
I couldn't remember how that hug ended. But the only thing I remember is the warmth. And until now, it leaves me comfort.
Before the day ended, I came to visit my sister's tomb. My Ate Jessy. Just me. I don't want to be with anyone when I visit my Ate.
"Hi, Ate... how are you? Magkasama ba kayo ni Eloise ngayon? Nag-ce-celebrate rin ba kayo ng birthday mo riyan?" I smiled when I saw her name on the tomb. "Seems someone was here, huh?" I notice there are other flowers. "Happy birthday, Ate." Nilapag ko na ang dala kong bulaklak.
Wala na akong ibang masabi. Tinitigan ko na lang ang puntod niya at inaalala ang mga pinagsamahan naming dalawa. We're close. Back then. When she's still alive.
Is it possible to repeat those memories? I sigh. I don't guess so. They are already gone. It's unfair though. I wanted to be gone, too.
Back then, I didn't even have enough reason to walk on the same path. I wanted to stop walking and just let it consume me. But here I am. Still walking without any directions. Is it bad? Will it consume me? Hope so.
"You took STEM? Huh!" Lolo breathes heavily. As if he's disappointed again.
You're always a disappointment, Liza.
With those looks, I know what will happen next.
"You want that? Then be on top. I don't want anyone to be the best than you." As predicted.
Asa pa ako na hahayaan nila ako basta-basta na gawin ang gusto ko? Alam kong pumayag lang sila dahil ayaw nilang mapahiya at ipalipat ako sa ibang strand.
But I should celebrate, should I? My plan succeeded.
Strange but why I am feeling a slight burden in my chest? Am I sick? But I don't want to die yet! Ayaw kong iwan si Arya!
You're exaggerating again, Liza! Stop it!
As days go by, until it turns into months, it's time for school again. It's the same university, of course. Most of the students are freaking looking at me weirdly! Oh, right. They're expecting me to be a HUMSS student.
Well, I guess I am not that obedient anymore, huh? Should I be happy?
"Liza-rot!" someone shouted. When I turned my back, I saw Arya.
"Arya-lasinggera!" I shouted back.
I'm glad we're in the garden and there's no one here. Well, we should not have been seen together until now.
She hugs me and kisses me on my cheeks. "I missed you!"
Umalis ako sa yakap niya at tinignan siya ng masagwa. "Tigilan mo ako. Magkasama tayo kaninang madaling-araw."
Tumawa naman siya. "Ang hirap ng mga subject! Lalo na 'yung chemistry at physics!"
"Sa sobrang hirap ba nakatulog ka?" suya kong tanong sa kaniya.
"Hindi naman ako nakatulog, ah?" pagmamaang-maangan niya.
I roll my eyes. "Tanga, katabi lang kita at rinig ko ang hilik mo!"
"Rinig ba ng prof?" taka niyang tanong.
"Oo,"
"Tangina?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya at napahawak pa sa kaniyang bibig.
Nag simula na akong mag lakad. Iniwan na siyang tulala roon. Maya-maya lang, tumakbo na siya patungo sa akin.
"Gago! Yari ako nito! Pag nalaman ni Elfordo, masesermonan na naman ako no'n!" nag-aalala niyang ani.
"Yari ka." Pananakot ko.
"Wow. Salamat, huh? Gumaan loob ko. Sobra." Sarkastiko niyang sabi.
"Siyempre. At walang anuman." Tango ko pang saad.
Pinanliitan niya ako ng mata at maya-maya lang ay tinakbo niya ako at niyakap sa leeg. "Sarcism ba 'to, or what?"
"Nasasakal ako!" sigaw ko habang inaalis ang pagkakayakap niya sa leeg ko.
"Deserve, beh,"
Magbabangayan pa sana kami kaso may narinig kaming nagtatawanan patungo rito. Napabitaw kami sa isa't-isa at naglayo ng pwesto.
"Look who's here?" a girl stated. Grupo silang naririto sa harap ko.
Hindi pa rin ba nadadala ang mga ito?
"The 'Perfect' daughter of Mr. Governor." She said with a tone of sarcasm.
"What can I do for you?" I asked politely. As long as I want to talk back, I can't. And I won't.
"Acting polite, are you?" she smirked.
"I am polite to anyone." I smiled.
It irritates her. Deserve.
She rolled her eyes at me and just walked away. Well, that's new, huh?
"Proud of you!" Arya raised her hands and formed a heart shape above her head.
Kinindatan ko naman siya. Sa huli ay natawa na lang kaming dalawa.
Ngayon pa lang iniisip ko na. Paano kaya kung maghiwalay kaming dalawa? Hindi ko ata kaya 'yon. Hindi ko kaya na walang Arya sa buhay ko.
At nangyari nga ang kinatatakutan ko. She left. Without any words. Without saying goodbye. It hurts. I hate it when someone's leaving without saying goodbye. Just like my Ate and Eloise.
It makes me overthink things. Umalis ba siya dahil binu-bully siya? Umalis ba siya dahil hindi niya na kaya? Paano ako? Maka-sarili man, ayaw kong mahiwalay sa kaniya. Ayaw kong wala siya sa paningin ko.
Dahil kilala ko si Arya. I know there's something strange with her. May mali. May mali sa kilos at pananalita niya. Para bang may ipinahihiwatig ang mga ito. Ano ba ang nangyayari sa'yo, Arya?